Date: Feb 10, 2015 02:16 pm Title: Let's Talk About Sex
I'm so glad you decided to address this topic because this is a MAJOR turn off for me when it comes to stories. Having too many sex scenes, sex too early in the characters relationship and too explicit of sex scenes can make me stop reading a story in a heartbeat.
I for one do not care about whether or not a story contains sex. I have read many stories that did not have sex scenes or had very few and they were excellent. I for one do dot put sex scenes in my stories. And I have very good reasoning. For one thing, I would be too embarrassed to write one. It just really seems out of my shy nature. I would feel ashamed knowing that I posted something like that on a pubic site for anyone and everyone to read and if any of my family members ever found out I was writing anything explicit, I don't think I'd ever recover from the embarrassment.I want to be a novelist someday and I'm pretty sure sex scenes might be necessary for one of my stories but hopefully but then I'll be more comfortable with it.
Another major reason being that I am a virgin. I have zero experience with sex. While am am able to write about somethings I've never experienced before, sex is not one of them. I may be a virgin and I may be young but I understand that sex is more than just a physical act. There are also emotions that go with it and if and when I do write a sex scene, I would like for my readers to feel the love and intimacy between the characters. Another reason being that I don't want to look ridiculous. I see so many young girls(14,15) on this site and other fanfiction sites writing sex scenes that sound absolutely ridiculous and contrite. That's a huge pet peeve of mine. This girls think they know something about sex and that their sex scenes are so good but they just end up sounding like kiddie porn. My thing is if you have never had sex before, don't try and write about it. Now, there's a particular writer I know who is young and possible has never had sex before but writes excellent scenes. Their gentle and sophisticated and don't make me feel like I'd be watching a porno. She's a spectacular writer though. Some writers can pull it off, I for one don't think I can.
It annoys me how when a writer has a story and the characters relationship is moving at a steady pace and the readers are all like "Where's the sex??" "When are they going to have sex??" It's as if that's all their reading the story for. And it's sad when the writer gives into the peer pressure and the characters end up having sex way too early in their relationship.
I don't avoid sex completely in my stories. The characters may have it but there is never a scene to describe the act. I may write about the passion leading up to it or the initiation and the morning after but I never go into detail. As I mentioned before I just don't feel comfortable with it. I know that sex is an important part of a relationship and is a part of human so the only way it would never be metioned is if the characters had some type of plationic relationship. I try to highlight other elements of initamicy in the characters relationships like in their conversations or in playful banter or just in cuddling or a simple hug. Some writers just feel like sex is the main attraction of the relationship and nothing else. It's as if all their characters ever do is have sex and never talk to each other, joke with one another, give dry kisses or hugs. So year, all that's not as exciting as sex but it's also included in a relationship package.
The final thing that turns me off about sex scenes in stories is the language people use. Most basic writers use lewd, porn worth language(ie. dick, cunt, pussy, ect.) and end up sounding ridiculous. Not only do the writers sound ridiculous to me but I find these words to be uncomfortable and slightly offensive. It also shows me that the writer is focused too much on the physical aspect of sex. If I am going to read a sex scene it needs to be as sophisticated and decent as possible. I'm not asking writers to use dramatic, flowery language but something very subtle, not all in your face. But as I mentioned before you have to be a very good writer. Jodi Picoult, one of my favorite authors writes the most elegant and subtle sex scenes ever. They are easy to read and never make me feel uncomfortable reading them.
Everyone has their own opinion about sex scenes but honestly, they're not a dire need in my opinion.
I was wondering when I'd see you again :) We don't have much of a back and forth now that I'm not at that X-place.
I get your hesitance for writing sex scenes. My thought is that one must practice writing it if they are going to eventually be comfortable doing it. A lot of people keep sex scenes on private blogs that are only made accessible when a reviewer comments and asks for it. That's on forums, though.I think to write one is a personal choice. I will say that one of the most realistic sex scenes I've ever read was written by a virgin. She just did a lot of research first. I agree about peer pressure on stories....I also think that that is a good sign. It means that those people feel that the relationship is developed enough for sex to seem natural. I've also seen that happen in some instances where I was looking at the "couple" and going . I think it's fair to say that I may be a little more conservative about the use of sex scenes. Still, I think they add a layer to stories and have a hard time reading a story about an adult relationship that doesn't include sex. I think writing the lead up and morning after is a good compromise. From a reader's perspective, though, it isn't the same. It's like what I mentioned about teasing the reader. I'd compare it to
I get your comments on the language. I think it is about finding what works for you. The more you become comfortable with your sexuality (which happens with age and relationships), the less ridiculous/offensive some words will sound to you. Of course, some will definitely still hit a nerve. Jodi Picoult has lovely sentence structure, is descriptive, and highlights emotions. I wonder how much of that is what you find lacking in some of the ff sex scenes?
Thanks for sharing your opinion :)
Date: Feb 10, 2015 01:06 pm Title: Let's Talk About Sex
*Peeks head in. Lol. I was giggling like a lunatic when I read the list of names that can be used to describe the female anatomy. (The 'sex all the time'meme didn't help my laughing factor. Sigh) I've used the word flower lollll but it was only in a moment of Jest Despite my descriptive nature when I write I cringe sometimes when I reread a sex scene after I write it. I'm not sure how the ones I have written play with readers. Is it corny? Is it 'pornographic'? Is it too wordy? I'm descriptive in general and sometimes a tangent or two might occur.
I, like you all don't enjoy sex scenes when one minute their dressed then the next their breathing heavy and sweating. The substance and extra bits go a long long way to make things appealing.
Michael having a 14in penis is utterly crazy as well. With how petite some of the OG's are, sex would hardly be a stroll in the park.
I'm guilty of sex scenes occurring only a few chapters in but in my defense my stories are never long and the time frame in the chapters are usually a notable span of time from the couple meeting. I think it flows with the plot as well. I think...
As for frequency guilty as well as I always document moments in the 'honeymoon' period but then it tapers off as the couple becomes more I enthralled with each other outside of the physical ironically enough.
One of my concerns is does the coupling seem authentic.
Sage words as always!!!
more soon <333
LOL. Well, you know where I stand with rushing sex. In some chapters it fits earlier in the story, I just don't like when it feels like each chapter is another sex scene. IMO that gets to be a bit much, UNLESS it is a tool to progress the story. For instance, then there is a long dry spell and they go through struggles. Even then, I feel like as much word length (if not more) should be spent on the dry spell as on the sex scenes. "Two weeks later" just isn't the same.
Now, I'd argue that this is just as true with erotica. Then again, I'm not immersed in the erotica world, so I could be wrong.
Thanks for popping in :)
Date: Feb 10, 2015 11:52 am Title: Let's Talk About Sex
Honey To The Bee: I heard from a very reliable source I trust that Michael does indeed have a sex tape.. You know Michael loved to document everything.. There is one but it's in a secured location.. Apparently it's with him and Lisa Marie.. I do not care for her too much, but I can tell you one thing if and when it does surface I will be watching with a bowl of popcorn and a bottle of wine.. I will be having an intimate viewing party with a few select friends to watch.. I will have no shame in watching.. Michael was into a lot freaky kinky things... Lol.. That's all I am going to say.. And deep down there is secret fantasy amongst the female fans that wished that Michael took their virginity.. So many virgin fans wanted him to be their first.. Hence , the reason why you see so many fan fics of original girls losing their virginity to Michael..
Yeah, it's pretty accepted that there was one and it's pretty widely known what he was into. He liked to try out different stuff.
Date: Feb 10, 2015 11:10 am Title: Let's Talk About Sex
Was kidding about the porn lol Though I'm still waiting on Michael's sex tape to surface I know someone has one. #jokingnotjoking
It's rare to find a virgin in her mid twenties anymore unless you're targeting a specific community/religion. It's even more rare that she's beautiful, great personality and a virgin too she'd need some major flaw to balance all that out. obviously it's not impossible, I just see a lot of it and we're all here to try and make our fics more original, right? I'm guilty of this btw but it's part of a devil/angel balance within the story.... etc.
I don't know what kind of flower you guys are thinking about... lol I use the word in real life too.
Suuuuure. You were totally kidding .
It's not common, but I wouldn't say it's rare. It's actually just not talked about much. It IS more rare that she's beautiful, modelesque, etc etc.
If it's a flower that actually grows in soil when watered, then I use the term, too. Otherwise, nope.
Date: Feb 10, 2015 11:03 am Title: Let's Talk About Sex
Hey girl! For starters, i will be replying to your email today.
For two, I'm currently at school (little leisure time) so im on my phone so pleaaase excuse the mistakes that may come along with this, LOL. Anyway this advice actually helped. I actually dread the moment when Semaj and Michael get to it. I feel like I already lost some reviewers except you, Tut, Helene, and Nene who are consistent reviews, not that I mind so much its just when the sex scene comes i dont want you guys to be like "uhhh thats it?" But this actually helped a tremendous amount. Gangsta Lovin is actually the longest fanfic thats gone without sex and im damn near 40 chapters in. I'm actually proud of that too!
I also learned that having sex every 4 chapters is truly unnecessary. Especially if they're teenagers. I honestly don't need a sex scene frequently in a fanfic, especially if it was overloaded and had too much emphasis on it in the beginning.
You are SPOT ON with the teasers. Its playful at first but after a while it gets annoying and I'm just like damnit are they gonna do it or not. I especially hate it when they're constantly interrupted. Like really? No private time at all? Now a couple of teasers aren't bad. I think Gangsta Lovin has had about 2 teasers in a good time period but im not just going to continue throwing teasers at you guys, thats so evil.
The thing about the virgins..... Yes. Even with me being a virgin i do find that the way Michael is described at times is unrealistic snd makes me fearful of the OG even if it is fiction. I try to alternate really. All of the stories I've written Michael has only been the virgin once. All my other Stacey and Michael stories she wasnt a vrigin and neither was he. The only story where my OG has actually been a vrigin is Gangsta Lovin which, i think, fits Semajs character pretty well.
One thing I do dislike about some sex scenes is that the girl gets pregnant two days later. I may not have paid too much attention when this segment came up in science but i do not think its possible to know of a pregnancy in two days? I've even read stories where one minute shes open against the door (fully clothed) and then the next couple of sentences they've reached a climax. No, sex scenes don't have to be long but when they only last a paragraph its just like..... *crickets* .... awkwaaard.. to me though! Haha. But thanks for anothrr good advice chapter!
Every 4 chapters? Where did you get that number from? Relax about the sex scene. Worst case scenario, you get some imput for future scenes.
Lol you totally feel me on those teasers. Words right out of my mouth.
I don't like when the girl takes a pregnancy test the next day. Ummm. No. They don't work like that. Pregnant looking, the next day? I've yet to see that. That's ridiculous.
Date: Feb 10, 2015 10:10 am Title: Let's Talk About Sex
well this is a great lesson.
To be honest, fics of the erotica genre used to make me feel soooooo uncomfy for some reason..not sure why..maybe because I am fine with PG-13 if it has good content..but discovered some of the wellwritten fics in the adult section and I started to enjoy reading sex scenes if they're well written and I also get butterflies in my stomach..still have yet to feature it in my fics and fear I'll only mess it up so for now I am happy to leave it alone..but time will tell how long that lasts
But what's a major turn off for me is if there's plotless sex..no proper development at all or if it is like a porno like you say..not to mention there was more to Michael than sex..he was also a family man and plus there's the friendship side..and other aspects.
I think it's easy for them to make a person uncomfortable. Especially with a real life person in them. I get very uncomfortable when the writing is awkward, the scene is awkward, and/or it's too much. If you feel that uncomfortable writing it, I'd suggest finding a beta reader to read the first scene you write, before you post it.
Your major turn off is the same as mine. Especially when I feel like it is detracting from plot development.
Date: Feb 10, 2015 10:07 am Title: Let's Talk About Sex
And how come like so many OGs happen to be virgins? I'm partially guilty of this too...But It cracks me up when I read a sex scene with Michael and a virgin. The way his size is described there's a rare chance the girl is going to survive making love all night long and feel GOOD. Some times it takes multiple attempts (on seperate occasions) for a larger guy to get it in with a virgin. I mean obviously these are fantasies but if you're going for realistic... the first time is not glamorous by means.
I'm no sex expert though... I need to watch some porn and read some sex tips before I attempt my next scene.
btw I have used the word flower! It sounds a lot prettier than pussy. lol
I think there are a few reasons: One, people are like OMG I wIsh hE waS Mi 1st. Two, to make the OG perfect. Three, the writer is actually a virgin. It isn't abnormal for someone to lose their virginity in the mid teens to mid twenties.
Agreed, the pain and the natural reaction for a woman's body to tense up, are major factors that many often forget.
Be careful about what kind of porn you watch.
When I see the word "flower" --> . You actually don't even need a word, when you think about it.
Date: Feb 10, 2015 09:38 am Title: Let's Talk About Sex
I feel like the clock is ticking towards the day when I have to sit down and right the sex scene. It's coooomiiiiiiing (that's what she said???)
I think I'm just gonna try to go for natural sex rather than romance novel sex and hopefully it'll turn out better that way.
omg I'm crying though at the language/measurements thing. "His thick rod was exactly 14.9834 inches. I know this because I measured it beforehand. And no, his 14 inch penis did not hurt at all and it was the best sex of my life. The end." No people nooooo. Euphemisms make me roll my eyes 9/10, but it's hard to write without them.
I guess I better start planning...!
p.s. WRITE, pls! Do you write like non fanfic stuff? Come onnnn join in on the fun!
My work is essentially 60+% writing. Some days, 90-100%.
It will turn out better that way. Add in "flower" or "heart", refer to her boobs as her "peaks" that show her "want", and repeatedly use the term, "plunge". #whatnottodo