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Chapter 18

 

I was about to wait for them to arrange something, my ass, I thought as I neared the ward where we had found Gabrielle in just the night before. I didn’t care if her mother was there, I knew that if Gaby were in the condition to talk or to have visitors she’d tell her Mom that I was welcome.

 

When I approached her private room I noticed that the door was open and the curtains were pulled from around her bed. My hands were shaking slightly but mostly I felt a little bit of excitement knowing that she was out of danger. I caught a glimpse of her. Her eyes were open and she was alone in the room. She stared at the ceiling, unmoved, without expression. I took a soft step in to the room and knocked at the door.

 

Gaby turned to see who was there. She glanced at me for a few minutes, I could tell that she was trying to adjust her vision. I wasn’t sure how she was, I wasn’t sure if she was able to function properly yet. I made a beeline to her bedside. I saw a faint smile grace her thin and pale lips. I knew she was happy to see me.

 

“Gaby, I’m so glad that you’re okay.” I whispered, feeling tears of relief welling in my eyes. She was so pale and so gaunt, her skin was pasty and her eyes seemed so lifeless, sunken in to her sockets. I just couldn’t get over the amount of weight she’d lost. “How do you feel?” My voice was quiet, I didn’t want to speak too loudly.

 

“I’m okay.” She replied in a hoarse voice. She cleared her throat and looked into my eyes. “I’m sorry.” She murmured. Tears were moistening her own eyes and I knew that she was aware of what happened.

 

I shook my head and patted her hand gently. She had an IV hooked in to her wrist still. “Don’t be silly, Gab, I’m just glad you’re okay.” I pulled a chair close to her and took a seat. I wiped my teary eyes.

 

There was some silence between us. I didn’t really know what to say, and I didn’t want to push things with her too early. “How are you feeling?” I wanted to know.

 

She stared for a minute and finally shrugged, “My stomach hurts so much, but the doctor said it’s normal…”

 

I nodded, taking it in. My eyes fell over her thin frame lying in the bed, tucked under the thin hospital sheets. I felt more sorry than I’ve ever felt for her before. I realized that she was obviously lost, searching for acceptance, for something that had driven her to this kind of life style. Maybe the envy I always had of my friends who seemed to have their lives together was a farce. Maybe no one really knew what they were doing and it was all about who could put up the best front.

 

“Gaby—“ I began, holding back what felt like to be a flood of tears. “Gaby, you died.” I told her. I knew she was probably aware, but I wanted her to know how serious of a situation it was. “What on Earth happened?” I had to know, I couldn’t sit back and let the seriousness of it all just pass us by.

 

She stared back up at the ceiling, not wanting to look at me. I knew exactly why. Tears streamed from her eyes down the sides of her face, but she made no attempt to wipe them. I knew right away. “I found you on the floor in the living room, Gab.” I persisted, “Do you remember?”

 

She nodded. “You got there after he left.”

 

I wondered who she was talking about. When I’d received a call, it was from a guy. I assumed she was having a party since there was loud music, but when I gave it a lot of thought, I didn’t hear the voices of anyone else.

 

“Who were you with?”

 

“Kyle.” She replied in monotone. I had no idea who Kyle was, but I could only imagine from which low-budget hobo establishment he came from. All of Gaby’s friends were all the same. They were the dredges of society that liked to integrate and talk about how everyone in life was out to get them. I never understood it since Gaby was so above all of them, and her attitude never shadowed their sentiments.

 

“Just him? Did he hurt you, Gab?” I became pushy for an answer. Maybe I shouldn’t have, I knew when people asked me questions about Aaron, I immediately seized up and decided not to speak. “You can tell me.”

 

“It was my fault.” She murmured, reaching up a weak hand to wipe her eyes.

 

“No. It wasn’t.” I contradicted her. I wanted to tell her about Aaron, about how he had made me feel like his abuse was my fault.

 

“We were just hanging out… he was acting strangely and we wanted to have a taste.” I didn’t even realize people still used that disgusting expression. From my very sheltered experience, the only time I’d heard of someone getting a taste was in regards to heroine, which made sense. I couldn’t help but show how shocked I was that Gaby had made the conscious decision to shoot up. “We fooled around a little…I wanted him to leave, I was too out of it… and then…”

 

She closed her eyes and shook her head. She couldn’t tell me any more. I took her hand. “Gaby, remember Aaron?”

 

She turned her head to me and nodded. “I never told you half of what went on between Aaron and I. I never told anyone.” Except Michael, I thought to myself. “He scarred me, Gabs, physically. He physically abused me and tried to rape me, and that horrible car wreck?”

 

She looked at me with soft eyes, they were flooded with tears, she seemed almost shocked by my brief explanation.

 

“That car wreck was because I was trying to get away from him…” I admitted. I felt her squeezing my hand, “And I always thought it was my fault, sometimes I still do. But I never invited him to do that to me, just like you didn’t invite Kyle to do what he did to you.”

 

“He kept fixing me drinks… and then I just remember being paralyzed, I don’t know if he drugged me, or if it was just me because of the drugs I was already on. I couldn’t move but I could feel him, I could feel everything but I couldn’t move a single muscle.” Gaby began to sob. I held her as close as I could give the machines that she was still attached to were in the way.

 

“I was so drunk too.”

 

“He drugged you, Gabs.” I informed her, kissing her softly on the head. “The police pretty much told me this morning. It must have just been too much with the heroine and alcohol too.” I wanted to ask what made her do it, but I knew it would be pointless at that moment.

 

We talked for a little while longer. I knew her body was exhausted and I didn’t want to get in to anything too deep with her for now. But at least I knew what happened. I wasn’t about to call the police or anything though, I wanted to talk to her more intensely about it when she felt up to it.

 

“Would you like me to come back and see you tomorrow?” I asked her when I could sense her starting to grow groggy. The nurses were back and forth every ten or fifteen minutes taking her vitals. I knew she had to be getting tired of it.

 

“Only if you want to.” She replied. I also knew she felt terribly guilty, but I didn’t want her to feel that way.

 

“Of course I want to, silly.” I smiled. I kissed her forehead softly. “Do me a favor, tell your Mom I had nothing to do with what happened, I just found you, okay?” I said casually.

 

“Oh.” She paused. “We already talked about it.” She seemed apologetic in her response, so I didn’t say anything else.

 

“I’ll come in before work tomorrow, okay?”

 

She nodded. “See you…” She watched after me as I walked out of her room.

 

It was after 4pm, I’d spent two hours with her. I wanted to call Michael but I knew he wouldn’t be home. Instead I just headed home so that I could go and have a nap. I had had a very restless sleep the previous nights thinking about Gabrielle, but now I was able to relax.

 

I felt a bit selfish, but at least my mind was free and I could concentrate better on Michael who I was going to be seeing in a few short hours.

 

**

 

I hung up the phone with a smile on my face, despite the fact that I’d awoken my sweetheart from her afternoon nap.

 

Sweetheart.

 

It had such a soft and tender sound to it. It was such an antique pet name, but I adored the term of endearment because it suited her to a tee. It struck me as almost a bit comical that she had tried to pretend that her heart was anything but fond of me.

 

It was fantastic to hear that Gaby was okay. I’d been so worried about both Jade and her. What had happened with her best friend had clearly traumatized her to the degree that I wasn’t sure I could completely fix. I knew that I had to be there for her regardless of what happened, and of course I wanted to be that person she trusted, but it was so good to know that she was okay, both of them.

 

I could almost hear her beaming on her end of the phone line. The conversation had been brief, she had told me that her friend was resting up. I had something planned for our date later that evening. I wanted to shower her with lots of spontaneous and romantic things. And I also liked that we still weren’t entirely comfortable with each other. We still had moments of awkwardness between us, and we had goofy teen-like moments where we waited for the one another to make the first move. Those things to me were just a gentle reminder that we still had a lot to learn about each other, so I shouldn’t be so speedy to want the physical side of the relationship as much.

 

I loved Jade for who she was, her personality, her friendship, her ability to trust me and let me place my trust in to her. I loved her because she was funny and blunt and could take a joke as well as she could dish it out. I loved it when she bared her soul to me on all numerous occasions because I knew that she was real. She didn’t get stupidly emotional over miniscule things like other girls did, It annoyed me to take time to console someone for something that wasn’t even that big of a deal. I knew it was selfish, but I kinda hated it actually. It made me want to say, “You think you’ve got problems? I can’t even go out and take a piss without someone following me to the bathroom.”

 

But when Jade got upset, I knew it was serious, otherwise she kept it to herself. I wanted to learn to love every single attribute about her before we made any other steps toward a physical relationship.

 

Anyway, I was expecting her in a little over an hour which gave me appropriate time to prepare plans for our night.

 

**

 

“Hi.” She spoke softly and smiled sweetly when I opened my front door. I was really happy to see her, despite the fact that I’d seen her just hours before. She definitely seemed more relaxed and I knew I had her full undivided attention now that such a massive weight was lifted from her shoulders.

 

“Hi princess.” I replied, opening my arms to her. She molded her frame against my body perfectly as if nothing else were meant to be. Wafts of her rich fragrance flirted with my senses. I embraced her tightly. I felt sometimes that an embrace could say more than words just by how tight or how intense it was. In fact, sometimes I even felt like it was as if hugging Jade was as though she were unloading some of the weight of her problems on to me, so that we could carry each other’s burdens together.

 

I pulled away and kissed her gently on the cheek.

 

She stepped inside and I closed the door behind her. She was wearing a denim jacket and was about to take it off, but I stopped her. “We’re not saying in tonight. I have plans for us.” I told her, “I just have to get my stuff together, give me a second.”

 

“Ooh plans.” She remarked, “What are they?”

 

“It’s a surprise!” I replied loudly as I walked down the hallway to grab a sweater and my car keys and wallet. I checked myself out in the mirror. Not bad, Jackson. I thought modestly as I fussed with my gelled hair. I was wearing a plain black v-neck sweater and my trademark black slacks. I looked okay.

 

Jade looked wonderful as usual, I thought to myself as I met back with her at the foyer. She was wearing a 3 quarter length black skirt with a plain white t-shirt and her hair was out, over her shoulders. I don’t think I’d ever seen her pull it back. I slipped my hand into hers and flashed her a smile. “Are you happy?”

 

She nodded and returned the smile.

 

“Good then. Off we go.”

 

In the car Jade probed me for a hint as to where we were going but I just shook my head. “If I give you a hint and you guess it-which you won’t, but if you did then it wouldn’t be a surprise, would it?”

 

She crossed her arms and tried to feign annoyance, but I could see straight through that shit. “I hate surprises.” She mumbled.

 

“You lie.” I poked her gently in the arm. “You’ll love this one, now stop your complaining.” I made an exit from the highway and started our drive down a dark and windy road. I knew exactly where I was going, but I knew the chances of Jade knowing the place was quite slim to none.

 

We arrived approximately forty minutes later. There were a lot more lights and Jade was looking around curiously trying to gather her bearings. “Where on Earth are we?”

 

I had taken her to a lookout point. It wasn’t a make-out spot or anything, but a nice picnic area and a place that I quite frankly felt would be as close to paradise as I could find in California. The mountains stood tall in front of us and had great lighting shone upon them. I smiled to myself, it was so peaceful and far enough from the hustle bustle and smog of the city.

 

“This is Enwood Cove.” I told her as we got out of the car and shut the doors. “It’s my favorite place to come when I need to de-stress.” I moved around the front of my car to the trunk. I stopped what I was doing for a moment to check her reaction. She had a grin upon her face as she surveyed the landscape and greenery that stretched for quite some time before the edge of the cliff. There, of course, were safety rails. It was a park, thick with trees, lush, short grass and lamp posts illuminating most of the area.

 

I opened the trunk up and pulled out the picnic basket and blanket. Her mouth fell open when she saw how prepared I was. “We’re gonna have a picnic beneath the stars.” I informed her. “And don’t worry, I didn’t dare attempt to bake anything, I’m prepared true Jade and Michael style.” I grinned at her.

 

She seemed flattered just by the whole idea and it truly warmed my heart that this girl had absolutely no expectations of me, which made it quite easy for me to surprise her. I knew she was really unsure of what to say, so I didn’t really expect her to say anything. Instead, she came toward me and slipped her hand in to the one that I had free and stood on her tip-toes to kiss me on the cheek.

 

I appreciated that gesture so much.

 

“Aren’t you worried about someone seeing you?” She asked me showing a little bit of concern as she wiped a slight mark of lip-gloss from my cheek. I gave a little chuckle and looked at her with clear eyes.

 

“Why? Do I look worried?”

 

“No.” She replied with an amused look. “I just don’t want you to go to any trouble or put yourself in positions that you shouldn’t.”

 

I adored that she was considering my welfare. It made me yearn to put myself on the line for her more than I already was. “We’ll be fine. I know just the place for us to go sit where we won’t be disturbed.” I told her, brushing off her worry.

 

We walked together hand-in-hand down along the grass, following a path that took us closer to the cliff edge, until we found a bit of a clearing. I knew that the chances of anyone coming so far down so late in the evening was pretty slim to none, and even if they did, they certainly wouldn’t be looking for Michael Jackson.

 

“Is here okay?” I asked her. We had a great view of the chasm that separated both sides of the cliff. The mountains that peaked on the other side were really beautiful.

 

Jade gave a nod of approval. “It’s beautiful Michael…” She said, taking a moment to look around. I let go of her hand and smiled, I was pleased that she seemed to appreciate the scenery. “It really is.”

 

I set down the picnic basket and opened it to get take out the pink blanket I’d brought from home. Jade pulled her eyes away from the gorge and helped me spread it out. I sat down first and she joined me seconds after. “Thank you for all of this… you’re so lovely and thoughtful.”

 

I couldn’t seem to wipe the smile from my mouth. “It’s my pleasure.” I replied, shrugging it off.

 

I scooted over to her so that I was sitting beside her. Her hand found its way in to mine and our fingers entwined. “Do you want to tell me about your day?” I asked, really wanting to know how everything had went with Gabrielle at the hospital.

 

She proceeded to explain the day’s events and I watched her speak. I let my eyes linger over her as she relayed the conversation that she had had, piece by piece. I couldn’t believe how lucky I was to have met someone that just made me feel so damn good. I absently stroked her hand with my thumb, listening intently to her story.

 

“I really think that the policeman’s theory about her being drugged was right. Nothing adds up, she was making a lot of excuses for him and blaming her own behavior, but she basically admitted he raped her, she just didn’t put it explicitly.”

 

I shook my head in disbelief. I felt very sorry when defenseless girls landed themselves bastardly men, that usually in most cases, saw them coming a mile away. I watched a couple of my brother’s prey upon girls who had self-esteem too low to find anyone else better. “I hope she’ll admit to the police, he deserves everything that’s coming to him.”

 

“I know… I promised to go see her tomorrow, I guess I’ll go in before work. But I got home and just had a nice long sleep.”

 

“Until I woke you up!” I chuckled.

 

“Yeah, but that’s okay. I slept right through my alarm and so if you didn’t call, I would have been hours late.” She confessed. I could feel her leaning in against me and I didn’t mind at all. “How about you, how was your day?”

 

“Not too bad, despite the fact that some random dude walked in on me when I was peeing this morning, but it only got better.” I joked with a light-hearted laugh.

 

Jade giggled. “Seriously, what did you end up getting up to?”

 

“I was supposed to do some work, and I’d planned that I was going to get a lot of things done, but actually, I’d ended up sitting around Sarah’s office chatting to her about her children and time really got by us.” I explained, I realized then that she had no idea who the hell Sarah was. “Sarah is my manager.” I added.

“Oooh!” She nodded, understanding.

 

“Yeah. Her eldest daughter is 10 and she’s been diagnosed with epilepsy and she was having mild seizures but now they’re getting really bad. So we were talking about all the options she and her husband are considering. I think she just needed a talk.” I shrugged.

 

“That was really sweet of you to care enough to hear her out.”

 

“Oh.” I smiled, “Her girls are beautiful. I know them quite well, I sometimes do this thing…” I gave a nervous laugh, hoping that Jade wouldn’t think I was weird. I knew my interest in children was sometimes taken the wrong way, but I hoped Jade wouldn’t think that. She gazed at me with her undivided attention, as if hanging on to everything that was coming from my mouth. “I um… I sometimes have play day at my house…and I invite over all my nephews and nieces, and the kids of friends and other family and it’s like a big party for no reason… the kids love it. They go nuts.”

 

“That’s such a neat idea!” She exclaimed, “And so very brave of you as well.” She laughed, “I could only imagine the mess.”

 

“The mess is nothing. I just love it to see them happy, and it’s so much fun… I actually ended up having to get the living room of my parents place re-carpeted after the last time.” I started to laugh at the look on my father’s face when he stepped in to the house after getting home from Vegas. The room may as well have been upside down.

 

Jade’s mouth was open with shock and amusement, “You’re kidding, Michael, that sounds like an expensive day.”

 

I shook my head and shrugged, “You think I’m nuts right?”

 

“No.” She chuckled, releasing her hand from mine. I felt her thin arm slide around my waist. I reciprocated her gesture and pulled her body closer toward mine. “Well… yeah, that sounds a bit nuts, but lots of fun—what kinds of things do you guys do?” She wondered. I laughed at her honesty. I knew she didn’t mean it in at all in a nasty way.

 

“I probably couldn’t do it at my apartment now, because there’s no outside, and…” I paused, trying to stifle a spiteful little smile, “I value my own worldly possessions more than I value my Dads’.” I cleared my throat and heard Jade laugh again, mostly out of disbelief. Oh yeah, that’s right baby, Michael Jackson had a wild side, ruining his father’s shit. I really did kind of enjoy it and gained satisfaction when something of his was broken or ruined, such as his favorite armchair that I encouraged my six year-old niece to jump on. I was such a rebel. “But generally, we just play party games… I might hire a magician, or learn some magic and conduct the show myself. I had a bouncing castle last time, it was brilliant—oh and a cake fight. A party isn’t complete without one of those.”

 

Jade looked at me as if I had two heads. I felt my face going bright red. “Oh man, I’ve just ruined everything you ever thought of me, now haven’t I?” She was chewing on her lip to keep from laughing, I could tell. Her eyes were brightly lit up, and I knew that she wasn’t having any judgmental thoughts about me. “I confess, I’m not very cool.”

 

“You never cease to amaze me, Michael.” She replied, “I think you’re hysterical. I don’t know anyone who would go to such trouble to please an army of kids. I think it’s so sweet and lovely and boy, your parents must be so glad you moved out.”

 

I laughed and thanked her for her compliment. “I was happy to move out.” I added, “Do you want to know what I plan to do hopefully within the next five or so years?” I asked.

 

She looked at me lovingly, and I knew that even if she did think I was a little bit nuts, it wouldn’t turn her off. She gave me a nod, a faint smile adorning her lips as she waited for my answer.

 

“Okay, but promise you won’t laugh, cause I’ve only ever told one other person and they thought it was a dumb idea that would never work.” I felt a little bit nervous about it sharing it.

 

I remembered how I had relayed the idea to Brooke and she had raised one of her bushy eyebrows at me and wrinkled her nose. “That’s stupid, Michael, and people will just think even more weird of you.” She told me bluntly. I remember feeling quite hurt about the way I’d been cut down, but I just shrugged it off, telling her she was probably right while knowing inside, I was still going to make it happen eventually.

 

Jade caressed my cheek with the back of her fingers, absently. “I won’t laugh at you…” She replied sincerely, looking in to my eyes, expectantly.

 

“I want to have my own kind of theme park. I want to build it somewhere in Southern California in the mountains and I’ll live there… I guess. I’d build my own house exactly as I want it on the property and I’ll have so much space to put in the coolest rides, a cinema, you know—those 3D like ones?”

She nodded with a grin.

 

“Yeah I’ll get one of those… and games and stuff, I have it all in my head exactly how it’d be, and a lake, I’d never have to leave. It’d be my own little world and I could have my own studio there—guest houses, and high security so no one would ever bother me if I didn’t want them to.” I explained passionately. This plan had been swirling around in my head for the past few years, and now I was making the kind of money that could see it happening. “and it’s not just for my own selfish reasons.” I thought it was important to add.

 

“What I want to do is…make it so I can have all types of children come to spend their day there. It would be entirely free. I’d have terminally ill children come to play, underprivileged children, families who maybe couldn’t afford to spend a lot of money on going on a trip to say… I don’t know… Disneyland…”

 

Jade was grinning so hard, teeth and all. I knew she didn’t think my idea was stupid. “I just want to have a chance to share everything that I have with everyone who doesn’t have it…you know?”

 

She didn’t say anything at first, but she showed me what she thought by her actions. She pressed her lips against mine softly. I reciprocated, kissing her back, with one arm encircled around her. I loved the brand new feeling I got whenever I felt her mouth against mine. I felt both of her hands clutch my upper arms to steady herself. I closed my eyes and savored the moment between us. There was no tongue, no haste and no sloppiness, just sweet and tender, innocent kisses that didn’t need to lead anywhere else.

 

She pulled away first and glanced at me a little shyly. I smoothed her hair and couldn’t help but smirk a little bit, “Does that mean you don’t think my idea is too silly?”

 

Jade laughed and pushed my shoulder, “Of course I don’t think the idea is silly! I love it. Could I move in next door?”

 

I grinned at the thought, “The size of my property is gonna be huge, sweetheart, next-door is gonna be about 15 miles down the road.” I joked.

 

She shrugged, “That’s okay, we could build one of those flat escalator things like they have in the airports and it could lead from my front door, to yours. Now that’d be fun.”

 

I loved her witty line of thinking. “Yeah, it could go super fast and part of the fun would be trying not to fall back from the g-force.”

 

We both began to laugh at our own silliness. “Yeah okay, so we’ll definitely do the escalator thing. Maybe you should think about a dungeon with spiked walls that close-in, and then we could get all the jerks that say mean stuff about you, and everyone I don’t like, and stuff them in there. And we could play bad music to torture them.” Jade rolled on with the ideas, I was beside myself laughing at the thought.

 

“That would have to be quite a big room, Jade.”

“Yeah, that’s true, there’s a lot of people that I don’t like. Oh, you know what, the smaller the room the better. They’ll suffer. We could play Madonna and Debbie Gibson music on repeat. They’d be so sorry they ever messed with us!”

 

I burst out laughing at her never-ending remarks about Madonna. “They would be begging for mercy.” I agreed with a nod. My cheeks were beginning to hurt from how hard I was laughing and smiling. Definitely a feeling that I wouldn’t have minded getting used to.

 

We calmed down from our little fit of giggles and Jade encouraged me to start unpacking the picnic basket. “What did you bring?” She wondered. “I don’t quite know what to make of the ‘Jade and Michael style’ food you were talking about.”

 

I pulled out a packet of corn chips, and some sandwiches I had made, at least I could do something right in the kitchen. There was some guacamole and salsa and most importantly a bottle of coca-cola. No thanks to Jade, I was becoming addicted to that shit. I had also picked up a chicken salad from the store. I even bought two candles with strong candle holders so they couldn’t blow over.

 

“You’re a genius!” Jade exclaimed as I lit the candles carefully between us. “This is great! You know me so well!”

 

“I’m glad I’m not the only crappy eater out there.” I replied, “You make me feel comfortable about eating crap.”

 

Jade laughed, “Don’t you hate it when you go out to dinner or something and everyone is eating all healthy and all you want is that big ass burger with the massive side order of fries but you know you’d get strange looks if you do order it?”

 

I nodded, “Yeah! And instead you get some retarded plate of rabbits food, with a piece of lettuce and a strategically cut piece of shrimp.”

 

We laughed as I uncovered the sandwiches. There were two kinds, one was tuna salad and the other just regular salad.

 

“I hate that. Just give me a glass of coke and a hamburger and I’m set.” She paused and considered how she sounded, “Sorry Michael, I’m not really a classy girl.” She laughed.

 

“Yes you are.” I contradicted her, “You just know how to eat properly, and I actually don’t so it’s a good learning curve for me.” I said honestly, “Mostly I don’t eat very well, especially in front of people, but I feel comfortable eating in front of you.”

 

“Well that’s good, but I’m not the queen or anything. I’m not going to send you to the spike-walled dungeon if you slop something.”

 

I cracked up. “Thanks…You’re just too kind.”

 

“I know.” She tossed her hair, “I get that a lot.” She added smartly, before laughing at her own sillyness. I rolled my eyes playfully and held handed her the bottle of coke and placed two glasses in front of her. “You can be in charge of the pouring.”

 

“Oooh responsibilities.”

 

“Of course as the big strong masculine man that I am, I’ll be in charge of the opening of the salsa lid.” I joked.

 

I popped open the bag of corn chips and spread everything out around us. “Okay…. Time to eat up.”

 

We were having such fun already and dammit, I couldn’t have been any happier at that moment. I was a perfectly contented man. I couldn’t even remember the last time I felt this damn good.

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