Reviewer: Honor Bright Signed [Report This]
Date: Jul 22, 2020 09:20 am Title: Chapter 7

This story feels like a puzzle, with each chapter providing one small piece that would complete it - and I love it:) Judging by the number of chapters, there will be many pieces. I, for one, am not only curious about how Michael will get through this, but also about what the reasons are for Diane to accuse Michael of inappropirate behaviour with Casey.
I love how you portray Michael's vulnerability and fear, and also his kind heart. "Walking, talking cashcow, that's all I was to anyone" - that phrase was painful to read (and so true).

Reviewer: Honor Bright Signed [Report This]
Date: Jul 21, 2020 01:43 pm Title: Chapter 4

This story has such good quality writing! Loved chapters 3 and 4, Michael's shock and pain at finding out who is accusing him, his physical and emotional distress are very well done.

Reviewer: VickiJ Signed [Report This]
Date: Jun 09, 2020 10:32 pm Title: Chapter 76

Hopefully they'll find Larry to get all this resolved and clear Michael's name. But I also have to say that I wish Melina would just give Michael just a little bit of space to process orders all of this. Her insecurities are what is keeping Michael for sharing this newfound information with her about Larry because she'll most likely immediately think that Michael will want to go back to Diane and Casey.

Reviewer: Cibelle Signed [Report This]
Date: Apr 29, 2020 08:41 pm Title: Chapter 74

finally Diane realized that Larry is the real monster. Great chapter, I'm looking forward to the next! :)

Reviewer: Miri Fern Signed [Report This]
Date: Apr 08, 2020 05:55 am Title: Chapter 5

I remember reading this story a long time ago and thinking it was pretty good, but at the time I was busy with other things and lost track of all the fanfiction I used to read. Since I saw that you were trying to finish it, I thought I'd revisit this.

Right off the bat, this story drew me in because of the lack of errors. XD But seriously, this came as a surprise and real treat. It is extremely well-written, leaps and bounds beyond most of what's on this site. It reads almost like an officially published novel. You should be proud of it, because not only is the prose excellent, I can tell you really did your research. I'm assuming you've been a fan and studying MJ for years, because your characterization of him is incredibly believable and authentic.

My only concern in these early chapters was that you would wind up spending too much time focusing on Michael's emotional suffering and grief to the point where it would become too repetitive, but you went ahead and switched the POV to Malania before it got to be too much. I also must say that I really like Malania so far. She's not a perfect Mary Sue type heroine; she has a detailed backstory and her characterization is very clear and strong. Like your depiction of Michael, she has both admirable qualities as well as flaws which can be exploited as the plot unfolds.

I look forward to reading on, and since you have shown yourself to be very receptive to comments from readers, I will be posting further reviews every few chapters or so. Rock on! <3

Author's Response:

Hey Miri!

 

Thanks so much for your lovely detailed comment. Its really nice to hear from someone who has put a lot of thought in to their response. As a writer, that is incredibly complimentary and such a nice feeling. It takes a lot of effort to write detailed comments, I know! Thank you for saying such kind things about my writing. I am trying very hard to write books outside of my MJ fandom, so sometimes a bit of a build-me-up when self-doubt sets in is really nice! You are right, I have been a fan of MJ since the late 80s. Obviously the MJ in this story is closest to what I expect him to be with some poetic licence, of course! I'm sure he had his Peter Pan side, but I'm also sure he had his normal guy side too. I think its very important to highlight that although many of us thought of him as a hero to us, he was also just a human guy who probably did annoying stuff and had annoying habits and reactions that disappointed at times. 

When I read Malania's name sometimes I get disappointed because of Trump's Malania, but honestly, Malania is a common Eastern European name and thankfully I dont conjure her up when I think of MY Malania. Malania can be a bit annoying but I'm glad that she can be because she is a flawed person, I like that she's not perfect and she can be incredibly frustrating and childish but also insightful and doesn't take Michael's shit and doesn't always eat up his "sunflowers and rainbows" outlook on the world. That makes her human. I think sometimes fictions make the female lead in to a "shell" of a woman that has no personality or who is obsessed with sex with Michael and the reality is, is after the initial excitement dies off, a personality will keep a romantic relationship more interesting than sex. I like that my characters are complexed and flawed. Its the best part about them both :)

Thank you so much again for writing your lovely comment. I am still writing chapters but I am near the end now and am trying to unravel the plot and take my time (as I have plenty of time at the moment!!!) with the ending so it doesn't feel rushed. 

Have a great day :)

 

Reviewer: Linalinskaya Signed [Report This]
Date: Apr 03, 2020 03:01 pm Title: Prologue

Poor soul..

Reviewer: Jemma125 Signed [Report This]
Date: Mar 28, 2020 12:31 am Title: Chapter 73

I missed this story too much😭

Author's Response:

Thanks for coming back to have a red, Jemma :) 

Reviewer: cat105 Signed [Report This]
Date: Mar 14, 2020 05:31 pm Title: Chapter 44

What a rollercoaster! Omigod, that literally tore me apart. You have such if way of expressing emotions through dialogue, and I really enjoyed how you transitioned MJ from fear/sadness to complete anger/sadness. I love this so much. Like I said, you have a way with expressing emotions, and man, is it killing me!

Author's Response:

I cant remember exactly what happens in this chapter without reading, but i have a brief idea. Poor MJ. Surely theres to be some relief soon.