Spin. Spin. Spin. Head up. Hands down. Squat. Turn. Hands. Stomp. Strut. Turn. Pose. I looked into the camera that was filming my every move. I had decided to film myself to make sure I was executing the routine properly. So far, it wasn't going so well...

These simple steps to fulfilling my dance routine were starting to defeat me. I couldn't do some of the easiest steps in dancing! Focus. Focus. Concentrate. You can do this. 

I took a deep breath and replayed the beat of Michael Jackson's "Bad." As I started to spin, I fell onto my hands instead of landing steadily on my feet. I breathed heavily as I collapsed onto the floor. 

I slowly stood up and drank some water. I stopped the camera and shook my head. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that I only had 1 more day to practice my horrific dancing. 

I reached for my camera and played back the video. I widened my eyes and I saw myself fall down numerous times, but also saw myself get up over and over again. Wow, I'm really bad. I chuckled to myself. But, I DO have perserverance. I can do this. I can actually do this, if I really wanna. 

I stood up and spun around, this time landing on my feet. 

I had a real chance in landing this audition. I had hope. 

-----------------------------------

After hours of practicing, I began to question myself. What am I doing? I'm not being myself. In the beginning, I totally bashed Bethany by chastising her for telling me to practice. Now, look at me. 

I'm supposed to feel the music. Not choreograph everything step by step. Ughhh...

I really didn't know how to take the audition "head on." Do I choreograph or feel the music? Frustrated, I reached for the phone to ask Bethany for advice. But then I stopped myself, for I knew she didn’t know the first thing about dancing.

Once, I was walking in the mall with her, and her favorite Michael Jackson song at that time, “Billie Jean,” came on. She dropped everything and started to dance. I remember seeing the horror in the spectators’ faces. Everyone looked away as Beth failed to execute the moonwalk properly and just well, failed at every other dance move. In fact, now that I’m thinking about it, I recall that a child started crying at the sight of her dancing horribly. Of course, at that moment, I disappeared into the crowd as discreetly as possible.

I giggled as I thought about it.

Anyway, I focused my thoughts back on the issue at hand. My strategy for dancing. I was sooooo lost. I wonder how Jeff was doing his audition. Should I call him and ask? NO, he’s a jerk. ..

It seemed like I didn’t know what to do anymore.  I wasn’t sure about anything.

Well, except for one thing.

I knew , absolutely 100%, that I was nervous and scared of this audition.

I then decided to just figure it out at the audition. I would just practice basic steps, and go from there.

Ring! Ring! Ring! I glanced at my phone. Jeff.

Oh no. What now?