Date: Jul 21, 2015 10:36 pm Title: Chapter 8. Running Back Into You...
- finally and the sooner the better Michael already missed his first words and his first step besides she had 4 years to tell him so telling him tomorrow Isn't bad at all , good update , update sooner please
Author's Response:
Yes. She needed to go ahead and tell him because if he finds out another way, it will really hurt him. So it's best that bit comes from her instead.
Thank you and I will.
[Report This]Date: Jul 11, 2015 03:00 pm Title: Chapter 7. Running Back Into You...
Geena has no excuse. It just shows you how many secrets were kept in that relationship.
Author's Response:
I didn't know you had reviewed until now. Lol. But, anyway, well everyone has their own opinion about Geena keeping that away from Michael. But she should have told him in the beginning that she was a victim of the disease even if it did go into remission. He was her husband at the time.And deserved to know, but I guess another agenda was in mind as you heard about her using him from previous chapters. It 'slipped'.
[Report This]Date: Jul 07, 2015 01:20 pm Title: Prologue...
Ayyyyyyyyyeeeeee.
I'm digging this!
Author's Response:
AAwww, I'm glad your enjoying it.
[Report This]Date: Jul 06, 2015 09:29 pm Title: Chapter 7. Running Back Into You...
I think while she should have told him but she was not obligated to tell him she had cancer. I could see him being mad she has cancer but not mad that she didn't tell him. She's dying so the last thing she needs to feel right now is the guilt he was trying to make her feel for it. She's telling him now. Cancer is an ugly disease. I'm surprised she's even up and about having only such a short time left to live. I feel so bad for her and their daughter.
It sounded like at first Michael was going to be mad he had to take care of Guiliana but I'm glad he's stepping in.
More soon! <333
Author's Response:
She should, but you're right. She wasn't obligated, plus it had went into remission and she wasn't thinking it would come back for good. Things happen.
And yes cancer is a terrible disease to have. My mom's brother died from it during Hurricane Katrina. It was very sad because I really didn't know him. Wish I had the chance although he knew me.
And no Michael wasn't going to get mad, that's his daughter who he loves dearly. If he has to take on full custody, then it is what it is. It's just that Geena told him that it was just going to be only him caring for their daughter, he was taken aback being that their were co-parenting very well.
It's going to be hard for Giuliana to be without her mother. All children should never lose their mothers but it happens.
Date: Jul 06, 2015 03:30 pm Title: Chapter 7. Running Back Into You...
I honestly feel like she kept it from him because she felt like it was in remission and wouldn't be coming back, so she could continue to be low down and a gold digger or whatever the hell she was doing. Karma is real. Now that the cancer is back, she's dying and she's hopeless and knew she had no choice but to tell him. So I hope Michael is prepared to be a single parent. And I hope he finds out his other child too! Soon! Dawn needs to really tell him about his son. He has a sibling that he can get to know.
Author's Response:
I'm trying to not to laugh although it was harsh. Girl you be killing me.
And you're right, karma is very real. But I'm pretty sure Michael can handle being a single a parent. Anything is possible.
As for Dawn, yes she needs to get up on that telling him about Kyan, which will be very very soon. I won't hold it back for long.
Date: Jul 06, 2015 01:03 pm Title: Chapter 7. Running Back Into You...
Finally an update and omg cancer ? Smh I feel bad for her and netty needs to tell Michael the truth
Author's Response:
Lol, yes. Sorry about that. And yes, Geena has cancer and her time is very limited now. And Netty she does need to tell Michael about Kyan. Quick.
Date: Jun 27, 2015 03:19 pm Title: Prologue...
Kids notice. Oh boy, they notice. Just because they don't speak on it in ways many know to hear, doesn't mean they don't react. Bedwetting, tantrums, huge behavioral changes are all linked with changes in caregiving or caregivers.
In studies of kids who witness domestic violence, guess who has the worst outcome? The infant who can't speak.
Author's Response:
Well, that's very true. They do notice things of that such and it can trigger those actions even if they dont speak on it right awat. Now that you mentioned it, you gave me an idea for the next chapter.
[Report This]Date: Jun 27, 2015 02:35 pm Title: Chapter 6. Running Back Into You...
Damnit. I load this page and the first thing I see is Geena's name. Once I saw her name, I knew it was one of three scenarios:
-the kid is really not his
-she's seriously ill
-she wants more cash (whether by repairing their relationship or manipulating him in some way)
Cancer. Umm. No. You don't wait to tell the father of your kid that you have cancer. You just don't. I mean, has he not spoken with his daughter and has she not complained about mommy not being well? I question both of their actions as parents, now.
Author's Response:
Lol, you and everyone else was thinking the same thing. But yes, she has cancer. I think she held back since she found out because, maybe she was nervous to tell him or afraid to tell him that it's possible that she will probably never get to see their daughter again do to her illness. It can be heart wrenching to tell someone such news.
As for their daughter, she's only three so she probably never thought anything of it or Geena probably never got around to actually sit her down to explain it in a way she would know.
[Report This]Date: Jun 27, 2015 02:27 pm Title: Chapter 5. Running Back Into You...
LOL I reserve the right to go in on any character that speaks bull.
I could see Michael tracking her down at home and trying to have a heart to heart with her. Or contacting Janet and trying to get her to speak on his behalf. Ditto for his mother. Maybe even putting her on the spot in an interview. Offering to put her name before his in the writer's notes. What Michael Jackson wanted, Michael Jackson got.
No Geena!
Author's Response:
Kml, yes you do.
And knowing him, his behind would probably do just that. Girl, you never know, lol. As for mama Katherine, she shouldn't be involved in his mess. But he's gonna have to come up with something good to get Dawnette to change her mind.
[Report This]Date: Jun 27, 2015 02:13 pm Title: Chapter 4. Running Back Into You...
Good for her for walking out. IDK if she should pursue a singing career. It depends on her priorities. Is she set on being a star and making all the money, or does she care more about her son being able to stay in one school, have some semblance of privacy, and simply being financially comfortable? Touring isn't easy on kids. Not in the least. She'd miss out on a lot.
He shouldn't have said her nickname. That's too close to home and suggests a level of intimacy that doesn't exist anymore.
I think she should ask to work with a different artist and leave this to Teddy unless she knows she can handle this in a professional manner and never get left alone with Michael. She's gotta think about her stability, her work quality, and what her goals are.
Author's Response:
Yassss!!!!! And that's very much true. When being a famous singer, comes tours and alot of money. But I mean, she has a talent that shouldn't be wasted on the back burner, but it's up to her if she wants to do it which she said she would consider doing. Hey, maybe she'll rethink it over and just not do it. Only time will tell. And if she did, it would take a toll on Kyan being that he's so young and in school and so used to being a normal regular kid, which every kid has the right to be. She should t least talk with him first about it, although he's four, he's a smart one. That's what she should do first.
Now, Michael should have known better to call that girl by her nickname of all names. You guys aren't peachy keen cool. I guess he couldn't help it seeing her after so long. It happens...sometimes. But like you said, it is too close to home.
Maybe she should, maybe shouldn't. It's all up to what she wants to do but I think she should work with him but on a more professional level.
[Report This]Date: Jun 27, 2015 01:39 pm Title: Chapter 3. Running Back Into You...
He speaketh such bullshit
"Look, the reason why I chose Geena is because...because I loved her. But not only did I love her, but I was in love with Dawnette at the same time. I just never admit to it. I kept my love for her hidden. I didn't want to ruin our friendship and bond that we had. I cherished that more than anything."
Friends don't do friends like that. He's deluding himself.
"The moment I realized that I was in love with Dawn was when we had kissed for the first time and made love for the first time. She asked for me to be her first. So I obliged and we did it. And it was only a favor that turned in to lust and then love. That's how it was for me. And from that moment foward, I just knew I had love for her more than a friend. I stopped seeing her that way on the inside. But the outside, the outside was telling a whole other tale. She professed her love for me too, but there were times when I would say it back, but at that time I only saw her as my friend who I was starting to fall in love with."
So he was in love with her but scared, so he figured he might as well take a dip in another chick just to screw it all up. So male.
"There were times when I wouldn't say it back. So, I started the friends with benefits and that was something that I shouldn't have done. Dawnette became so attached, her feeling grew stronger, as did mine, but I was getting married so I had to end it and it left her heartbroken in the end. I didn't want that to happen, but I loved Geena at the time and I couldn't keep hurting her like that anymore. But, I also couldn't keep leading Dawn on and hurting her too. Although, I still didn't prevent any of that from happening..."
He started the F-w-B because he wanted to do other chicks at the same time. That's essentially what all this verbiage says to me. He loved that Geena came without the history and without the emotional and mental weight that Dawnette came with. That doesn't even begin to justify proposing to her. Not at all. Dude is weak and has yet to really admit or own up to what he did. He's still making excuses. Lame. What he needs to say is "I was scared and taking advantage of my own success. I was weak and gave into temptation. I used my fear of a real relationship to justify giving into temptation. Then as I got more scared and realized how much I'd messed up, I became more impulsive and ended up asking the woman whose opinion mattered less to me, to marry me."
---
Just finished the chapter. jdkalsd I'm very excited to see what comes of this story. I hope you'll be updating soon, as I know I'm going to be caught up soon!
Lucree needs to go. It's time for Dawnette to stop putting up with those kinds of people. I think it's too soon for them to think about being friends. He's not over her and she's still feeling fragile.
Author's Response:
Best review thus far. You seriously went ham right now. Lol!! :p
Michael is just...idek myself. He knew better than to start some type of sexual relationship with someone who had actual feelings for him. Basically, he played with Dawnette's heart knowing of her feelings for him. What a shame.
But what you written on what he should ha said, was great. Cause the gibberish he's talking, like you said, are excuses. He just should have been more honest with her than lying to her.
Hopefully, I will sometime tomorrow, if not then the following week. I'm glad to see that you are taking a liking to the story, btw.
As for Lucree, he tried but Dawn wasn't having it. It wouldn't hurt just to be friends, maybe in due time, but not right now, especially how the way Dawn is.
Date: Jun 27, 2015 12:47 pm Title: Prologue...
My opinion - you don't need to make it present tense to give people insight into the dynamics. It doesn't make it more realistic because the tense gets jumbled. More than anything, it can be jarring to the reader.
And if she'd taken him back she'd have no self respect IMO. Seriously, a dude not only dates someone, but gets engaged to them, behind your back? Dude's shady and untrustworthy at minimum. She was a side-chick. I don't see any pride in that identity.
Author's Response:
Soooo.... You think I should at least consider putting past tense it in?? I mean, it was something I wanted to do when writing the intro way back when, so it wouldn't bother me if I did. As I look at things now, I think it would help being that people would want to know more about Geena and who she really is and not just what Michael describes her to be and their relationship. Also, people would want to know more on how the whole friends with benefits started as a story and not just from present tense. I feel like it would be better to put some past tense in it.
You're right. She really wouldn't. The Way I have written Michael in this story, is that he isn't the all so squeaky clean Michael everyone tends to write or read about. He have is share of shadiness just like any other man who fucks up. Yes, it was clear that she was just a piece of ass (side-chick).
[Report This]Date: Jun 27, 2015 12:19 pm Title: Chapter 1. Running Back Into You...
I noticed that you are writing this in present tense. Since you previously asked for my input: Present tense is great for shorter pieces; it adds tension and keeps the reader guessing. It is awkward when used with longer pieces, because inevitably there will be an instance in which the past tense needs to be used, and then the piece becomes confusing. It's also easy to jumble tenses when trying to write in present tense. This is why you'll find it is rarely used in stories of more than a chapter or two. Past tense creates a little less tension in the story, but allows the reader to feel as though they are following along as the author writes their story. So in brief? It basically makes for a smoother narration.
Otherwise, I like the premise of this story. Can't wait to see what happens!
Author's Response:
Thank you so much for the input. I agree with you 100% it can become a little confusing but as you read the intro, I just wanted people to get an insight on what type of relationship Michael and Dawnette had, how they went their separate ways and such. Just a little something something. Now at first, I was thinking about putting some past tense in there...if needed of course, but decided against it. The past tense chapter was just a one time thing for this story.
[Report This]Date: Jun 27, 2015 11:48 am Title: Prologue...
Can I smack her for kissing him rather than smacking him? Shoot, a guy played her bad and her response was to submit to him one last time before leaving him. Weak. I'd rather leave him wishing he'd gotten a last kiss, and dreaming of what could have been, then give him one last bit of pleasure. IMO the last kiss just makes her look thirsty...like if he said he'd call off the engagement at that moment, she'd take him back.
Author's Response:
Lmbo!!!! Girl, if you want, you can. You're free do do as you please just don't kill her, though. She was...hmmm...can I say in her feelings, upset that she felt maybe if she kisses him again for the last time, he would regret about not loving her like she hoped he would. But he was so hell bent on loving her as a friend. A best friend at that. She wanted more, he didn't due to the fact he was engaged to be marry to a woman she never knew about and love.
And tbh, I think she probably would have taken him back if he said he would call off the engagement, but everything that matter is what his heart feels for her. You can't be with someone you don't love in a certain way that the other loves you. It would be one-sided which it already was from the beginning.
Now she's torn and heartbroken.
Date: Jun 15, 2015 07:16 am Title: Chapter 6. Running Back Into You...
I didn't expect that. I thought for sure that she was going to tell him that his daughter is not his bio kid. Maybe it was just wishful thinking on my part lol.
Author's Response:
Lol, yeah everyone wasn't but they were expecting for her to say Giuliana wasn't really his but she is 100%. But it's okay to have your moments of doubts. Who wouldn't, ya know.