[Report This]Date: Feb 05, 2011 05:00 pm Title: Chapter 6
I loved the flow you created with the repetition of the phrase "she doesn't tell people." I thought the repitition provided almost a poetic flow to this short, powerful update. You got skills pixie. Real talk. I'm loving this.
[Report This]Date: Feb 05, 2011 04:50 pm Title: Chapter 5
Again, great job. This well written little update packed quite a punch girl. You're building up one heckuva romance here pixie. Do I feel a let down coming on? We'll see...
[Report This]Date: Feb 05, 2011 04:17 pm Title: Chapter 4
Girl, where has this hot little story been hiding. Two thumbs up again.
You're creating a helluva sexual tension between Michael and Tatiana. And I like it pixie. Not only for the sexiness but girl you actually write very well.
I could feel the tension when they were having their stare down after you wrote, "He raises his eyebrows up at her further, as if asking her a question, a game of truth or dare, and she feels herself panic slightly, like this is a test and she doesn't know the right answers."
And then the last scene was beyond blazing girl. I like Tatiana just going along with the flow of what's happening with Michael. It's like she's not tripping. Maybe she understands how unprofessional it would be for him to show open romantic interest for her.
[Report This]Date: Feb 05, 2011 03:48 pm Title: Chapter 3
Pixie this was a really well written update. I really like how you depicted Michael's relationship with Joe before a big performance.
As you described Michael's haunted look after Joe made disparaging remarks, I could feel the pain the real Michael must've felt. I could feel the loneliness he might've felt performing before a "couple hundred thousand" people. I could imagine Michael feeling that he was no more than a dollar sign to Joe.
I also like how you depict Tatiana as a caring and sympathetic presence in Michael's life. And then you topped it all off with a blazing post-concert love scene. What more could a girl ask for? This joint was hot girl!
A thought-provoking, sexy MJfanfic was exactly what I needed this Saturday afternoon. Good job!
[Report This]Date: Feb 05, 2011 03:15 pm Title: Chapter 2
You really have some good one-liners, I'm noticing. Like, "his hand has grazed up and down her thigh so much that when she gets back to her hotel room she’s surprised to discover he hasn’t left any permanent marks." I like your writing style pixie.
[Report This]Date: Feb 05, 2011 02:55 pm Title: Chapter 1
Nice opening sis.
[Report This]Date: Feb 05, 2011 02:31 pm Title: Chapter 10
Nice job sis. Give us a little more next time; if you can.
[Report This]Date: Feb 05, 2011 02:24 pm Title: Chapter 9
LOL on the mid-June resolution not needing to take effect for another 6 months. I loved that line girl.
Date: Feb 04, 2011 10:08 pm Title: Chapter 9
BTW this chapter was too short for me.... I wanted to read more and more LOL
Date: Feb 04, 2011 10:07 pm Title: Chapter 9
Poor Tatiana....She knows this is not right....but she gives into her feelings......
Keep writing girl!!!!! update ASAP! lol
Date: Feb 04, 2011 12:54 pm Title: Chapter 9
Please continue...
L.o.v.e.
Date: Jan 31, 2011 10:51 pm Title: Chapter 8
Hey Girl! please update soon!! I like how you write this story... It's really good!
Keep writing!
Date: Jan 24, 2011 10:38 pm Title: Chapter 8
You know when I read this chapter....i was "ohhh poor Tati" LOL
It's like he had an inside battle.... with this feelings, his owns emotions... Like he wants to be loved....but he doesnt want to fall into love....
It's so sad....Sometimes I think "what would have happen if she didn't kiss MJ onstage?"
uhmmmm Only they know......
Keep writing girl...I like your story...the way you tell this story.
Date: Jan 24, 2011 09:05 pm Title: Chapter 8
Wow, he's a mess....he has such a wall built around him. Next time he asks, " if she wnts to go back to her room " she should say No, I wan't to stay and lay with you. Good stuff....this story has such excitement to it.
Date: Jan 24, 2011 06:07 pm Title: Chapter 8
Cool story...looking forward to reading more