I had never laughed more than when Michael walked in to my room. He looked utterly ridiculous.

He a stick-on beard that from a distance looked a little bit real and a baseball cap that his hair was obviously stuck up inside and a stupid fake set of teeth that made him look as though he needed some serious dental work.

To top it off, he had a pair of circle framed John Lennon type reading glasses.

He had me in stitches. He was accompanied to my room by a senior staff member; I was guessing that his presence was kept as quiet as possible and the little staff that knew about him meant the easier my existence was.

I was killing myself laughing at his new look. “What do you think?” he asked, struggling to talk with the stupid teeth in his mouth, “I’ll reveal thisth look at the nextht presth conferenth!”

I threw my head back and laughed uncontrollably. Slowly he peeled the beard off and took his cap off and slipped out the unfortunate plate, dropping it on my desk, full of saliva.

“Gross, Michael…” I remarked, “you got saliva all over my desk.”

He giggled a little embarrassed. “I’ll wipe it, I promise.”

He had two big bags of things for me that looked pretty heavy that he had set down in the doorway after the senior nurse closed the door for us.

When our laughter had dispersed he got pretty serious. He smiled at me a little nervously, his eyes shamelessly sweeping over my frame. He held his arms out. “Are you gonna let me hold you for a minute or…?”

I smiled back at him feeling my stomach churn again, but in the good way this time. I sank in to his arms and felt them envelope themselves around me. His chest was so warm and he squeezed me so tightly that I almost became emotional. I caught myself and breathed in contentedly, drinking in the scent of his cologne.

“I missed you so much,” he murmured kissing my temple. “Its so good to have you in my arms again.”

I lifted my head and looked up at him, resting my hands on his thin waist. He loosened his arms around me and held my face in his hands. “And this gorgeous face,” he added. He held my gaze for a moment, his eyes studied me with a small, delighted smile that made my stomach feel mushy inside. It was a little confronting for me as was his brazen compliment that I found hard to take without deflecting it.

He didn’t let me get a word in, instead he just kissed my lips softly and briefly and hugged me again.

I knew we were going to be virtually inseparable until his visit ended.

When we broke our embrace he grabbed a bag from the door and picked it up and emptied its entire contents on my bed. Michael had no real concern for mess or clutter, I’d discovered. If he had any future with me, that had to change.

“Here’s your wool…” he told me, nodding toward the excessive amount of all different colours. “Is that enough?”

“Well no, I don’t know if I can crochet more than just one circus tent with all of this…” I joked.

He stared at me for a moment wondering if I was joking. Realising that I was, he laughed, “Sorry, I didn’t know how much is needed.”

“No, I’m joking…Thank you…” I grinned.

“And then these…” he handed me a bunch of books, “I hope they’re alright…” There was about six fictional books that I hadn’t heard of, but I trusted his judgment if the other one was anything to go by.

“And then I got you this…” he paused came around to the side of the bed that I was standing on. He handed me a beautiful red leather bound antique style journal. “It’s a journal…”

“Thank you Michael…”

“I think you’re amazing at anything creative, I hope that you’ll make this book come alive with the stories you’re alive to tell… whether it be by drawing or by your words…”

I took the soft leather book in my hands and realised he had written a foreword in it. A little bit cheesy, I thought, but it was so incredibly him. I smiled up at him. His face was a little unshaven but he always looked so handsome.

He kissed my lips again. It felt nice to have him with me, to be close with him again and that inherent urge that desired to be looked after and loved. I realised my heart no longer raced nervously around him, spiking a low level of anxiety. It cemented the fact that he made me feel safe.

Pulling away from me reluctantly, he continued as if it were nothing – as if kissing me was as natural as breathing to him. “I got you some classical music and a better set of headphones than the ones your brother messed up.

He pulled the huge Sony pair out of a bag. They were still fresh in the box. “These are ones we use at the studio, it cancels out every bit of background noise. It will sound amazing when you’re wanting to just close your eyes and enjoy the instruments…”

“Wow…” I murmured, “thank you, they look … expensive.”

Michael shrugged, “enjoy them, you won’t be sorry about receiving them, I promise,” he smiled as he showed me the tapes that he got. I couldn’t wait for them to be my new relaxation methods before bed.  

He dumped a bag of junk food all over my bed. I laughed. There was a 12 pack of mini soda cans and a few bags of Cheetos, chocolates, peanut M&Ms, Kit Kats, gummi bears and a couple small bags of lays potato chips.

“Holy crap, Michael, do you want my teeth to fall out?”

He chuckled, “No, call me crazy, but I kinda want the girl I am dating to, I don’t know, have teeth… I hope that’s not too much to ask.”

I laughed at his silliness. He picked up the last bag and pulled out a pillow that was still in the plastic wrap that had been doubled over inside the bag, stretching it a little bit. “Your pillow is here, my precious, hopefully its good enough, I made sure it was orthopaedic approved.”

“God, that’s amazing, I have been having the biggest headaches and sore necks from that stupid pillow,” I pointed.

“Oh, and I almost forgot…” he reached to the remnants of the bag, “here’s your miso and shitake… I went to a proper Asian green grocer for that.” I took the sachets from his hand and smiled. I couldn’t wait to have those.

“Thank you, for all of this… you are the best.” I began putting the things back in the bag neatly. “Tonight I’ll go to bed with my earphones and will sleep on my new pillow. You are a dream boat.”

He smiled. “I do what I can…” he helped me by unwrapping the pillow. He took off the stark white pillowcase from the old one and replaced it on the new one.

“Do you get a phone or a TV or something?” he asked, looking around.

“No, that’s something my family have to take care of… I asked my Papa today, he said he’ll try to take care of it…”

“Okay, cool. Let me know tomorrow if its been taken care of, I’ll fix it up for you if it isn’t.”

“Its actually okay without a TV. It means that I can get a lot of art done.”

I put the bag down beside my bed and sat down. Michael sat with me. It felt a little weird at first, there was so much to talk about, yet not a lot I really wanted to share except for how glad I was to have him with me. He plucked my hand up and laced his fingers through mine.

“So…” he began, “tell me… how is everything?”

I smiled at him a little coyly. “Great, right now…”

His eyes were full of stars and it made me feel giddy to my very core. I never thought in a million years that Michael Jackson would be making googly eyes at me.

“Me too…” he murmured. I was very aware of the pad of his thumb grazing over the arch between my own and my forefinger. He was so affectionate in the most subtle, yet noticeable ways.

“How was it to see your parents and sister?” he asked.

I began to smile. “Michael, the most amazing thing happened today… I actually was thinking about it through dinner, the excitement of seeing you made me forget for a moment.”

I loved that I had his entire, undivided attention. He waited for me, anxious to hear what I had to say. “Tell me…” he commanded in a way that was not bossy but rather engaging.

“My brother Kaito turned up… he’s back from London—for good.”

“Kaito? He’s the eldest, right?” he asked me, “you’re not very close with him…”

“He’s 9 years older than me. He moved out when I was about 10 or so for college and a girlfriend… he took a job abroad just after everything happened with Samuel and Luke and my hospitalisation.”

“Oh, so… you’ve never been close…”

“Yeah, but it was good to see him. He took me for a walk while Mom and Dad and Anica met with the director and we had the best talk. He’s moving home for good for me.”

Michael seemed surprised and if I was honest, maybe he seemed a little cynical or suspicious. “What do you mean? What was the motivation?”

“We just discussed his reasons for leaving… he said it was a bit like he could never win with Samuel around and everyone took his side…  and then when he got away with what happened with Luke, then what I did… it just made him what to run away because he wasn’t sure how to deal…”

“Right…” Michael listened.

“He told me that when he found out I’d tried it again, Anica told him what Samuel had done to me… and he just tied up all his loose ends in London and came home. He said he should have been there to protect me from the beginning and regrets his decision to leave so he wants to fix things with me now…”

“That’s noble…” Michael’s voice trailed off.

“I know it sounds like a giant, swift commitment for someone to make, but… for the first time, Michael, a family member didn’t bother trying to make excuses for not protecting me, they actually apologised to me.”

He slid an arm around me. “Its important when someone can be insightful enough to know that they’ve made a mistake. I hope your brother will come through for you.” He seemed a little bit reluctant to get excited for me which slightly irritated me.

“Michael, c’mon, don’t be diplomatic. I’ve never had my big brother in my life like this. Maybe its premature, but he’s also the only person who’s never done anything bad to me or at least, the only person who hasn’t tried to guilt me in to feeling a certain way—this is necessary for me.”

“Okay,” he relented, “Malania, I’m sorry, its just out of the blue. I don’t want you to get hurt but he’s your brother and you know him, I hope you’ll grow close with him and he’ll come through for you, you deserve to have family members you can trust – we all do.”

“Its alright… time will tell, he said he’s going to come and see me every day, tomorrow he’s coming without Mama and Papa. He’s looking for an apartment and is staying with them for the moment.”

“Great…” he smiled, “Can I still visit tomorrow too?”

“Yes!” I exclaimed, “Hearing from you this morning was so awesome. It was definitely the best part of my day.”

He drew me closer and hugged me again. “its just so wonderful to see you,” he murmured, “I can’t keep my hands off you.”

I chuckled. I wasn’t going to protest. “That’s alright with me…”

I turned my body toward him and let him focus on me. He stroked the hair that framed my face, his deep intense eyes stared at me and disarmed me from speaking a single word. He took away my senses and made me ignore every insecurity my head threw at me and allowed me to open up my heart.

“You’re gorgeous…” he murmured as a smile made its way across his pink lips.

Not to be outdone, I reached up, taking both of his coffee-coloured cheeks in my hands and smoothed his skin. “You’re not too bad yourself, Mr. Jackson…”

“Ooh?” he rose his eyebrow at me, “Not gonna lie, its kinda hot when you call me Mister Jackson,” he laughed almost embarrassed to admit it.

I started to laugh too. My face hot a little hot, but I shrugged it off. He was just being a bit cheeky, I knew he was teasing me.

“Kiss me…” I commanded him softly.

He smiled for a moment as if he was trying to see how long he could draw out the wait, building my anticipation. He knew what I meant when I told him to kiss me; that I wanted a real kiss, not the polite ones he’d been covering me with since he arrived.

“Stop it!” I whispered impatiently as I closed the distance between our faces, deciding that if he wasn’t going to make the move, I was going to.

I pressed my lips against his. It was a bit awkward at first, but as he stopped resisting and playing games, I became more sure of myself. I guided his mouth open with my own. His lips were soft and his tongue was warm and inviting.

His hands began to find their way from my back, raking his fingers through the hair at the back of my neck and his other steadied my cheek. I realised he had been holding back as I felt him slowly release his passion. I felt the tips of our tongues touching, igniting a spark inside of me, alighting my senses and causing me to lose my composure briefly.

I was a woman of somewhat limited experience, but I was determined not to let that shake my confidence. I may have had limited experience, but I wasn’t going to allow Michael to pay for my past. I knew he didn’t have a harmful or violent bone in his body and I knew I could trust him.

My body relaxed, allowing him to assert a little more initiative over me. I dropped my hands from his face, encircled him, drawing his body as close as I could to me. He kissed me hard, quickly losing that gentleness that I enjoyed as if he had been aching to do so for a long time. His tongue filled my mouth with urgency and grasped a handful of hair at the back of my head. He didn’t hurt me nor did he pull my hair but it made me feel uncomfortable immediately.

I pulled away. “Michael…” I murmured breathlessly.

He was slightly breathless too; he glanced at me expectantly. When I eyed him in silence he went to lean in to kiss me again but I dodged him.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, realising quickly that I was put out by something. “Sorry… did I-“

“Can you just…” I paused, figuring out how to word what I wanted to say without feeling like a giant baby.

“What?” he asked a bit more gently with some concern, “did I hurt you?”

“No… Michael, just try to be a bit softer…its just…”

He looked at me, finally dawning on him what I meant by my words. “Sorry,” he apologised sincerely and embarrassed with himself, “I got too carried away.”

“Its alright,” I said quickly, “I just need you to go a bit slower…”

He smiled and leaned forward and picked up the kiss with a certain tenderness about him that had been previously missing. I let my eyes fall shut. I felt him reach for one of my hands that had been resting at his waist. He entwined his fingers through mine. He drew away briefly, “Is that better?” he asked, checking with me.

I nodded, “Much…”

He kissed me again and pulled away completely. “We should actually stop…” he murmured.

“What?” I asked, feeling like I’d done something wrong by being honest with him – that perhaps somehow my honesty had emasculated him.

“Well…” he began squeezing my hand, “you… just make me lose my senses if I can be a bit truthful…” his smile seemed troubled, “and uh,” he glanced down at his pants, revealing a slight affirmation of his attraction to me, “I find it hard to um… just…” he stammered, “my heart, I’m sorry.”

I was finally able to laugh at the tension in the room from our awkwardness. “Its okay…”

“Its just… we kinda left off where we were both showing each other some physical affection and you’ve been dominating my mind through the week and so finally seeing your face…” I could have liquefied in that moment, his smile just did me in every. Single. Time.

“Okay…” I murmured, “Its probably not the right time or place for any of this…” I agreed, taking hold of the heart around my neck as I noticed I had began to do when I was feeling a little bit anxious.

“Did you know,” he said, reaching up to caress my hair that was tied back in a messy knot at the back of my head, “you have the most beautiful smile?” he asked me rhetorically.

“Untrue,” I retorted, “you have the most beautiful smile, every time you smile my guts go to mush,” I retorted, letting go of my Tiffany heart and giving him my attention again.

He chuckled a little bashfully. “Did I ever tell you that the first time I met you, I made a really awful mistake of gushing to a certain person that you happened to have the cutest little dimple.”

“Diane?” I asked, laughing with disbelief.

“Yeah… apparently telling the woman you’re seeing that another girl has a cute as hell dimple isn’t exactly appropriate.”

I laughed more. “No wonder she hated me…”

He just shook his head looking amused. “Yeah…” his voice trailed off, “not my smartest move…”

“So… what happened this week? Tell me about this alleged evidence?” I asked him, wondering if there were things he was still keeping from me to protect me.

“Oh…” he sighed as if he really didn’t want to talk about it, but I wasn’t going to allow him to get away with it. I made myself comfortable and eased back on my bed against the pillow far away from the edge of which we were both sitting a little stiffly. I patted a spot beside me. He followed suit and settled down against the headboard. “I guess its stupid stuff. They took a lot of my photos and books and some of Casey’s laundry and they say they’ve found my DNA on those things.”

I frowned, “You lived there, as if your DNA wasn’t on those things!”

“No,” he looked at me, trying to tell me he meant more, “you know,” he was kind of embarrassed to say the words and I couldn’t quite figure it out.

“Um… like I’d relieved myself…”

“Oh for goodness sakes…” I shook my head, “as if, Michael… what a load of bullshit.”

“I know,” he agreed. He avoided my eyes and avoided touching me while he spoke about it – almost as if speaking the words out loud may have made me think that he was guilty of the things that they were alleging. “Greg thinks that they’re just saying that to scare me. They didn’t specify where this alleged DNA was found, but they’ve cleverly recorded the evidence reports and of course it was miraculously leaked to the media… so they’re taking it to mean that Casey’s clothes were littered with my DNA which is devastating.”

“Ugh…” I scoffed, “Michael, I’m sorry.” I took his hand and leaned my head on his shoulder. “I know we’ll prove them wrong…”

“The good news is that we’ve found some videos that my video crew was taking on tour where my interaction with both Diane and Casey has been documented. There’s even some home movies we took about a year ago that shows me caring for her, we can use that… and also financial reports of all the things that I spent my money on—which I worry about because it might look as though I was buying them off.”

“I think if people see the way you and Diane interacted they’d realise you were interested in her sexually and you loved and cared for her daughter like she was your own child.”

Michael agreed with that. “The other thing that might be good for me is that I still have the records of our baby… I have the first sonogram picture – it shows that I had a proper functioning relationship with Diane. As well as that, Casey only ever complained and said someone was hurting her for those last few months, apparently, most of the time I wasn’t even there.”

I heard his head hit the wall behind it with a bit of a soft thud and he breathed a giant sigh of resolution. “I dunno, my heart…” his voice trailed off, “some days I just don’t know if I have the strength for all this…”

I felt for him. Some days I felt the same. “Remember I told you… we all have our dog days, Michael, every single one of us… Its going to be alright,” I promised.

“But we don’t know that…” he said quietly.

“Yes we do. We are going to trust the justice system and we are going to trust your innocence and all of the facts. And you aren’t doing this alone, Michael, I’m here with you.”

He nodded, staring straight ahead at the door, thinking things over.

“I saw Liz yesterday…” he told me, “it was really nice to see her again. She’s back from London and she spent the day with me…. We just hung out.”

“I’m glad you have someone when I can’t be there,” I remarked, giving his hand a squeeze.

“Me too… but its not the same. Liz understands the media side of things and she, when she’s stripped back of that beautiful Hollywood movie star, she is a very, very loyal friend to have … but still, she’s not you.”

“To be fair, if you were paying her the same kind of attention you pay me, I’d be a little bit hurt.”

He gave a laugh.

“Anyway… whats it like here?”

“Good… I have a stack of notes saved for you, remind me to give them to you before you leave…you’ll probably get a better idea through them what its been like.”

I looked up at him and smiled. “I can’t tell you how good it was to see you. I almost cried when you called me this morning…”

“I was bursting at the seams,” he laughed, “I was almost expecting to be told to call back later.”

“I’m glad you’re here…” I told him. With my free hand I touched my necklace. “I love this so much, Michael… I didn’t really get the chance to express that to you properly when you gave it to me.”

“Yes you did…” He grinned, “but I’m so glad you love it…”

“Have you made any friends?”

I laughed thinking of a stupid comment my mother had made on the way to the treatment center. “You sound like my Mom…”

He laughed too, “Oh yeah…” he replied and I knew instantly he had cottoned on to what I was talking about.

“What was that?!” I laughed, “I mean, I’m being shipped off to a friggin’ treatment centre for depression and self harm and she’s kissing me goodbye like its my first day at school, ‘bye Malania!’” I put on my best Serbian accent and lifted my hand up to wave to an imaginary person, “make some friends, no? eat your lunch, draga!” I continued dramatically.

Michael cracked up, “oh my goodness, you do that accent so well…”

I laughed, “But come on…”

“She probably just didn’t know what else to say,” he defended her, “still, wasn’t appropriate, but Moms are like that at times.”

“I know…”

I felt him stretch and put an arm around me. I wished we could leave the room and hang out on our own outside or something. It was stuffy in my room with the door closed.

As if on cue, the door to my room opened and the senior staff member, Faye walked in without knocking. I was a little annoyed about that, but obviously I wasn’t in the position to argue.

“Welfare check…” she smiled warmly at us both. She was nice, friendly staffer who was a bit older than the younger staff. She was nice but I’d also learned she took no shit.

“We’re fine… just chatting,” he answered for me. We understood that by virtue of the fact that I had Michael Jackson sitting beside me, we were given special privacy that I’d not otherwise be afforded.

There was a very general open-door policy in the rooms. There was also usually a very watchful eye on visits, but we couldn’t just allow Michael to be seen. They did prefer him to visit later as long as it didn’t mess with my daily routine, but I was fine with that, it was a positive way for me to end each day.

The nurse eyed the bag of goodies beside the desk where I’d set them down after packing it all away. “Have you had someone go through all those things?”

“Not yet,” Michael replied, “but please feel free…”

The short-bleached blond, heavy-set nurse picked up one bag and started taking the items out. “This is just protocol, to make sure no contraband is snuck inside.”

“No,” he shook his head and held up his hand, “totally understandable.”

She seemed satisfied with the contents of the food bag and pulled out the second and had a quick look through the other things. “Wow, Malania,” she commented, looking at the headphones over the top of her half-moon reading glasses, “you’re very lucky, these look great…”

“Yeah…” I smiled, “I am pretty lucky…” I confirmed, eyeing Michael with a grin.

“Mr. Jackson, its going to be lights-out in about thirty minutes, so while I regret to give you the bum’s rush, I am just letting you know that Malania will need to start getting ready for bed or else when those lights go out, she will turn in to a pumpkin.”

We both laughed even though I really didn’t want him to go. “Well, I really don’t want that to happen… so I guess I should start bidding my farewells…”

“I’ll give you guys five more minutes,” she told us both, “and then I’ll make sure everyone is in their rooms for lights out and we’ll get your security to escort you to the car.”

“Thanks…” he smiled.

“Okay,” she nodded seeming fine with everything in the bags. “See you both in five.”

She closed the door behind her. I turned to Michael and felt a bit down that he had to go. “Want me to come back tomorrow?” he asked as if there was a chance I might say no.

“Absolutely…” I replied. I encircled my arms around his slim waist and felt him reciprocate my embrace. He rested his cheek upon the crown of my head and gave me a little squeeze.

“When can I have leave so I don’t have someone breathing down my back?” I asked him, unsure of if he knew or not.

“Soon, sweetheart… just be patient. Keep on with your daily routine, make progress and I’m sure they’ll start letting you out of here.”

“You’re the best Michael, can you please promise me you won’t get too down on your own?” I asked.

“I’ll try…”

I certainly worried about him being alone but I didn’t know anyone that could keep an eye on him the way he kept an eye out for me.

“I hope you…” he began, caressing my hair with both of his hands as he looked in to my eyes, “have, the, most, amazing and sweetest of dreams my beautiful, beautiful heart…”

I smiled, my cheeks reddening. “I will…”

Our lips met for a soft kiss. His mouth sank over the top of mine sensuously. This tongue grazed mine, I gripped his arms tightly as my senses became sharpened. His fingers brushed down my back and settled at my waist.

He had reeled himself back since our earlier kiss. He kissed me hungrily and passionately yet not with as much urgency or forcefulness which allowed me to yield to his show of physical affection.

He made goosebumps rise all over the surface of my arms as his tongue made a line against my lower lip before finding its way in to my mouth, dancing with mine. His hands became unsettled again and caressed me, one of them finding their way to my wrist, running his thumb along the inside of it, making me lose focus for a moment. His other hand smoothed along my nape. He certainly knew how to touch me in a way that made my body go crazy.

Perhaps he wasn’t the only one who had a little issue with self-control. I didn’t want him to stop. I wanted him to push me down on to my pillow and kiss me harder. I wanted him to press his body against mine and feel his hands all over me, I wanted to start unbuttoning his blue plaid shirt and letting my hands run over the hardness of his body.

My mind was getting a bit carried away. He pulled away from me breathlessly, probably because he was trying to calm down himself. We recaptured our kisses a few times before creating some distance. He continued on running his fingers along the back of my neck. I kissed him one last time, promising myself it would be the last.

“I should go…” he said in a whisper.

I nodded without a word, knowing he should and had to. “Can’t wait to see you tomorrow.” I love you, I spoke internally. Obviously, I kept it to myself.

“Goodnight baby…” he greeted me.

Before he was about to go, I handed him the notes I’d been writing over the week. “Goodnight Michael…” I replied, "don't forget to take your creepy disguise," I nodded toward the desk. He chuckled and picked the teeth he'd been lisping with. 

It was perfect timing, as he was releasing me from our final hug, the senior nurse came back with Carsen to escort him out. I poked my head out my room and gave Carsen a little wave.

“Goodnight Ms. Malania,” he nodded to me.

“’Night, Carsen.”

Michael blew me a kiss and disappeared for the night.