Reviewer: Xaviersdaman Anonymous [Report This]
Date: Mar 07, 2012 02:16 pm Title: Chapter 4: The talent show

This is a good story and I like how it's about friendship where most stories are all about rated R stuff. I think you've got a good idea and I'd keep reading if you continued the updates.

The detail was good. You didn't over do it nor did you under do it. Sometimes you missed a few letters/periods here and there but it's just minor typos so maybe you should proofread your work so you catch those little mistakes.

Also, when theres dialogue, you should start a new paragraph when you switch speakers. Most of the time, thats what you did, but sometimes it was not the case.

All in all, this is one of the better written stories I have read so far!

Author's Response: Thank you!! I'll try to edit the typos and I'll work on the dialogue more. Thanks for taking the time to read and thanks for the criticism!!!