[Report This]Date: Aug 17, 2014 08:01 pm Title: Chapter 1
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Date: Jul 20, 2014 08:58 pm Title: Chapter 1
Your welcome.
[Report This]Date: Jul 20, 2014 08:53 pm Title: Chapter 4
This is a very good story. Just slow down just a tad. Take your time telling us the story and when you're going into the past say...
--- past---
and then write it and when you're in the future do:
--- future ---
or something like that just to tell us that you'd reading but so far so good girl. ;)
Date: Jul 20, 2014 07:05 pm Title: Chapter 1
Hey,
You have a good start here but the only thing I would suggest is not to put the sound of the knocks into the story. We all know what knocking sounds like. If I were writing that, I would have maybe written it this way..
We fell backwards knocking down the ironing board. As it crashed to the floor, I noticed that the floor made a funny sound. Wanting to see why, I began to knock three times on the wood floor.
I know that this wasn't what you had written but I just wanted to give you some pointers. I can't wait to finish reading what you have here.
Author's Response:
Thank for the feed back I'll use it in the future , I'll be posting soon , and thanks for reading and reviewing