Penname: NeelzLovesMJ [Contact] Real name:
Member Since: Aug 14, 2016
Membership status: Member
Bio:

Hellooo people of mjfic.com!


I'm an author here and writing has been a passion of mine since a very early age. I love all things literary - whether it's reading or writing. I adore literature and am huge fan of John Steinbeck, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Shakespeare and C.S Lewis among others. I also study English Literature and one of my favourite novels ever is The Great Gatsby.


I'm currently doing A-Levels in the UK, but outside of school, I'm an avid artist and have been drawing since I was in nappies. Another creative hobby of mine is music - I sing and play and I'm learning how to produce using software.


Music in general is a great part of my life and I listen to mainly Hip-Hop and R&B, both from today and from the 90s, though I like my House and Dancehall too. 


I grew up around MJ and his music and he fascinates and inspires me. My favourite allbum of his is Bad, as is the era, though I love him from 1958-2009. I combined two of the loves of my life and ended up writing a fanfiction story on this site. I take pride in my written work and doing anything creative is like a release for me. 


I'm still young and don't really know what I'll do in life XD but as for now, I know that I want to keep writing until the story is finished for you guys. 


Beta-reader: No
Gender: Female
Age: 18-21
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Reviews by NeelzLovesMJ
Summary:

 

To the world I'm the reason the Jackson Five is breaking apart. 
To the Jacksons I'm the reason Michael Jackson's career is ruined. 
To my family I'm the reason for my parent's broken heart. 

But to him I'm the love of his life. 

Pregnant with Michael Jackson’s baby at nineteen years-old, Renee finds her life turning upside down.

“None of this means anything if that means you’re going to leave.”
···
“Everyone is blaming me like I made this baby by myself when I didn’t!”

 


Categories: Jackson 5: 1965-1975, Off The Wall: 1975-1981, Thriller: 1982-1983
Characters: Michael, Original Girl
General Warnings: Some Scenes of a Sexual Nature
Trigger Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 14 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 45488 Read Count: 4438
[Report This] Published: Sep 16, 2017 Updated: Jul 31, 2018
Reviewer: NeelzLovesMJ Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: Mar 20, 2018 Title: Chapter 8: Chapter 7

OMG. Well to say it's been a while would be an understatement, girl! I, for one, am glad you're back with another update! 

No no noooo fam. I'm worried about Renee...should she be working that much in her condition? Desperate times call for desperate measures but I'm sure the shop can hire someone who DOESN'T have another human inside of them LOL. I'm just concerned for her pregnancy (given her age) and hope it's smooth-sailing and she is ok, and the baby is ok too. Wow interesting seeing Michael in the studio!! I personally always love when stories have this aspect of realism - his career. So recordings and albums and tourings, award shows etc...it's so cool when it's incorporated and as authors, it's fun to play around with it!

Haha the shade at La-Toya's voice...(someone had to say it though). 

LOL THIS GETS FUNNIER, first Renee was nearly caught about to get down and dirty with Michael and then he refuses to let Toy hear his material because he know's she's gonna steal XD idk if you've seen it (and bless your eyes if you haven't), but La-Toya's live rendition of 'Shake Your Body' is so CRINGE and just legit laughable. Okay serious now fr - why are Michael's brothers upset? Acting like they didn't cheat on their wives and have kids with other women, who never interfered wiith their touring and stuff, but suddenly Michael and Renee's baby will? Bye. At least they're trying to make this work despite the opinions of those around them. FR. 

OOOO THE NAME DROP! YASS HAHA, so that's what Michael is thinking! Brianna is nice! I love how he just casually said it XD. The only thing that made me smile even more is how much Michael cares for her. Even better they addressed their feelings at the end which is so important. It makes me optimistic that they'll get through this alright - I just hope nothing changes. 

Great, well-needed update, Brandy! 



Author's Response:

Sorry it took so long! 

I think for now she's okay. She's nearing three months and since she was relatively tiny from the beginning she's not that big, but she does have a small little bump. The baby hasn't had any complications so for now she should be okay, but if I was her I'd be looking for something different myself! And I very seldom write Michael in the studio, so it's exciting when I do! We're getting ready for off the wall girl so we have award shows, parties, all of that coming up as Renee progresses in her pregnancy. 

LOL no shade, no shade, but it is really pitchy. You'd know who's talking without even looking up. And I've never heard her rendition and since you say it's bad I doubt if i ever will LOL. I agree with Michael's brothers. They have families and wives, but are upset with Michael and Renee's situation? It's unfair. Yes, yes, yes Michael did drop a name and throughout the chapters he might drop a few more I have yet to decide *taps chin* but we will see! 

I hope they get through it too, but we will definitely see. 

Thanks so much girl. I appreciate you reading! 

Reviewer: NeelzLovesMJ Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: Jul 15, 2018 Title: Chapter 12: Chapter 11

Sorry I'm late! Okay I lowkey spoiled this chapter for myself bc I clicked on reviews and I seen what happens. BUT, twice as excited to read it happen!

I think the deal with Evie is legit just her jealousy; if Michael's gonna be different to his brothers and rather protect Ren, then so be it. That doesn't mean that he's up to some shady business or he's ashamed of her...even though he doesnt't know it yet, he's also gonna be the most famous outta the bunch! But I don't know if this safety from the media will last; I think Renee better enjoy her privacy while she has it. 

The scene with Renee's family was hard to read. I felt bad for her, feeling isolated within her own fam. I don't get why they're treating her that way, being pregnant doesn't make her invisible...if anything, they should be paying more attention to her. Omg me and Ren's family are about to have beef. HALF THAT BABY IS MICHAEL'S they need to stop blaming her. I didn't expect a full-on argument to ensue but that shit was intense af. Fr, the way they're acting towards Renee is causing her to become more self-deprecating and she's tryna seal herself off from Michael's family too. I'm just glad she got someone. 

Girllll you had me tearing up with that letter!!! IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL, you wrote it so well, I really feel like that is something he would write! I love love love that he proposed to her. Oh mannnnn you are so wrong for leaving it there, Brandy. I need to know what she decides ASAFP. But my prediction is that she will say...no. IDK! Seems like she has way too many opps right now and if she goes and elopes it's just gonna make stuff worse on the family-side of things. But like I said a couple chapters ago, I think that being married to each-other will provide a better environment to raise Mango in so what I'm hoping is that she actually says yes. Maybe she can go live with Michael at Havenhurst and throw the deuces up to her fam. 

I LOVED this chapter so much man. Length and dynamics were on point! And fr, you go back on the 20th August?! That's so early wtf, you go back a whole month before I start university! But I hope the updates keep coming in until then! 



Author's Response:

Neelz you cheater, you. LOL It's okay I sometimes read the reviews before reading the chapter. It's so hard not to. 

Evie could be jealous, yes. But I do agree with you. If Michael wants to be different from his brothers and have a better guard of his relationship with Renee then so be it. He is allowed to do that because it's his relationship. It's funny how you say you don't know how long the safety from the media will last... Especially with Off The Wall preparing for release....

Yes, half of the baby is Michael's and it's something how often times than not a lot of the blame is put on the girl. Michael gets to breeze by a little but Renee is left taking the blame and it's a shame that it happens in real life. The guy should be just as cautious if not more than the girl. Definitely agree with her pulling away from both families, but it's nice that Katherine is trying to squeeze herself in there. Hopefully Renee continues to talk to Katherine. 

Awww, thank you! Sometimes I feel like a huge cornball when writing those letters lmao. I'm glad I got in touch with my inner Michael then. Of course he proposed to her girrrrrrl. He married Debbie Rowe just so she wouldn't have his kids out of wedlock. I think that marriage before kids is something he truly valued and I want to keep that present in all of my stories if I can. You think she's gonna say no?? LOL read the newest update and be shocked girl. LMAO I'm weak everyone wants her to move into Hayvenhurst. But Michael has big plans when he returns *rub hands like birdman*

Thanks so much for the support!! And girl yes, earlier than a mf. I'm trying to write almost every day so that way I have chapters stacked up to post. That way all I have to do is read over them and do small revisions. It's better than trying to write a chapter from scratch. Is this your first year of University? Dawg I swore you were older or the same age as me. Girl, you make my writing look like... eh! 

Again thanks for reading! 

Reviewer: NeelzLovesMJ Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: Jul 03, 2018 Title: Chapter 11: Chapter 10

It's been a hot second since this has been updated, I'm excited to finally sit down and read!

Okay I just absolutely love seeing Michael take such good care of Ren. Is Kash gonna be sticking around? Because I'm already getting bad vibes from her and I'm all about that positivity. Holy shit she's four months in already and they still have no clear plan of how their child will be raised? This has got me stressing and I can feel something bad about to happen - I feel it. In regards to your end notes, YES I MISSED THEM LOL! Renee seems like a naive girl and if Michael's not around for the first two months of their baby's life, I think the girl would crash and burn all by herself. This doesn't sound like the kind of thing she's going to be capable of doing by herself, and yeah in a way - I'ma just come out and say it - it is because of her young age. But I'm not worrying too much. Michael has proven his dedication to her and I know he won't let this happen. Well, he better not, or Thriller Boy is cancelled and that's no joke! I hope some kind of compromise can be reached by September. Maybe Michael could take a hiatus from touring? I mean, at least that way, Jermaine can finally be in the limelight and that means no more beef right? I'm jk, but I cannottt waittttt to see what's gonna happen here.

I know you have several stories ongoing, but please continue this, Brandy! I IS HERE FOR DIS. This is one of the very few that I actually read, and I enjoy reading it. Feels like there's too much brewing up at the moment and I'd hate to not be able to see the outcome. Catch you back here soon! Also I meant to ask you, how did your finals go? 



Author's Response:

Kash... we're going to see more of Kash, yes. 

Nope! No plan yet. They have a lot of things to discuss but Michael was only home for a limited time. When he returns things will start to be set in stone but it's going to get a little rocky... spoiler alert lmao. Anyway, I'm glad you missed them! I love writting them as I do my other couples. I do agree. Renee is naive and it has a lot to do with her age, yes. 19 is grown but is freshly gone. You haven't really taken care of yourself and taking care of another human being can be hard especially if you didn't plan it. Michael being famous doesn't help either. 

He's definitely dedicated to Renee, but... well you'll find out for yourself. Mwahahaha. Okay I'm playing around. Back to being serious Michael could take a hiatus from the tour but that would mean he's upsetting his fans and we know that Michael loves and lives for his fans happiness. They'll come to a decision soon enough and let's just hope that everyone is happy about it. LMAOOO @ Jermaine being the headliner of the tour... talk about some empty stadiums and arenas there'll be. I'm such an ass LOL. 

Yessss I write a thousand stories haha but I do plan on continuing this and the support that I get from you guys makes it 10x better and more enjoying to write. It's been longer than I wanted but the new update up. 

As for final girrrrrl them shits had me like 

But I'm so freaking happy that they're over!! I do start school back up on the 20 of August which is why I'm trying to get as much updating in as I possibly can within these next five weeks. Y'all about to get tired of me but OH WELL. 

Reviewer: NeelzLovesMJ Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: Apr 23, 2018 Title: Chapter 10: Chapter 9

Ha yes they'll grow, Renee - that's what pregnancy does to the female body. I see you've done your research on the Jackson fam! Renee's dong everything right, like surrounding herself with people who are bascially experiencing the same things as her, given how alone she's been with this whole thing...she needs support.

You mean JERMAINE is sour since leaving Motown. I have reciepts of Jermaine's saltiness ok, e.g. 'Word to the Badd'. LOL. Anyway, I hope Michael's career doesn't interfere with his relationship with Renee. We all know that Michael going solo changed the mf game what with the success of OTW and Thriller. This chapter was great, I loved the dynamics. The ending was especially lovely...the wishes they made; it really proves their innocence at their young age, yet it's almost ironic in a wonderful way since she's going to be a mother. Not telling what their wishes were was a good idea *DJ Khaled 'you smart'*, because I hope that they wished for a future with each-other in it, where everything is all good and they're happily raising lil lime. But do wishes always come true?

Also, nothing you write is 'boring'! This story is lit, and the pacing and progression doesnt feel too rushed nor too slowed. Now i really know Michael and Renee as characters, and I care about them and what happens to them. Keep 'em coming, Brandy!!



Author's Response:

Awww, thank you so much for your support Neelz! And I try to do my best when it comes to the research if I'm trying to be timeline correct lol. Girl lets not even talk about "Word to the Badd" shit was terrible. He tried it. I think Michael was a little upset when Jermaine left but he moved passed it (at least in my eyes). The wishes will definitely be revealed a little later in the story. 

Thanks so much for your review and reading. It means a lot! 

Reviewer: NeelzLovesMJ Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: Apr 23, 2018 Title: Chapter 9: Chapter 8

"I read that if a woman eats a lot of spicy food then the baby will come out bald." 

I rarely actually laugh aloud and lose my shit when I'm reading stories, but THIS CRACKED ME TF UP LMFAO, where did Michael read this?! Omg he'd be the best, yet most clueless father ever. All jokes aside, it's assuring to see these two educate themselves, especially since they're going to be young parents. It shows they're really going to take care of lil lime and they recognise that a baby is a huge responsbility.

Okay...first, I am not saying that teen pregnancy has got to be in any way easy - it was unexpected for Renee, and I know just like most young girls do, she pictured having her first child when she's older, perhaps a little more mature and preferably settled down. But when she complained about how she's "so damn fertile", it kinda sounded low-key...unappreciative? And like regret? Idk if she was joking orrr it could just be her hormones and everything she's currently dealing with, but what she said stood out to me particularly because I now know how lucky a woman has gotta be if she's perfectly fertile...I mean - I have PCOS bro! I'd rather be OVERLY-FERTILE than INfertile. She needs to be aware that there are lots of girls who, by nature, won't be able to concieve/have children as easily as she has; she shouldn't really complain about it. Fair enough she's 19 but come on fam...don't overlook the importance of what you got. (Plus I know she's not on some Kylie Jenner shit and she'll be a good mum XD). 

Totally agree with Renee and wanting to stay out of the media's eyes. I seriously love how comfortable these two are with each-other. Somebody get them their own house, and two wedding rings. And then they can raise this baby the right way. BUT they should only marry if they want to make that committment, as if a baby isn't enough committment, they shouldn't just tie the knot because Renee's pregnant and it will validate everything or whatever. It would probably offer a better environment to raise their child in though...so yeah, they should do it! HELL YEAH. 

Reviewer: NeelzLovesMJ Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: Jul 17, 2018 Title: Chapter 13: Chapter 12

OMGYASBEETCH

OK OK WAIT. I have. so much. to say. I read your response and I jumped to this chapter without thinking twice LOL. 

FIRSTLY, I just freaking love how Michael didn't even have to ask her straight up, something like 'well, what do you say?', in regards to the proposal. He made her say yes again because he couldn't believe it awwwwww mannnn the feels THE FKING FEELS BRANDY. This is the positivity Ren needs in her life and i cannot express how happy I felt while reading about her own happiness. She deserves this and so much more! 

This chapter is definitely going down as one of my faves so far for obvious reasons but also bc I liked the frequent interchanging POVs which really intensified things, and I can see why you did that (Ima get to that in a sec), and because of the two distinct moods you created in the space of like 2000 words. IT'S LIT. So, this Monica girl...I can totally see why Ren acted the way she did towards those rumours, which is natural, but I know she gonna come between my happy couple. Clearly good things don't last too long but I think Michael should tell her soon that he's not a single pringle anymore and she can goooooo awayyyyy. Be gone thot. Jk but better sooner than later. Pleaseeee don't let Ren's heart get broken, no matter what!

So far this story has been straight-forward. The use of a timeline helps keep things guided which is what I do too. I think flashbacks need skill for them to work effectively and you've used them well throughout! I know that as writers, our plans rarely ever stay the same and when they change, things can get a bit wtf. Defo continue with the flashbacks bc they bring out a lot of the story because your characters have so much history - like I hope to see one involving Michael and Monica! Of course keep them where needed - you know that if I ever have questions, I'll ask you in a review. Y u stress?! As for the non-story-talk, I'm 18 and yes I do start my first ever year of Uni in September! Gonna be moving out so I'll be broke af and have to 'adult' and no you're a way better writer than me - don't even go there!! I'm gonna read Burned tomorrow, still need to gather my emotions but until then I'll see you soon!! Amazing af update fam.



Author's Response:

LOL you saw I said she would say yes didn't you? 

I had to give y'all the feels son, whatchu meaaaan lol. Ren does deserve happiness I agree and in due time she's going to get there (maybe) but I'm not going to say too much because I refuse to give the story away. 

Thank youuuuu for marking it as a fave. I hate switching POVs like that but for this chapter I literally had no choice LOL. I could've made it all from Renee's POV but then it would've been too short and the same if I made it strictly from Michael's POV so I just switched between the two. I was hoping it wasn't too much... glad to see it wasn't. 

I wouldn't say Monica is going to come in between them necessarily... but when people overthink a lot of the time things can be looked at the wrong way... if that makes sense. "Be gone thot" lolololol noooo I wasn't ready. As for Ren's heart getting broken... what is the true definition of a heart break? Tell me sis, cuz I wanna know. 

Thank you! Sometimes me and flashbacks don't get along and I thought they were really messing this story up, but I see that they are not which enough for me to keep it going. Exactly. Plans change all the time and next thing i know I want to take my story in fifty different directions thus fucking up my synopsis entirely. Me stress because me is a natural stresser/worrier. I worry waaaay to much. 

Girl you trippin. You got mad skill, son. I ain't even close! And i hope you enjoy the hell out of your first year of college. Live it to the fullest. Study hard, party harder. LMAO

Reviewer: darkmc912 Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: Nov 05, 2017 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 5

Ok first - that secretary. I’m about to catch these hands! LOL she has no chill wow. TBH I think Michael should just the stupid paternity test done. It’s obvious the baby is Renee’s but if he doesn’t comply with Joseph it’s just going to make it worse like he might aswell just do it.

One thing I noticed was how Renee’s emotions change sooooo rapidly and how easily triggered she gets! Of course that’s because of her pregnancy hormones coming into play and I think you captured this type of circumstance brilliantly. Like one second she’s flustered and enjoying the bacon and Michael’s company, and then Michael drops that he might need to get tested. Way to ruin the moment bruh! Lmao fr tho, he should support her decision to move to her Aunt Myra’s. At this point in time, the BEST thing he can do is support her because clearly not everyone is on Renee’s side (which sucks). Aside from that I wanna know what names Michael has thought of no lieπŸ˜‚

I really am impressed with the types of descriptions you write regarding emotions as well as actions - “I chewed slowly as I reflected on his words”. That whole scene was really tense but again they got over it with their reminiscing. You’ve made it super easy to visualise everything. I also think the pacing is fine it’s steady and the addition of flashbacks enhance the reading experience. I hope Renee continues to stay optimistic and maybe doing what SHE wants will assure this... 



Author's Response:

LOL yeah the secretary was a little out of line. As for if the Michael will get it done or not we will see. He may to prove Joseph wrong, or he might not because it could hurt Renee's feelings. Either way we'll see as the story progresses. 

Ren's mood changes are very up and down, but as you mentioned it's the pregnancy homormones, as well as the stress taking turns on her. Thanks so much for all the compliments you made about my writing it made me smile and I really appreciate it!

Thanks so much for reading as well and I hope you stick around for the future! 

Summary:

 



.

In the Summer of '97, Eva leaves India to move to London where she will be staying with her troublesome twin cousins, Aadesh and Adil, as well as her stern Grandma Riya. 
She meets Michael, an aspiring photographer, and they form a close bond. 
There's only one problem. 
Eva is to have an arranged marriage in one year. Her husband-to-be has a dark, cruel side which only Eva knows. 
Can Michael save her from the marriage? Will Eva's secrets from life in India catch up with her?

 

Disclaimer: I own characters and their backgrounds used in this story. Everything else belongs to their rightful owners.


Categories: Drama, Family, Hurt/Comfort, Humor, Romance, Suspense
Characters: Michael, Original Girl
General Warnings: None
Trigger Warnings: Emotional Abuse, Racism
Series: None
Chapters: 28 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 76487 Read Count: 17530
[Report This] Published: Sep 24, 2017 Updated: Jan 05, 2019
Reviewer: NeelzLovesMJ Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: Nov 10, 2017 Title: Chapter 8: VIII

Seems like Eva was completely out of her element for this one. That was one interesting party mao never heard of teenagers use HEROIN. Lmao. Wonder where they got it from. At least Michael was there so she would have some company bc it’s not like she knew anyone there but she’s gotta learn to adapt I suppose. Their dance was sweet, loved Michael’s shyness when he asked if he could drop her home, and tbh I’m just glad they all made it home in one piece. Great chapter tomato <3



Author's Response:

Oh hush lol. Teens can find what they want and bring it to the party! It's a party man chill ha.of course she has to adapt and learn she doesn't have to have it so it's fine. They are precious in their own way. At least the car didn't break down lol. Thanks onion πŸ˜‚ 

Reviewer: darkmc912 Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: Nov 03, 2017 Title: Chapter 7: VII

Whatevvv I wanted to read this. Bye. 

I loved that entire hair scene with Michael and EvaπŸ˜‚I remember when we discussed it and she I totally asked if she could touch his hair and then I convinced you to make Eva just do it out of the blue haha, I’m glad it’s his way because it’s soooo much more loose, more playful, kinda sexy how she instead spontaneously catches him off guard to cop a feel. Yes Eva. Lmao. Michael questions where Paul’s tea is. HAHAHAHA relatable!!!! Maybe that’s why Paul is being extra annoying lmao he doesn’t have his damn tea with him. Other people need a Snickers bc they’re not themselves. PAUL NEEDS TEA. 

Sweetu. L M A O (forever despising this term of endearment, like when random aunties I’ve never met call me that)

legit tho how did Paul find her house lmao! He’s so weird. He’s like one of those characters on a sitcom that needs their own spinoff. I can see Eva and mike def get closer what with breaking the touch barriers. I can wait to read this party!πŸ‘€ lowkey glad the twins aren’t going they would pester Eva the whole time but it’s typical they’d want to attend a college party. Knowing Paul, it’s prob gonna be crazy af. Is Michael gonna be there? He better be!! 

Why’s you leave us hangin!!! Update soon tomato!  Xx



Author's Response:

Gosh on you can't even be sly when admitting it? Girl bye lmao. Eva had the curiosity and she didn't let that stop her from touching the afro lol. Yes Paul needs his tea just like the snickers advert and if not come off extra sassy lmao. I don't know Paul has his ways and I think he does need his own spin off with himself and his harem ew lol. The party is going to be lit and the twins don't care they'd find a way to get involved ish. Of course Mike has to be there can't let his friend be alone lool. I'll never leave you hanging it's coming soon onion! Thanks as always for funny comments πŸ˜‚

Reviewer: NeelzLovesMJ Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: Dec 30, 2017 Title: Chapter 13: XIII

I have time to read this!!!

YAS OMFG A DAY IN THE LIFE OF PAUL!!! What a treat! Haha of course Paul needs a king-sized bed! He's not even just a ladies man; he belongs in the playboy mansion XD. Man, Joel is annoying af tho. Now - is Paul there to shop for clothes, or for girls? LOL. Their little scheme so Paul can chat up Georgina was brilliant omg. Paul should legit pay Joel for agreeing to it haha. Plus, it worked, so...!

YES HIS EGO IS HIGH. He starts calling her 'Dear Georgie', what a charmer lol! Clearly Paul has quite a reputation, but he defff lives up to it. I already told you I wasn't expecting to see Michael and Eva in this chapter but that's the beauty of this chapter - what I love most about this is that it's a look into what Paul does all day, leading up to when he finally settles and finds time to spend with his two best fwends, Mike and 'The Famous Eva'. It's also just interesting because we hear about Paul talk about his women and all, but actually reading and seeing what goes on behind the scenes, as I did in this chapter, has made it my favourite by FAR. 

You already know I've loved this Paul since day 1 and you knowww I wanted this, so thank you soooo much for making it happen! It seems like I'm asking one thing after another from you but PAUL NEEDS HIS OWN SPINOFF SEQUEL-THING OF HIM AND HIS PURSUE OF GEORGIA LOLLL. But that's a different story (quite literally). Loved this so much, Lorry! <3 Was so worth the wait. 



Author's Response:

yass I'm surpised Paul hasn't even started his own playboy mansion and made his money minus the shady stuff lmao. well Paul is a smart cunning guy behind all that gentleman manner lol. he already calls poor georgie she ain't feeling him but she will learn to deal with him eventually. Paul always has time for his friends even when he should be getting his work done and getitng ready to take over from a business smh. gosh i'd love to make a spinoff for them but for now i'll have more filler chapters of paul's persuit for poor gegorie lmao. I'm glad you enjoyed it so much Onion!! <3

Reviewer: darkmc912 Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: Oct 30, 2017 Title: Chapter 6: VI

Lmao Paul with his tea is so me. YAS MICHAEL PSL IS LIT LOLLL that's why I love this time of year. He's such a ladies man and then Michael is just refraining from being a total f-boy lol. Love that she finally met Paul. Calls her "the famous Eva". HAHAH MICHAEL WUT HAVE YOU BEEN TELLING PAUL. i can see why she's taken aback by Paul and his hoes I mean female friends because that kinda thing would be wronggggggg assss fffff in India. TRUST 

I think Paul def likes her. Not as much as Michael though....but she seriously is denouncing any possibilty that they will ever be together? Well she IS someone's fiance, but ouch....lol

Ofc Uncle Roy is up to his usual uncle-antics lmao. When he said he feels lucky I thought that meant Jay was maybe gonna let him smash OK BYE LOLLLLL.  Fr tho, Roy and Jay are just goals. Legit. Where do I sign up for their type of relationship awwww XD take notes, Michael! 

ALSO GET WITH THE TIMES EVA LOL

Need more of Michael and Eva's time together please! Perhaps they can do more fun stuff rather than watch the game bc we already know how adventurous Michael is. Another photoshoot with Mike as the annoying director? XD Wonderfully done sis <3



Author's Response:

This whole comment had me laughing. You are so silly onion lmao. I agree Paul has his harem and clearly don't care lol. At least they got along somewhat to Michael's relief. Yass relationship goals for the win with aunt Jay and uncle Roy! And don't be silly smh lol. Of course Mike will find another way to annoy her haha. Your wish is my command. Thanks little one<3

Reviewer: NeelzLovesMJ Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: Nov 18, 2017 Title: Chapter 9: IX

Love their car bantering they're like a younger version of Uncle Roy and Aunt Jay lmao. I like how he wanted to learn more about Eva's culture. I def have that spice jar palette thing with like 6 individual pots of spices LOL. Michael's a wuss - can't even handle the smell of chilli powder...he should try my mum's cooking lmao he'd DIE haha. Funny scene there when Michael had to HIDE from that terrifying Riya - reminded me of a similar siuation I wrote once <3.

SHE KISSED HIM AW!!!! kind of. Mike prob thinks he's already going out with Eva, considering Janet 'knows about her', lol but I can't get enough of their time together it's lit. Wondeful tomatoooo <3 



Author's Response:

they are going heading into that direction without even knowing ha. Michael is a curious guy and he wants to know more about her. it's sad he can't handle the spice. spice is life and delicious lol. he defo won't be able to handle your mother's cooking but i'll glad go in his place to try your mum's cooking. well Better to be safe and away from her racist ass -rolls eyes-. yes one step closer eh well in between and who knows what's going on in michael's mind won't be surpised if he's thinking of that lol. thanks onion <3 

Reviewer: NeelzLovesMJ Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: Jan 21, 2018 Title: Chapter 14: XIV

What up. It’s ya girl. Here to read and review! 

Ok 5th May yeah. CHRIS BROWN’S BIRTHDAY OMG LOL. Daadi’s obliviousness to Vikram’s true nature just makes this 10x more ironic and I love it. Nice that you added some visuals! Would be great to see more of these. It’s always tough, as writers, going into detail about what scenery/character appearances look like, but a picture can say more than words which is useful. McDonalds. Classy, Mike. Also spice isn’t unhealthy bye Michael. Aw cutest ‘friends’ ever! She’s taking care of him! And she held his hand! *screaming*

But all that sweetness is just ruined by Vik’s hitmen. Still not used to seeing my cousin’s name in there LOL but I’m honestly on the edge rn. “Nothing will harm you in my presence” THE IRONY. Well he was right. They were both ok...sounded like more of a warning. He should’ve told Eva what just happened instead of putting them both in danger.

BOY NAMED KENDRICK DOES HIS SECOND NAME HAPPEN TO BE LAMAR LOL 😁. I really liked the dynamics of this chapter, lots of diff settings and emotions going on. The ending was kinda grim fam. Vik clearly expected more and by the looks of it, he’s gonna get what he wants. Michael needs to be more careful and he needs to tell her what’s going on fam...this involves her too. Great update Lorry! 



Author's Response:

I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS HIS BIRTHDAY CHILD. PURE CONDINENCE lool. Daadi needs a reality check but I dounbt she will with how brain washed she is smh. yeah i agree the part that stumps me most is trying to describe the place even with research. great time for a picture ha! lmao. oh come he is a teenager not a popstar *cough cough* sheesh let him live (cheaply bang bang). I see you clocked on their 'friendship status' and yass finally they are getting somewhere *squeals~*. sadly sweetness doesn't last long when vik isn't around he sucks all the life out of the ze room and i agree mike should have but he didn't which we will find out soon why he didn't hmm. shhhhhh his last name ISN'T Lamar gosh lmao. yes mike needs to be careful but we shall how it goes with the pair working together lol. THANKS MY PRECIOUS BABY <3

Reviewer: NeelzLovesMJ Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: Dec 15, 2017 Title: Chapter 12: XII

Ah forbidden love everywhere. I get why the twins are being cautious about Sophia and Aadesh’s secret relationship but I completely agree with Adil here - legit, I don’t think Eva will mind lmao...she can prob relate, seeing as her closeness with Michael isn’t exactly going to be approved by her grandma. And I can only imagine Riya’s reaction to finding out about them both. I just pray it never happens - esp not at the same time! πŸ˜‚ Marcus why is he back. He can take several seats, tf he think he is calling my tea-man Paul an ALBINO? SEATS. They’re all a bunch of kids tho LOL. 

Also the little kiss scene was well written fr. Don’t be nervous about them! Loved it ❀️🍅



Author's Response:

indeed forbidden love is flourishing lol. I agree too Eva won't mind as well since she is growing closer to mike and well who cares what the old hag thinks smh and it will be legenadary when she finds out but let's be hopeful she will never find out yikes. Marcus needs to leave and find himself a therapist for all that pent up anger smh. yas how dare he call our tea loving fella an albino! blamspherry! and all of em need time out in the kid corner lmao, ugh I'm not looking forward to the actual kissing stage gah but thanks Onion I tried! 

Reviewer: NeelzLovesMJ Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: Mar 11, 2018 Title: Chapter 15: XV

This act that Eva and Vikram both have to keep up around Riya wow. Weird af...! Aw she feels like is the end for her and Michael already and although it seems impossible at the moment LOVE will find a way! Michael’s already a lot more optimistic than she is. So glad to see Adil has had a change of heart too - Eva doesn’t need any more ops in her life lol. Haha why does Roy swear so unneccesarily? Anyway I like how no matter what the occasion or what they do, it’s always a real fun time whenever Eva and Mike link up. They’re so comfortable with each-other by now but I can’t help but feel like trouble is brewing at the mere mention of Vikram. 😫 please let this last. Don’t want my two babies to be separated. 



Author's Response:

the whole act is just cringy ew. i agree LOVE will previal and find a way to get them out of this mess. Its good to see at least one twin agrees but we can only hope and pray Aadesh has a change of heart too and soon! Poor Eva lool. Uncle Roy will swear to his heart's content without a care given lmao. I'm so glad too whereever they go they have fun nonethless but Vik is always watching in the shadows and can only get worse from here! I will never keep them seperated -evil smirk- cough never. Thanks onion!