Reviewer: lummilovesmichael Signed [Report This]
Date: Sep 25, 2024 10:03 am Title: Chapter 7 Just Married

Is a very cute story. I think most us ladies would love to be the Y.A.N.A girl or the SOOML lucky lady to be pull to stage to get those brief minutes to dance, hug and hopefully steal a kiss on the cheek from Michael.  You did great as I never written a story here but, just my humble opinion here are some suggestions. 

The 1st thing space out the writing a little so it be easier to read. 

#2 A little more detail like this was during the HIStory Tour but, which city - which date or month?  Remember HIStory Tour was mainly overseas with the exception of Hawaii.

#3 Michael and Jenna should have made out in the dressing room and then Michael should had invited her to his hotel.  The fact they made love right after the show in the dressing room and spent the night at the venue or stadium not likely even though is a fantasy story.

#4 You added Neverland to the story which means this is taking place in California, US and that contradicts the setting of the HIStory Tour.  Well don't mind me.  I guess I'm just a super nerd / dork for the details. 

In the end Jenna got what most ladies can only dream about being with Michael - loving him unconditionally and having a beautiful baby with the Most Wonderful Man this world ever had.  Is ALL for L.O.V.E. ????????

Reviewer: Rate Anonymous [Report This]
Date: Mar 10, 2013 07:50 pm Title: Chapter 1 The Way You Make Me Feel

Ooh like this one!