"C'mon Farrah, just relax." Charles whispers as his large hand slowly travels under my dress and up my thigh. I drew in a nervous breath. The back seat of his mustang was crammed and uncomfortable. We were at the drive-in supposed to be watching "Ocean's 11". But Charles just couldn't seem to focus on the movie or keep his hands to himself.
My breath quickened as his fingertips brushed against the lacey band of my underwear. I felt dirty and scared. No one had ever touched me down there. I'd been told it was a sacred place,only to be discovered by your husband. Charles would soon be my husband but he wasn't just yet. "Charles, what if someone sees us?" I asked, hoping he'd rethink his actions. "No one's gonna see us Farrah. It's dark. Couples get away with it all the time." He replied. Charles' hands returned to where they were before. He tugged at the band of my underwear hoping to get them down. "You let him do whatever he wants to you." My mother's voice rang in my ears. But I knew this wasn't right. I had to stop him.
"Charles, no!" I shouted. Charles glared at me the angry icy blue eyes. "What did you just say?" He asked. I drew in a breath. "I said no. I don't want to do this." I replied firmly. Charles chuckled darkly. "You stupid girl. You think if you tell me no I'll listen?" He asked running a hand up my thigh. "Well no one ever tells me no. I always get what I want. Even if I have to get it the hard way." He finished in a sinister tone as he began forcefully unbuckling his pants. I knew what was to come next.
"NO!! HELP!! I DON'T WANT THIS !! NO!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs but no one in the drive-in seemed to hear me. The movie was playing too loud. It was if when I opened my mouth nothing came. The harder and louder I screamed the more forcefully and painfully Charles ruined my innocence. "NO!!" I screamed. I felt like glass. I was cracking with each movement. I could feel my body shattering. I was falling piece by piece.
****
My eyelids flashed open as I sat erect in bed. My chest heaved up and down and nightgown clung to my sweaty skin. I prayed a prayer of thankfulness that it was only a dream and not reality. I had been thinking a lot about what my mother had told me yesterday. I was outraged about what she'd said about Michael but even more deeply disturbed about what she said about Charles.
The thought of him doing anything he please to me made me shudder. That was all wrong. I didn't know much about love but I did know that that was not the way it wasn't supposed to be that way. I had to clear my head, to get this off my chest. There was only one person that came to mind. The only person that'd be up at this time of night. The only person who would take time to listen to me.
I carefully and quietly crept out of bed and down the stairs tying my robe tight around my waist and putting on my slippers before leaving out the door. The night air was cool and crisp and smelled of sweet midnight musk. A chorus of crickets filled my ears. Night time was the absolute best time to me. If only life could be reversed. We sleep during the day and live during the night. What a crazy idea.
I'd finally reached the lake. I fully expected Michael to be sitting on the bank as he was nights before when I talked to him but to my disappointment he wasn't. I knew he couldn't be sleep though. He'd told me he had a sleeping disorder. Maybe he was just in his cabin. I quietly walked over to the small cabin across from the lake and knocked my knuckles against the wooden door hopping he'd answer.
A minuet later the door slowly creaked open. Michael appeared behind it wearing a thin white shirt and a pair of pants that seemed too big for his thin frame. His curls were a mess on his head and his big brown eyes were bloodshot red. "Farrah?" He asked softly. "Hi Michael. Can I come in?" I asked. Michael nodded his handsome head. "Sure." He replied opening the door wide enoguh for me to walk through. I smiled as I made my way through the door. I had been back by the lack a thousand times but I'd never been in the cabin. It was small and simple. a long cot, a small dresser and nightstand and a mirror were the only furnishings in the room. The cabin was illuminated by a tall candle that stood on the night stand. I took a seat on the cot as there was no where else for me to sit. Michael sat beside me.
"So, why are you up so late?" He ask turning to me. I sighed. "I can't sleep. I had a bad dream." I replied. He nodded his head in a slow and understanding way. His eyes darted nervously across the room. A question that I wanted an answer to suddenly popped in my head. "Was it you?" I asked twirling a strand of hair on my finger. "Was it me who what?" Michael replied, his eyebrows furrowing. "Was it you who got me the journal?"I asked hopeful. Michael grinned sheepishly. "Yeah, it was me." He replied his eyes falling down to the floor. I tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear. "How'd you know I needed another?" I asked. Michael sighed. "I found the other one in the tree. All the pages were written on so I decided to get another." He replied.
I felt my cheeks burn with embarrassment. I had written a few things about Michael in my journal. I sure hope he didn't read any of it. "Did you read it?" I asked softly. Michael smiled. "Just a little bit. You've got some good thoughts. Keep writing." He encouraged. I smiled to myself happy to receive his complement. A deep silence loomed over us for a time until I spoke. " Well, thank you. It was very nice of you.The reason I really came was to talk to you." I declared. Michael's eyes widened. "You want to talk to me about something that's bothering you?" He asked surprised. "Yes, if that's okay?" I replied. Michael smiled. "Of course. What's on your mind?"
I took a deep breath."Do you think it's okay for a man to do whatever he pleases to a woman?" I asked. Michael's face softened. "Well of course not. Women are supposed to be treated with respect. Like the precious flowers they are; not like objects." He replied. My heart jumped with joy to know that Michael thought of women as precious flowers. "Is this about your boyfriend? Charles?" He asked. I nodded. Michael sighed a melodious sigh. "Well, if he's pressuring you to do something you don't want to do, you shouldn't. You should tell someone." He replied. I sighed. "See that's the thing Michael, I'm trapped. My mother told me I should let him do whatever I want. She wouldn't believe me if Charles forced himself upon me. And she wouldn't care. There's no one I can turn to." I replied.
I couldn't help it. Hot tears had made there way down my cheeks. I probably looked a mess as I sat there on the cot sobbing my heart out.
I felt a pair of strong arms wrap around me and the strongest sense of peace surround me. "Then let me be the one." He whispered. "What?" I asked through my tears. Michael gently removed himself from the embrace and turned me so that I was facing him. He slowly reached out and whipped away my tears with his thumb."Let me be the one you run to, when you need someone to turn to." He replied. I stared into his dreamy, doe brown eyes. I felt as if I could see and feel all the love of the world in them. I said nothing. Instead, I slowly leaned in a pressed my lips against his.
A jolt of electricity surged through my body. I had never been kissed before; I had never kissed anyone before. But the moment felt so real, so right. Michael seemed very surprised at first but in no time his was kissing me back. His lips felt like heaven against mine. My arms wrapped protectively around his neck and his slender fingers tangled themselves in my wavy locks. This was everything I had dreamed my first kiss would be like.
I slowly pulled away; Michael's fingers still in my hair, my arms still around his neck. "I would love for you to be the one."
Author's Chapter Notes:
Hi readers!! Here's a long awaited chapter. I hope you all are having a great day remembering Michael.5 years and it feel like only yesterday. Michael is gone but he is never forgotten. Please don't forget to review!!!
Chapter End Notes:
Thanks for reading and please review!!