I never thought I woud have to live that this early.

School was just over and I was on my road to get home. My thoughts were about this new phone mum had offered me and wich I wanted to be disconnected of for once, and the impressive number of people I had seen crying today, in my beautiful city of San Francisco. With my old MP3 and my headphones - I was never removing from my ears - I couldn't hear what they were talking about, but I knew my mother would know, so I wasn't caring that much. It was getting really hot days after days and I was dreaming about a fruit juice, we were definitly too tight in this little bus. Almost every people here had a sad face and two girls haden't stopped to whip som tears from they eyes since I was in this oven. I arrived at my bus stop, walked to my house and opened the door. Mum suddently got out of the kitchen when she heard me. Her face had never looked that sad.

- Oh darling I'm so sorry...

And then she hugged me. I left my MP3 fall, surprised.

- What's happening mum ? I don't understand.

Her eyes caught mine and she pushed herself back.

- So you don't know...

- Knowing what ? You're scaring me...

She turned to the living room, purcing her lips. The TV was on, I could hear screams and cries and then, the voice of a journalist. I threw my things on the floor, and slowly made some steps to the room. The first thing I saw was this big red tape, at bottom of the screen, with wrote the painful white words  : Michael Jackson death.

My heart stopped, I wasn't hearing anything anymore, my vision was just a blurred picture where everything was moving so slow. This is what I felt, before the big pain. When all my senses came back to life, I felt my stomach, my breast and my head hurt so bad that I had to get on my knees. 

- I know this is hard...

Mum tried to confort me. She put her hands on my shoulders, I was suffering even worse.

- L...Leave me alone !

- Come on... Jo...

I ran to my room and locked the door. It was so hard to breath that I tought I was dying. The worst was his smile on the posters. I was crying more than I ever did before. 

- WHY MICHAEL, WHY ?! I started scream, WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT TO ME ! I FUCKING LOVE YOU...I...I love you so much...

The emotion was so intense I fell asleep ten minutes later with, against my chest, one of the t-shirt his beautiful face was on. 

I woke up the next day, at 3 am, everything was dark and I was fully clothed. I took a large sleeping t-shirt and a minishort and decided to take my phone to know more about this tragic event, where I could meet other fans for tributes and that kind of stuff. I took back my bag from the corridor and turned my cell on. I had 15 messages from friends sharing the news. I decided I would go to the meeting after school today and that I would also try to join at L.A too, soon. My wallpaper was that poster of This Is It. When I saw it, I began to cry again. I had two places for this concert at London, just in front of the scene and me and Kyla, my friend, were supposed to go. It would have been in one week and I could have see the man who changed my life but destiny had another plan. 

I went to the first meeting and then I took a tran tiket to get to L.A the next day. There was so much fans crying and singing everywhere, candles were burning and his star on the hollywood boulevard was covered with flowers and drawings. I was about to drop a balloon when I  saddly thought that love for him wasn't that showed some years ago when he was dragged to court... But now, it was too late. I got home later that I was supposed too.

- Where were you Jo ?! I waited for you at dinner but you never came.

- Mum... I was at L.A... Remember ? And I'm not hungry anyway.

- It's been three days you don't eat anything anymore !

- This isn't true... It's been two days and a half. 

- Now sit and take something !

- I'm not hungry.

- Okay, look, life doesn't stop because a celebrity dies ! There's so much people dying everyday. 

- Mum, let me tell you something. When you love someone, for real, with every single feelings you have, when this person saved you life and gave you happiness for 7 years and that this same person suddently dies, whether or not this person is known, you feel pain ! And I began to cry again. And I was loving Michael like he was the father I never had because the true one you know what ? He left us. 

She looked at me, affected.

- I'm...

- No, don't say you're sorry again okay ? Just leave me recover, alone.

The worst after that, was the funeral on the 7th of July. I stayed like an idiot, watching the ceremony, asking to myself how this doctor could have been that neglecting with Michael... 

My sweet angel had spread his wings and I could only pray and let the time pass on my injuries.

It was like tears would never stop.

Like pain would never disappear.