Reviewer: canyoufeelit Anonymous [Report This]
Date: Dec 26, 2011 11:56 pm Title: chapter1

Sweet heart I have come to be your stories guardian angel my dear sweet heart

I can help you write this why

I was a fan of buffy the vampire slayer from the age of ten when I discovered it in 1998, through till it went off in 2003

after 2003 I wrote over 72 Buffy the vampire fanfiction stories which still exist on my site to this day and multiple other links.

I have been a Michael jackson fan as long as I knew who the man was and let me tell you my dear for over 20 years I have been a fan of Michael and over 13yrs of buffy I have only written maybe 10 Novel like mj stories that can be found on my blog spot Michael jackson Adult Fan fiction and believe me myt mj stories are novel length as well as my Buffy stories

Now and under stand I have goten favoritied for many of my stories and became favorite auther because of my MJ series and many Buffy stories

so yes Im the person you need to talk to when it comes to writting Buffy related and Michael Jackson

Now I see where you are going with your prologue but I think I can help you out

I can write a story like no one business but I have a problem with grammer so bare with me.

let me sow you what I can do to help your prologue

 

The full moon shining bright in the sky like a glowing becon here I lay in bed I can't sleep but i'm not a night person anyway slayer would never be one to sleep at night my lust for the hunt would never be able to let me rest. I sat up my long black hair hanging behind my back I had on a big night shirt I looked out the moon.

the moon that spoke to me I remember when the moon ment nothing more to me then a beautful source of light, but one I was called that changed i've been a slayer since i was 15 now im 21.

My feet hit the ground... faster... faster I ran, heart pounding in my ears, he trained me he had trained me well.

I smirked but oh my views on what a slayer was all changed when I met her

(insert two or three famous seense of Dialogue between Kendra and Buffy in italics as flashback points) smy smiled widened as i got up streaching I was resless it was a dark with a full moon out.I had just woke up from my little nap something has crossed my mind thease strange dreams about this man which i cant make his face out.I frowned A layers dreams always ment something I just hope that it wasn't apocalyptic this time

i sure miss buffy she was a great slayer we teamed up to fight for whats rights on numerus ocasions, since she moved away from sunnydayle it's been different i feel as if im in this alone but im never alone.

Now to be truthfully honest with you, do you want to have kendra in sunnydale with all of Buffys people, it has been done too much and it feel like your sitcking kendra in to fit.

If i were you this is what i would do, put kendra in Africa, if you follow the show you know the first slayer was actually rooted there, so to put her ther would be better, let her have her own team, but still talk to will giles etc by phone.

because of what happen in the end of Buffy you can have Buffy team on call because they were free to be anywhere, and if the story later becaomes serious you pull them in or pull them from were ever they are over to you or kendra.

Now Michael i have no clue what your going to do with him but my best guess is Vampire "duh" and of course love intrest. buffy and Angel all over again,

scrap it it's been done, first thing go back review kendra, shes a hard slayer shes all about her work her rule books, after being around Buffy she has soffened up but not that soft she still is kendra so shes a bit award with people, does she want love she craves it but she thinks about but she still keeps that hard shell on about her.

don't let Michael be able toget at her that easy make him work for it and make her sense be On high alert when ever around him but he still have that charm about him that keeps her coming back. and keep her guarded and trying to figure him out, tension needs to be intense with these too palpuble. as the audience we need to be able to feel her anxiety and his fear and intrigue, play a cat and mouse game withe too, and if your going to make him the vampire don't let the audience no off the bat that that is what he is put him in a nutrial ground place bar a cafe at night when they first meet so even the reader is slightly confused on his angle it will keep people coming back.

give her a life outside of the slaying, is she in college does she have a job a family, give her the same intrapments that buffy has but different her story is laid out for you in Buffy when she explains hersel take it and run, if you do this right you can do a GREAT Buffy related/Michael crossing  

If you think I've over stepped my bounds then ignore everything I just said and DO YOU if you like the advice and want my help writing this story, my e-mail is tscbtvs@yahoo.com e-mail me I would love to help you, together i think i can help you make this flick Buffy/Michael or Kendra/Michael gold

 

Author's Response:

i like your ideas it's actually my first time wrting so it's bit of a challange with for me. i was sort of thinking of a spin off of buffy. since i luv kendra now i would like to make a kendra and michael story. but i want it to be intresting and not sounding stupid lolz since im an unexperienced writer. i just been testing my skills out. i ould love for you to help me with this story. your ideas are good. if you want u can be my co author and help me out. this one is a challange i would erase the chapter and do it all over again with your help.  mind u im pretty bad at this stuff lolz and thank you for the help and suggestions:)