Reviewer: jazii Signed [Report This]
Date: Feb 08, 2015 06:59 pm Title: Looking Back And Moving Forward

Oh my word, Menen, I finished this whole story in one go last night and now I want more, more, more. I had to stop reviewing as I went cause I switched from PC to phone and its harder to review there, but I'm gonna punch in my reactions to all the following chapters because you deserve it and I LOOOOOVE THIS SO MUCH!!! You have no idea how happy it makes me to see oldies on here, it gives me new hope and inspiration for fanfiction and to start writing mine again. Stay awhile now, won't you, love? :)




And take care of him she will, huh. :) I liked how Michael got all insecure for an instant with Marley, but I don't agree with her seeing the officer in person to explain. She doesn't owe him anything in that regard, he is simply an officer doing a job for her who almost became a little bit more. By going to have LUNCH (basically a date) with him just to shut it down is unnecessary, maybe a little insult to injury for him, and just opening herself up to unwanted opportunities.

But I am glad that she is, at least, upfront on everything with Michael. (I'm not doubting her either - I love Marley (and that you chose YaYa for her!), but I question if her actions indicate a bit of a what if. Are there some undercurrent feelings she may have?)

Author's Response:

Awwwwweee I was so excited to find you here!! I'm so glad you're really diggin on the story.  I've gotten a lot better at writing from Art & Soul.  Oh I plan to finish this one for sure.  I have it mapped out pretty much.  :)

You're right she doesn't owe him to meet with him and with the upcoming events that 'lunch date' won't happen at all.  The universe made sure of that.  Marley has no intentions with the offcer at all.  Him on the other hand I can't say that much for him. He's someone to side eye every now and then because he'll become more involved as the mystery opens up more.  Thank you so much for all the reviews Jazii.  I appreciate every single one!! <333

Reviewer: Redone Signed [Report This]
Date: Feb 08, 2015 01:28 pm Title: The Interview...

 

Health effects --> endocrine and metabolic in general. It was scary and unnerving and has had a lasting impact on my health...considering I only did it for 12 months and that was...13 years ago, it was a pretty bad experience. Especially given that I didn't do it without first educating myself.

Flashbacks --> you can cut and paste through word. I've done that before. Italicizing would also work. Perhaps even changing the alignment to the right side of the screen.

Author's Response:

Hmmm you may have had an allergy to soy that built up over time. That's bad. Do you have gluten issues too. Sometimes those two things go hand in hand. I have a friend that's a nutritionist and her son was presenting the same kind of issues you mentioned and it turned out he had an allergy to gluten and soy. 

I have a MacBook sonit doesn't have word on it. I just use the typing program that comes with it. Maybe that's the issue. I think that it should be fine tho with how the chapters are split. Italicizing doesn't sound too bad either. <333

Reviewer: Redone Signed [Report This]
Date: Feb 08, 2015 12:42 pm Title: Watching Eyes And Baby Cries

Your description of Michael's internal reaction to seeing Marley was on point. It was of the perfect length, written with tact, and managed to convey inner turmoil without crossing into the bounds of being too explicit/crude.

Question: If she's been with them so long, why does she call him "Mr"?

Crime dramas = my life. I'm down for one of those.

Author's Response:

I'm a sucker for a good crime drama and this is exactly what I'm trying to write. It's a first for me so bear with me on that note. 

Michael in this story is definitely a different toned down version of Michael from inked. Lol. So much more tact. 

I think it's a matter of that one line to cross that they both held on to. Especially at this stage that they have strong feelings for each other. I don't know if that makes sense at all. It was that one little barrier I put to keep them more professional despite the strong ties they have. <333

Reviewer: Redone Signed [Report This]
Date: Feb 08, 2015 12:24 pm Title: Chocolate Pudding And Paint It's All Creative

So far this story feels very ominous. It's very well-written, don't get me wrong, it just feels sad. 

Michael sounds like a wonderful father. I like the note about him only smoking when not in the presence of his daughter. I just wish the cancerous effects of cigarettes couldn't be carried through clothing.

Author's Response:

Yeah it does have sad over and undertones to it depending on where you get in the story. It's sweet too. When the charactors interact I try to make them as warm as called for in the moment. So theirs a lot of happiness too. 

I've always thought what Michael would be like if he smoked. Lol he was always mimicking the action in his dance and just randomly. 

Michael is such a doting dad. <333

Reviewer: sydneylovesmike20 Signed [Report This]
Date: Feb 08, 2015 06:24 am Title: It's Understood

This story is getting good butnI am confused with something. He married a girl named Kamaria and he also had a best friend named Kamaria? I'm a little confused on who's who. Can you explain to me who's who.

Author's Response:

Welcome to the story!!! I'm sorry you're confused. There is only one Kamaria in the story. The Kamaria that is Michael's best friend is the same person he marries. So just one Kamaria. If you're confused about anything else don't hesitate to ask. <333

Reviewer: jazii Signed [Report This]
Date: Feb 08, 2015 12:33 am Title: To Be Or Not To Be That Is The Question

I hope there's no problems with this officer fellow.

And when will we get the full story on Ria's death? I'm assuming it had something to do with Kenny and even more to fuel to why MJ don't talk to him anymore.

Author's Response:

The full story will unfold most likely in the Michael and Ria chapters. There will be some details that arise in the present time when it applies but the full scene will unfold with Michael and Ria. As for the Officer. You'll see! <333

Reviewer: jazii Signed [Report This]
Date: Feb 08, 2015 12:00 am Title: The Officer Or The Gentleman?

Home boy, yesss, fight for it!!!

... Why he gotta be so sexy tho?

Author's Response:

An age old question we will ponder on for years to come!! <333