Chapter Twenty

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"Oh Nana, that must have been so hard." she said as she wiped a tear away from my eye after I had started to tear up while recalling those memories.

I nodded, "I didn't think about that though. I had to stay strong for your mother, aunt and uncles. I was the only parent they had so I still had that responsibility to uphold."

"Of course. I'm just glad you managed to get rid of that creep of an ex husband while with Paris, Michael and Prince."

I laughed, "Well unfortunately I wasn't totally rid of Steven."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, after I had spent the night with my children and got them settled down. I made my way back to Los Angeles because Michael had been transfered to the hospital there at the resquest of my step mother Gloria."

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Seeing Michael's lifeless body was the most terrifying and heart breaking experience I had ever had. His skin was grey, his hair a mess and he was so thin that his bones were very pronounced. The sight of him like this also made me angry because he may have been fifty years old but he should have been healthy. He should not be like this! He should be at home with the kids and I playing with them and teaching them how to dance. In my mind, it was the press and his precious fans that did this to him. The fans and the media predators did this to him, they did not deserve the amount of love and affection he had towards them. What they did deserve was to put his plan into action. They deserved to lose him, "Oh Michael. They don't deserve you anymore."

"No they don't." it was Jermaine; he had to come to meet me when I called him on the way to the hospital to help me put his plan in motion, "How is he?"

"He's alive. But to the rest of the world he's dead." I turned around to face him, "It's time to honor his wishes. Contact your person at the tabloid."

Jermaine was quite taken aback by my sudden change of mind because up until now I had my reservations about Michael's plan, "Are you sure you want to do this?"

I looked back at Michael, "Look at him Jermaine. Don't you think he's suffered enough? End his suffering."

Jermained had been weary about Michael's plan as well and it worried him how much trouble we could get into if someone was to find out. But when he saw the state of his little brother in the hospital bed, he knew he had no other choice but he also worried what affect it would have on the children when they saw it in the papers and on television that their father was dead, "What about the children?"

"We've already explained it to Prince and Paris. Blanket and Stephanie are too young to understand. They'll be fine."

"Alright. I just pray for your sake that he makes it."

I felt a tear escape from my eye as he placed his hand on my shoulder and left the room. When the news story surfaced that singer Michael Jackson had died, I was happy that he was in a coma in a private room of the hospital and wasn't able to see the chaos that was taking place outside the hospital. Thousands of people were lined up outside both the hospital and Neverland chanting his name. I was thankful he was still unconscious because he would have felt embarassed over the display of attention and then he would have felt bad that he was lying to them. I also knew it was only a matter of time before reporters and paparazzi would be in the hospital wanting to get a snap shot of his dead body.
That's why I knew it was important to move him as soon as possible to cover our tracks. So when Gloria came into the room to check his vitals, I asked her how soon he could be moved.

Gloria wasn't sure it was such a good idea to move him as the ride from Neverland was too harsh as it was, "He's still far too weak yet. He needs a couple of days before he stablizes."

"But Gloria, he doesn't have a couple of days. the press already knows he has died. If he stays here too long they'll find it was a hoax."

Gloria was not fond of the idea of being a part of lying to the whole world, but she was equally not as fond of getting caught either. So she knew it was important to keep him a secret, "I suppose that's true. Can you give me until tomorrow night? He should be stable enough to be moved by then."

I agreed to that, "But remember it's important to keep quiet about this. No one can know he's here."

Gloria nodded, "So while he's here we'll register him under John Smith."

That name was too generic for my peacock, whether he was going into hiding or not, he needed something that suited him and his new name would do just that, "No. His name is Joseph Peacocke."

Since she had worked for famous people who enjoyed discretion before, she did not question the name changes as she had heard all sorts of names over the years, "But Joseph Peacocke is definitely a new one." she told me as she wrote the new name on his chart. Her pager went off, "Well I have to go. Take all the time with him that you need. But I suggest you also take care of yourself."

It was sweet that Gloria cared about my well being as much as his, but I had no intention of going anywhere. There was no way that I was leaving him alone in the hospital. I knew my children were in good hands with their grandparents and Aunt Janet. So I wasn't worried about them. I was going to stay with Michael until he was able to be moved to our home in Vancouver. Which is what I told Steven when he called me to check on me, "We'll be able to move him tomorrow night."

I could tell he still wasn't fond of this idea by the tone in his voice, "So what are you going to do until then?"

"I'm staying here at the hospital with him."

He groaned.

"Steven, I am not leaving him alone."

"What are you going to do if this gets out? You can't keep Mr. Bigshot a secret for ever."

Even though he had a point, I intended to prove him wrong because I have been able to stay out of the spot light for the last fifteen years of my life and I could certainly keep the former Michael Jackson out of the spot light to give him the life that he's always wanted, "You're wrong. I can and I will. Now are you going to be alright until I can make arrangements to move him?"

"don't worry about me. It's rather cozy here at your apartment. Just take care of yourself."

I knew his concern was only half hearted, but yet it was still comforting all the same, "Thank you Steven."

"Don't mention it. Take care of yourself. Call if you need anything."

I couldn't help but smile at his concern, "Thank you. I will." When I hung up my phone, I leaned up against the wall outside of Michael's room took a deep breath thinking about everything that had happened and thinking about Michael lying in the hospital bed, "Oh Peacock." I sighed and went back in to sit with him. I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew I was awoken by my father's soft voice and touch to my shoulder, "Darling. Wake up."

I was relieved when I saw my father standing beside me, "Daddy." I reached up to give him a hug.

"How is he?"

I looked back at Michael, "He's weak. But he's alive. Gloria has him sedated so that he can be strong enough to be moved."

"How are the children?"

I sat back down in my chair and told him that Prince, Paris and Blanket were still with Janet at the Ranch and Stephanie was in Vancouver with Zarah, "The oldest two are worried and I think Blanket knows that there's something going on. But Janet is keeping them calm along with Katherine and Joe."

"Alright. How are you?"

I sighed, "Dad I'm the best I can be while he's in here." I yawned

Pierre shook his head as if he was displeased, "Darling, you need to take care of yourself too. Don't you think Michael would tell you that if he could?"

It was true, Michael was always telling me that I should be taking care of myself instead of worrying about everyone else but how could I do that when he was lying in the hospital bed, "But dad, I couldn't possibly worry about myself right now." I once again took Michael's cold hand in mine and told Pierre that I couldn't leave him, "I can't leave him alone."

"Darling, you won't be any good to him unless you get some sleep. If it helps, I'll stay with Michael while you go back to your apartment." I tried to protest but

I knew my father was set on this idea, and like me, once he was set on an idea, there was no arguing with him so I conceded, "Fine, you win. You call me if anything changes."

"I will Darling. Don't worry about that."

I bent down to kiss Michael's forehead before I left the hospital room and made my way back through town to my old home. Apparently I had forgotten that Steven was staying at my apartment because when I arrived I was shocked to see that my door was open but when I walked in and saw him sitting on the sofa eating pizza and watching television. He was just as shocked to see me standing there, "Nicole." He turned off the television and stood up, "I didn't expect to see you here."

I shrugged, "Yes, well my dad sent me here to get some sleep"

"That's a good idea. You look exhausted Nicole."

The truth was, I felt exhausted and rightly so because I had been awake since we left Vancouver and that was two days ago, "I am exhausted. You settling in okay?"

Steven laughed and shook his head, "Nicole, don't worry about me. Now go to bed. I left your bedroom free. Now go."

As much as I wanted to argue with him, I simply did not have the energy to do so so I just nodded and made my way to the master bedroom where I showered and dressed in a pair of grey sweat pants and the green t-shirt Michael had given me for my overnight stays for work. When I came out of the ensuite bathroom, I sauntered sleepily over to my side of the bed and sat down on the plush comforter. I then looked at my side table to see the pictures I kept there; A picture of Michael and our four children from Stephanie and Blanket's second birthday, a picture of the two of us from our wedding and my favorite picture of them all it was a close up I had taken of him one day on our honeymoon in Ireland when I was goofing around with a camera, he had black stubble around his mouth and jaw, his hair flowing down on either side of his face and his brown eyes looking intensly at me. Seeing that picture in particular made me miss the fun, exciting and loving man he was and not the sick and fragile man that I left in the hospital. The thought of this made me cry and not quiet sobs either but rather the sobs that let all the emotion I possessed come pouring out. I was so loud in fact that soon my door came crashing open and before I could tell him to get out, he was beside me on the bed holding me in his arms, "Shh. It's going to be okay Nicole."

I didn't care that it was Steven holding me but I had to admit it was nice to havesomeone consoling me and not having to be strong anymore. It was odd though, even though I despised Steven because of the mistakes that he had made years ago, I still felt safe enough to admit my fear, "Steven, I can't lose him. I just can't."

He moved his hand gently through my hair while still holding me close, "I know baby. I know." and before I knew what was happening, his mouth had captured mine in a kiss.

Immediately I snapped back to reality and froze, "What are you doing?"

He realized by my tone of voice that he had overstepped and he pulled away, "I don't know. I got lost in the moment I guess."

I swallowed hard, "Steven, I'm flattered but I love my husband and you- you're dating my sister."

This statement changed the atmosphere in the room straight to nuclear, "God Nicole." he got up from the bed, "When are you going to realize it? You are waiting for something that is a lost cause."

I sat back on the bed bringing my knees to my chest, "Steven, I made him a promise eight years ago that I would be there for him."

"Did you ever think that that promise might be too much for you?"
I shook my head, "No. As long as there is breath in his lungs I will continue to be there for him."

"I just hope you know what you're doing. Not just for you but for your children as well." and he left my bedroom closing the door as he went.

Once I was by myself again, I flopped down on my matress while thinking I knew exactly what I was doing and for the first time in eight years, I wanted someone who was not family to know how much I adored my life as Mrs. Michael Jackson. Since I knew Steven would not say anything to anyone, and was the one with the most disbelief I felt that he was the one who needed to see me with Michael. So the next morning when I finally got up, I got dressed in old blue jeans, a red blouse and a black cardigan and made my way out to the living room where I found Steven sitting on the sofa looking intently at the screen of his phone.

"Hi." was all I was able to say before he looked up at me.

He put his phone into his shirt pocket and stood up, "Hi." He noticed that I was dressed, "Are you heading out already?"

"Yeah." I shrugged.

He took a step forward, "Look Nicole, I'm sorry about -"

"It's fine. If I were in your shoes. I probably would have done the same thing."
He sighed in relief.

"But I was wondering, would you mind coming to the hospital with me? We're moving him today. That means you'll be back in Vancouver before you know it."

Steven liked the sound of being back in Vancouver so much that he picked up the nap sack that he had brought with him and slung it on his shoulder, "Alright then. Let's go."

When Steven and I got back to the hospital, there was a surprise waiting for me; Michael was awake, "Oh my gosh Michael." I rushed to his bedside to hold his hand. He still had a breathing tube in his mouth and he was still very weak so he couldn't speak but he still tried his hardest to squeeze my hand.

Gloria was affraid that my rushing him was too much for him, "Easy Nicole. He's still very weak."

I looked at my step mother checking the various monitors and machines that were around Michael, "How is he awake? You told me it would take another week before he regained consciousness."

She shrugged, "he is a strong willed man. We'll need to sedate him again for transport but he wanted to stay awake long enough to see you." she scowled at Steven.

Steven took that has his cue to leave the room, "I'll wait out in the hall."

I nodded still not breaking the eye contact I had with Michael, "I'm so happy to see you Peacock." I whispered.

He moved his fingers in attempt to squeeze my hand then his eyes darted towards the door. I guessed he was referring to Steven so I explained that my sister sent him with me, "he's just here for moral support. Even though it's not necessary."

"Alright Mr. Jackson, you've seen her. We need to sedate you now."

Michael nodded and closed his eyes, still not letting go of my hand. Gloria then explained that he had been anxious when he didn't see me when he woke up, "I told him we'd keep him awake until you got here."

I smiled kissing his hand, "Well I'm here now baby. Just sleep." he nodded closing his eyes once more as Gloria injected the sedative into his left arm.

"You can sit with him now until we are ready to move him. If you'd like."

I wouldn't be anywhere else except beside my beautiful man, "Thank you Gloria."

"You are most welcome. You definitely have a fighter here."

Michael definitely was a fighter, he had been in the music industry for forty five years, had various health issues and all sorts of garbage told about him but yet he still pulled through and because of all of that I was confident he was going to pull through this time, "Yes he definitely is that."

Once Gloria left the room, Steven felt it was safe enough to come back in but once he saw me with Michael, his attitude seemed to change towards the entire situation.

"You really do love him don't you?" Steven asked me as he watched me sit beside Michael's sleeping body.

I was too emotional to retort with a snappy comeback, I was just happy he was able to be awake for a little while and that he was on the road to recovery, "More than you'll ever know."

Steven then cautiously placed his hand on my shoulder and said something surprising, "I'm sorry about my attitude towards him. I can see now, that I was wrong."

I turned on my stool to face him still not letting go of Michael's hand, "What made you change your mind?"

"Seeing you when you saw that he was awake. I don't think I've ever seen anyone that happy. The way he looked at you though was even more so. He looked like a starving man seeing food for the first time. You two really have something special together, don't you?"

I smiled, "Special doesn't even begin to describe our relationship. There is nothing we wouldn't do for each other."

"I can see that. But I think I'll leave you and Mr. Jackson alone."

I smiled at him calling Michael Mr. Jackson instead of the usual Mr. Bigshot, "Thank you Steven."