I’ve been a mess since Harry left. I just can’t seem to shake the sadness of not having him here. I missed him so much. For the longest time Harry had been all I had so it was very strange not having him around. I missed his sweet yet mischievous personality, his playful, cheeky comments, his voice that seemed to crack after every other syllable, his sly insults of my cooking, his beautiful green eyes and his bright dimpled smile. But most of all I just missed him. My apartment was much too quiet. There would be no more noises like Harry crashing through the front door and throwing his soccer bag aside. As much as that annoyed me before, I’d give anything to hear it again.
Jacob’s come over a lot more since Harry’s been gone. I enjoyed his company but I still felt sad. I think I’m beginning worry him because I’ve hardly wanted to leave the house. I tried to do as much work as possible from home and Jake and I spent most of our time together at home being lazy in bed. The last time I’d been depressed like this is when Leif left. I was more than certain that Jacob had told on me because Mother had been calling everyday to check on me. I always told her I was doing fine but my mother had been trained to see through my lies. She’d made lunch reservations at this elegant restaurant for she, Brooke and myself. I knew if I didn’t attend I’d be proof that I was lying to my mother so I dolled myself up and worked up an appetite.
“You look great Erin!” Mother exclaimed standing back to examine me. I smiled nervously, smoothing out my skirt. “I feel great. I know Jake probably told you otherwise but really I’m fine.” I lied. “Cute shoes.” Brooke complimented as she pulled me in for a brief hug. Something about it wasn’t quite genuine but I brushed it off. I took my seat at the table and Mother poured me a glass of water in the tall champagne glass. The table was beautifully decorated with a white table cloth and a vase of white roses in the center. Soft classical music played throughout the restaurant. The whole place seemed to brighten my mood a bit.
“So, how’s Harry liking London?” Mother asked. I sighed. Did she have to bring that up? “He seems to like it a lot. I talked to him a few days ago. Leif took him site seeing in the city once he got settled in.” I replied. Mother smiled.”That’s great.” She replied. Brooke seemed totally uninterested as she looked over the menu. “I really like your hair cut Brooke. It’s different.” I spoke hoping to start conversation with my distant little sister. Brooke glanced at me from the corner of her eye. “Thanks.” She replied dryly. It was pretty obvious that I wasn’t the only one with issues.
For the most part lunch was pretty quiet. Mother did most of the talking. She asked a lot of questions and I gladly answered them sometimes asking her questions of my own. I didn’t want her to suspect that I wasn't okay. Brooke on the other hand was not joining in on the conversation at all. She just sat there staring at the two of us while sipping her water.
“So Brooke, how are the girls, and Michael?” Mother asked picking up a mushroom cap off of her plate. Both Mother and Brooke had made me out to look like a big fat pig by ordering salads while I stuffed my face with Shrimp Alfredo and French bread. Brooke forked over the lettuce in her salad. “The girls are great. Michael I have no idea. Erin probably knows.” She replied with a roll of her eyes. I was confused.
I know Michael and Brooke were going through some hard times but he was technically still her husband right? And he was the father of her kids. How could she not know his whereabouts and what made me know?
“Well Erin, how’s Michael?” Mother asked. I shrugged before whipping the corners of my mouth with the napkin on my lap. “To be honest, I haven’t really talked to him in awhile.” I replied. The last time I’d talked to Michael was that night at the park when he’d kissed me. I was so down in the dumps I didn’t really want to talk to anyone right now.
“Listen Brooke, I’m really sorry things didn’t work out between you and Michael. You two were a beautiful couple.” Mother spoke placing her hand on top of Brooke’s. So that’s it! Michael and Brooke are officially divorced. That would explain why Michael wasn’t at dinner. Michael had told me they were planning on getting a divorce nearly five months ago. I guess now I was official.
Brooke blue eyes darkened. “It could have worked out. It would have worked out if it weren’t for certain people.” She replied glaring at me from the corner of her eye. Why did I feel like the product of her anger? A worried glance swept over Mother’s face. “Gee, I’m so sorry to hear that Brooke.” I spoke softly before popping a shrimp into my mouth. Brooke shot me the meanest glare her beautiful face could muster.
“Don’t sit there and act innocent Erin. You knew about this divorce the whole entire time. You’re the reason why Michael and I’s marriage is ruined!!” She shouted. What on earth is Brooke talking about? She had just completely disturbed the peaceful ambiance of this restaurant and people were beginning to stare. “Now Brooke, just because things are going great between Erin and Jacob doesn’t mean you need to start blaming Erin for your marital problems.” Mother replied. Did I miss something? When did I become the middle of all this??
“Mother she is the reason for my marital problems!! She slept with my husband!!!” She exclaimed standing up from the table. So that would explain Brooke’s attitude. Oh boy, Pandora’s Box has just been opened.
Mother gashed. “Erin, is this true?” She asked. I just wanted to die right there. There was only one person who could’ve told Brooke what had happened between us all those years ago. How could Michael throw me under the bus like that?? I thought it was supposed to be our little secret! “W-well, it’s not really a lie.” I stuttered. Mother put a hand to her chest in pure disbelief. Brooke folded her arms across her chest. “There you go Mother. Your sweet, eldest daughter is a home wrecker!!” She announced loudly. “It was one time Mother and we were both drunk. It didn’t mean anything!! And Michael and Brooke weren’t even married then, they were engaged!!” I shouted in my defense. Mother shook her head disapprovingly. “I’ve always knew you and Michael had a thing for each other but I never expected it’d go that far.” She replied. I could tell I would be double teamed.
“I don’t care if we were engaged or married!! We were still together and Michael was mine!! Mine! Not yours!! That gives you no right to sleep with him!! You weren’t married to Leif. If I’d slept with him would it be okay because you two weren’t married?!? And if I were to sleep with Jacob, it’d be okay because you’re not married, right?? Hell, maybe I will! He seems like he’d be pretty damn good in bed!” She shouted exasperatedly. I could do nothing but bury my face in my hands in frustration. God, this was too much to take.
“Brooke, I never said it was okay!! I didn’t mean to sleep with Michael. I regretted it then and I regret it now. I’m sorry okay!” I shouted standing up from my seat. I can guarantee we’d started quite the scene but I was beyond the point of embarrassed and I didn’t really care anymore. Brooke folded her arms across her chest. “You’re right Erin, you are sorry. You’re a whore with no morals! And you’re jealous of me! You’ve always been jealous of me. Jealous that I had a wonderful husband and kids and you had a bum boyfriend who didn’t even care to marry you and left you with an illegitimate child!!” She shot back. Now Brooke had just crossed the line. First she goes calling me a whore and a home wrecker and now she talks about my child. She’s certainly gone too far.
“You know Brooke, maybe you’re right. At one point in time I was jealous of you. Jealous that you were marrying the man that I loved for years, longer than you ever have. But I loved the both of you enough to push my feelings aside and let you be together. Maybe I am a whore but I’m certainly not is as selfish as you. You never told me that you were dating Michael until after you got engaged and you never once asked me how I felt about you twoi getting together considering the fact that he was my best friend! All you’ve ever cared about was Brooke and no one else. And so what if Leif didn’t marry me and left me with Harry. It’s made me a great mother and a much stronger woman than you’ll ever be.” I replied firmly. Brooke could say nothing she just stood there with her arms folded across her chest burning holes through my soul with her blue eyes.
“I’m through with you Erin. Have a nice life being Michael’s side piece. Jacob deserves much better than you.” She spoke while grabbing her purse and storming out of the restaurant. The words stung. I could feel tears beginning to pool in my eyes. I stared down at the white table cloth. Brooke had knocked over her glass of water and had hardly eaten any of her salad. “Mom, I-” I spoke turning to face my mom with tearful eyes. “I’m going to check on Brooke.” She replied quickly taking the napkin off her lap, grabbing her purse and exiting the restaurant in an attempt to find Brooke. I just sat there, dumbfounded and devastated. Mother and Brooke had left me with a broken heart and a hefty tab.
*******
Mother had planned lunch to make me feel better but after leaving the restaurant, I felt worse than I ever had before. It seemed that everyone I loved was turning their back on me. Michael had told our secret, Harry had left me, Brooke didn’t want anything to do with me anymore and my own Mother wouldn’t even listen to my side of the story. It looks like the only person I had left was Jake. But just imagine if he found out about all this. I bet he’d leave me too.
I decided to take the subway back to my place because I didn’t feel like going straight home. I just needed some time to be alone and have a good cry. I didn’t care who was looking I just let it all out.
It was late by the time I finally got home. I bet I looked a mess but I didn’t have the energy to even care. “Hi Babe.” Jacob greets me as I enter my apartment. I wasn’t lying when I said he comes over a lot more since Harry’s been gone. He practically lived there. He gives me a small smile as he looks up from his laptop which he’s most likely using to catch up on work. I kick off my shoes and sigh. “Hey.” I replied with a bit of enthusiasm. I didn’t want him to know everything that’d happened today.
“Are you hungry? I’ll make us dinner.” I spoke not really giving him time to respond. I quickly moved into the kitchen and grabbed a cutting board. I didn’t know what I was going to cook I just needed to keep myself busy. I’d found some potatoes and carrots in the refrigerator and figured I’d do something with them. I rinsed the vegetables off and quickly began cutting them. It felt almost therapeutic to cut those carrots.
“So, how was lunch with your mom and Brooke?” Jake asked. He’s now standing beside me staring down on me in account that he’s a tad bit taller than me. “Great.” I replied. No it wasn’t great, it was absolutely horrid. “Are you sure?” He asked. I glanced at him from the corner of my eye. “What you don’t believe me?” I questioned as I continued chopping carrots. “No, it’s not that I don’t believe you, it’s just you don’t seem convinced.” He replied. I sighed. “It was fine Jacob. Just like every other Mother-Daughter lunch.” I replied a bit sharply. Jake sighs running a hand through his hair. “Look Erin, if you need some time alone, I understand. I’ll just go back to my place for a while.” He replies. I didn’t want him to leave. God knows I didn’t. Everyone was leaving me. I felt the knife slip from my hand and cut into the flesh of my finger. Bright blood dripped onto the cutting board and a deep sob escaped my throat. Maybe it was the sting of the cut or the combination of sadness and pain I was feeling right now.
“Erin, are you alright?” Jacob asked concern highly evident in his voice. I just sobbed louder holding on to my cut finger. I turned to him and vigorously shook my head. Jake sighs and leaves the kitchen returning a few minutes later with a first aid kit. I sat on the counter as Jacob gently cleans my cut. The alcohol stung but the pain was nothing compared to the pain in my heart. “You’re really starting to worry me babe.” Jacob says softly. “I know you miss Harry but I promise you he’s coming back.” I said nothing. I just sobbed harder as he placed a band-aid around my finger. “Is there anything you want to tell me babe?” He asked. I wanted to tell him about what happened to today. About how bad I felt. But I couldn’t. I knew for sure it would ruin our relationship.
“Don’t leave me too.” I chocked out. Jacob stared at me with loving blue eyes. “Erin, I love you. I’d never leave you, no matter what.” He replied holding my wounded hand in his. He placed a gentle kiss on my bandaged finger. I caressed his handsome face with my good hand “I love you. Just stay. Don’t ever leave.” I declared tearfully. “I never will.” He whispered.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Hi readers!! Here's another chapter! I hope you all are still with me. After this chapter there may be a time lapse in the story. That also means it may take me a while to get the next chapter out but I won't make you wait forever. Also, Michael's POV maybe appearing again soon. I hope you enjoy and please don't forget to review!!
Chapter End Notes:
Thanks for reading and please review!!