Two weeks had gone by and the summer was officially over. The leaves began to change and Germany was even more exciting than when we first arrived.  But it seemed like as soon as I felt comfortable with being happy, the usual stress started to kick in. It was 3:00 am and my phone began to ring. I could hardly get my eyes open to answer it but I managed.

Me-“Hello?”

Dad-“Hey honey it’s your old man”

Me-“Hey dad what’s up? Checking to see if I’m coming for Thanksgiving?”

Dad-“No, uh I actually wanted to call you about your mom”

Me-“What about my mom?”

Dad-“I hate to bring this back into your life honey I really do. But they’ve caught a man who they believe is the killer and they want you to identify him.”

Me-“…………………..I can’t”

Dad-“I know it’s a lot on you but I think you should do it. Don’t you want to bring this man to justice?”

Me-“You know I do…..but I can’t go through this again, I’m finally getting over it.”
Dad-“It’s your choice honey, but I hope you choose right. They want you to come in two days.”

Me-“…………………I’m leaving tomorrow”

I hung the phone up and sighed heavily. I fought back tears clenching my jaw. It was so frustrating, I finally put this all behind me and now I have to travel back to my old town. I shook Michael softly and he didn’t respond. I started to shake him harder and he popped up. “What’s wrong?” He asked sitting up. “I have to go back to my home town. My dad called me and told me that the police think they’ve found my mom’s killer. I have to identify him.” I said all in one breath, still taking it in myself. “Wait you have to go home?” He asked a bit confused. “Yea” I said getting out of bed and grabbing my suitcase to pack. “I’m sorry about this mess Margret” he said in a soft tone. “Tell your father that I send my regards” when he said this I stopped in my tracks and looked up at him confused. “What do you mean by sending your regards? You don’t plan on coming with me?” I asked getting a bit irritated. “I can’t leave now Margret, I’m almost done with my painting and I-“I cut him off immediately. “Excuse me? Michael I need you to be with me right now ok who gives a damn about the painting?” I asked raising my voice now completely irritated. “I care. As bad as I want to go I simply can’t, I think you can manage on your own you’re a big girl” when he said this I felt as if I would kill him. “Fuck you” I simply said getting the rest of my luggage. “I understand that you’re angry and I didn’t mean to sound like an ass. You have to understand that I have to do this.” Michael said getting up from the bed. “No Michael what I understand is that you’re never there when it counts. But thank you for reminding me of what a real jerk you are. This thing that we had going is over for good.” I said continuing to pack my stuff. “Are you seriously going to break up with me because I won’t just drop everything and leave?” Michael asked in an irritated tone. I didn’t respond I just simply packed my stuff. There was really no reason to go back and forth.

When I landed in Delaware, my heart fluttered wildly. I couldn’t take the pressure anymore; it was too much for me. “Hey daddy” I said as I approached him in the airport parking lot. He squeezed me tightly and pulled back to look at me. “How you feeling honey?” My dad asked not letting me go. “I’ve seen better days dad” I responded while pulling back from our hug. Nicole was waiting in the car smiling softly. I got into the car and she quickly turned around. “Hi Yahara it’s so nice to see you again” she said in a soft tone. “I wish we could’ve seen each other in different circumstances, but it’s always a pleasure.” I responded cracking a small smirk. We drove for a while and my dad looked at me through the rear view mirror every five seconds. “Where did all that grey hair come from?” I asked running my hands threw his hair jokingly. I never liked when my father worried about me. “Yea I guess I’m getting up there, I am 26 years old” he said which made me giggle. “You’re twenty years off dad” I reminded him while sitting back. “That’s crazy talk” he said waving me off. My father always knew how to make me feel better. We arrived at the hotel around 10:00 that night. The flight was extremely long and I was extremely tired. “Try to get some sleep kid” my dad said as I closed my hotel room’s door. The first thing I thought to do was to call Gigi.

Gigi-“Hello, Gigi speaking”

Me-“Hey Gigi….I hate my life”

Gigi-“Why, what happened?”

Me-“ I had to leave my trip early. My dad called me and told me that the police might have found my mother’s killer”

Gigi-“That’s tough, sorry Yoyo”

Me-“Yea but that’s not the worst. Michael chose to stay in Germany to work on his stupid painting. We had a big fight and I broke up with him.”

Gigi-“That asshole”

Me-“Yep, finally we agree on something”

Gigi-“But then again you guys do belong together. Is this final?”

Me-“Yea it is. I can’t deal with his selfishness.”

Gigi-“When do you have to go into the police office?”

Me-“Tomorrow morning”

Gigi-“Well you’ll need some sleep hun; don’t let me keep you up”

Me-“K goodnight”

Gigi-“Nighty, good luck”

The next morning I was awaken by knocks at my door. “It’s time to go honey” I heard my dad call from behind it. I looked over at the clock that read 6:00 am and immediately got irritated. I took a shower and decided not to really dress up. I wore a white T-Shirt with a zip up jacket over it. I wore some stone wash skinny jeans with some chucks. “You ready?” My dad asked waiting outside of my door. “Yea I kind of just want to get this entire thing over with.” I responded while zipping up my jacket. We walked out to the car and I felt really sick. My nerves were going insane and my stomach was turning in knots. We arrived at the police station and everyone stared at me. Everything seemed to be going in slow motion. I looked down at the floor as I walked through the office of staring eyes. “Ms. Haul we’re so happy that you came down to identify the suspect.” A man said shaking my hand which caught me off guard. “Anything to help” I said softly feeling a bit dizzy. We entered a room that had a window that stood in front of us. They brought the man in and everything became a blur.

I came home from another crucial day of school. Today wasn’t as bad as most but that didn’t mean that it was good either. Brittney, a popular girl in my class, teased me for not having a boyfriend and got everyone to chant “ugly duckling”. But I knew that my mother could make all of the pain go away. She always knew exactly what to say and I really needed her comfort. I walked into the house and something didn’t feel right. It was extremely cold and I noticed the back porch window busted in. My heart began to race as I heard a crash come from up stairs. As I ran up the stairs I could hear yelling and things being thrown. I ran to my parent’s room only to be too late. There he stood hovering over my mother as she lay on the ground unconscious. He stood there with the murder weapon in his right hand and as I gasped he looked back at me with an evil smile stretched across his face. Tears started to stream down my face and he pushed me out of his ways and ran down the stairs. I fell on the floor only to feel dampness under my thy. The red substance turned sticky on my skin, and I never got over that moment.

“Are you ok Ms.?” The detective asked me snapping me out of my thoughts. “Uh yea I’m fine” I responded lying not only to him but myself as well. “Is it him, is it the murderer?” My father asked looking at me with concerned eyes. “Yes, it’s him” I said looking him directly in the eyes remembering how he smiled at me.

I walked out of the room quickly. My dad followed close behind but didn’t say anything. We got halfway to the processing room when my father stopped me in my tracks. “I have a feeling that something else is upsetting you” he said grabbing by the arm. I looked back at him and said, “well I did break up with Michael.” He softly smiled and said, “what’s new?” I rolled my eyes, but I couldn’t help but smile a bit. “Look honey if you haven’t realized by now that no relationship is ever perfect I don’t think you’ll ever figure it out. I’ve never been fond of Michael, but I am fond of the smile on your face when you’re with him. I think that you two belong together, I honestly do. Try not to be so quick to completely cut him off. You haven’t done it with any other guys you’ve dated, and they’ve mistreated you far worst.” What he was saying was true but of course I didn’t want the truth. We started to walk back to the office, but were stopped by the detective. “I’m sorry to disturb you once more but we have one more request. Mr. Glint would request to speak to you. He said that he would confess if he could just speak to you.” I shook my head no immediately, but my father thought I should do it. “It could be closure for you” my father simply said while pushing me towards the detective. “Why does he want to speak to me?” I asked not knowing how to take this information. “We don’t know but if it will close this case easily, we’d rather a confession.” It all felt like a dream. It was bad enough that I felt dizzy but to face him was difficult. What did he have to say to me? Was it some kind of closure for him? None of this mad since to me.

I walked into the investigating room and there he sat on the other side of the table. He stared at me with empty eyes that showed no emotion. I slowly sat down infront of him making sure not to stare him in the eyes. “Wow you’ve really grown up” he said in a raspy voice. I didn’t know whether or not he was trying to lighten the mood but it wasn’t working. “I guess you’re wondering why I’d want to speak with you. You probably hate me for what I did” he said this staring me straight into my eyes. I glanced up at him and we stared at one another for a while. “I don’t hate anybody” I said in almost a whisper. “What do you want?” I asked trying to figure out the point of this meeting. “I wanted to apologize for what happened to you” he said as his voice began to crackle. “I honestly don’t give to shits whether you’re sorry or not. It doesn’t bring my mother back alive now does it?” I asked coldly while staring at him with eyes of fire. “No it doesn’t. I’ve done some really bad things in my life. But recently I’ve realized that what I did to your mother was the worst thing I’ve ever done. I believe in second chances, and I figured if I turned myself in maybe I’d be given a second chance.” I stayed silent and let him talk. Even though what he was saying helped for closure, it didn’t make what happened go away. “I just have to ask you for myself. Why did you do it?” It was a question that I’ve wanted to be answered for so many years. “Honey, I wish I could tell you. But I want you to only hold good ideas of your mother. Keep the good memories of your mother close, because after all that’s all that matters.” I was completely confused by this. What was he talking about? “I’m ready to go!” He yelled to the window giving me know I contact. “What don’t you want me to know about my mother, I deserve to know” I said between his screams. “I did it ok I’m ready to go!” He yelled once more ignoring my questions. The police came into the room and began to take him out. I called behind them but they soon disappeared down the hallway. What the hell was that?