19. EXT. MANSION GATES NOON

The open gates are decorated with white and visitors crowding every spot each person can find. ROBINSON, dressed in yellow, approaches the white stand to speak into the mike.

ROBINSON

People of Princeton and television viewers! I am proud to announce that my daughter has finally chosen a suitor.

As her mother speaks to the crowd, CAITLIN nervously waits for SAM to arrive. She fiddles with her white gown until…

SAM

Caitlin!

CAITLIN

Oh, Sali, where have you been?

SAM

Caitlin, there’s something I really want to talk to you about.

CAITLIN

The whole town showed up for us.

SAM

Caitlin, stop. I want you to listen to me.

CAITLIN gives him one kiss.

CAITLIN

Go on.

She pushes SAM out the moment ROBINSON says...

ROBINSON

Prince Sali Siddartha!

Crowd cheers. SAM nervously waves. No, it’s stage fright.

SAM

Oh, Christ, help.

SCENE CHANGE: INT. CHRISTINE’S LAIR

CHRISTINE and ARTHUR are watching the embarrassing show from the tower’s window.

ARTHUR

Wow, look at that, Jenner. They’re cheering on a inexperienced pipsqueak.

CHRISTINE unveils the lamp.

CHRISTINE

Let them cheer, Arthur. We have our own celebration coming soon.

Rubs the lamp, and MICHAEL appears, floating and cross-armed.

MICHAEL

You know, Sali, I’m starting to get very…I don’t think you’re him, are you?

Looks down at his left hand and CHRISTINE’s name appears, making him shiver.

MICHAEL

Jesus, the part of Samy will be played by a Kardashian toss out?

CHRISTINE kicks MICHAEL down to the ground.

CHRISTINE

Shut up! I’m your new and better master now!

MICHAEL

I was afraid she’d say that.

CHRISTINE

Genie! Grant me my first wish! I wish to rule on high ground as mayor of Princeton!

SCENE CHANGE: EXT. MANSION GATES

The sky starts filling up with thunder and dark clouds. The wind brews so hard that the gates almost smack CAITLIN until SAM pulls her away.

ROBINSON

What the hell is this?

She starts to glow around her clothes. With two sparks, ROBINSON is in rags.

ROBINSON

What the blazes?

CAITLIN

Mom!

CHRISTINE appears through smoke, wearing ROBINSON’s outfit, but fading to black, and laughing.

ROBINSON

Christine, you vile traitor!

ARTHUR

That’s Mayor Vile Traitor to you, missy!

SAM

Oh really? We’ll see about that!

Goes for his waist and realizes he left the lamp at the guest house.

SAM

The lamp!

CHRISTINE chuckles, twirling the lamp’s hand on her pointer finger.

CHRISTINE

Finders keepers, Swahili.

SAM looks up to see MICHAEL in dark, giant form, eyes glowing red. As the genie picks up the mansion property, SAM whistles for ALKAZAR. The shapeshifter hears him and jumps into carpet mode. SAM jumps on as he watches the people panic. MICHAEL puts the mansion on the cliffside.

SAM

Michael! What are you doing?

MICHAEL

Sorry, kiddo.

Shows SAM the hand with CHRISTINE's name.

MICHAEL

I have a new master now.

SAM

No, no, no, no!

ROBINSON

Christine! I order you to stop this at once!

CHRISTINE

Ah, but there’s a new order now, Mrs. Robinson. My order! Finally! You will bow to me!

ROBINSON was about to ‘til CAITLIN speaks.

CAITLIN

We will never bow to you!

ARTHUR

Why am I not surprised?

CHRISTINE

If you won’t bow to her majesty, then you might as well cower before a sorceress! Genie! My second wish! I Wish to be the most powerful sorceress in the universe!

MICHAEL covers his eyes as his fingers connect. SAM hops on his hand to break the transaction.

SAM

Michael! Stop!

They snap and a glow forms around CHRISTINE. Her laughter is painful to the ears.

ARTHUR

Ladies and gentlemen, it’s an honor for me to introduce you to Dark Sorceress, Christine Jenner!

CHRISTINE’s new outfit is a cloak with a popped collar, and she receives a magical staff as her new weapon. The staff is carved of snakes. ROBINSON and CAITLIN back away, shaking.

CHRISTINE

Now, where exactly were we? Oh yes! Forced appreciation, right?

She points the staff at CAITLIN and ROBINSON, forcing them to bow on their knees. SPOTS and REMY charge from behind to attack CHRISTINE. She turns, pointing to her staff.

CHRISTINE

You two should be in your cages!

SPOTS and REMY get caged. CAITLIN screams in horror as they get electrocuted trying to escape. CHRISTINE snickers, approaching CAITLIN.

CHRISTINE

Oh, Miss Robinson, I almost forgot. There’s a certain someone, I’m dying to introduce you to.

SAM

Christine!

SAM comes in on ALKAZAR.

SAM

Get your hands off her!

SONG: Prince Sali (Reprise)

CHRISTINE

Prince Sali, yes, it is he,

But not as you know him

Read my lips and come to grips with reality

Yes, meet a blast from your past

Whose lies were too good to last

Say hello to your precious Prince Sali!

With every word she said of the last line, more of SAM’s identity is revealed until he’s dressed in his old clothes.

ARTHUR

Or should we rather say, Samuel Sidhom, to be exact?

CAITLIN is taken back, clutching the part of her chest where her heart is.

CAITLIN

Sali, I…I don’t understand.

SAM

Caitlin, I want you to listen to me. I tried telling you. I’m just…

CHRISTINE

So Sali turns out to be merely Samuel

Transforms elephant SARAH back to her dog form.

CHRISTINE

Just a con, need I go on? Take it from me

His personality flaws

Give me adequate cause

To send him packing on a one-way trip so his prospects take a terminal dip

SAM

(Same time as CHRISTINE’S singing)

Michael! Help!

CHRISTINE

His assets frozen, the venue chosen

Is the ends of the earth - whoopee!

So long!

ARTHUR

Bye! See ya next lifetime!

CHRISTINE

Ex-Prince Sali!

CHRISTINE’s evil laughter mixed with lightning brings darkness to Princeton. CAITLIN and her mother are backed into a corner, scared to death.

FADE OUT