Sunlight escaped over the cityscape, and bright beams of light trickled in the windows of the small condo I was renting downtown.   The small beams of light reflecting against the paisley colored walls and the light yellow carpet,  I felt the warmth California breeze drifting through the open window and I pulled my bright pink robe closer to my chest and took a sip of coffee.

It was crazy how early everyone started their morning in the city.

My eyes roamed over the busy streets and crowded sidewalks, and wearily I thought about the adjustment I had had to make moving. Everything felt completely different moving from Neverland where everything was so peaceful to downtown LA.   It was a lot more convenient being this close to the label and the studio where I had been working on my album, but there were a lot of things that I missed about being out of town.

Like, for example, my privacy.

Michael's home was built nestled in the mountains, and security had been so tight I had never had to worried about making my way through hoards of fans or reporters unless I was coming through the main gate, and even that had been limited.  Here in the city, with the launch of my music and all of the things swarming in my personal life it was hard for me to step foot even into the hallway of my condo.

I had a feeling that would be worse now that people knew Michael was here visiting.

Making a mental note to text Frank and make sure they had bumped up security, I took another sip of my coffee.

"Morning Lex."

Michael's soft groggy voice sounded from the hallway, and I felt butterflies flutter in my stomach hearing his voice.  Turning around to give him a smile, I self-consciously wrapped my arms around my waist and let my eyes soak in his form.  Dressed in red and white checkered bottoms, Michael's long black hair fell loosely over his bare shoulders and my eyes widened in surprise seeing his exposed chest.   Not able to keep from blushing, I shot him a quick smile and turned back to look out the window.

"Morning." I choked, looking down to my mug.

Michael's reply was muffled from a yawn, and I was relieved realizing he hadn't seen me blush.  Clearing my throat I turned my eyes back down to the street and I saw someone waving patiently out their window. 

"Move out of the way you mother f-"

The man's ranting was cut off by the blast of a horn, and I rolled my eyes seeing the man in front of him hop out of his car to confront him. 

"Looks like paparazzi to me."

Michael's voice startled me, and in surprise I turned to see that he had come up to stand beside me.  His eyes assessing the busy street knowingly, I felt the butterflies multiply in my stomach and I glanced back down at the road to see that he was right, both men had elaborate camera setups loaded in the back of their vehicles.  Releasing a small sigh I looked straight down in front of my condo and saw a hoard of photographers down below.  Realizing both of us better get away from the windows before they looked up and started snapping pictures I took a step back from the window and closed the sunny yellow curtains.

"Do they ever sleep?" I muttered, lifting my mug to my lips.

Michael chuckled softly beside me, and I looked over at him.  A soft tendril of hair falling over his forehead, without thinking I reached up and brushed it back in place.   The stray strand felt soft against my fingertips, and his eyes widened in surprise at the unexpected touch. 

"Thanks..."

There was a moment of silence as both of us tried to recover from the contact, and I quickly looked back down in my mug and turned towards the kitchen to avoid eye contact.  Brushing my hand along the rim of the cup, I heard Michael clear his throat and I swallowed a lump in my throat.

"So what's on the schedule for today?"

Shaking my head, I forced myself into motion and I walked over to the kitchen and set my mug on the counter.  Walking over to the sink I turned on the water and ran my hands under the faucet.  The water felt cool against my fingers, and the white tile floor beneath my bare toes created a chill down my spine as I turned off the water.  Reaching beside me to grab a violet colored hand towel I looked back over at him.

"I'm rehearsing one of the songs off of my cd for the AMA's next week."

"You're performing?"

Michael's voice mirrored the surprise in his features, and I nodded my head and smiled seeing his eyebrows lift.   "Yeah, a duet."

"With who?"

"A country artist."

Michael's eyes roamed over my apartment he nodded his head slowly.  "And afterwards?"

"Then I'm all yours."

Had I really just said that?

"If only..."

Michael's reply was whispered so softly I barely heard it, and I felt my throat tighten hearing the longing in his voice.  Inhaling a deep breath I ran my hands along the edge of the counter and I hesitantly looked up at him.  His lips parted slightly, Michael's eyes were clouded over with emotion and I felt my voice hitch.  Frozen at the counter...neither of us where sure what to say and I reached up and brushed a hand against my neck and looked away. 

"I-I need to get ready."

I rushed around the edge of the counter and I made my way into the hallway and headed down to my bedroom.  Quickly opening the door, I stepped inside and inhaled the vanilla raisin diffuser.  Pushing the door closed with my leg, I leaned back against it and sighed.

If I planned on us keeping our distance...it was going to be a long visit.
____________________________________________________________________________________

"Standby camera 1"

"Standby camera 7"

"Standby camera 12"

"Standby camera 17"

"60 seconds and counting everybody."

Standing behind a large silver tower, a few stage techs helped me wire up correctly in my microphone and I peered out at the large, empty arena. I felt sick to my stomach, knowing that in a few days all of those seats would be filled and I sucked in a deep breath and laid a hand against my stomach.  Dressed in a long purple and yellow floral dress, I was getting ready to do my first run through of the day and I was having a terrible time fighting the nervous anticipation. 

"This is different, isn't it?" Michael chuckled beside me, peering over my shoulder at the stage.  "You  being the one on stage and me being the one watching."

I turned and looked at him, and I felt the tech loop the final wires over my ear.   Wearing a dark black sweater and tight black jeans, Michael's hair was clasped behind his neck in a silver clip and his dark brown eyes twinkled as he smiled at me teasingly. 

"No kidding.  I think I'm going to throw up."

Michael's eyes softened, and stepping behind me Michael wrapped his arms around me reassuringly.

"You'll be fine.  I'll be here the entire time."

My legs felt weak, feeling Michael's strong arms wrap around my shoulders, and I leaned back against him and inhaled his scent. "Are you going to be here for the show too?"

"Yeah.  I'm nominated for a few things."

"Alright Lexi, we're ready for you.  Brad's queued on the other end of the stage."

Michael squeezed my shoulders one final time and released me, and I felt my heart leap into my throat.  Peaking around the silver beam one final time, I squared my shoulders and my light silver heels clicked against the black stage as I walked over to my mark.

"Good luck" Michael softly whispered behind me.

Running my hand along the narrow purple band at my waist, I took one final look at my dress and I watched Brad take his place on the other end of the stage.  Slightly nervous about the run through, I was even more nervous that Michael would be hearing me sing in person a song that I had written about our breakup.  Trying to push my worry aside I glanced towards the edge of the stage and heard the opening chords of the song filled the room. 

Glancing back at Michael one final time, Michael was leaning against a wall with his arms crossed and he shot me a wink.  Too nervous to smile back I turned around hesitantly and I searched the stage until I saw Brad walking towards the center in a light beige cowboy hat, dark brown shirt, and a pair of jeans. 

Leaning his head down to look at his guitar, fog lifted from the stage as Brad moved closer and I stepped out on the stage and held back the bottom of my skirt that fanned out at my hips.  The air lifting it up in a fluttering billow, I listened as Brad sang his part and then joined in.

"Remember the airport dropping me off, we were kissing goodbye and we couldn't stop"

Brad's fingers moved swiftly on his guitar and we met at the center of the stage and locked eyes.

 "I felt bad cause you missed your flight, but that meant we had one more night...."

A few other guitarists on the stage made it possible for Brad to take a break from playing, and like we had rehearsed a few weeks ago he took a step towards me and placed a hand on my thigh. 

"Do you remember how it used to be, we turned off the lights and we didn't just sleep.."

"CUT!"

I opened my mouth to sing my next line, and raised my eyebrows in surprise when the music stopped.  Shooting a curious look down at the bottom of the stage to see if it had been one of the people in charge that told us to stop I was surprised to see them standing next to each other pointing to the edge of the stage.  Curiously I followed their gaze, and surprised I realized they were staring at Michael who had come to stand a few yards away.  Glaring possessively between us, Michael's arms were crossed and his face was flushed in irritation. 

I knew that look.

Realizing that he was about ten seconds away from marching over here, I quickly stepped back so that Brad's hand would slide off my thigh and I turned and walked over to where Michael was. 

"What's going on?" 

People chattered in hushes whispers on both sides of us, and I knew they were watching our conversation eagerly hoping to witness some gossip first hand.  Keeping my focus on Michael I pushed my microphone down so our conversation wouldn't be broadcast for everyone to hear and I ran a hand through my hair in frustration.  Ready to get the rehearsal over with so Michael and I could go home and spend some time together, I tapped my foot impatiently and waited for him to answer.

Still glaring back to where I had been a moment before, I heard Brad laughing behind me with a couple of the guitarists on stage and tuning his guitar for the next take.

"Was that all really necessary?" Michael said gruffly, shooting me a disbelieving look. 

Confused as to what exactly he was talking about, I shrugged my shoulders and raised my eyebrows.  "Us..singing?"

"Him accosting you."  Michael's chin lifted stubbornly in the air, and I saw a glint of irritation in his eyes.  Reaching forward to touch his arm I accidentally stepped on the hem of my dress and I scooted a bit to the side to release it.

"Michael..."  I huffed, untangling my sandal. "He's married"

Strands of hair fell over my eyes as I straightened and glanced up at him and Michael's arm swung down knocking my hand off.  Raising my eyebrows in surprise I realized that Michael's jealousy went a lot deeper than I had initially realized and I coughed, trying not to giggle.

It was kind of nice seeing him jealous since I had spent so many rehearsals watching Natalie rub all over him.

 "He was still accosting you."

My eyes glittered merrily, and I put a hand over my mouth to keep from smirking. "Michael..."

He watched me trying to control my laughter, and the lines on his forehead deepened.  "He was practically trying to have sex with you on stage."

 "Are you kidding me?"

"Don't act like you didn't notice.  You were giving him a "come hither" look."

"A what?! Michael have you gone crazy?"

Michael crossed his arms in front of his chest, and I heard the whispers of a couple of people close to us increase seeing the frustrated look on Michael's expression.  Deciding to try and move our conversation further out of earshot I quickly turned and motioned for a break and then tugged Michael's hand free. 

"Follow me..."

I drug both of us back behind the stage to a small private room that was being used for storage and I opened the door and stepped inside.  Releasing Michael's hand, I watched him step inside behind me and shut the door.  The room had a musty smell, and I crinkled my nose in disgust and took special care not to lean up against any of the stacked dusty equipment.  Running my hand through my hair again I sighed impatiently and looked back up at Michael.  Glaring stubbornly down at me, Michael crossed his arms again and leaned against the door.

"You don't have to do any of this you know.  I'll take care of you."

So that's what part of this was about.

"Michael..."

Michael's eyes clouded over, and he looked away from me to a metal rack filled with boxes.   Noticing the change in him I stood in place for a moment, not sure what to say, and then I sighed and glanced down to the floor.

"Michael we aren't even together."

"Yet.."

The words were spoken with urgency, and hearing the passion behind his tone I glanced up to see him staring at me.  Swallowing, I looked away again.

"We aren't even sure that's going to change, remember? We talked about taking things slow."

"Do you still love me?"

I blinked, surprised.

"What?"

"Do you still love me?"

Conflicting emotions rolled over me, and nodding my head yes I blew a breath between my teeth and looked up.

"Yes, but that doesn't mean..."

I felt Michael's arms wrap around my waist, and I looked at him surprised as he leaned his forehead against mine.  Feeling his warm breath against my nose, Michael's eyes flashed with unabridged intimacy and his fingers caressed against the silk of my dress. Wanting to give into him and kiss him and at the same time wanting to pull back and put some distance between us I was paralyzed in fear.

Michael, seeing the fear in my eyes, searched my face tenderly.

"It means everything. Lexi look in my eyes and tell me you think I would do anything to hurt you."

Stubbornly I looked away from him.

"Lexi..."

His soft pleas forced my attention back and I blinked back a couple of tears and locked eyes with him.

"Just please...try to believe me."

My heart told me to believe him, but I couldn't think being wrapped up in his arms and I stepped out of his embrace and backed up. 

"I need...to get back on stage."

"Lexi..."

Without looking at him I quickly walked past him and opened the door.  Hearing him still calling my name behind me I sped up my pace until I was to the beginning of the stage again and I reached up and brushed away the tears falling down my cheeks so that no one would notice I had been upset. 

"You know, at some point you're going to have to decide what you believe."

Frank, munching on a bag of potato chips, stood a few feet away from me and stared at me knowingly.  Sighing, I nodded my head in agreement.

"I know"

"When exactly do you think that will be?"

I shrugged my shoulders helplessly and looked back to where Michael was approaching from.  His face looking defeated, my heart sunk.

"I don't know...I want to but-"

"Whatever you decide, you always have me."

Frank tossed the chips on a stool and pulled me into a hug.  Hearing his heartbeat beneath his coat I felt secure wrapped up in his arms and I took a long breath and closed my eyes.

"I'm glad."