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egs carried me all the way up the long flight of stairs. I ran faster than I ever thought I could. When I reached the door, I grabbed the handle and turned…


And turned again. And again. And again.


“He locked it,” I muttered under my breath. He really must not want to get talked out of this. I looked around to see if I could find anything that I could use to bust down the door. I frowned when I came to the conclusion that there was nothing. I looked back at the door, and immediately became infuriated.


I took my fury out on the wretched thing. I hammer fisted it a few times before I started directly punching it. The door jiggled. It was obvious that the door was old; unstable. I heard more screaming from the crowd of people at the bottom.


~The lights will not guide you through


They’re deceiving you


Don’t jump~


Had he fallen? What was going on? The mystery made me more determined to figure it out, I took a step back and body checked the door. It shook, but didn’t break. I tried again, and got the same result. I examined the door from afar before I realized that I had one option left.


I took a deep breath as I brought my foot up and kicked the door as hard as I could. At the moment of impact, pieces of the door went splintering all over the place. I winced as I felt splinters dig into me heel. I shook it off and examined the hole I had made. I pried some remaining pieces of the door away until I had a hole big enough for me to fit through.


In the end, I ended up scraping myself up pretty badly, but I didn’t care. I looked around the roof and didn’t see anything. Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye I saw a bunch of lights, and decided to follow them. I rounded a corner where I came face to back with Bill. I stood there for a moment, not saying anything. I was too shocked to let words flow out of my mouth.


I remembered thinking; He’s still alive. He hasn’t jumped yet! I’m not too late!


As I stood there, I felt myself asphyxiating. Now that I was there, standing right behind him, I was at a loss for words; a loss for breath.


“B-Bill,” I managed to croak out quietly. Bill didn’t jump, he wasn’t startled. He turned around to look back at me. When he saw me, his expression didn’t even falter. It was almost as if the fact that I was there didn’t even concern him. Like I was nothing but just another human being that ruined his life…


Was I?


“Bill,” I said again, this time with more firmness in my voice, “What are you doing?” I asked, even though I (along with everyone else) knew exactly what he was doing. He looked at me and bowed his head as he looked back in front of him without saying a word to me. I frowned.


“Don’t do this, Bill. Please. It’s not worth it. Can’t you find some sort of memory that makes life worth it? Is there not anything that can persuade you?” I asked him. Still, I got no response. I let out a breath, “Maybe I could,” I began as I moved a few steps closer.


~Don’t let memories go,


Of me and you,


The world is down there out of view,


Please don’t jump~


I was right behind him now. I was within arms reach. I could have grabbed him and pulled him away from the edge, but it’s not what I wanted to do. I wanted it to be his choice. After all, I didn’t know what he was going through.


“Remember that one summer back when we were kids? It was you, your brother, and I. And all summer we slept outside in that giant fort that we made, remember that? Listening to every Beatles song imaginable!” I said with a bit of a chuckle at the memory. I paused and looked at him, waiting for some sort of reaction.


“And remember that time in high school when we sneaked a group of girls through your window and we stayed up all night trying to see who could get their faces covered in lipstick kisses first? That was a good night… And in the end we ended up getting all of their thongs? Autographed too, almost as if they were famous Playboy models or something. And we did all of this before your parents came home,” I laughed. I looked back at him again, and saw that his expression still hadn’t changed, but his eyes were different. They weren’t as hollow and dark as they had been a minute ago.


I was getting to him.


I sighed.


“Is it me, Bill? Am I the reason that you’re… well… on the edge?” I asked him. He looked down and then turned his head to me, and that was when I could get a full on view of his eyes. That moment of happiness and reminiscing that I had just seen there was completely gone now…


~You open your eyes,


But you can’t remember what for~


“I’m sorry,” was all he said to me as a tear dropped from his eyelashes, and off the side of the building. I looked at him, concerned.


“Sorry for what?” I asked, “Bill, you’ve got to tell me. I’m your best friend. I can help you. I want to help you. I don’t want to see you do this to yourself…” I told him quietly.


“For this,” he answered, “You weren’t supposed to-“ he began but couldn’t continue as the words got caught in his throat. He started sobbing for a few minutes, and I just let him. Once he gained his composure again, he wiped the tears off with the back of his hand, and then looked back at me with a sad expression. He just shook his head as he looked forward once more.


~The snow falls quietly,


You just can’t feel it no more~


“Bill,” I said again, “I don’t want to pressure you into doing something that you don’t want to do. If you want to leave, then I trust your decision. I’m sure that you’ve got reasoning behind it, and I’m sure it’s good reasoning at that! All I ask is that you tell me why. That’s all I want to know,” I told him. He sucked in a deep breath.


“Sometimes,” he began, “Life gets hard. Sometimes you just can’t take anymore. You’ve gotten that feeling before haven’t you?” he asked. He looked at me when he noticed that I didn’t answer, “Haven’t you?” he asked again. I nodded slowly.


“Well I mean, yeah. Life gets hard sometimes and I guess there are times that I feel that I can’t take anymore of it, but we all get that feeling at one point or another. It’s not a reason to jump,” I replied.


“That’s what I thought,” he commented, “But the feeling didn’t leave. It’s been stuck with me for years, Michael. I never told you because I didn’t think that it would turn into this. I thought it was just a phase. It wasn’t. I can’t stay here forever feeling the way I feel,” he explained. My mouth dropped a bit, and I didn’t say anything for a long while.


“Well… how do you feel then?” I asked. He sighed.


“Unwanted. Worthless. A malfunction. Wrong,” he began to list. He went on to list a bunch more words that I would never classify Bill as. The whole time I couldn’t believe it. I never even realized that anything was wrong with him… I thought that everything was fine.


“Why?” I asked as I shook my head, “What made you even think that?” I asked. I looked at him and saw the glimmering trail of tears down his cheek.


“Michael, how many times do you think I get made fun of because of who I am?” he asked me. I didn’t reply because I already knew the answer.


Throughout grade school, there were always people who made fun of him because of his piercings, his hair, the make-up, his clothes… His style never bothered me in the slightest, but some people just couldn’t get over it. I always thought that he ignored them though. I’m sure he did at one point, but somewhere that all changed…


“It starts to get to you after awhile… I just want a fresh start,” he told me as he shot me the most painful smile I had ever witnessed in my entire life.


~You lost yourself in your pain,


You dream of the end,


To start all over again~

Chapter End Notes:

Okay, I don't usually do this, but I'm doing it anyway. Usually if I wanna do something, I just do it, I don't typically ask for 'consent' but this time, I wanna know what I should do here...

Okay, I was thinking of a prologue to this story. Just a story of Michael and Bill as kids, memories, going through the ups and downs and all that jazz.

I was thinking of doing it after I finish this story.

OR

I could just make a bunch of 'short stories' and put them in my short stoy section, but have them kinda based off of Michael and Bill's relationship in this story. So it would be like the prologue, but less official.

OR

Should I just leave this story at this, and think up a new, completely different thing from this?

 

Anyway, I was just thinking about it because I actually have so many good memories that I'd love to share with you guys, so I could base it a bit off of stuff that's happened to me, and stuff that's been memorable in my life. That way, it's way easier for me to write about.

Like I said above, I don't typically mention stuff like that, but I've been pondering this ever since I started this story, and I really can't come to a conclusion at all and it's bothering me! lmao!

 

So yeah, feel free to help me out if you want, if not, I'll probably just draw from a hat or something. lol! I'll figure it out ;)

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