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Chapter Two: This Is Injustice

I had no indication anything was wrong. Everyone continued working hard to put on a great show. There weren’t any glitches, energy was high except for the worried glances Larry had given me once I was off stage.

We were on our way back to my dressing room so I could quickly get changed and leave straight away.

I passed two fans that I knew very well from my travels. I had no idea how they got in, but I wasn’t alarmed. They were okay.

“Hi!” I exclaimed. It was usually a bit like this, after I finished shows, I was exhausted and smelly and dripping with sweat but usually I was in a state of euphoria that wouldn’t allow me to rest for hours afterwards until I’d just crash.

I could only remember the name of one of the girls. Larry tried to pull me past them, but I resisted because I hated to disappoint my fans and I could tell that however they got past security was an effort worth commending.

“Michael!” the taller, blond of the two exclaimed happily despite tear stains that had adorned her cheeks. Sometimes fans became overwhelmed at shows. I was a little immune to the tears so I said nothing about it.

Both girls were attractive but the shorter, brunette of the two appealed to me the most. She was so pretty to look at. I thought that perhaps she may have had some kind of Asian background. She had large dark eyes and a dazzling smile. I only remembered her name because it was so unique.

“The show was so wonderful,” the shorter girl gushed. I guess I appreciated her more because she didn’t say too much. She didn’t kiss my ass in a typical way. She didn’t say a lot and I didn’t think it was because she was shy, but she was always a little stoic around me. She saved her words for ones that always meant something.

They went to hug me, but I was aware that I didn’t smell amazing.

I hesitated before chuckling, “I’m sorry, I’m a bit harsh on the nose.” I apologized.

“I’m sure you smell great!” blondie grinned, staring at me with her large, piercing green eyes. 

“What were your names again, I’m so sorry?” I asked not wanting to offend the tall blond by only remembering her friend’s name.

“Beth,” she supplied as she hugged me tightly despite my warning, “I can’t believe you don’t remember!” she teased me, “you saw us last week in Costa Rica!”

I smiled humbly, “I know, I know, I have an awful memory,” I looked to her friend expectantly. She smiled sweetly and hugged me. Her hug seemed to say more to me.

“My name is Malania,” she reminded me, “its okay that you didn’t remember, you probably meet about a thousand different faces every day,” she added, holding my gaze.

Yep, a thousand different faces, but I still always remembered this beauty. Her almond-shaped, darker-than-chestnut eyes showed such kindness and tenderness. That wasn’t to say the blonde friend who stood patiently didn’t interest me. These two girls were probably two of my most favourite of my following fans, but I just took more to Malania for whatever reason.

“Michael has to leave, ladies, I’m very sorry,” Larry spoke up finally clearing his throat. He had an air of urgency about him and went to speak in to his radio that had been attached to his belt. 

“I got time, Larry,” I told him. He gave me the stink eye which I pretended not to see.

“So how’d you get back here? Are my guys taking a nap tonight?” I joked, looking also to Larry for an answer. 

Beth shrugged her shoulders, “we came in….carefully,” she winked at Malania. They both giggled sheepishly.

“We didn’t want to intrude, but we thought it was important to tell you how much we love you. I have my whole family praying for you and I don’t even care what they’re saying because we know you’d never har-“

“Michael really has to go,” Larry cut in with more urgency, “come on Michael.” 

“No, wait… what do you mean?” I asked Malania, feeling concern over take me. It was just a twinge of concern since I had long forgotten about the stupidity of what I’d been told was happening back home right before I went on stage.

The two girls exchanged glances of shock and horror.

“Um… the things that were reported—“ Beth added, “we don’t believe them. We will always be by your side.” 

I felt my airways closing up. I tried to keep my cool and glanced over at Larry as if for an explanation. 

“Are you talking about the rumours in the news?” I pressed, “Larry has anything developed?” I asked, trying to get a clear confirmation from the three of them. 

“Michael this is not the ti-“

I drew in a deep breath and looked back at the two beauties in front of me that security were drawing near to. I held up my hand to them to signify them to back off. 

“Um yeah…” Malania nodded uncomfortably, “you know about it right?” 

“Yeah, Larry here briefed me before the show.” I tried to comfort her with my smile. Beth hugged me again. I wasn’t really ready for it and I almost stumbled back. The security guard went to do something but I shook my head again.


Beth had tears falling down her face when she drew away. She quickly tried to wipe them away. “Its-just-not-fair!” she hiccupped.

I looked to Malania who’s eyes were also filling with tears. She was blinking them back furiously. I knew from their reactions that something serious was going on. 

“Don’t worry, sweetheart,” I spoke to Beth despite the sinking feeling in my stomach, “I’ll be okay, I promise.” 

I reached my hand out to Malania and gave her hand a squeeze. These two were upset and frightened for me, yet I still wasn’t entirely certain why. “Thank you for coming to see me tonight, I’d better get changed and leave before the crowds get too rough okay?” 

The girls nodded and understood. I gave Malania a hug and thanked her for her prayers. 

“We love you so much Michael. Please don’t forget that,” she told me. Beth echoed her sentiments. 

I smiled at them both and watched the security escort them out. But for the life of me I still hadn’t seen hide nor hair of my personal security guard, Warren.

“Larry, what the hell is going on?” I hissed as we headed quickly in to the dressing room so I could grab a change of clothes. 

**

I wasn’t sure for how much longer I could hold it together. It hadn’t been more than half a day since the news story broke and already my personal security had walked. He had been working for me for more than 3 years. I didn’t understand how he could suddenly just get on a plane, homebound and leave me without so much as a word.

I made the mistake of turning on CNN when I got back to the hotel. It was worse than I could have ever imagined.

Jackson, 30 is currently touring North America on his Bad World Tour and tonight proved that ‘the show must go on’ as he seemed oblivious to the troubles he faces once he hits U.S soil.

A short time ago, Santa Barbara Country Sheriff Don Sheldon gave a statement to confirm the investigation against Jackson.

Despite the fact that my eyes watered, my body felt heavy with disbelief and my hands trembled uncontrollably, I couldn’t seem to flip the channel.

“We can confirm that the Los Angeles Police Department served a search warrant on Jackson’s property in Santa Barbara. We are looking for any evidence to support allegations of improper conduct between Jackson and a minor. No charges have been laid at this time, though we expect that may change over the course of the next few days.

Charges? Against me? For what!

I stood up and paced the room. I didn’t know what to do – Larry informed me that he had spent the whole time I was on stage liaising with my legal team.

How could someone accuse me of this? I knew there had to be a misunderstanding. I poured over all of my company in the past year. Of course I spent time with children—a lot of them, as well, yet… I couldn’t really think of too many that I was unattended with.

There were my typical nieces and nephews who often came to spend time with me on tour if there was a school vacation. Aubery, Iggy and Josh had come to stay a little over a month ago, but never in a million years would they have accused me of something so ridiculous.

There was Casey too. I almost smiled when I thought of Casey, she was the absolute light of my life. She and her Mom, Diane were as close as I would ever have to my own family. I knew Diane trusted me implicitly with her daughter. It was hard when I’d been on tour, Casey missed me so much, but I didn’t want to disrupt her schooling, given that she had really just began.

Nope, not Casey.

Who then?

Samuel was the only other kid I could think of. He was from a broken home and was the son of a friend of mine. Well, former friend. Perhaps that was it, revenge! I wouldn’t have put it past Dennis to pull some stupid thing like this.

How does someone come back from an accusation so vile, though, I wondered.

I threw the TV remote on the bed and sat down anxiously. I stared at the lavish design of the carpet beneath my feet. I felt alone. I had been advised to speak to not a single soul about what was happening unless it were my mother.

I wanted to speak to her so much but I knew she’d be in bed. If she hadn’t already heard what was going on, I didn’t want to concern her. 

I heard a rasp at my door. It awoke my thoughts. I jumped up assuming that it was Larry to give me some kind of update.

I was surprised to find Rosa standing before the sturdy oak entrance. She worked for me, we got along well, but we never saw one another outside of my dressing room. I felt very self-conscious, becoming acutely aware of my wet cheeks and my homely pajamas and grey hoodie.

“Rosa…”

She looked around the corridor a little nervously. “Mr. Jackson, I know we’re not friends, but I had to come and check on you.” 

I didn’t really know what to say. I didn’t want to be alone. I didn’t know her well, but I desperately didn’t want to be alone.

“Come in…” I stepped aside and allowed her to take a step inside. She was also looking more than a bit casual in a pair of dark grey sweat pants and a salmon v-cut shirt. 

“Are you okay?” she asked, “Larry and a couple of other guys told me not to bother you, but … I was concerned that no one is with you right now.” 

“Thank you…” I told her quietly, “no one has actually asked if I’m okay.”

“Are you?” she pressed, taking a seat on the couch that I had motioned for her to take. 

I shrugged, “I don’t know…” I replied honestly, “I’m trying to rationalize it, I turned on the TV and…” I sucked in a deep breath, “I dunno… I’m waiting for everyone to tell me it’s a joke.”

“Do you know who accused you?” she wondered curiously. I shook my head slowly; regretfully.

I glanced at her for a brief second, wondering if she knew. Perhaps she had watched more of the news than I had, maybe there was new information. “Do you?” 

I wiped away new tears that had left my eyes. I felt like an idiot crying in front of a woman that I barely knew. “What do you think of all this?” I asked in a soft voice as I finally stopped pacing and took a seat on my bed. “Do you think I did it?” 

She frowned at me and rose an eyebrow, “Mr Jackson, no, of course not. That never even passed through my mind.”  

“Michael,” I corrected the woman before me, “call me Michael, please.” 

I got up again and started pacing. I couldn’t keep still. When I was sitting, my legs were shaking, I had too much energy. “You know, about eight months ago, someone in my camp said that it looked bad that I was hanging out with children so much…” I explained, “and that people might start to think I was strange but I didn’t care cos people already think I’m nuts…”

Rosa said nothing, she sat and watched me pace, looking a little upset herself. Actually, her expression was probably more one of concern than upset. Why should she be upset, I thought, no one was smearing her name across the globe.

“I should have listened…”

“Why should you have to be something you’re not, just to appease everyone else?” Rosa asked me. Yep, that’s pretty much what I had told the advisor who had stuck his nose in less than a year back.

“Well if I’d listened maybe I wouldn’t be in this place.” 

“Do you have someone you can call, Michael? A friend, family members? What about your Mom?” she asked, ignoring my reply.

“I’ll speak with my mother in the morning, I don’t want to wake her up and worry her, she doesn’t need this.”

The trembling that I felt in my hands began to consume my whole body and I knew it wasn’t going to be long til I really fell apart at the seams. I didn’t want anybody to be there for it. I looked at the gorgeous make up artist in front of me. She had been working with me for awhile, we talked some days, we joked, and I told her about my music – but we weren’t friends and we didn’t know each other like this.

“Thanks for coming to make sure I’m okay, you should probably go, Larry said I shouldn’t talk to anyone until I’ve spoken with a lawyer.” 

She got up from her seat and gave me a weak smile. “Michael, we don’t know each other very well, but I want you to be okay. I just wanted to extend a hand for you to hold if you need it, no questions asked.” 

“Thank you, that means a lot to me,” I replied. She took a step closer and gave me a hug. I almost melted in to her body, but I was aware that the second that I did, I would let go, and despite her warm sentiment, I wasn’t ready for her to see that side of me.

I withdrew from the embrace first and together we walked to the door. She flashed me a smile and waved and that was the last time I ever saw her.

**

I lay in my cold sweat listening to the deafening chants of my fans downstairs. I felt sorry for the other people staying in the hotel, but needless to say those chants really comforted me.

I refused to get out of bed. Larry had been in and out trying to coax me up. He wanted to call a meeting immediately so we could figure out what to do with the show that night. I didn’t care. Fuck the show.

Fuck the world.

I wiped fresh tears with the backs of my hands and wished that part of my grief would end.

The phone conversation I had with my mother early in the morning consisted of me sobbing down the line and her trying to think of things to say that would be of some comfort. In the end, I could hear her crying too.

She offered to jump on a flight, but I was already mentally planning my escape route home out of this city. I wanted the tour canceled. I was done. I couldn’t imagine how it would feel to have hundreds of thousands of intrusive eyes cast upon me wondering if what the newsreaders were alleging I did, was something that I was truly capable of.

Laying in this bed beneath the covers despite how hot Mexico City was, was my only shield from the world. It was the safest place that I could think to be and I wasn’t coming out.

I didn’t even want to go home because I was scared of what would be waiting for me when I did.

What if I set foot off the plane and the police were there to arrest me? What if there were crowds of angry people? I knew how people felt about paedophiles. I knew the kind of anger it evoked in people, so what if someone was going to hurt me?

I buried my face in my pillow. I couldn’t sleep. I felt exhausted. Over night I had been up late trying to rationalize the whole situation. I carefully laid out each tiny fragment of information I had been given and relayed each different scenario and found a peaceful resolve for each of them.

It was my way of mentally preparing for the worst.

But with the dawn of a new day brought new fear and new anxiety and the realization that there was no peaceful resolve for any of the outcomes in this situation.

At the very least they would apologise for the misunderstanding, yet my name would still be tarnished and people wouldn’t want to hear that my name had been cleared.

Larry had stopped knocking. He interrupted my thoughts and barged right inside.

“Michael, get up out of bed,” he said impatiently, “we need to organize what’s going to happen. Go have a shower and brush your hair, you’ll feel better.” 

“I’m not getting up,” I replied petulantly, “The only thing that will get me out of bed is when we are leaving this place for home.” 

“We are leaving this place for home, but you need to get up. I have papers for you to sign and you need to speak to a lawyer.”

“When?” I pressed, staring blankly at the wall, “when are we leaving?” 

“Early morning. Best way to get you back to America unnoticed is to leave when you will be least missed. We’ll fly straight to San Bernadino airport and your mother and father will be waiting there for you.” 

“Okay,” I felt a tiny little bit of relief knowing that I wouldn’t be flying in to LAX. “Well, I’ll get out of bed right before we leave.”

Larry drew in a deep breath, “Michael,” he began, starting to lose his temper, “get out of bed now, or I’m going to drag you out myself.”

That was fine, I was losing my temper too.

“I’m NOT getting out of bed!” I told him exasperated.

He came to my side and tried grabbing my arm, “You’re acting like a fucking teenager, get up Jackson, you need to face the music.” 

I felt insulted but I knew he was just angry, but so was I. “What? You don’t speak to me like that!”

“This is bullshit!” he snapped, “you can’t hide away from the world, Michael, look at what’s happening! You’re being accused of molesting a fucking kid, this is no joke, get the FUCK out of bed and see the lawyer… fuck!”

 “IM NOT GETTING OUT OF BED!” I yelled, “Fuck you! Fuck the lawyer! I just want to go home!”

I knew Larry was surprised. I never swore. Well, I did, but I chose my moments wisely, “fuck me? Fine.” He calmly found his way to the door and slammed it so hard behind him that it made the room echo.

It was also the last time that I saw him too.

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