*2009* Epilogue

Everything still seemed very surreal. I still couldn’t wrap myself around the fact that I was attending my husband’s memorial service. “This cannot be happening, this cannot be happening,” I continued to repeat to myself. It seems like yesterday that we happily got married. And it seems like hours since I kissed him goodbye and told him that I would see him soon. Now that day will never happen because my husband was dead.

Words do not express how much I loved this man. Our relationship definitely had its ups and downs, but we always believed in what we had. The two of us ended up being good for one another, each in our own ways. He had given me so much in the eight years that I had known him; we had only been married for three. I became the doting step mother to his three beautiful children. We all were so close, that they felt like they were my own. We tried to have the most normal family life as possible. Lord knows how hard it was, but we did our best. Nothing mattered to me, as long as I was with him and the kids. They meant the most to me in my life.

I stared at his beautiful golden casket and nearly lost it. Instead I allowed myself to slightly whimper as a few tears rolled down my face. My deadbeat mother always told me that I have to be strong, no matter what happens in life. Or in this case, death. So for that reason alone, I had to be strong for the children, his family, my family, and the fans.

Allow me to formally introduce myself. My full name is Jaden Kimoria Ross. However, everyone in the world knows me simply as Jade. I’m 31 years old. I guess you could say that I’m your typical American woman…… except I have two things that set me a part. First of all, I am a superstar. I’m not trying to sound all cocky, but that is what I have been labeled by the media and by the fans. I’ve had it all in a span of a few years: Millions of records sold, a few Grammies under my belt, and fame. I definitely come from one of those rags-to –riches stories.

Another huge thing that sets me a part is the person who I am (or was) married to. You see, this guy never was your average Joe. He too was a superstar….but he was on a whole other planet of superstardom. He had been performing since like the age of 5, until he and his brothers struck it big through Motown by the time he was 11. Their group made history, selling records upon records all the way up until they were grown men. To make a long story short, after making a few solo records while still with the group, my husband disbanded himself for good. He came out with the biggest selling record of all time, along with subsequent record breaking albums. People flocked to see his concerts and music videos every time he had one. This guy was an amazing dancer; no one could ever get on his level of stage performance and showmanship!

Unfortunately, he also was the target of tabloids. If they weren’t writing about him sleeping in the bed with children or in hyperbaric chambers, speculating about his child-like behavior, ranting about his nose and plastic surgeries, and making fun of his skin- changing condition, they were hurting and accusing him of doing things that he would NEVER do to children. With his lifestyle, he definitely took the Bad with the Good. For those reasons, he never had the normal “Boy- Next- Door” life that he sometimes longed for.

If you haven’t guessed by now, my husband is (or was) Michael Joseph Jackson- also known as “The King of Pop”.

As I sit with the Jackson family and Paris, Prince, and Blanket are solemnly next to me, I still can’t believe that we were here to say goodbye for good. On earth at least. Pangs of guilt waved over me; I felt like I had completely failed in my wifely instincts and duties. If there had only been something that I could have done….that I could have prevented to stop Michael’s death. I could have been more aggressive. I should have seen some kind of warning sign. Scenarios of “Woulda, Shoulda, Coulda” played out in my head as everyone watched Michael’s celebrity friends give their tributes to him, one by one.

But wait. I’m getting ahead of myself. You’re probably wondering how we ended up together in the first place right? Well sit back because it was quite a journey of how I ended up being married to Michael Jackson. All the way to the bitter end.