Date: Feb 19, 2016 12:27 am Title: Chapter 65
I couldn't agree more with some of these reviews. Great chapter! Given Malania's survivor story, you definitely gave justice to it, especially in how they didn't just go into it and how you walked us through her internal struggles. Also the actual sex scene was written well, it didn't feel corny or awkward to read at all (: Great work, love.
Date: Feb 03, 2016 02:21 pm Title: Chapter 65
Corny?...........................................................This is how fat from corny this chapter was sweet and real and pretty much what I expected. Nothing was over the top about it.
Mal was brave and I'm glad she fought through her brain trying to sabotage her wanting to be with Michael on that level. It was worth the wait.
Michael was sweet and considerate. Knowing it was both their first time together, he took his time but got eager in some moments but that's to be expected.
See it was no sweat. Your an amazing writer so I knew you could pull it off.
Now the morning after we'll see where things go. I'm interested in seeing how they react to each other in the morning.
More soon!! Girl if you don't know I got my eye on you you better get the lead out that ass and give me a chapter soon!!! I'm watching you!!! <333
Hahaha. Thanks for the vote of confidence, love. To be fair, it would have been out of his character if he didn't put his own selfish wants or needs before her... but that would have made for an interesting chapter -- him losing his shit cos she couldn't go thru with it.
In the morning he's gonna get all cold and be like, "shake your ass on home, hoe."
Ohhhh I'm so scared you scare me soooooo. ;)
Date: Feb 01, 2016 07:47 pm Title: Chapter 65
You wrote this very well. It was definitely erotic, but the way you walked us through Malania's thoughts did justice to her story as a survivor. Michael is so kind and understanding; I loved it!
Thanks BJ :) <3
Date: Feb 01, 2016 07:24 pm Title: Chapter 65
FINALLY! This was just great, like really, so great. I love the way you depicted this scene it's not like they're two pornstars that do this for a living, you didn't even specify if she came and it's just so-- normal. Ugh loved it.
Hahahaha. I hate unrealistic sex in not only fan fic but also any fiction. Once I read a book that referred to someone's penis as a train going thru a tunnel. WHAT THE HELL?!?! lol. And no, my characters are always human. THanks :) Hope you'll be ready for part 2. :)
Date: Feb 01, 2016 06:40 pm Title: Chapter 65
I should probably cut and paste the reviews I've made on the back end to here, shouldn't I?
Re: the Madonna albums joke. Depends on the album imo.
I still can't believe that as the climax comes, she's comparing penises.
I just wanted to have a shower.
On another note
You managed to be your own shade of graphic without touching Danielle Steel-ish corny or making me side-eye any word choices. Well done! Though I was waiting for the bayonet to make it's appearance. Perhaps that'll be for the shower? Less mess....
Haha thats okay.
Any Madonna from the 80s was a bit ech... early 90s was okay, I'd easily sit through some of her 90s stuff!
Hahaha. I think in most stories girls seem to come just from the feeling of the guy coming -- but its all bullshit. Mutual orgasm doesn't happen all that often, so I can imagine that given its her first time she's not busy coming -- she's having thoughts about "OH MAN THIS FEELS WEIRD! THIS FEELS SO FUCKING WEIRD. OH YEAH GOOD PENIS I LIKE THIS PENIS" hahahahahahahahhaha.
Fuck, I can't get my head around people who want to lay together after sex. Just get up and rinse your vagina out man.... you'll get a bladder infection. HAHAHA.
You're glad I didn't make MJ work her hot bud, are you? That his love pole didn't fish around inside her womanly cavern? Hahahahahaha.
The bayont... well, there's still time! :X
Date: Feb 01, 2016 06:36 pm Title: Chapter 65
This was amazing and was well worth the wait! One of the best sex scenes on MJFiction. I have never left a comment before but I just had to. I love how you didn't rush; the way you built up the tension both captured the mood and authenticized it . You're an incredible storyteller :)
Hey love! Thanks for the review. And thanks for the lovely compliment-- hope to hear more from you :)