Date: Feb 28, 2015 10:30 pm Title: Chapter 18: Oscar Wilde
Ok now really throw Diana out. It's all about Julia.
Date: Feb 28, 2015 05:04 pm Title: Chapter 17: The Gymnast
I wish he'd stop calling her his sister. It's annoying!!! I want them to just hurry up and kiss already!!!! Lol
Author's Response:
hahaha! sorry friend! it's...uh...coming??
Date: Feb 28, 2015 04:24 pm Title: Chapter 16: Changes
So. I hate Diana character with the fire of a thousand suns. Put her in the bin, she's getting in the way of Julia and Michael
Author's Response:
lol diana. the sad thing is that in a fantasy sort of way, i like the idea of her and michael. obviously she's a huge diva and i firmly believe she hurt and used him irl...but idk. there's something sweet about it just on the surface. but, yeah, she's definitely a bitch here.
Date: Feb 27, 2015 03:50 pm Title: Prologue
Nah, I dont hate them! hahaha. I've come to like them. Julia is funny and Michael can be a giant pain in the arse but he's still Michael so you have to love him.
You have to. ;)
You are really witty in your writing, I noticed that even from the first chapter, you put your sentences together very descriptively and cleverly, that was one of the first things that became clear to me and inspired me to keep on reading.
You've got a good story and really good ideas. I'm definitely continuing, but I just needed to process it all.
Date: Feb 27, 2015 03:13 pm Title: Chapter 16: Changes
Okay. Ive had to halt my reading at Diana Ross. I didn't pick it, I didn't expect it and I hate her fickle bitch ass so much lol.
I need to process.
I'll be back.
Author's Response:
Don't worry, she's not a major presence. She's just there for necessity's sake.
I feel like you hate everyone in the story so far. I'm sorry! Hopefully you enjoy it more if you continue on/Diana didn't turn you off too much.
Date: Feb 27, 2015 02:59 pm Title: Chapter 15: Sing-A-Long Songs
Hmmm I would have loved him getting up and doing a karaoke without anyone recognising him, that would have been a bit funny.
Michael is becoming slightly more likeable.
Date: Feb 27, 2015 11:58 am Title: Chapter 14: Rocky
Jeez.... Bitches be trippin'
Iwas just waiting for Julia to tell that bitch to gtfo. She doesn't know Michael like we do!!
my bff would never want to act like that or else I'd split her ball bag. My best friend would be impressed actually.
Anyway.. Great chapter!
Date: Feb 27, 2015 05:49 am Title: Chapter 13: Letters
I hope he doesn't f her over again.
Date: Feb 26, 2015 04:23 pm Title: Chapter 12: Research
Gosh, he's so infuriating.
""And then they asked me about my past and I told them a few things and...I don't know... they started throwing around all these terms I didn't really understand...I said I didn't wanna talk to them again," he finished with a smirk"
... omg now I want to punch him in the dick hole.
How can a person be so unintentionally infuriating and smug all at the same time!? wowsers... lol.
However, I liked the end, the cartoon thing was funny.
Author's Response:
LOL he gets better, I promise!!
Date: Feb 26, 2015 01:10 pm Title: Chapter 11: Vignettes of a life lived in twenty years
Im not really concerned about the dates or "real" time lines in stories.
This was a great chapter. I really liked it.
Author's Response:
thanks! i enjoy making everything stick as closely to what we know of mj's timeline just for my own enjoyment, tbh. it's like a fun little puzzle to me. i don't mind it in other stories at all, it was just a decision i made for this story specifically.
Date: Feb 26, 2015 01:00 pm Title: Chapter 10: Lean On Me
He's just got an answer for everything, doesn't he? She shouldnt be quick to understand. Regardless of whatever, she shouldnt have to pay for his shitty behaviour.
Date: Feb 26, 2015 12:43 pm Title: Chapter 9: Coffee
I wondered how long it would take until he was back... what a little shit.
Author's Response:
bahahahahahah this had be cracking up.
also i love it when people read/comment on the story from the beginning. it's so funny seeing their reactions as the story goes along. thanks for reading, friend!! i've gotta head over to mjje now to review your lastest chapter...i read it last night but havent reviewed yet!
Date: Feb 26, 2015 12:21 pm Title: Chapter 8: Stranded
Wow..... way more understanding than I would have been. Though Janelle was being real, if Michael asked her to hush up, she would have too. Awesome friend, almost too good to be true.
Author's Response:
On Janelle's part you mean? Being too understanding? I like to think that everyone has/would like to have that one friend that you would go through hell or high water for. I know I do. It's just ONE person. Just one. Although forking out 200 bucks and being scared half to death would piss be off as well...
Date: Feb 26, 2015 12:04 pm Title: Chapter 7: Happy New Year?
Whoa.
That was a fucking amazing chapter.
But I am SO livid with Michael. I want to punch Frank in his nut sack.
Author's Response:
Thank you!!! And BE ANGRY! Michael suuuuuuuuucks! That's the exact response I'm looking for. Neither of them are perfect. Julie lies to her bestfriend. Michael is crazy. No one's perfect right? ;)
Date: Feb 26, 2015 11:46 am Title: Chapter 6: People are people
I'm not completely sure I understand the dynamic of whats going on here. Brooke is bat shit insane, thats obvious, but is Michael in to her at all? If not, why does he care that Brooke is jealous of her? And why did he call her Meg? What's the point of giving her a fake name?
I don't like how Michael just let Brooke make her feel stupid and insignificant. Michael should have put more of a firmness on Brooke not being so rude!
Interested to see what happens next! x
Author's Response:
Thanks for the feedback! I just recently reread the whole story and I actually know exactly what you're talking about here. I was trying to go for:
1. it's a publicity relationship
2. michael's not into her, but is too nonconfronational to deal with it.
3. she's crazy and would be jealous of julia just for the sake of not having michael's full attention. michael didn't care persay, but just thought it'd be funny, knowing brooke and all. she's just one of those people that doesn't like it when anyone pays attention to anyone else besides her.
4. the fake name thing honestly stems from an entirely other plotline that was going to continue developing where they actually started dating, but in order to keep it on the downlow from everyyyyone, including her friends back home, she was going to assume the identity of his makeup artist in public and harry would be her fake boyfriend back home. he definitely could've just called her by her real name, since no one would've no the difference anyways. LOL.
When I get around to revision, this is DEFINITELY one of the sections that needs tidying up. It came right at the crossroads between the original plot and what the story turned into and I think that's very, very clear. Also, this is the first work of fanfiction I've ever written and I think at this point I was still trying to feel out how to portray Michael. I've known since the start that I wanted to stay as close to canon/reality as possible, so his slight deference to Brooke was coming from an attempt to show his shyness, I think. Since then, I've learned better ways to demonstrate that. MJ never would've let someone be so rude to him or one of his friends, you're totally right.
Thank you so much for this review! I really appreciate critiques :) Please feel free to call out any shenanigans you see as you continue to read!!