"Are you sure you want to go out and face these piranhas?  Look at them they have their faces up to the WINDOWS!"

I grabbed my wool coat from the coat rack in Janet's front hall and let out a resigned sigh turning back to look at her.  Dressed in black riding books, dark denim skinny jeans, and a form fitting black turtleneck Janet's back was turned to me and she was peering out the double paned window in her dining room in disbelief. 

Behind her, I could see the hoard of paparazzi that had been following me the last few days.  Flashes and questions being screamed could still be clearly heard even though I was several yards away and indoors.  Letting out a resigned sigh I adjusted my hair and tied my scarf.

"Yes...i'm sure.  They aren't going to dictate my life."

Michael's paternity results were due back any day.  For some reason, this was way bigger news than it should have been and I had several networks following me anxious to see my reaction in case it was positive.

My stomach rolled at the thought and I pushed the cloud of doubt that had been trying to hover over me.

It would be negative.  I told myself, turning my thoughts to something else.

"Nahla's set over at mom's?"  I asked Janet changing the subject.

Janet let the curtain shut over the window and turned back around to look at me.  Giving me a playful eye roll she nodded her head.

"Oh yes.  I can imagine she's going to be a holy terror when she gets back."

Janet walked across the room and into the entryway and started getting her things together.  Chuckling, I had to agree with her.  Grandma Jackson was definitely known for spoiling the grandkids.  Right about now I could imagine Nahla was getting everything she could possibly want and more.

"Frank!" I turned towards the living room and saw him lounging on the couch.  Sunglasses sat perched on top of his head and today he was dressed casually in a pair of jeans and a long sleeve burgundy sweater.   

"Huh? What?"

Frank turned to look at me and grimaced, realizing it was about time to go. Nodding my head in his direction I walked over and stopped behind the couch.

"Maybe you'll see your lover."

Frank let out a low growl and Janet and I both snickered. 

"Or you could always stay back..."

Frank shot me another look.

"Nice Try."

I knew there was no way that was going to happen.  Frank had been trailing me ever since the madness had started with the media.  Well...trailing was probably too casual a word.  Frank had dismissed my normal security and demanded to be on my service 24/7.  He wasn't trailing, he was stalking.

"Do we seriously have to go to the bridal shop again today?"  Frank grumbled, covering a yawn with his hand.  "That woman at the bridal shop is..."

Frank's feet were perched up on the coffee table and his brown loafers just barely grazed the wooden coasters as he reluctantly swung his feet down and got off the couch.

"Passionately and madly in love with you?"  I finished for him, shooting him a cheeky grin.

Frank shot me a look.  "Lexi, she grabbed my crotch last time and told me I was a "massive" find. That's not madly in love that's psychotic."

"Get over it. We've got to find her a dress."

Janet's voice was firm and very matter of fact.  Looping her purse handles over her arm Frank mimicked Janet behind her back and I turned around so I wouldn't laugh and waited for Janet to open the door.

"Wait!"

Frank's grumbling behind him, Frank quickly came in-between us and looped his arms between ours.  "Alright, now we can go."

Bending frontwards to look at me, Janet searched my face.

"You ready for this?"

Inhaling a deep breath I nodded.  "Yes."

Frank turned and gave me a protective look.  Furrowing his brow, Frank made eye contact with me. "Just don't answer any questions, ok? That will only set them off more."

Biting my inside cheek I nodded and gripped Frank's arm tighter.  "And if any of them attempt to touch you be prepared, im swinging you into my waist and tucking you under my arm.

I gave him an impatient nod.  "I know, I know. We have this conversation every time we go somewhere."

"Excuse me for trying to keep you alive."

"...Or smother me."  I muttered, reaching for the doorknob and open the door.

"Lexi! Lexi! Have you heard anything from the court yet?"

"Has Michael tried to call you?"

"Has Megan tried to make contact?"

A gust of wind whipped into the front entryway as we stepped out into the front porch and camera flashes blinded all of us as we tried to move forward towards the SUV Michael had given me for Christmas the year before. 

Standing on my tippy toes on the porch, I spotted the red Mercedes a few yards away and I clutched the keys in my hand.  Keeping my head turned away from the cameras, Frank gently guided us both down the stairs and we pushed through the crowd the best we could.

"Lexi!"

"Lexi over here!"

The yelling was relentless and wryly I thought about how fortunate I was to have worn my brown cowboy boots instead of sandals since there were so many people pushing around us.  Frank's arms were locked around us even tighter than normal, moving through the crowd, and I knew that he was on high alert with the intensity of the crowd. 

"Do you believe that Michael's tests are going to come back negative?  How does it feel knowing that the results may be positive?"

Gritting my teeth, I kept my eyes trained in the direction of the vehicle and was thankful when we finally got close enough that Frank could open the doors and let us in.

"Your both going in the back" Frank ordered, leaving no room for argument.  "That way I can slide you both in and lock the doors.  Lexi give me your keys."

Recognizing that tone as one I would not win an argument with I pulled a strand of hair from my face and slipped the keys in his pocket.  Frank stopped far enough away from the car that he could release our arms and slide us right in.  Letting me in first, Frank released my arm and placed his hand on the small of my back guiding me in.

"Thanks..." 

The vanilla caramel scent from my air freshener hit me as soon as I climbed in and sat on the tan leather seats.  Adjusting the bottom hem of my grey wool skirt that peaked out beneath my jacket I swiftly moved over and watched Janet slide in beside me.

"Watch it with those cameras" Janet growled, placing her hand on the seat and hopping in.  Laying her purse on the floorboard Janet grumbled and shot death glares outside.

"This...is ridiculous."

Nodding my head in agreement I heard the door slam and I leaned back against the headrest and crossed my legs.

"At least it will be over soon."

_____________________________________________________________________________________

"Lexi, darrrling! You look positively radiant!"

Surrounded by mirrors, I was standing on a white platform runway in the front of Frank and Janet.  Dressed in one of the dresses up for consideration, I slowly twirled around to look at their faces.

"Well..." I bit my lower lip and looked at them both expectantly.  "What do you think?"

Frank had been scowling all morning due to the constant flirtations from my bridal consultant, Candy.  Flipping through a magazine, Frank looked up quickly and then stopped seeing me in my dress.   I shot him a small smile and nervously smoothed out the skirt.

"Lele..."

Frank laid the magazine down on his lap and smiled.  "You look incredible."

"I think she looks fat."

I raised my eyebrows and, surprised, glanced over at Janet.  Sitting forward in her chair Janet glanced between Frank and I and shrugged her shoulders.

"What? It's true. That dresses train makes her butt look the size of California."

"I think you look diviiine!"

Candy's sugary sweet tone elected another groan from Frank. Ignoring Janet's criticism I turned back around and looked at the dress.   It was form fitting at the top, with a sweetheart neckline.  The top resembled a French bustier, but with the subtle touches of lace and a thick soft pink ribbon around the waist gave it a romantic design.  Fanning out at my hips the dress was covered in small pinched silk ruffles and in the back had a long train that the bow from my waist trailed down.   Running my hand along the clusters of ruffles I tried to imagine Michael's expression seeing me in the dress and my stomach flipped.

"What do you think Lex?"

I looked back in the mirror to glance at Frank and tried not to smile seeing the petite consultant sitting in a chair right next to him.  Frank looked annoyed.  Running her hands up and down his arm, she tried subtly to lean over him and pretend to read an article. 

Reaching up to stretch the collar of his shirt Frank coughed and did his best to ignore her.  Keeping his eyes trained on me I shrugged my shoulders and looked back at the dress.

"I like it..." I finally said.  "But it's so expensive."

"I still think it makes her look fat."

Shooting Janet a look she raised her hands in surrender and flipped her hair over her shoulder.

"You wanted my opinion.  I think you should wear one of those calf length dresses that are sheer.

Not going to happen.

"Like hell she is."

Frank's voice was authoritively overprotective and I had to laugh looking at Janet's face. 

"What's wrong with her showing a little skin?"

Frank crinkled his nose in disgust.  "Lele showing skin?  Are you kidding?  It's like finding your sisters picture in playboy."  Alarmed at the thought Frank whipped his head around to look at me again and narrowed his eyes.

"Which, by the way, better NEVER happen."

Rolling my eyes, I tuned out their bickering and looked back again at the dress.  Even though I knew Michael could easily afford it, I still felt guilty paying so much for a dress I would only wear once.  Not to mention that when I graduated with my degree in journalism this dress would easily eat my paycheck up for a year.  The thought was nauseating.

"Darling, have you decided?"

The sugary sweet tone erupted from behind me again.  Giving a strained smile to the consultant I shook my head no. 

"Not yet."

Turning her nose in the air, she turned her attention back to Frank.  Slowly creeping over the arm rest for his chair, her hands "accidentally" rubbed against his chest again and Frank freaked out.  Hopping out of the chair, Frank gave her a look of disbelief and ran a hand through his hair.

"What is your dysfunction?"  He growled, jumping back as she stood quickly in front of him and reached her arms around his neck.

"Oh I'm sorry."  She fluttered her eyes and looked him over.  "But my, aren't you a strong one."

I should have come alone.

Instantly regretting bringing anyone with me I cringed seeing Frank trip over the chairs and land backwards. 

"Are you okay?"  I giggled, watching the consultant scramble to help him up.

Frank was hoisted up by his arm and, as he was brushing off his sweater he gave me a tight look and growled.

"What. Do. You. Think."

"Excuse me, Candy ?"  The consultant stopped trying to brush Frank off and looked over at me. Straightening  her hair, she clasped her hands in front of her waiting for my question "Do you have any matching shoes?"

"Of course! Be right back!"

Quickly she scurried away and headed back up front to the displays.  I turned around to peak around the corner to make sure she was out of earshot and then I turned to look at Frank, a smirk on my face.

  "I think" I finally responded to Frank's question.  "That you must have some sort of animal magnetism today."  Raising my hands up to mimic an animal pawing I heard Janet let out a loud snort and Frank's face turned suspiciously cordial. 

"Come here a sec.  Lex."

Recognizing that gleam in his eye I took a step back and bumped into the full length mirror.  I raised my arms in front of me and let out a squeal as he shot towards me.  Whipping his arms around my waist Frank lifted me over his shoulder and began tickling me.

"Frank! I'm in a wedding dress!"

Janet ignored us, used to our antics, and I watched her lick her finger and turn a page of the magazine she was reading as I tried desperately to dodge his fingers.

"Frank!" I giggled, my face in his sweater.  "Quit it!"

My pleas did nothing to deter him and my legs floundered against the petticoats and layers of silk.  Using one of my arms to loop around his neck so I didn't fall to the ground, I shifted violently on his shoulder. 

"What is going ON!"

Frank's attack suddenly stopped, and I cringed hearing the consultant's voice behind us.  Both of us taken off guard, Frank accidentally loosened his hold on me too much and I went toppling off his shoulder and onto the ground.  Letting out a shrill scream silk went flying in the air like a parachute and I placed my hands in front of me trying to lessen the impact. 

"Lele! Are you okay?"

Frank's hand slipped around my waist as he tried to catch me, but the yards of fabric made it impossible to get a hold of me correctly and Frank let out a loud "Umph" as he tripped in the fabric and landed underneath me.

My hair flew in my face and the white marble floor felt cool underneath my palm as I tried to push myself up.  Shoving the hair out of my eyes I glanced wildly around the piles of fabric and saw Frank on his hands and knees climbing out from under the train. 

Frank wiped off his sweater and turned to look at me on the floor. His eyes twinkling in merriment, both of us dissolved in laughter again once we looked at each other.

"We'll take it..." Janet muttered behind us. 

_____________________________________________________________________________________

"Is he in here?"

Anna nodded and motioned for me to go inside.  Mouthing a thank you I opened the door to the radio station's holding room and saw Michael sitting on a tan colored loveseat, across the room from Frank Dileo.  Michael's forehead puckered in concentration, I gave Frank a small wave and made my way over to Michael who was pouring over some papers.  Jiggling a pencil in his right hand, Michael's eyebrows were drawn together in concentration and he was slowly mouthing the words he was reading.  Deciding to surprise him, I placed my purse down next to a large buffet table at the front of the room.  My stomach rumbled smelling the food, but I was too excited to see Michael to care.  Carefully I walked slowly across the room, trying to keep my boots from hitting the light brown carpet too loud.  A couple of feet away from him I dodged the papers in his lap and, looping my arms around his neck quickly slid on his lap.

"Hey there" I grinned.  Michael's eyebrows shot up in his surprise and a slow smile spread on his face.  Keeping his eyes on me Michael laid the papers down beside him and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"There's my girl" He teased, leaning in to give me a kiss.  Sighing contently against his lips I adjusted myself on his lap and leaned up against his chest.  "What are you doing here?" he questioned.

Tilting my head so that I could see him, quickly I relayed the details of my afternoon.   "So...since we got done early I thought I'd come over and surprise you!"

Michael's smile broadened, hearing about the bridal shop, and his eyes twinkled merrily while he brushed a kiss on the back of my neck.

"That sounds about right."

A knock on the door pulled our attention away from the conversation and in walked in a man wearing a headset.  Dressed in a pair of black jeans and a yellow t-shirt the man quickly nodded towards the door.

"It's time."

I crinkled my nose in displeasure.  Disappointed that Michael had to leave me so quickly I let out a resigned sigh and unhooked my arms from around his neck.  Michael gave the man a polite smile and turned to look at me.  Releasing one of his hands from my waist Michael pulled a strand of my hair back from my eyes and gave me a warm smile.

"You want to come with me?"

Nodding my head, Michael leaned in and gave me another kiss before releasing my waist.  Sliding off Michael's hand, I turned and waited for him to get up.  As soon as he did, I laced my fingers through his and we were rushed into the studio.

"Mr. Jackson, you're here."

Michael slipped into business mode while they set him up and gave him some quick notes from their clipboard.  Nodding politely, Michael glanced over to make sure that I was okay a couple of chairs down from him.  I gave him an encouraging smile and Michael smiled back warmly at me before slipping on his headphones.

"Good evening everyone! Today we are here with pop sensation, Michael Jackson.  Back in the studio for his upcoming album, Dangerous, Michael is here today to discuss what you can expect from his latest album expected in stores at the beginning of next year and to also discuss his relationship with long time fiancée Lexi Adams."

Raising my eyebrows in surprise, Michael and I shot each other a look.

Evidently he hadn't known they were going to bring "us" up either.

Were they going to bring up Megan?

"Today we're going to start by letting Michael say hello to his fans."  The radio jockey, probably about thirty, glanced up at Michael and gave him the go signal.  Wearing a Nike sweatshirt and a pair of jeans, he remained very focused. 

"Hello" Michael smiled and nodded his head graciously.  "I love you."

"So Michael.  The radio jockey quickly adjusted the wrist of his navy blue sweatshirt and his dark blue eyes pierced Michaels.  "Tell us about your new album."

Leaning up to speak in the microphone, Michael bent his arms and placed them on the table. 

"Well," Michael began, laying his hands back down on the table, "As you mentioned the cd launches here in a couple of months.  I feel very blessed to be working on another album and I'm very excited for all of my fans to hear what I have been working on."

Graciously Michael told them about the songs and the plans that were in the works for an accompanying tour.  His eyes lighting up, I knew that Michael had missed performing his music and inwardly I groaned, knowing that the busyness and chaos from the last few months only was going to get worse in the coming months.

It was hard sometimes...sharing Michael with so many people.  Studying him I admired the way Michael's creamy white complexion and large mocha brown eyes looked against his black fedora and light blue dress shirt. 

Before I knew it he would be leaving again soon.  

Was I going with him?

I thought about Nahla and Janet and the life I had here  in California.  It was hard leaving everything that I had become so accustomed too in the last few years when Michael hadn't been touring.  What I was struggling with even though more though was my desire to become my own person beyond "Michael Jackson's fiancée." 

I didn't want to be one of those girls.

Not sure of what next year would bring me, Every since Michael hadn't mentioned the tour to me a couple of months ago I had been warring within myself my desire to not be one of the girls that based their entire lives on their man and my desire to wake up every morning next to Michael.  Breathing in deeply, I imagined the long lonely nights without him and my heart ached at the thought.

 Silently I wondered if I could handle being separated from him that long again. 

"I'm sure that all of your fans are looking forward to that."

Breaking out of my thoughts I saw Michael glance over at me and give me a smile.  Smiling back at him I winked to let him know I was proud of him. Blushing, Michael slid his hands off the table and grabbed both sides of his chair and turned his attention back to the interview.

Bored, I reached down and grabbed my purse.  Crammed full of things, I wrestled around until I found a small notebook and pen and I lightly touched my necklace as I brought them up and sat them on my lap.

Doodling, my brain refused to shut off and thoughts of Michael leaving on tour and of the recent allegations completely overwhelmed me.  For the first time in a long while I felt the desire to write again.  Self-consciously, I glanced up to see if Michael was paying attention to me.  When I saw that he was still engrossed in the interview I stuck my pen between my teeth and closed my eyes, trying to concentrate.

"She's the love of my life."

Smiling, I opened my eyes and saw Michael shoot me a look.  His eyes full of love, my heart warmed and the way I felt about him flowed through me so strongly I took the pen out of my mouth and began writing.

You breath and life begins
you speak and my world makes sense
That's how it is, when it comes to  you
Memories flowed through me...The  memories of our friendship before we started dating, the memories of Michael helping me through each abandonment by my foster parents.  Lovingly I touched the pages, and the words continued flowing through me like I had never stopped writing.

Your mercy has no end
Your more than just a friend
It amazes me, you feel the way you do

There were times I looked at Michael and wondered why he would give his heart to me, someone so completely unworthy of it. It was something that I didn't understand, something I didn't think I'd ever understand. My thoughts turning to the recent allegations, so many people were telling me that I was a fool believing him...but those people didn't know Michael and hadn't seen the love he had shown me all through the years. 

It couldn't be true...

Sticking a strand of hair behind my ear I continued.

I believe in you, and nothing less
I believe in you, can't help myself
Your all the hope, the reason that I need
I believe in you
Just because I don't need no one to prove your love
For all that I have seen
It's easier for me to believe in you.

Inhaling deeply, I took a break from my writing and looked up to see that they had gone to commercial and Michael was discussing his schedule.  Seeing that he was busy, I turned my attention back to my notebook.

You are so beautiful
You are the miracle, that dries my tears heals my wounded heart
And it's so clear to see, your hand in everything
You were there for me, there to see me through

I believe in you, and nothing less
I believe in you, can't help myself
Your all the hope, the reason I need
I believe in you, just because I don't need no one to prove your love
For all that I have seen It's easier for me to believe In you

Through the fire and through the rain
I know your love for me will never ever change

I believe in you, and nothing less
I believe in you, can't help myself
Your all the hope, the reason that I need

I believe in you, just because I don't need no one to prove your love
For all that ihave seen it's easier for me to believe in you
And nothing less I believe in you can't help myself
Your all the hope the reason that I need

I believe in you, just because I don't need no one to prove your love
The love that I have seen, it's easier for me to believe in you...

The rest of the song poured out of me easily.  Satisfied with the end result, I quickly closed the book and tucked It in my purse.

"Alright now, we're back on the air again with pop sensation Michael Jackson"

Looking back over at Michael and the DJ, I tucked my arms around my legs again and paid attention.  Michael's eyes were trained in front of him, listening respectfully while the DJ gave a bit of background on Michael's musical history and once he was finished Michael took a drink of water and leaned forward in the microphone to answer his next question.

"We have a bit of a surprise for all of you listening out there."  Curiously I furrowed my brow and wondered what he was talking about.  Glancing over at Michael I caught his eye and he shrugged his shoulders.

"Today, Meghan Carter shall be joining us in the studio-"

No.

Panicked I shot Michael another look and my heart broke seeing his face pale instantly.  Realizing it would make Michael look incredibly guilty if he refused to talk from this point on I furiously clutched my hands and stood up, making my way past the long desk to where Michael was sitting.  The door opened behind us, and enough perfume to tranquilize an elephant wafted in the room as Meghan shuffled in the doorway.  Refusing to look behind me I walked the rest of the way over to Michael.

His face looked even paler up close.

Noticing the wounded look in his eyes my heart broke.  Michael glanced up at me, and wrapping my arms around his neck I sat on his lap. 

"Psst. Miss."

A sound tech waved his hands on the other side of the desk and I glared at him, daring him to tell me to move.

"You can't..." he started, looking between me and Michael hesitantly.  "...Nevermind."

Looking him up and down for a moment, I felt Michael wrap his arms around my waist and I ran my hand down his arm and squeezed his wrist supportively.

"What is that bitch doing here..." He whispered against my neck, his voice tight.  I wasn't sure what to say so I turned and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"It's okay, I'll be right here." I whispered, watching in disbelief as they wired her up and placed her across from us at the table.

"Alright listeners, in case you didn't know Megan is the mother of Michael's only child."

"Alleged." Michael responded coldly, looking over at Megan.

Megan's eyes darted over to us and glancing our way she smiled smugly and leaned forward exposing her breasts in a tight neon green tube top.  Resisting the urge to climb across the table and strangle her I kept my mouth shut and shot daggers at her from my spot across the table.

"Here today, in an exclusive interview, Megan is here to share her side of the story.  What makes it more interesting is that Lexi Adams, Michael's fiancée and the one we discussed here earlier, is also here tonight as a special guest.  In a few moments we will take your questions but first, Megan?"

Megan's eyes glimmered, and smugly she soaked in the attention and pressed her lips up to the microphone. Lifting a hand up to hold her headset in place, Megan glared over between Michael and I and began talking.

"All I want is for my child to know his real dad." She replied modestly, laying a hand on her heart in "earnest".  "To really know him.  I want my baby to feel his loving embrace and know love."

"You are a lying witch."

Furious, the words slipped out of my mouth before I knew what was happening.  My eyes widened in surprise and embarrassed I covered my mouth and slinked back against Michael.  Michael's chest shook violently, and I saw him trying desperately not to laugh.   Across from us Megan had stopped midsentence and was glaring at me with a murderous expression.  Michael's arms tightened around my waist, seeing my shoulders tense, and the radio DJ quickly coughed and started rambling trying to cover my slip.

"You will see" She hissed, a wicked gleam in her eyes.   Pulling her hair back over her shoulder Megan leaned towards me and shoved the microphone out of the way. "You'll see soon enough that Mr. Perfect over here isn't all that he's cracked up to be. All he is...is a lying, cheating, whore."

I was going to punch her in her pretty little face.

Finally having enough, I reached down and tried to clasp Michael's hands from my waist.  Sensing what I was doing Michael's grasp around me tightened and he struggled with me to keep me on his lap.

"Lexi you cannot-"

"Oh yes I can."

"No you can't it's not going to do any good."

"Let me go!"

Blind rage coarsed through my veins watching her snicker across from us like she had won something.  Michael's hands slipped for a moment, trying to keep my wiggling frame in place and I took the moment, slide out of his hands, and went climbing across the table.

"Ahhh!"

Megan's scream pierced the room and just as quickly as I had hopped on the table Michael had jumped up behind me and picked me up. 

"I think we're done."

Michael placed me on his shoulder and slipped off his headphones with the other hand.  I shot daggers at Megan with my eyes as Michael walked across the room to gather my purse and I pointed at myself and then her as we were walking out the door.

"I'm watching you-you conniving little-"

The door slammed behind me, and Michael's coughing turned into full blown laughter when we were out of the studio.  "Michael! Let me go."

Michael gently placed me down on the floor and I huffed and straightened my tunic and necklaces.

"I think Janet's been rubbing off on you." Michael said wryly, looking at me beneath a couple strands of mussed curls.

"She had it coming" I grumbled, turning back around to glare in the other room.

Michael chuckled behind me and wrapped his arms around me from behind.

"When the results are back this will all be over. We've just got to be patient."

Michael laid a gentle kiss on my head and a bit of my anger drained hearing the calm tone in his voice.

"I could make it over sooner" I grumbled, still glaring.

"I don't even want to know what you mean by that."