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Author's Chapter Notes:

This is brief, but I wanted to get this up before the end of the year.

 

Dialogue.

Up until now, I've briefly touched upon the need to vary speech style amongst characters, the eye-glazing wall-of-text, the need for quotation marks, ...and little else that is directly related to how to write dialogue.  You see, the other basic general questions lead to basic answers:

Why? Because it adds life to a story.

When? When it helps to move the plot forward, adds depth to a character, or provides important information.

If a given passage of dialogue doesn't further any of these points, then it either needs to be modified so that it does, or cut out.

In order to not refer too much to previous chapters, I'll summarize the major points (with some minor additions):

 

Start a new paragraph each time a speaker changes. This isn't a place to get creative or take pride in doing it differently. Yes, sometimes this may mean that a paragraph can be as short as "No". Deal with it. If that's all the person says before someone else speaks, then that's how long that paragraph needs to be.  Ignoring this fundamental rule will have a cascade of costs to your readership. Regardless of how many times you write "he said" or "she said", blurring speakers within a single paragraph will eventually confuse readers. It also makes your dialogue instantly more difficult to read. A lot of readers read right before bed or while relaxing - there is nothing relaxing about reading a paragraph in which there are multiple speakers. You may think it looks "prettier", but ignoring this rule is like getting Lasik when your vision is perfect. Don't spite your readers to feed your own vanity. If you really like your readers, add a space between speakers.  Note the difference it has on the eyes:

 

Without Spaces:

"I think..." She trailed off as she became seemingly fascinated by a loose thread on the pillow.

"I can't hear you when you don't speak." He chuckled uncomfortably.

"I think I'm.... I mean, I'm pretty sure... I mean, I haven't tested yet but......I'm late."

"You're late for?" Michael froze and his eyes widened as it dawned on him. His voice sounded constricted when he next spoke. "I haven't seen you in four months because you were too busy to visit me on tour. You don't look four months pregnant...."

 

With Spaces:

"I think..." She trailed off as she became seemingly fascinated by a loose thread on the pillow.

 

"I can't hear you when you don't speak." He chuckled uncomfortably.

 

"I think I'm.... I mean, I'm pretty sure... I mean, I haven't tested yet but......I'm late."

 

"You're late for?" Michael froze and his eyes widened as it dawned on him. His voice sounded constricted when he next spoke. "I haven't seen you in four months because you were too busy to visit me on tour. You don't look four months pregnant...."

 

Use appropriate punctuation. This means apostrophes to distinguish what is being said. In a back and forth between two people, this can make a few repetitions of said, responded, told, etc. extraneous.  Remember that each time you open a statement with quotation marks, you must end it with quotation marks. If you throw a movement in the middle of a sentence, make sure to close the statement before the gesture, and reopen it after.

"There you are! He playfully patted her butt. I was beginning to think you'd disappeared on me again."

This is comical and confusing (not to mention a little disturbing) when imagined coming out of Michael's mouth. It also disrupts the flow of your story and detracts from the quality of your work.

 

Consider your dialogue tags.  Words such as said, told, reported, and called are useful, but they can be overused. For instance:

"What did you say?" Michael asked.

"I'm going out," Sarah repeated.

"What for?" Michael asked.

"I just am," she stated.

Besides Sarah sounding guarded/defensive/annoyed (i.e. the intended goal), the dialogue itself sounds like a game of Ping-Pong. Now, let's try it again:

"What did you say?" Michael asked.

"I'm going out," Sarah repeated.

"What for?"

"I just am."

"Seriously?"

"What do you mean, ‘seriously?'" She responded, hand on hip and dragging out the final word for emphasis.

While this still sounds like a rapid back and forth, it also reads as less repetitive without leaving a huge question as to who is speaking. Be cautious to not do this for too long without reminding the reader of who is speaking.

Finally, while I love varying word choice, don't rely too heavily on that. Using a different adverb each time to show the character's affect can be helpful. What's even better is when that isn't necessary because the character's action already conveyed that message.

 

Break up dialogue with actions.  Avoid talking heads. People move around and conversations are often broken up as people go in and out of rooms, fiddle with objects, and otherwise multitask.  This can also add realism as most communication is nonverbal, so just because one character asks a question verbally, doesn't mean another character won't respond nonverbally. To that end, if one character swears frequently, it doesn't mean an expletive needs to appear each time they speak. Swear words tend to ring in a reader's mind, so even using a few will give your reader the idea the character will swear a lot.

 

Remember to keep the dialogue personal. If the OG has a manner of speaking, Michael shouldn't suddenly speak the same way. The same goes for the language used in their thoughts.  This isn't just in their flow and rate of speech, but also their vocabulary.

 

Vary the length of lines of dialogue. If everyone speaks in brief phrases or everyone speaks in novel length pieces of dialogue, it all starts sounding like it is the same. Break it up and throw in some variety. It'll help your reader distinguish between personalities.

 

More Confused Words (and some that have been mentioned before but are very common)

Surly (grumpily) vs Surely (for sure)

You're (you are) vs Your (belonging to you)

Their (It belongs to them) vs They're (they are) vs There (a location)

Butted (interrupted) vs Budded (what shooted, germinated)

 

Chapter End Notes:

I don't know when I'll find time to coherently add to this. As always, let me know what I missed, what needs elaboration, and any questions you might have.

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