Travelling was the pits. I hated it. I hated waking up and feeling disorientated, sometimes forgetting where I even was – and now it was even worse because I was away from Jade. It was tolerable when there wasn’t anything keeping me back in Los Angeles, but now there was.

I was so pissed off about the plans that had been made without consulting me. I knew that Sarah had took it upon herself to book flights without my approval because she was well aware I’d fight tooth and nail to get out of going. She’d commented on how I’d been lacking lately in the business area. I felt a little bad because I knew that it was true, but so what? I’d been working so hard for so long already and if I slacked off a bit, so be it. I was at the absolute peak of my success, I had never been more famous – so I knew that it probably wasn’t going to hurt much if I missed a few meetings here or there or took a few days off.

I felt worse about leaving Jade by herself right after we had made our relationship official and right after the situation with her best friend. I sighed and looked out the window of the plane. We were on our way to London. I had a some meat-head bodyguard sitting next to me that I didn’t really know very well. I’d recently hired new security and this guard seemed to have the social skills of a lump of driftwood. It would have been nice to have some company that formed coherent sentences rather than just grunted when spoken to.

I just wanted to get to a hotel suite and sleep. It felt like I’d been traveling for days, and it really did feel like a long time since I kissed Jade goodnight, even if it was only two nights earlier. I hated it when something brilliant and exciting was happening and I’d have to put it on hold until work was finished.

I wished I had someone to talk about it with, but there was no one. I’m quite sure the gorilla in a suit beside me would find it all about as interesting as an empty beer keg. I rolled my eyes at the thought.

I put the plane headset on and began to pay attention to the in-flight movie. Jaws was playing. I gave a yawn. Nothing could have been more boring….

**

Jade answered the phone in a groggy voice and I realized that I’d probably woken her up. I felt bad, and wanted immediately to hang up and let her have some sleep.

I’d called her two nights earlier when I had arrived in London and she seemed to be enjoying her time at my house. I wasn’t sure if it sounded perverse, or if it were wrong of me, but I really wanted her to sleep in my bed, to be in my room. I wanted the smell of her hair to linger on to my pillowcase, the scent of her skin to linger in my bed sheets… And it wasn’t for any gross pleasure… I just wanted her presence known in my bedroom, not to receive any sexual gratification from it.

I encouraged her to sleep in my room as I also was well aware that my bed was so comfortable compared to anywhere else in the house. I had the luxuries in my room that the rest of the apartment didn’t really have. I wasn’t being entirely weird.

“Hi, sweetheart.” I said gently, “I’m sorry I woke you…”

There was silence for a few moments that I imagined was spent trying to gain her bearings. “Michael?”

“Yeah… it’s me… don’t worry about us talking tonight—I’ll call you later.”

“I can talk…” She replied, I could tell she was trying to wake herself up properly. I didn’t want to break her sleep, I knew that she had to work early in the morning, and the way things had been going in that department, she needed all the energy she could get.

“Seriously baby…” I said softly, “Go back to sleep and I’ll call you when I’m about to go to bed later. Get a good night’s sleep.”

She was far too tired to argue. She’d worked a double shift during the day to appease Marcus. She was a hard worker, and I admired her for that. She didn’t take time off unless she really needed it, and that was why I’d been so stunned when she’d told me what had happened with her idiot boss.

“Okay.” She agreed.

“Sweet dreams.”

“Love you…” She murmured before hanging up the phone.

I smiled. Those words were the sweetest melody to my ears. I placed the phone down and looked around the boring hotel suite.

Now what?

**

I glared across the desk at my boss, narrowing my eyes to slits. I was steaming angry. I might have seemed passive when it came to my professional life, but Marcus was about to learn that it wasn’t always the case.

“What on earth is your problem with me?” I asked him, my words like poison that had to be expelled from my lips. “You know, I might be just an employee to you, Marcus, but you and I both know I’m great at my job and maybe everyone else will let you talk to them like they’re your dogs, but I will not.”

I had far too much history with people talking down to me, making me feel inadequate or making me believe I was unworthy. I wasn’t about to let anyone ever do that to me again. He had blasted me out at the main desk in front of hotel patrons for assigning a double room to someone who had booked a single.

I wouldn’t have ordinarily done something like that, but we were booked out completely, and their reservations had been improperly printed out. We were really busy, and I knew better than to bother Marcus when he was busy. He couldn’t multitask for a packet of peanuts.

“Are you going to pay the money we’ll lose out on this room?” He snapped. “No. You’re not. My problem is that you didn’t check with me first, you’re not the Hotel manager, I am!” He pointed to his nametag that stated his title. “Until you are wearing this tag, you are under my authority!”

I could feel myself getting worked up. I wanted to cry tears of frustration. Everything had been building up over the past few days. I missed Michael, I had been helping Gaby talk to the police, and I’d been lacking sleep – it didn’t help that everyone at work was treating me strangely, including Danny.

I rolled my eyes. Wow, why don’t you grab a fucking crown, staff and royal purple fucking robe and sit on a thrown while you’re at it too, asshole! I wanted to scream, but I took a deep breath to keep my composure.

“Well tell me, Marcus, what would you have done in my situation? Did you really want me to leave a family of snotty and disgruntled jerks to come and consult you while you were in the middle of doing the books?”

He held up his hand, “Get out of my office, Jade. I don’t need your bullshit.”

I raised an eyebrow and glared at the round, balding bastard. “Marcus, again. I won’t tolerate the way you’re talking to me. And you had no right to insult me out there in front of those patrons and I demand an apology. I know you would have told me to do exactly what I did. You’re a hypocrite.”

“If you don’t like our policy here, Jade, you know exactly where the Goddamn door is.”

I folded my arms across my chest and glared at him. He stared me down. I wasn’t about to look away first, but his beady eyes bore right through mine and I felt as though I would start sobbing at any given moment. The prickles of hot tears began to jab at my eyes already. Though, not to be outdone, but to be incredibly idiotic, I snapped. “Well then you can stick your stupid job up your fucking ass.” I spat at him. “I’m out of here.”

And so I walked.

And as soon as I got to the car I began to freak out. I had rent to pay, bills to pay. This was one of the dumbest things I’d ever done. I couldn’t believe as I banged my head on the steering wheel in frustration, that I’d let Marcus get to me so badly. I didn’t know what on Earth I was going to do.

I sped off, making my way back to Michael’s apartment. I was still steaming mad, only with tears leaking unbridled from the corners of my eyes. I knew that I’d flown off the handle was because I was emotionally running on dry. I wasn’t used to this kind of thing – of having people needing me, wanting my company, running to me with their problems … I sighed.

Gaby was so dependant on me, she was telling me things and sharing things with me that quite frankly, I didn’t really know what to do with. Some of those things made me think less of her, but all in all, she needed me and I hadn’t been there for her before, and I wasn’t about to ever let that happen again.

She needed a lot of attention and affection from me. I didn’t mind at all, I wanted to be there for her, but I felt like she was ciphering me dry of energy. Michael too, and not even in a negative way. I just wasn’t used to being so overwhelmed by people depending on me. I had mixed feelings about it. It was a very nice change, but everything seemed to be happening so fast – and … I sighed again.

Who was I kidding? I had no fuckin’ clue how I felt. It was useless even trying to pinpoint it. Now though, it was about to paramount in to a nightmare since I’d just walked off the job. I didn’t really want to think about it. I just wanted to go back to Michael’s and sleep. Sleeping was my escapism, and all I wanted right then and there was to escape.

I hated myself for being so dramatic ‘cause I knew it could have been so much worse. Gaby may not have been okay. What if I didn’t have Michael? …I’d still be stuck working that job like it was the most important thing in my life. It’d just been proven to me, that I now clearly didn’t file it away as being quite as important as it was before.

Lord, just get me back to Michael’s house… His bed was amazing, I’d been sleeping like a baby every night since I’d arrived. I wondered how he would feel about doing an apartment trade. Ah yes, these things, the silly things, they were what I needed to concentrate more on…

**

Part of me felt guilty for eating food from his refrigerator; so I had done some grocery shopping of my own. I sat in the living room with a pint of chocolate ice cream, devouring it. I couldn’t go wrong with comfort food, and I wasn’t one to give too much of a shit about my weight – not like I’d be able to afford to eat for the next month coming anyway.

Oh god, why was I such a stubborn asshole? I wondered.

I had talked to Michael just two times since he was in London and I had no idea what he was up to, but I missed hearing his voice. I missed seeing his smile and man…I really wanted him to meet Mom. She’d been grilling me about my new boyfriend. Dad actually surprised me and didn’t tell her who he was. I guessed maybe I’d have to give her a fore warning, I didn’t want to startle her. Dad and I had spoken a little bit about it, and he was really happy for me. Just as I had expected, he really liked Michael.

Good.

I sure hoped Michael’s Mom liked me. As I said that, I gazed up to see a photo of Michael and his Mom on a small little table in the hallway as I took an empty bowl to the sink. Katherine looked really sweet and approachable. Michael was hugging her tight and they both had big smiles. I noticed something that made me raise an eyebrow. It was another frame that was face down. I thought for a moment that it might have fallen. I sat it back up to see that it was a photograph of his father and himself as a child. His face was strained in to a smile and I knew immediately it wasn’t genuine. Michael’s eyes told every emotion, even when he was a child. There was an unmistakable hint of fear there.

I really wondered kind of a monster could have made his very own child so ridiculously scared.

The photo made me feel sad, so I put it back face down as it was – I knew that Michael had done that on purpose.

**

I was out of there. London was ass boring, but I’d managed to make it through all the boring meetings without passing out. I managed to gain 2 pounds just from eating nothing but junk food and I went shopping at Harrods. It would have been more fun to take Jade with me, but oh well. There was always next time.

I was so excited to arrive back at LAX a day earlier than planned. I knew I would get home well after midnight, but it didn’t matter if Jade wasn’t awake, I’d just sleep in the guestroom and wake up early to talk to see her before she went off to work.

My house seemed so far away and the drive seemed like it was taking forever. Surprisingly, I was a lot more tired than I expected to be. I felt fatigued from the long flight that just seemed to go on forever.

I was dropped off at my apartment complex. I wheeled my luggage up to my apartment and let myself in quietly. I hoped that I wouldn’t scare Jade. My heart was pounding hard against my chest for that off chance she would still be awake. It was just after 2am. My eyes were heavy and so were my footsteps, but I wanted to just see her, if only to whisper in to her ear that I was home.

I felt a smile come to my lips as I climbed the stairs toward my bedroom anxiously. Things were so tidy, but her presence was noticeable. I could hear the TV going in my room and I quickened my pace, trying to stay quiet. I opened the door and poked my head in. I didn’t want to scare her if she was awake. She wasn’t. The TV was on and she was lying on her side, sleeping, facing the doorway.

I stepped in and put my bag down. I gazed at her for a few moments before making my way around to the opposite side of the bed. She slept in a loosely fit white tank top. The duvet was pulled up chest high and she slept with both of her hands prayer-like beneath her cheek. She looked beautiful, her lips forming a sweet little pout. I sat behind her on the edge of the bed and grazed the exterior of my hand along the warm skin of her upper arm.

“Jade…” I crooned, “I’m home…” I added. I hoped not to startle her, that she’d wake up with a jolt. I tried to sound as comforting as I could. She stirred a little at first until I called her name again. She opened her eyes and stared at me for a moment and looked around, frowning. I had to smile. I knew she had no idea what was going on.

“Michael…” She blinked hard, trying to adjust her eyesight.

“I’m home early.” I told her softly. She went to sit up, trying to gain her bearings again. “Don’t get up…I just wanted to let you know that I’m home…” I kissed her forehead and felt a great sense of pleasure having her in the same room as me.

“I want to…” She murmured. I could see a smile breaking out across her face. I couldn’t help but smile either. She sat up and surveyed me. I felt a bit self-conscious. I hadn’t even fixed my hair or put on any matching clothes, I thought as I looked down to the hideous multi-colored knit sweater that I was wearing.

I knew she was probably feeling self-conscious as well. She smoothed down her hair, but honestly – she just looked so beautiful the way she was. My heart must have been in my throat. I loved that she was sleeping in my bed, looking so beautiful – it was the greatest thing to have come home to.

I remembered all the time I’d been together with Brooke, and how little trust I’d had. I would have never in a million years invited her to come and stay in my house while I wasn’t there and use all of my private things – but with Jade, I didn’t even question it. I trusted her whole-heartedly.

“If I had of known you were coming home tonight, I wouldn’t have slept in here…” She sounded apologetic and looked a little embarrassed, but I just shook my head with a smile. “Don’t worry about it.”

I reached over and pulled the cord of the lamp on the side of my bed. She looked even more beautiful under the full light. There was a moment of awkwardness between us where we surveyed each other, as if trying to take in what we missed. I felt so much contentment. I didn’t want to hesitate any longer. I slid my arms around her and pulled her body in toward me. She was so warm. “I missed you…” I heard her murmur in a small voice. It felt so good to have her in my arms.

“I missed you most.” I replied, making no effort to pull away. I heard her chuckle but she also didn’t let go. I caressed her back with my hand and delighted by the physical intimacy that we seemed to share so early on. “How have you been?” I wondered out loud.

“So, so…” she answered. There was a beautiful honesty within her response that I respected. I hated it when girls tried to pretend that everything was fine when it wasn’t. “How about you?” She wanted to know, loosening her embrace around me so that we could see each other’s face.

“I’m fine, just glad to be home.” I smiled warmly. “Especially since you’re here.”

She smiled back at me, I could tell she was glad I was there too. I leaned in and gave her a soft and lingering kiss and pulled her in again to embrace her body. “Tell me more about how you are…” I suggested.

“Thanks Mike, but…we don’t need to be talking about it right now.” She shrugged it off. “Are you hungry or something? I made some quiche earlier and there’s plenty left over…”

I shook my head. No, I wasn’t hungry…I wanted to disrobe and lay down beside her, cuddle her close and go to sleep. “I’m tired.” I confessed.

“I’ll sleep in the guestroom.” She quickly went to get up, not wanting to put me out. I just laughed at her sudden burst of energy.

“Don’t be silly, Jade… I need to wind down for awhile anyway, I won’t be able to go straight to sleep for a bit…” I got up off the bed and went to take my shoes and socks off. “I’m gonna go get changed. I’ll be back.” 

When I returned Jade had pulled back the duvet on the other side of my bed. She was lying back down beneath the covers. She looked warm. “I’m sorry that I woke you up, sweetheart, I just wanted to let you know that I was home.” I apologized.

“I’m happy that you woke me up…why don’t you just sleep here tonight… beside me…” She suggested. I was surprised by her suggestion, but I didn’t want to show it. I knew that her offer was a strictly wholesome one, but I wouldn’t have wanted anything different myself.

“Are you sure?” I asked, “I don’t mind sleeping down the hall.” I replied, seeming as if I was indifferent about the whole thing. Boy, did I just wanna dive right under that duvet right then and there.

“Of course I’m sure… and anyway, this is your bed.” She reminded me, “If anyone should sleep down the hall it should be me.”

I didn’t answer her, but rather slid under the covers. She kissed me briefly on the lips and I did my best to keep myself physically calm. I made myself comfortable flat on my back, as I generally lay to stare at the ceiling. “Can we turn the light out?” She asked.

“Sure…” I smiled. She turned it off and rolled back on to her side, facing me. She draped her arm over my tummy and scooted in closer, resting her head on my shoulder. Man, I loved her. I really did. She was so sweet. I watched her close her eyes with a smile still gracing her pink lips.

“You look beautiful…” I murmured, running my forefingers along her cheek. Her smile turned in to a modest grin. I gave a laugh. We were both just so happy to be reunited again. “I just can’t get over the way you make me feel…” I confessed.

She opened her eyes and glanced at me. “My cheeks are burning, stop flattering me, Michael…” She giggled, covering her face with her hand. Her modesty charmed me even more. I knew despite her embarrassment, she loved it all really.

“I’ll compliment you as much as I damn well want.” I replied, nudging her gently with my shoulder. “Got it?”

She just laughed. She was just so friggin cute. I kissed her temple and smiled. “Do you want to know what ailment I suffered from this week?” I wondered.

“Oh no, what happened?” She asked, wiping the smile from her face, becoming concerned.

“I suffered the worst case of boredom ever.” I over exaggerated. “Can you believe they sent me to London for three meetings that I spoke maybe three words at? Talk about a waste of time and money.”

She thought for a second without responding…“Sounds…. Thrilling.” We both cracked up at her shitty joke. “Pun intended.” She added with a little giggle.

“What great things happened to you this week?” I asked. “I’m sure your life had to have been more interesting than mine.”

“I don’t have a job!” She said with a smile. A fake one. I knew immediately that it was just a mask for her true upset feelings. She had struggled so much with her job for the past week or so after everything that had happened, and she was trying so hard to keep her boss happy.

“What happened?” I wanted to know. “You quit?”

She relayed to me the story of what had happened with Marcus and how she’d let him have it by walking out. I was slightly impressed by her ability to stand up for herself, but I knew she couldn’t have been happy about it all.

“I’m really sorry he was such a dick… can you maybe file a complaint against him?” I wondered, my mind racing with ideas. I’m glad she’d given up pretending she was okay about it, like she had when she first brought the subject up. I could tell that she was upset.

She shrugged and shook her head, “Technically, I guess, I was in the wrong. It’s just infuriating because when he’s busy he always tells us to do whatever we think is right—especially me…” She vented, “And… I don’t ever want anyone to make me feel stupid like that, especially not in front of people who are already looking down their noses at me.” She frowned, “I have too much history with that and it’s not something I want to revisit.”

She didn’t need for me to go in to detail for me to understand. I caressed her upper arms. “You don’t deserve to be treated like that, honey.” I tried to think up a solution to her newfound unemployment, one that would allow her to have her job reinstated but I came up with nothing.

“You know, I only told him to stuff it because he was making me feel so…” She tried to articulate her feelings.

“Belittled?” I supplied.

She nodded, “Yeah… and inadequate, and I desperately wanted to have the upper hand so I just quit…” She raked her hands through her hair, “I don’t know… maybe it’s just time to move on… Things have been changing for the better lately, maybe this is something else that needs to change too.”

I gave a nod, “Maybe… sometimes things happen for a reason, maybe you’ll find a better job.” I tried to sound encouraging.

“I hope so… I wouldn’t have the faintest idea where to start looking though…” Her voice trailed off.

“Well don’t worry too much about it, if you need help with money or anything at all, you have me. I’m not going to let you starve.” I promised her. “I like you the weight you are…”

Jade sort of smiled. “I’d never take your money, Michael.”

“If you don’t find a job and your rent is due and you have no food in your cupboards, I don’t really see that you have a choice.” I told her matter-of-factly. “It’s not like you’d be bleeding me dry, babe.”

She laughed. “I don’t really have anything to worry about just yet. I’ll just take a few days to rest and begin to search for a job.”

“Good idea.” I replied, finding her hand resting on my stomach. I covered it with my own and laced my fingers with hers. “Did you ever think about finishing your degree at college?”

She shrugged. I remember each time I had pressed this issue with her when we began to be friends, her mood changed. I knew it was just from regret or even upset with what had happened that forced her to end her studies. “Sometimes… but it’s kind of like… when you eat something and then you get sick, and you never want to touch it again…” She explained. “Even if it wasn’t from that particular meal, you’re turned off forever.”

I kinda knew what she was getting at.

“And when I think of studying, especially those last few months—I just think of how bad everything had progressively gotten worse and how much I hated my life – again it’s something I’m not entirely sure I could revisit.”

I nodded. I understood but I thought it was such a shame. “But… don’t you think that it might be worth it. I can’t assume to know how badly that time was in your life, but you’re not in the time or space anymore. You’re really centered and you seem so much happier, even from the first few times we met… You could even just study at home, especially if you only have a few months left…”

I didn’t want to push it though, it was actually none of my business, but I definitely thought it was something that she should look in to. These days, college degrees meant everything. It was so hard to find a job without one.

“It’s just one of those things that I’m sure seems easier said than done. I’ve created a block road in front of the idea of college now…I feel like I’m too old.”

I laughed, “You’re twenty three, it’s not like you’re old. If you think about it in the grand scheme of things, you’re still a spring chicken, especially when you’re right at the end of your degree.” I paused, “I’m not pushing it though, at all. I just thought maybe it was something you could look at.”

“I know.” She smiled. She shifted closer to me and rested her head in the crook of my arm. I pulled her in closer to me. “I’ll figure something out.” She added. “Thank you.”

She tilted her head up to look into my eyes. I smiled back and kissed her gently.

“I’m gonna try to get some sleep now, baby…” She resigned herself of the conversation. I knew that it wasn’t anything I said, but the whole conversation was starting to make her think about things she didn’t necessarily want to. “Goodnight Michael…” She bid me softly.

“Goodnight beautiful.” I replied. “Sweet dreams…” I pulled the covers up to her shoulders, not wanting the cold night air to chill her. I embraced her warmly and closed my eyes. I knew that I would have no problems whatsoever getting to sleep.