Four Months Later

"Lexi...come on.  It's time to take your life back."

Letting out a frustrated sigh, I reached up and ran a hand through my hair.  Frank's cologne mingled with his musk aftershave and I looked up at him from the couch.  Standing in front of me, Frank's eyebrows were knit together in concern and his lips were drawn in a firm line. 

"You can't just hibernate in here the rest of your life."

Frank's dark brown dress shoes clicked against the black and white streaked marble and I snuggled deeper into the sofa and hugged a soft white pillow to my chest.  Swallowing back a lump in my throat I nodded my head slowly and looked down to the coffee table.  Laying a hand protectively on my leg Frank squatted down in front of me and reached forward to touch the side of my face.

"Lele?"

Inhaling a deep breath, Frank's hand felt warm against my cheek as I turned to look at him.  His dark blue eyes clouded with concern, I blinked a couple of times to keep from crying and took a shaky breath.

"I know..."I finally started slowly.  Unable to meet Frank's gaze, I felt Frank's hand slip from my face as I looked down to my bright pink yoga pants.  Memories from the last time I had attempted to leave Frank's condo assaulted me. "But his face is everywhere..."  I said emphatically.  "How can i leave the house when as soon as I do he's everywhere?  Magazine covers, newspapers, billboards, radio stations, merchandise... I even saw Michael Jackson lighters and bubble gum.  How can I move past all of this when I can't go ten seconds without even seeing his face?

Frank let out a long drawn out sigh.  Dressed in a chocolate brown leather jacket, a white dress shirt, and a pair of jeans I watched the arms of his coat crinkle as he stood up.  

Adjusting slightly on the couch, I shifted my leg underneath me and Frank took the seat beside me and wrapped his arm around my waist.  Reaching up, I pulled my hair away from my shoulder and leaned my head down on his shoulder.

Frank gently tugged the pillow from my arms and laid it down beside us.  Scooting closer to him I slid my hand underneath his coat and I felt his heartbeat underneath my fingertips.  The slow, even rhythm helped to soothe the intense pain I was feeling at even the mention of Michael.  Feeling his arm tighten around the waist of my light grey sweatshirt I took a steadying breath and drew circles along his chest.

"I know it isn't easy.  But he's always going to be everywhere.  That isn't going to go away."  Frank lifted his free hand and ran it through my hair affectionately.

  "The only way to move forward is to get a life of your own, a separate life."

Did I even know how to do that anymore?

"But he was my life..." 

Frank nodded in acknowledgement.  "Then we create a new one."

"That's easier said than done..." 

"Not necessarily...get dressed."

__________________________________________________________________________________

"Frank?? ARE YOU INSANE?"

Furious, I slung my metallic gray purse over my shoulder and made my way down the hallway to the elevators.  My heels clicking against the light grey tiles, overhead lights flickered against the amber colored walls.  Keeping my eyes trained on the elevator I felt Frank's hand firmly grab my arm.

"Lexi!"  

His voice sounded breathless, but still furious over what had just happened I keep walking quickly.

"Wait!  Please! Just here me out."

Frank's hand tightened around my arm and I halted grudgingly.  Narrowing my eyes I turned to look at him and took a step back so that he would let go of me.  Crossing my arms expectantly I cocked an eyebrow and tapped my foot impatiently.

"You had NO right..." i started, nodding my head back torwards the conference room.  "To do that."

Frank held both of his hands up in surrender and took a tenative step forward.  

"I know...but-"

"I haven't even ever SHOWN you that journal.  How the hell did you get ahold of it?"

Frank's eyes widened and his lips parted slightly.  "I, uh....found it in your closet."

He was snooping through my closet??

Shooting him a look of disgust I flung my arms to my sides and turned around to head back to the elevator.

"Lele! No it isn't like that..."  

Frank's hand grabbed at my arm again to stop me.  "The other day when you asked me to grab your shoes for you it slipped when I hit the shelf above it and fell open.  I couldn't help but read it...and well..."

Knowing at least it had initally been accidental eleviated at least some of my anger and I turned back around to look at him.  Frank dropped his hold on my arm and searched my face.

"I couldn't believe it Lexi...the stuff you had written-"

I folded my arms back across my chest. "Was private."

Frank nodded his head in acknowledgment.  "Was private...your right.  But was also incredible."

I was angry...beyond angry.  But somewhere deep inside of me, a small part of me warmed hearing Frank's praise and knowing that he had believed in it, in me, enough to set up the meeting I had just stormed out of.   He had always been there for me.  I had to remember that even as angry as I was.  But still, why had he stolen my songs and done something as extreme as this?

"I still don't understand any of this.." I said waving my arm around the room.  "Why?"

Frank gave me a disbelieving look and tilted his head.  "Lexi why do you think?  You've been a zombie for three months.  I was trying to help you get a life of your own."

"This still feels extreme."

Frank shrugged his shoulders and his jacket puckered as he reached up and brushed both hands through his hair.

"It is extreme...i'll admit. But when I was reading through them someone else walked in and suggested that I submit them...and I thought it was a good idea so..."

My eyebrows shot up in surprise.  "So it wasn't all your idea?"

Frank's mouth immediately snapped shut and I eyed him suspiciously and took a step torwards him.

"Frank..." I started slowly...."Who did you run into?"

Licking his lips nervously, Frank tugged at his collar. 

"I, uh..."  Frank let out a loud cough and looked down to his watch.  "I think I just realized I need to be getting ready for work soon Lex...so i'll just be-"

Suddenly it dawned on me.  No.

"Was it Michael?!"  I squealed in disbelief.  "Did he see them while you were on DUTY?!"

Frank's face gave him away.
 
That's why we were here.  At Sony.  At MICHAEL'S LABEL.  

I was going to kill him. 

"I can't believe you.  How could you do this to me!"

"He only saw one..." Frank finally admitted, shoving his hands in his pockets.  "But when he saw it he made a call...and well..."

I couldn't believe this. Michael had asked them to take a look at my songs for publication and had gotten this meeting.  

"And you just went along with it?!"

Frank eyed me hesistantly and nodded his head.  "Yes...but."

I didn't need to hear anymore.  Turning on my heel I stormed torwads the elevator.

"Don't you want to have a life of your own?!"

How could he have done this?  How could he had gotten Michael involved after everything that we had been through? 

Shaking my head in disbelief I stopped in front of the elevators and pushed the down arrow.  Furious, I reached in my pocket for my cell phone and pulled it out.  Hitting speed dial I pressed the phone up to my ear and tapped my foot impatiently.

"Hello?"

Michael's soft velvet voice came over the other line.  Any other time I would have been overwhelmed with sadness and longing...but not right now.  Trying to keep my voice even I cleared my throat and stepped into the elevator as the doors opened.

"What the hell are you doing?"

The other line went silent.  Walking to the back of the elevator I heard Frank slip in behind me and the doors close.  Turning back around to face the front I jammed the lobby button and leaned up against the stainless steel rail.  

"Lexi..."

From the other end of the line i could hear dozens of people in the background and in a moment of weakness I wondered where he was at and what he was doing.

Who he was with.

Forcing myself not to go there I squared my shoulders.  

"I asked you a question." I finally responded, looking to the floor.  Moving a strand of hair from my face I saw Frank come and stand beside me out of the corner of my eye.  

Michael remained on the line quietly.  

Ding.

I looked up to see the elevator doors open to the lobby.  Moving forward both Frank and I stepped out and I walked quickly torwards the parking garage.

"...Why didn't you ever tell me you wrote?"  

Michael's voice sounded wounded on the other end and it stopped me in my tracks.  Closing my eyes I inhaled a deep breath and forced myself not to let my guard down.

He had cheated. And lied.  He might as well have put a gun to my head and pulled the trigger as broken as he had made me.  I couldn't be vulnerable with him again. 

"I'm not the only one who had secrets..." I finally ground out, narrowing my eyes.  "Or is me keeping a song book equal to you whoring yourself out while we're together?"

I looked over at Frank and saw him starring back at me, stunned.
  
I  couldn't believe I had said that either.

Looking away from him quickly, I looked torwards the large glass doors leading to the garage.  Shrouded in privacy glass and armed with guards, the entrance was firmly secured to keep  those without an invitation from getting inside.  Watching one of the guards argue with a young teenage girl trying to gain access I waited for Michael to respond.

 "I just wanted...to help." He finally responded in a whisper.  The girl ducked underneath the guards arm, but in one swoop he had her looped around the waist and placed back behind the barricade.  

Watching her try desperately to get in the doors reminded me of all the times Michael and I had been held up trying to get somewhere from fans trying to get to him.  The reminder was unwelcome, bringing an onslaught of even more memories of our time together.  Deciding to end the conversation quickly so I wouldn't have to think about him any more I moved the phone to my other ear.

"If you want to help stay away from me."

Slamming the phone shut, I pressed it up against my forehead and furrowed my brow in frustration.  Letting out a small scream I felt Frank's arms slide around me from behind and I shook my head no firmly and reached down to try and get away from him.

"Lexi, listen.  No...stay put.  I'm sorry."

Overwhelmed, and too tired to fight him anymore I finally stopped trying to resist and turned around in Frank's arms.  Laying my head against his chest we stood, silently.  My heart twisted up within me, I decided I would do anything to make the pain stop and i looked up at Frank hesitantly.

"Do you really think it would help me get over him...?"  

Frank searched my face and then nodded his head.

"I do..."

It was asking so much of me to try this.

My entire life I had been such a private person...letting go of that hadn't been easy dating Michael.  Even then though it had only been a very small portion of my life I had shared publicly.  Letting someone sing the songs I had written about my past and more recently about Michael was like giving an even larger portion of myself over for speculation and I wasn't sure if I was ready for that.

  But if Frank thought it would help...
"Okay.  We'll try it."

Frank's eyes crinkled, and a slow smile spread across his face.  Laying my head back down against his chest I took a deep breath.

"I guess...we should get back up there again."

"Let's go."