Date: Feb 01, 2015 11:05 pm Title: Chapter 8
Woah. Every single chapter has me asking myself "Are you really prepared for this???" This is some heavy stuff here.
The pregnancy bombshell. Miscarriage. Cutting....
But so, so, so well written. So tactfully done. Not too grotesque, but just sharp enough to help us imagine the pain...really nice work.
I adore seeing Michael interat with Casey#1 (although I've got to say that them havign the same names is kind of throwing me off, haha) it's something so, so refreshing and good.
Where's Malania?????
Date: Feb 01, 2015 10:53 pm Title: Chapter 7
Woah. This was a dark one. Somehow you managed to take some dark shit and crank it up even more.
Okay, well starting from the beginning, I've got to say that your characterization of Elizabeth was just spot on. Nice job!
The suicidal toughts/cutting was very jarring for me, but I guess non too surprising given the context. I can't ever imagine Michael doing something like that though...ugh, how horribly sad...more than sad, really. More than words.
The crying in the meeting? Dang.
You got this. Keep it coming.
Date: Feb 01, 2015 10:31 pm Title: Chapter 6
*slow clap*
In one chapter you've managed to make me both adore and hate Diane. CHRIST! I'm only like, what, 6 chapters in? And I'm already this invested??
The scenes with Michael playing family...comforting little Casey...they were almost too much. So, so wonderful. I'm DYING to figure out what's happened to make Diane do this!!!!!!!!
I'm excited to learn more about Malania's background. Right now all we now is that she loves MJ and studied art. What's up with her?!?
Author's Response:
I hate Diane. She is not redeeming for me. At least that's what I was trying for... but here we are... hahaha.
Date: Feb 01, 2015 10:17 pm Title: Chapter 5
I like the comparison of the deeper vs shallower ends of the MJ fandom...I've definitely had interactions with some very...interesting fans, especially lately. I like the juxtaposition of the two.
Also, I never really understood how the megafans were able to follow him around like they did, so thanks for kind of adding something in about that! Damn, if I'd been older than a toddler during the tours days...shit I would've worked and worked and worked and taken a gap year like Malania! That's so bomb!!
Author's Response:
They saved up every single dollar they earned ;)
Date: Feb 01, 2015 10:03 pm Title: Chapter 4
I love the realistic qualities this fic has: the walking employees, the panic attacks, vomting, etc...it's very well written and thought out.
i'm interested to see how things develop between Malania and Michael and how quickly...will we get more backstory on Casey and Diana, I wonder?? I guess I should just keep reading haha...
Date: Feb 01, 2015 09:53 pm Title: Chapter 3
I can't. I'm obsessed.
This is wonderful! Michael's inner dialogue is so on point, it's crazy. God!
I love "different" stories--the ones that don't just focus in on sex and leave it at that. This is so, so great, thank you so much!
Author's Response:
I always like creating a story, not just a soft core porn novella ;)
Date: Feb 01, 2015 09:42 pm Title: Chapter 2
Shit, shit, shit, shit! I'm hooked, man! Omg!
Author's Response:
LOL! you're awesome.
Date: Feb 01, 2015 09:35 pm Title: Chapter 1
i'm just starting now, so I'm sure this will all be clear in the next few chapters...but is this sort of an AU timeline? With the allegations coming during Bad instead of Dangerous? Interesting!
I like your writing style so far, especially the praying part. Really, really good! I'll keep reading!
Author's Response:
Thanks @WonderfulTonight, sorry man, I'm not sure what "AU" means, Im not down with the FF lingo yet! (Yet, I use the abbrieviation of FF lol)
Yeah its kind of like a suspension of reality to a degree, this would be somewhere around the bad tour, I think 1988, I worked it out to be in my head because Michael is about 28 or 29, something similar
Thanks for your kindness :)
Date: Jan 31, 2015 08:53 pm Title: Chapter 12
I just read the whole story. You convey Michael and Malania's emotions so well. I even got teary-eyed several points. Overall, this story is a gem; please keep going!
Author's Response:
Thanks lovely! I have a bunch more chapters to post! Just getting the time to do that!
[Report This]Date: Jan 31, 2015 02:25 pm Title: Chapter 12
Have I mentioned lately how much I love this story? I think my main gripe about a lot of stories is how superficial things remain; how somehow deep feelings arise and a strong connection occurs, but the dialogue never (or rarely) seems to dip below the surface. I say that not to criticize other stories, but to emphasize one of the ways in which this story stands out. Here you have a plot which is set below the surface. The topic matter is dark and the lead characters are dealing with heavier emotions, but they both contain a lightness that keeps the story from getting depressing. Michael, with his generosity and thoughtfulness, and Malania, with her honesty and loyalty.
Her dad's guilting her after her joke was....perfect.
Funny how he was worried about someone doing that to me at this stage of my life.
A hint!
I can't wait to see how she approaches her gift and how he responds!
[Report This]Date: Jan 31, 2015 02:24 pm Title: Chapter 11
I seriously laughed when Michael gave her the painting. I bet she looked like a burglar when she left his house. I like the subtle exchanges between the two as they spy eachother's scars. You now have me more curious about Malania's background and the circumstances leading to her cutting "too deep". There are so many ways that you can go with that. Though, I'm particularly drawn to the fact that she didn't want her brothers visiting her. Hearing that sets off a bunch of hypotheses in my mind.
a) Sexual abuse by a brother?
b) verbal/emotional abuse by a brother(s)?
c) them simply not being "safe" figures for her
I'm also curious as to the timing of her hospitalization....her father also sure took that calmer than most parents, regardless of their cultural background. Is her dad a pilot? Then, that would make sense.
Oh, and I love mystery boxes.
Can't wait until her next visit to Hayvenhurst!
[Report This]Date: Jan 31, 2015 02:24 pm Title: Chapter 10
I love how welcoming you have Michael being, as it isn't exactly how I would have written it. It's like a shade off, which makes it that much more enjoyable to read as I can't completely predict how things are going to go, yet it is still believable to me.
I liked the dance around their siblings and how she kind of bit into him with the diatribe about his brothers. It kept things real.... as with the food parenting, his (not so) subtle switch in topic, and the revealing of her wrist. Cutting, particularly amongst adolescents, isn't that uncommon. Most stats show that adults self-injure dramatically less often, but if that is true, I tend to think it is just because of turning to different ways of harming themselves....
Ooh. I'm so glad he pressed the point about her brother. I wonder if he will let her go home or insist that she stay? On the one hand, it could be dangerous for her to go home...at the same time, I don't know how he will explain her presence to his parents. Also, given the rage her brother had about Malania being associated with Michael, I have to wonder what his next step attempt to hurt her will involve. After all, I doubt she was so quick in moving her car that no one ran her license plate or found out her address....
[Report This]Date: Jan 31, 2015 02:23 pm Title: Chapter 9
Wha?! Why'd she say she met Jermaine? I'd be like "A security guard took pity on me and let me in; I spent the night in the guest house with an old tv". Questions about Michael would be met with "I saw him; I was so tired that it feels like a dream."
Seriously, though, after Beth ditching her and Malania now lying to Beth, I can't see this friendship as lasting in any genuine sense of the term.
“if it helps, I didn’t sleep very well because I was worried, I was back there at 5 this morning and when you weren’t there I was scared something had happened to you.”
If Malania hadn't gotten in, I'd be really pissed by that line. I'm so glad you returned to her. I was about ready to pelt you with tomatoes via the interwebz.
Woah. Her brother came out of no where. I'm so glad she took action and went to the police. I imagine this will turn into an interesting subplot as the story unfolds more. I love how you infused her culture into the narrative, having her bring edible gifts to Michael and his family, as well as items of the era (rocking the Walkman!). Not to mention, the little details, such as pulling her car into the driveway. So often authors jump from scene to scene, which while entertaining, limits my ability to really marinade in the scene and my imagination to color the scenery. Those details are truly appreciated!
I can't wait for the next chapter!
[Report This]Date: Jan 31, 2015 02:22 pm Title: Chapter 8
That's all I can really say about that at this point. After three months? That's not so common, though it does happen. I'm glad he's moving into anger. Stages of grief, right?
Oh, and...
Where is Malania?
[Report This]Date: Jan 31, 2015 02:20 pm Title: Chapter 7
What a heavy chapter. So I guess there is some good that came out of Casey & Diane's presence. At the same time, I would have hoped that someone else would have stepped in. Putting all of one's faith in life into two people is....a lot of two people to hold. The isolation......
I haven't forgotten about the uncertainty of a Malania/Michael romance. :heh:
Thank you for another great chapter