Date: Sep 24, 2015 04:45 pm Title: Pumpkin Spice Sedatives
Cory, can I just hug you from beyond the web? God, I feel you with my whole heart. Let me tell you something.... you are never beyond anything, you are never too far gone from anything. Not until you breathe your last, you hear me?
Author's Response:
Yes! *virtual hugs* Thank you! <3
Date: Sep 20, 2015 09:27 pm Title: No one like Mike - Seven Reasons Michael Rocks My World
Awww, that's nice of u 2 say, it's unique how u put it. I'm glad u like the story so far, and that's great u like Michelle, she's bold in a lot of ways, and his wife has no idea how she feels but she's going 2 find out sooner than she thinks. Mj wasn't even thinking about her, he was trying 2 get it on with his wife in the bathroom! I had 2 watch a lot of movies and books in order 2 develope and create Michelle as well as her personality. I changed his wife's name @1st her name was Juliet but I thought about it and I came up with the name Linaya and I think it sounds beautiful. I know u like Michelle and 2 answer ur question, no, it's not wrong that u wanted her 2 win, I think in a way it's a challenge 4 me as a writer who identities emotionally and mentally with the story, so I know what u mean. What do u like best about the story? I will update asap...hope 2 hear from u soon
Author's Response:
I like how you illustrate Michelle's personality. Idk, I guess I just love crazy people lol. What movies and books? They must be interesting. Linaya is a beautiful name. His wife is cool too. I wish he had a sweet, loving person like her to take care of him irl. :( It's going to get very interesting when she finds out.
Date: Sep 20, 2015 01:35 pm Title: No one like Mike - Seven Reasons Michael Rocks My World
Awww!! I didn't know u had my story listed as 1 of ur favs, I feel so special! Once again, I didn't think any 1 liked my story, I'm shocked! Glad ur enjoying it means a lot 2 me that ppl enjoy my work.
Author's Response:
I love your story honey, it's very creative. I adore your crazy stalker. She is a fascinating character. I think of Michelle and Linaya as two sides of an MJ fangirl. Kind of metaphorical, like. The sweet, loving wife type and on the other side of the coin is someone darkly obsessed. Light and dark side of love - if you will.
Date: Sep 19, 2015 11:05 pm Title: No one like Mike - Seven Reasons Michael Rocks My World
Ikr, but I guess we don't know what happens behind closed doors and we're just on the outside looking in, I've read a lot of things about their relationship, what did u think about that kiss? Or the music video? If I had been in her shoes, every chance I got I would have been all over him, especially in his hair. I'm just saying....
Author's Response:
Ikr, I'm obsessed with his hair, fake or real, I don't even care lol!
You mean the music video awards kiss? I thought I had heard that she didn't want to go out there in front of all those people. That she wasn't into attention like that, which I could kind of believe because, for a celebrity, she's relatively quiet and private, and she seems to only talk when it's necessary. Also she was mad at him for being gone for a while and that was the first time she had seen him in a while. She said she squeezed his hand really hard. I KNEW I saw him blinking back pain. I could tell he was in some kind of pain and that totally explained it.
The YANA video - omg, you should have seen my face the first time I saw that. His body, all that skin! O. M. G. Lmfao!
[Report This]Date: Sep 19, 2015 07:22 am Title: No one like Mike - Seven Reasons Michael Rocks My World
That makes sense and I like how u worded it and u r right about mj he was compassionate and loving and really actually cared about ppl and what kinds of problems In the world and figure out how 2 deal with them, he was always talking about love, "that's what the world needs 2 day, more love". What I don't understand is why was he even divorced in the first place, I'm still trying 2 figure that out lol. I know I can't aassume anything cuz I wasn't there but I don't get it, this is michael jackson we're talking about here! Come on! If u have a man who's a good man, who's loves kids, sensitive, loving, caring and compassionate and on top of that he's rich but he is not self centered at all. I'm just saying, if u know u have a good man, y not hold on 2 him? Can u answer this question if u don't mind, maybe I'm missing something...
Author's Response:
I've read that Michael had a habit of neglecting her. He would stay away for weeks on end, cuz he needed space or whatever. She didn’t like that. I wouldn't imagine that a wife would like that. Then again, he wanted her to have his babies, so I've read, and she was hesitant, and Michael didn't like that. But really. Who knows?
Date: Sep 18, 2015 04:12 pm Title: No one like Mike - Seven Reasons Michael Rocks My World
Wow, thanks so much! I needed 2 hear that. I love u 4 understanding me emotionally and mentally. Glad 2 hear ur ok that's the imprtant thing I'm concerned about. I think a lot of fans use this site 2 live out their fantasies/relationships in a way so I don't blame them cuz I'm 1 of them so I agree with what ur saying. Tell me more about how u coped with losing mj if u don't mind my asking? If it's 2 difficult 4 u 2 talk about u don't have 2. Hope 2 hear from u soon!
Author's Response:
If I had to guess what MJ believed his own life's purpose was, I would say he wanted to "put love back into the world." I'm not a saint or anything, but his words are really important to me. That’s why I worked with the disabled, the mentally ill, and children with emotional and behavioral challenges. I'm not a fan of "tough love", I'm more about patience and understanding. So I think that's one of the good ways that I cope with it. Michael's spirit was kindness and compassion, so I think that if people try to cultivate that in the world as much as possible, then in a way, it's like he's still around. I don't know. I mean, that's one of the good ways, and I try my best. I'm definitely not perfect. The pill habit isn't really coping, that's more like running and hiding. It is what it is. :/
Date: Sep 18, 2015 09:39 am Title: I wasn't trying to upset anyone
Thanks 4 ur undestanding I'm so glad u understand me and don't think I'm overly dramatic cuz I had ppl tell me how I'm silly 4 loving some 1 I never met. Hope 2 hear from u soon. How u been?
Author's Response:
It's all good love. I gotta figure that there are many people who fell in love with someone they never met. Millions in fact. Many people on this site live out their their romantic fantasies about MJ. And there are quite a few people on this site. People always have opinions, you don't need to let them tell you how to feel. As long as you're not hurting anyone, it's fine. :)
[Report This]Date: Sep 18, 2015 02:00 am Title: If one single problem in your life could just FO . . .
Woman... you ARE interesting. Haha *totally not creepy*.
Even though I know nothing about you, I'd like to butt in and say some things. First of all would be that - believe in yourself. I'm socially awkward, and people have to just drag me across the room just to meet one person.
Never think you're a failure. Think about the achievements you did till now. Heck, even surviving takes a great deal of skill, you know? Perhaps you haven't done everything you wished to do. File them, and continue onwards to do it later.
Please... don't commit suicide. Living is the truth. There is only one life we've got, and we've to survive till we are old and gray. You have your own place in the Earth to make a difference.
And if you died today, there would be no tomorrow.
*Brohugs* Wish you the best, ne, Cory-san? (I'm a big weeaboo - can I call you that? Or Onee-san? :DD )
Author's Response:
Thank you yutsu - yutsu-san? :) You can call me that, it's all good. You're right, basic survival is a noble fight!
One day at a time, serenity, gratitude and all that :)
And thank you for calling me interesting, I take that as a great compliment <3
Date: Sep 17, 2015 06:59 pm Title: I wasn't trying to upset anyone
You haven't been taken out of context and no one is upset. It's just that it's hard to know what actually went on unless you were involved. You know my email and you are always welcome to feel out a situation if you aren't sure :)
Author's Response:
Thank you.
Date: Sep 17, 2015 06:28 pm Title: I wasn't trying to upset anyone
No worries, Corybante. Thanks for deleting the chapter.
:)
Author's Response:
Thank you for your patience 😟
Date: Sep 17, 2015 03:42 pm Title: The Anatomy of Mikegasm - Seven oddly sensual pics
The first: YUSSS LAWD. So lean and yet so many and strong. I know he for manhandled somebody with those arms at one point. Shooooo, he could manhandle with those limbs anytime.
The second: Gawd you're so right, that whole video was nothing but hot steaming ass sex appeal. My question was how he managed to switch so quick from running around with those kids to making women's waters flow. He is a card.
I've watched the 1995 mtv awards performance more times than I'd like to admit. I hate to seem like I'm pure focused on his fine ass and nothing more, but the way that body was looking. So full and healthy. Mmmmmm. Lisa really failed. She took an a CAPITAL L on the real. '
Author's Response:
Every part of him was a genius I guess, lol. Lisa - I don't know . . .sometimes I feel like more often than not, it takes two people to eff up a marriage. In my opinion. But who knows? I've heard that she complained about him leaving all the time and trusting scumbags over her, and he complained that she kept making him jealous with her ex hudband. At least that's what I've read. *shrugs*
He has always looked good to me, fuller, skinny, light, dark, whatever. I'm not picky lol. True about the MTV awards, definitely :)
[Report This]Date: Sep 14, 2015 08:00 pm Title: If one single problem in your life could just FO . . .
Hey there love!! Great 2 hear from u! It took me a long time 2 get 2 where I am with myself emotionally and mentally. I used 2 drink a lot and take a lot if pills 2 numb my pain from losing mj and no I still haven't healed from losing him and i don't think it will go away anytime soon. I still have my days when I can't handle looking at him sometimes and some days I can. I know I sound dramatic but it's just how I feel. I still can't talk 2 anyone as far as therapy goes I don't think anyone will understand my situation as well as u do honey. I'm glad ur not giving me judgement, cuz I wouldn't give u judgement so I understand how u feel. How r u doing so far? I hope ur doing ok baby girl. Hope 2 talk 2 u soon honey.
Author's Response:
Thanks lifemate! Nice to see you. This week is a bad one, but I guess that's normal. You know how it goes. I see a substance abuse councilor, I take my meds, but sometimes I can't follow the twelve steps. Sometimes I just fall down them and land on my ass 😂
"Judge not, lest ye be judged yourself" - words I try to live by. You can email me if you like :)
magenta11327@yahoo.com
Date: Sep 07, 2015 03:10 pm Title: No one like Mike - Seven Reasons Michael Rocks My World
I think Mj fans look 2 him 4 different reasons and it depend on what they are going thru in their lives. 4 me he was and still is an outlet 4 what I'm going thru on a daily basis. What made u turn 2 pills anyway if u don't mind me asking, I know it's a personal question. When Mj passed I started drinking heavily and taking pills. To get over My grief of him, that's what I did 2 get rid of the pain emotionally. Even though I never met him, I still loved him and grieved over him like he was my husband and I still grieve over him and I know I'm not the only 1. It took me a long time 2 tell my story but I'm glad I did. When I found Mj passed i took it really hard. It feel like I have a hole in my chest and the edges around it bleed and throb each day I don't have him living on the same earth as me. I know I sound selfish but it's just how I feel inside and haven't been the same since. I cried a lot when he passed, went 2 sleep crying, woke up crook and I still cry. I know I sound dramatic but it's true in every way. I even took my pics down I had him everywhere in my room and I still haven't put him back up, I'm going thru something with my pics. It got so bad 2 where i couldn't watch him 4 a longtime, I just couldn't deal with it at 1 point. I didn't mean 2 tell u all this I know it's long but I'm just having a hard time grieving over Mj. The only person who brought me out of that was God himself w/out him idol where I would b true story.hope 2 hear from u soon😉
Author's Response:
It's okay, I totally understand. I took it really hard too. I couldn't talk to anyone either cuz they would just judge or laugh. And for me it's it's like it fluctuates from a sharp, stabbing grief to a dull ache of biterness and resentment - especially cuz it didn’t need to happen that way. People are evil. Murray should burn in Hell, and I don't say that lightly. Yeah, Michael had a drug problem and was responsible for the addiction part of it, but the fact that no one helped, they just enabled and exploited him - yeah, I hate people sometimes. I'm working with a psychologist on my own drug and depression issues, and lately he's starting to help me make sense or come to terms with death and stuff. Have you tried talking to someone? It might help take some of the edge off the grief.
I feel like I've always had addiction issues. There's a lot of drug addicts in my family and I've been using since I was 15. I was in an accident and really injured and that's when I found out that opiate painkillers kill all varieties of pain. At least for a little while. Drugs give you a few hours of relief, but they'll never help you get over stuff though. That’s why I'm trying harder lately with the therapy thing. Also hobbies help - like writing :)
Date: Sep 07, 2015 01:33 pm Title: If one single problem in your life could just FO . . .
2 answer ur question it would b my physical pain and where I am in life right now. 1 thing about emotional abuse and mental abuse is it has an affect on u, trust me I know. I live with it on a daily basis and it is not easy 4 me 2 confident but God is the only 1 who gets credit where it is due, he's the only reason how I'm making it everyday. Ur going 2 b ok honey, ur going 2 make it. I just had brain surgery just 3 was ago and I'm here 2 talk 2 u and tell u that u can make it thru anything life throws at u. Ur a strong, beautiful woman don't let no one tell u different and don't let no one bring u down cuz they are not 4 u.
Author's Response:
Thank you luv, that means a lot <3 I'm sorry to hear that you have chronic pain too :( It sucks. And emotional abuse does seem even worse in a weird way. I know what you mean. I started taking Vicodin gor psin really young. Things spiraled out of control, you know - the usual drug story. But if I could change anything, I would just want to finally be able to be the girl who can look people in the eye without shame and anxiety. I appreciate the encouragement. One thing I love about most mj girls is that they know the value of kindness and compassion.
The embodiment of kindness, mercy and compassion, that's what Michael was I think. But then again, I tend to elevate him to a saint like figure in my mind, lol.
Date: Sep 07, 2015 01:25 pm Title: No one like Mike - Seven Reasons Michael Rocks My World
Thanks 4 listening, means a lot that u dont judge me 4 loving him so intensely and dangerously idk what it is about him, I'm just addicted 2 him. How I came 2 love him so much I honestly don know but I do and I never met him and I love him dearly. I just listened 2 his music and I just couldn't stop dancing 2 him. 😍 I thought I knew him but he surprised me by his talent and just when I thought I knew him he shocked me! Idk where 2 begin what it felt like I lost him...it's a long story and u probably might think I'm dramatic but if ur interested I will tell u. Hope 2 hear don u soon. How did u become an Mj fan anyway? It took me a long time 2 talk about Mj but his death is 2 much 4 me but if u want I will tell u
Author's Response:
I'm here to listen, it's all good. I won't judge. If you want to tell me more, it's cool :) A lot of people judged me about my obsessive fangirling, but they're opinion doesn't matter. Almost everyone finds someone to love and admire in their lifetime, weather it's a neighbor they see everyday or a celebrity they'll never meet. Doesn't really matter. Michael's my star. I look up into the sky and I can't help but feel that his spirit is still around. Like a year ago on his death anniversary I wrote on fb something about him with a drawing I did. Something about him being like lightening and like the light of a halo that has not faded just yet (something all poetic like that, I can't remember). Then later that night I was driving around and there was a lightening storm like I had never seen before in my life, I swear. Never. Wierd, huh?
I became a fan when I was 11. My fanfic is pretty much true to life in the beginning, to be purely, staggeringly honest, lol. The first song I ever heard from him was Who Is It (that I can remember). It was was weird and hypnotic for me and it always matched my somber mood. It gave me cool visuals, like it was meditative, Idk - hard to explain. Then I saw the Oprah interview when my aunt let me watch it in secret. Then understanding his personality and feeling a strange mind connection, (even thoug he was the biggest star in the world and I was just some kid, lol) also hard to explain. Being deathly afraid of one's father. Just wanting to beloved above all else. His compassion and humanity, I found impressive. I remember telling people I loved him because he was the most generous, caring person like - ever. Still seems that way to me, you know? :)