[Report This]Date: May 30, 2014 09:29 pm Title: Chapter 20 | Kadeland
Oh my gawd this chapter es fuego! Wow, Kade and Michael are so cute! And she real freaky. I love them together! Please update soon! I love it. Is it bad that when she said "welcome to Kadeland" I was like "YAY!" Lol, anyway. Please update soooooooooon.
And yes girl. I totally remember reruns of candid camera on like ion television or something. That was my show as a preteen.
By the way! You're sooooo pretty :3
Author's Response:
If you think this is hot, wait till you read the next chapter. I'm trying to do another update for Burns anniversary, but my birtday is tomorrow and I gotta work on sunday so hopeufully I can pull it off.
--when she said "welcome to Kadeland" I was like "YAY!" -- OMG you are a trip lol
I was just wondering because I hadn't though about that show until I wrote that line.
Thank you.
Date: May 28, 2014 01:03 pm Title: Chapter 20 | Kadeland
Okay... this was HOT!!! *-*
Can't wait for the next chapter.... plaese update soon!!!!!
Author's Response:
thank you !!
[Report This]Date: May 27, 2014 11:54 pm Title: Chapter 20 | Kadeland
Aww they're so sprung on each other that it's not even funny. It's too adorable. She was such a tease though lol. I thought that Michael was gonna have a heart attack at any minute. And yesss! I remember Candid Camera! I feel so old for that lol but that show was hilarious! Good chapter darlin'!
[Report This]Date: May 26, 2014 09:45 pm Title: Chapter 10 | The Girls Are Talking
He's amazingly nonchalant about her friend being in his space without his permission. Though, I guess with what she just went through, he's priority is making sure she has some comfort.
The phone call: 
I don't have a blog. I just look at other peeps' stuff.
I think you did a good job talking about his skin. I guess it could have been more drawn out and emotional, but that wouldn't feel consistent with everything else I've read in here thus far.
For your first, second, third, fourth (get the point?), this story is great. Head and shoulders above a lot of the stuff I've seen. You are a strong writer and I'm looking forward to watching you develop into an even stronger one :)
Author's Response:
Well you gotta keep in mind thaat he know who Rose is and how close she and Kayden are. I think he'd have a different reaction if it was someone else.
If you ever make one, let me know and I'lll follow you back.
Thank you, I rewrote that scene a couple times but I'm still not completely happy with it. But I'm like that with a lot of my chapters.
I'm glad you like it and thank you for giving it a chance, I really appreciate it. I can't wait for you to cathch up on all the chapters because they get better lol I really think writing this made me a better writer because the story I started after this one is more put together as a whole.
[Report This]Date: May 26, 2014 09:09 pm Title: Chapter 7 | Back To Reality
Damn. This story just go real. Favorite chapter so far. It feels like your writing style, the plot, and the characters are really coming together.
I'm hooked.
Author's Response:
Date: May 26, 2014 08:21 pm Title: Chapter 6 | What Happens In Vegas...
What makes it feel cheesy to you?
Btw - love your tumblr
Author's Response:
I just feel like I could do better with their conversation about Michael's skin.
and thanks, which blog is yours?
Date: May 26, 2014 08:08 pm Title: Chapter 5 | It Never Rains In Southern California
Yep. That would be a chapter with way more descriptors than dialogue lol.
Author's Response:
Yeah, I've gotten better, although there are probably a few chapters that I should rewrite.
[Report This]Date: May 26, 2014 07:36 pm Title: Chapter 4 | Just Friends, Right?
LOL. A book on abstinence. Nice.
I notice that you are adding more descriptions of their actions here and there. I like it; it makes the scene more vivid.
That was an awesome prank. I love your creativity!
Author's Response:
Honestly I have the most random thoughts and sometimes I try to work them into my chapters, and that prank was one of them.
Date: May 26, 2014 07:20 pm Title: Chapter 2 | The Hangover
I think you have a great dialogue going and lots of action. I'd like to read more about their thoughts and the settings, too.
I can't believe she blew in his face. If that wasn't a facepalm moment, I don't know what is.
Author's Response:
Bare with me lol. This was the first fanfic I've ever written. I think it's gotten better though. But thank you for telling me, I've been dying to have someone really critique my writing. I'll keep that in mind when i write my next chapter.
[Report This]Date: May 26, 2014 07:07 pm Title: Chapter 1 | Unmasked
Great start! It's an interesting premise and you've definitely got me caught by the end of this chapter.
Side note: I think you meant Hayvenhurst ;)
Author's Response:
Thank you I'm glad you like it !!
You're probably right about the Hayvenhurst thing, thinking back on it that makes more sense than Neverland but.... oh well lol
Date: May 26, 2014 05:03 pm Title: Chapter 20 | Kadeland
THIS IS FUCKIN' HOT!!!!!!!!!!
Author's Response:
haha just wait for the next chapter
[Report This]Date: May 04, 2014 02:11 am Title: Chapter 19 | Off Limits
Awww I'm glad they made up officially this time. I love how they just snap from being all lovey dovey to going off on each other to being lovey dovey again lol. Kayden knew that she wasn't gonna be able to hold out on Mike. Her little game lasted all of two seconds loooool. Mike has that strong effect on her. Poor thing. But I ain't mad at her though. I would be the same way. I find it interesting that she doesn't know how she feels about him though. But I can understand why since all of that happened in a month's time. That's a lot to take in when you find out that your work buddy is actually Michael Jackson. Anyway, the ending wasn't crappy! It was cute so don't say that lol. Can't wait for the next update!
Author's Response:
Kayden has zero will power againts that man, she couldn't even make it an hour. Just meeting him in person would be a complete mind fuck, if he really revealed him self like that I woulda passed out from shock. I just say it's a crappy ending cuz I think I got a little update happy. I was gonna write more but I really wanted to update it so I just stopped writing mid idea lol and cuz I wrote it right before I updated it.
Date: Apr 29, 2014 07:14 pm Title: Chapter 19 | Off Limits
*Squealing* these two oh my GOD. They're so fucking cute, I will never get over how cute they are. Again, a great chapter :) You never disappoint me hun. Never. I wonder what'll happen after their little dinner date. Damn, thinking of lasagna is making me hungry now lol!! Update soon!!!
Author's Response:
Soryy Ziggy, you know how I am with food, I can't help writing about it. They are just the cutest couple ever aren't they? I never even meant to make them that cute, it jsut happened.
[Report This]Date: Apr 29, 2014 02:01 pm Title: Chapter 19 | Off Limits
That ending was cute and this chapter was cute! I loved it!
That part where Kayden is pretending to sleep and Michael is just like, no... That had me in stitches.
I love this relationship. Can't wait for te next chapter. d84;
Author's Response:
Thanks, I know I say that I have fun writing a lot of my chapters but this one made me laugh so much while I was writinge it. Kayden really though she was doing something lol
[Report This]Date: Apr 29, 2014 11:15 am Title: Chapter 19 | Off Limits
Girl the ending didn't suck it was actually very sweet and cute Kade and Michael are just too cute together I love it can't wait for more. :-)
Author's Response:
It felt a little cheesy when I wrote it but, you thinking its sweet makes me feel better about it.