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Everything was fantastic! I couldn’t have been more pleased if I wanted to be. I had spent two full days with Jade. We had dinner together and she invited me back very casually the following day, the Sunday, to watch videos and pike out on the couch. It was so much fun.

 

We ate so much food that I felt like I could have popped. Enjoying food was still an unusual concept to me, but Jade made me comfortable with it real quick. She had earlier proclaimed to me that she wasn’t much of a cook, but I soon learned that it was a lie. Well, at least she was doing better than me, anyway. The most elaborate thing that I could cook was hot dogs, and I didn’t even eat them!

 

Jade baked brownies and had chips and all types of different crackers, as if she was expecting to have a party. I was a bit surprised at first, but she laughed in return of the strange look I was giving all of the food, “Hey, if we’re gonna go all out and spend the day being lazy sloths, we may as well do it properly, right?”

 

I lifted a cube of cheese between my fingers and examined it. “I shouldn’t even be eating half of this stuff…” I smirked before plopping it in to my mouth without a cracker. “I’m supposed to lay low on the dairy.”

 

Jade raised her eyebrow, “Boy please, you don’t want to make a girl feel fat now do you?” She looked my thin frame up and down. “You’re stick thin, you could do with a bit of fattening up.”

 

I knew that it had to be the truth since my Mother also regularly told me the same thing. “I’m sorry. Everyone around me tells me what I should and shouldn’t be eating. It’s kind of been beaten in to me, not to pig out on food.”

 

She just laughed as if it were fictional. “I won’t tell anyone.”

 

And that sealed the deal for me. I helped her bring the piles of junk food in to the living room with a smile growing on my face. It was rare that I would allow myself to misbehave, let loose and do what I was told not to.

 

We watched movie after movie and talked between them and sometimes even during them. I told her a lot about my life on tour and the way my brothers were, and my reasons for being so different to them.

 

“Can I ask you something really bold?” She blurted out during the climax of a really, really bad Beatles movie that depicted the groupie lifestyle as fashionable and desirable. Jade and I had been injecting smarmy remarks all the way through. I was glad she saw through it.

 

It was a well-timed distraction from such a pile of horse shit on film. “Sure” I answered, wondering what was going through her head. I loved those beautiful green eyes of hers. She had her brown hair pulled back off of her face and looked up at me sitting beside her thoughtfully.

 

“I know you said you don’t… but have you ever hooked up with a groupie?” She asked.

 

I could feel my cheeks brightening a little and I tried to stifle an embarrassed smile. It wasn’t a guilty “found-out” smile, but rather one that was a little thrown by quite how direct her question was. “Do you mean… have I … slept with a groupie?”

 

She shrugged, “Slept with, dated, fooled around…whatever, you don’t have to answer.”

 

I shook my head immediately. “Never. Not groupies. You can set apart fans from the girls that are there for just one thing. I sometimes spend time with my fans, but only ever in secure environments and in groups so that nothing can be used against me.” I explained. “But I have never ever slept with a fan or a groupie.” I paused, -- “Or anyone.”


She did a double take and her eyes widened, “What? You? A virgin! No way.” She laughed.

 

If it had of came from anyone else I probably would have been a bit offended, but I wasn’t. “Really.” I insisted, eager for her to believe me.

 

“Why not then, what’s stopped you? You’ve had girlfriends and stuff, right?” She asked a little more personally.

 

I nodded, “Of course I have, Jade, but you know too, that just cause you’re in a relationship doesn’t really require to have sex with someone, especially if you’re not ready.” I told her, “And I want to make sure I’m going to lose my virginity to someone who I love whole-heartedly, who I know loves me back just the same. It’s got to be absolutely perfect.”

 

I loved that I could be brutally honest with her and I didn’t have any reservations about what I told her. She smiled. “You’re going to make someone really happy one day with that kind of attitude.” She complimented me.

 

It made my heart beat a little harder, you know. I wanted just to kiss her right then and there and get it over with. The feelings that overflowed my heart for her were kind of hard to reign at times like this. I had never met anyone that I could feel so comfortable with. I had known her for just over a month and already I was feeling things for her that I’d never experienced with any other woman.

 

“Thanks…” I murmured. I wanted to tell her that I thought that she would be the perfect girl that every decent guy dreamed of, but I decided against it, for fear it would be more of a personal admission than a passing compliment. “It’s so hard to meet decent people in my industry, though. Everyone has their own agenda.”

 

“It’s not just in your industry.” She quietly lamented.

 

With this depressing thought, we both picked up food as if on cue and started munching away.

 

“Oh man, look at us… both pathetic and single, eating like fat ass Americans in front of the TV, no wonder we don’t have partners.” She laughed.

 

I joined in as well, it was pretty funny. We really were eating like pigs, but I didn’t care cause I had such a great time with her.

 

It was a crap feeling to have to end our weekend together. I promised I’d call her through the week and left when it became clear that we were both were too tired to eat or watch anymore TV.

 

**

 

 

I wasn’t expecting to hear from her again so soon, but the very next day while I was about to leave the house, I received a phone call. I could tell from the shakiness within her tone that something was amiss.

 

I had to go, I hated myself for needing to end the conversation, but I was meeting the damn mayor. I wished I could put it off, but I didn’t think I was going to be able to. It had to be a matter of life or death. “Jade, is everything okay?” I asked gently.

 

“Can I come over, Michael?” She asked through a restrained voice. I knew that voice was one that was stifling tears. Immediately I forgot my appointment.

 

“Of course. Is there something wrong?” I asked.

 

“I just need to talk to someone….” Her voice trailed off. I knew something terrible must have happened, but I couldn’t imagine what. She certainly wasn’t the type of girl who got upset over a broken nail or a bad hair day.

 

“Okay sweet heart, are you okay to drive or do you want me to come and get you?” I asked, thinking quickly. I knew that my advisor was going to kick my ass for this stunt, but I didn’t care.

 

“I’m about to drive home from the hospital. I’m not too far away.” Her voice finally cracked.

 

“Are you hurt? Is everything okay?” Immediately my heart was in my throat, sick with worry that something had happened to her. My mind was filled with thoughts of her ex boyfriend, he better hope to God that he had nothing to do with her reasons for being at the hospital.

 

“I’m fine. I’ll be there really soon.”

 

I let out a sigh of relief and ended the conversation so that she could arrive quicker. I had to quickly cancel my day. This was going to induce a temper tantrums from probably everyone in my inner circle, but so what. The mayor could wait. This was important.

 

I opened the door to my apartment and she basically collapsed in to my arms. Her cheeks were blotchy and her eyes were puffed. She was in a state that I was least expecting to find her in. She let me pull her inward toward my chest. I curled my arms around her, reaching over to shut the door behind her. I did my best to soothe her. My heart stirred with concern and worry. I had no faint idea what had gone on, but I didn’t expect her to be able to blurt it all out, because her tears were enough to take away her ability to speak rationally.

 

I was the type of person that usually threw himself in to sympathy mode. If I saw a person crying, it made me want to cry. If I saw someone in physical pain, I would wince as though I too, had been struck. So when I saw Jade hurting, I too, hurt for her. My heart was heavy, as though I was carrying whatever burden she had been encumbered with. I kissed the top of her head softly. I didn’t actually say anything because I knew it would be futile to tell her things would be okay if they weren’t going to be.

 

“Come on…” I said gently, “Let’s go on in and sit down, okay?” I spoke to her in my most tender voice. She nodded and wiped her eyes. She apologized tearfully for the state in which she had arrived. I knew she had to have been ashamed, but obviously not so much so that it stopped her from coming to me.

 

“Don’t say sorry.” I said simply, taking her hand and guiding her to my living room. It wasn’t quite as immaculate as it had been the first time she had arrived. I had a double blanket and a pillow on the couch as I’d slept there and watched television all night.

 

I moved the blanket and threw the pillow to the armchair and motioned for her to sit down. She took a seat and I joined her. At first we didn’t say anything. She sat a bit stiffly, her hands in her laps trying to regain her composure. I watched her intently and stroked her hair softly. Amazingly, she didn’t flinch. “Do you want to talk about it?” I asked after giving her enough time.

 

“It’s all my fault…” She murmured softly. Her green eyes seemed full of regret. I wanted to hold her close again. “If I had of been there more… If I had of called her…” She wept. A lone tear trickled down her cheek and I felt bad for thinking that she had never been more beautiful. However, my stomach was in a knot and my heart sank knowing obviously that something tragic had occurred.

 

“Who?” I asked, taking one of her hands in both of mine, folding my fingers around hers.

 

“Gabrielle.” She said her name as if it was going to poison her. I had heard of Gabrielle before, just in passing. From what I knew it was her best friend. Or a best friend that she didn’t really like to see anymore. “I kept making excuses not to see her, or I … couldn’t be fucking bothered talking to her about her drug problem…” A fresh new wave of tears flooded her eyes. I knew she was trying to hold them back, but she couldn’t.

 

“What happened, sweetheart?” I prompted her.

 

“She overdosed last night and she’s in a coma.”

 

“Oh, Jade, I’m so sorry…” I almost gasped in shock. I pulled her close to me again, strange that just minutes ago I had wanted to have her against me so bad, but those thoughts had been exchanged for feelings that were sick with empathy. 

 

“It’s my fault… if I had of just-“

 

“It’s not your fault.” I said firmly, interrupting her what-if game. “Gabrielle wouldn’t want you to blame yourself.” I knew everything that was spurting out of my lips was pure cliché and Jade probably knew it too, but what else was there to say?

 

She didn’t say anything really. She made a few feeble protests but mostly she collapsed with exhausted tears in to my embrace. I was really surprised by how tightly she clutched on to me, as if she never wanted to let me go. I was concerned for her, for her friend. I kissed her softly on the top of her head and stroked her hair, promising that whatever happened, she had me. I’m not entirely sure if that was any consolation but it seemed to be exactly what she needed to hear.

 

We sit on my couch together as my home phone rang repeatedly. I could only imagine that it would be my personal assistant or someone from the management team demanding me to rethink my cancellation. I couldn’t though. There was no way I was going to be leaving Jade by herself.

 

“Have you had any sleep at all?” I asked her softly. She shook her head. “Her idiot friends called me at just after 1am. They were too scared to call her parents or an ambulance because they would get in to trouble.” She wiped fresh tears as she explained what had gone on. “They asked me if I could come so they could leave…”

 

“You’re joking…” I murmured. I had no idea people could be so ruthless. Well, actually, I did, but it never ceased to amaze me.

 

“I told them to call the God damn paramedics and I called her parents and sped over to her apartment. And all her so-called friends were gone.”

 

“What! They just left her?”

 

“They all scattered…” Jade nodded. She tried to halt her tears, but as I looked her in the eye, after she had broke from the embrace we were previously in, I could see them quickly filling again. I leaned over and with my thumb, I wiped away a tear that rolled down her cheek. She said nothing, but looked away from me, down at her hands in front of her. It was a moment of conscious vulnerability on her behalf. She hadn’t realized just how much of a raw perspective of herself she had given me.

 

“I’ve been at the hospital all night with her parents.” She told me. “They’re both absolutely hysterical. Her mother started blaming me, thinking I was there with her all night…”

 

“Oh no…” I tried to imagine how traumatic it must have been to find her friend overdosed, to deal with her parents and to put up with their accusations when she was only being a friend. “They know now that it was nothing to do with you right?”

 

Jade shrugged, “I don’t know… everything that happened is just a blur… I could hear them talking to me I just wasn’t really paying attention…” Her voice trailed off. “In the end I couldn’t be there anymore, and I don’t want my parents to know Gaby was on drugs…”

 

I understood. The phone in the background ringing repeatedly was such a distraction. I had to get it. “I’m sorry Michael, you must be so busy… you better answer your phone.”

 

“Don’t apologize. I’m never too busy for you, Jade.” When the phone stopped ringing and then immediately started again, I groaned with annoyance. “I’m just going to see which persistent jerk it is calling me, and I’ll be right back.”

 

“Okay.” She agreed. I think she wanted the moment to re-gather her composure. I got up and headed to the kitchen to take the call. I picked up the phone dreading to hear who was at the other end.

 

“Hello?” I was always careful never to sound too much like myself when I answered the phone. I was afraid of fans finding my number, or worse – crazy people. It had happened quite often.

 

“Michael, it’s Sarah.” I groaned again, interiorly.

 

“Hi Sarah.” I replied in monotone. I knew my ass was about to be kicked. Sarah was my manager. She was so high-strung and in most cases, she just wouldn’t take no for an answer. She wasn’t scared to get on my case, I knew that this was going to be one of those times. I was usually just far too polite to put her in her place.

 

“What’s going on? I just received a message on my machine from a pissed-off P.A that works for Rolland Shepart saying that you’ve cancelled at the last minute. I re-assured her it was a mistake.”

 

I felt angry that she had done that without consulting me. “Are you kidding?” I asked with disbelief. “Sarah, I know it was important, but I have personal issues that are sought priority. You better call her and tell her you made a mistake.”

 

“What personal issues? Michael this better not be one of those, ‘I don’t feel like it’ cancellations, you can’t do that to these people.”

 

One feigned illness to get out of meeting Ronald Reagan and suddenly you’re forever under suspicion. I stifled a smile. “Sarah, this is serious. I’m not going today. I have other things that I have to do and they take priority and I know I’m letting them down, but this can’t be helped.”

 

Sarah grumbled for a few moments about the importance of my work before pretty much slamming the phone down in my ear. I hated that just because I was a musician, my employees expected my life to revolve around my work. Sometimes I just didn’t feel like going to work, or meeting certain people who I was supposed to be impressed by. Mostly meetings with other musicians, corporate bigwigs or political figures disinterested me. I felt more regal in the presence of children or people who actually possessed personalities. None of this show biz shit for me, it was all over my head. I was tired of it.

 

I headed back to the living room, Jade had helped herself to some tissues from the coffee table and tried to fix herself up a bit. “Do you want me to make you a coffee or tea or something?” I asked, “something to eat?”

 

“Coffee. Please.” She answered. As I went to go and fetch her some, she called to me. “Michael, I’m so sorry for putting all of this on you. I feel terrible.” She apologized feebly.

 

I gave her a half smile and made my way back to the couch and sat down. I knew it was so hard for her to come to me for help, or anyone for that matter, so I understood how desperate and alone she must have been feeling. It was hard for me also to convey myself emotionally to someone who I was scared of getting too involved with – but Jade seemed to wash that feeling away. I took her hand in mine and threaded her fingers through my own.

 

“You shouldn’t be feeling terrible on the account of coming to see me, Jade. We’re friends, and I’m honored that you came to me. I’m here for you whenever you need me… You’re always welcome here. My home is your home.” I told her sincerely. “I don’t want you to apologize or think you’ve impeded on my time. I’m happy to have you here, whatever the situation.”

 

I realized how much that meant to her; probably something that she had been long needing to hear. That she had a friend, a true one. One that wanted absolutely nothing from her in return, with no expectations or emotional blackmail games to throw back at her. Her eyes filled up again. I put my arm around her. “I don’t know if it means anything to you, but you can trust me with anything.”

 

“It does.” She murmured in a tiny voice. At that moment, I knew that part of her tears were a reluctant farewell to the fear of letting herself become vulnerable to me. She had been slowly but surely letting go of that fear for awhile, and now it had dissipated completely. I was proud of her. I was also proud of myself. Persistence always reaped rewards. I’d gained an amazing friend of whom I was absolutely crazy about – and I didn’t care if we never became more than friends.

 

I hugged gently and kissed her cheek and got up to make us both a coffee.

 

**

 

Jade was exhausted. She had expressed an interest after lunch in going back to the hospital, but there was no way I was going to allow her behind the wheel of her car in the state that she was in. She needed sleep and I was determined to make sure she got it.

 

I got a call at around lunch time from Sarah again who had deemed it imperative that I go and meet with her to sign some contract for Lord only knew what… I agreed albeit hesitantly. I decided that during that time, I would persuade Jade to take a nap. We had sat about quietly both taking up entire couches, sprawling out, watching mindless TV shows in the darkened living room. There was mostly silence between us, I asked a couple of times if she wanted to eat, but she wasn’t interested. She stared mostly blankly at the screen. I knew she probably wasn’t even paying attention but it served as a little attention diversion.

 

“Sweetheart, I have to go and do something at my manager’s office.” I announced, returning back to the living room after I ended the call.

 

“Oh…” Jade sat up. “Why didn’t you say so?” She went to get up, thinking that I was kicking her out.

 

“No…” I put my hand gently on her shoulder, “stay here… it’s fine. I’ll only be gone for about an hour. Why don’t you hang out here and try to rest some, you’ve almost been up for 24 hrs.” I suggested tenderly.

 

She gave me a piercing stare, as if she was trying to figure out why I was being so kind, or why I was so concerned. “I’ve been here long enough I should go back and see how she is.” She finally said.

 

“Jade, come on. I’m not going to let you drive.” I could tell how fatigued she was by the bags under eyes and the way she was speaking sluggishly. I knew there was a big part of her that was possibly still in shock after finding her best friend in such a state. I couldn’t blame her. “It’s not safe for you to get behind the wheel.”

 

“I’ll be fine.” She protested feebly. “I just want to know how she’s doing. I can’t stand not doing anything.”

 

“Look, you’re not a doctor, Jade, there’s nothing you can do.” I tried my best to be gentle as I convinced her. “You did everything right. You were first to her side, you made sure she got off to the hospital and you explained as best you could to her parents what the situation was.” I reminded her.

 

“But I was too late…” She said softly. I noticed her blinking back tears. I felt my heart absolutely melting.

 

“It’s not your fault.” I told her. “You were the perfect friend to her last night, Jade. You did everything that you could.” I insisted. I extended my hand out to her. “Come on, come with me…”

 

She reluctantly took my hand and I helped her up off of the couch. I put an arm around her waist and showed her upstairs. Upstairs was my bedroom, the guestroom, a playroom for my nephews and nieces and just a bathroom.

 

I opened the door of the guestroom that was really quite beautiful. It had been done up in a mauve color scheme. There was a double bed in the middle of a large and spacious room. It had a large bookcase in the corner with all types of reading material imaginable and a cupboard with fresh towels and wash cloths.

 

“Why don’t you make yourself at home, take a shower and have a nap or whatever you want. I promise you’ll feel even just that tiny bit better about things.”

 

“Okay…” She finally agreed. I showed her where the towels were and made sure that I was clear that she should help herself to anything she wanted or needed.

 

“I’ll be back in no more than an hour.” I promised “and if you want I’ll drive you to the hospital or we can give them a call or something.”

 

She nodded in agreement but her expression was pretty empty. Surprising me, when I went to leave her, she grabbed my wrist gently. I turned to see what was up. She said nothing and gave me a warm hug. I never realized how needy she was until that moment. In a way it pleased me to know that she had let me in to her little world completely and obviously trusted me enough to show me affection, but I felt so sorry that it was a situation like this, that made her realize how much I cared for her.

 

I embraced her back with as much emotion and care. I rubbed her back lightly. She drew away after a few short moments and thanked me.

 

“My pleasure.” I replied. “I’ll be back soon. Call me if you need anything.” I told her, and left a number by the phone in case she needed to reach me.

 

**

 

“You know, Michael, I have every right to be pissed with you today. Mr. Shepart is a busy man.” She reminded me.

 

“Yeah, well news flash, Sarah, so am I.” I threw back with irate. I didn’t go to her office for this shit. I wanted to sign the contracts and get the hell out of there. “I bet Rolland Shepart even gets the day off work if something important comes along.” I added.

 

She glared at me with her dark brown eyes and just shook her head as if she couldn’t believe I was acting in such a way. How dare I? I thought mockingly.

 

“So are you going to tell me what important thing suddenly came up, or am I going to have to assume that you decided to throw a sick day.” She wondered.

 

I wanted to tell her to loosen her skin-tight pants suit, ‘cause it was cutting off the flow of oxygen to her usually intelligent brain. I hated having to answer to people, but I hated even more when people assumed I was lying. “A friend of mine needed me urgently.”

 

Sarah lit a cigarette and drew back hard. She turned her head and blew the smoke away from me. I hated smoke with a passion. I couldn’t stand the smell, and just the fact she was smoking in the same room as me, annoyed me. I knew though, that it was almost like her little spiteful way of getting back at me for pissing her off. Ah, I worked with all kinds of mature. “And what? The friend didn’t have anyone else they could go to?”

 

“As a matter of fact, no.” I replied with defiance, we were staring each-other out. I was determined not to turn away from her glare first. I was not going to let her win this battle. “Sometimes, people need to remember that Michael Jackson- The Entertainer is not my entire life. I’m not a machine Sarah. I eat, sleep and shit just like you.”

 

She raised her eyebrow, probably surprised by me cursing. It was irregular for me to even use the word, “damn”. I’m sure she was reeling in shock on the inside.

 

“Yes.” I added, “Hard to believe, I know. But it’s true.” 

 

“Look, Michael. You employ me to do a certain job, I’m just doing that job. You pay me to make sure you do your job, so unless you keep up with yours, I am not completing mine. When you pull out of something without telling me, and I receive barrages of angry calls from secretaries of God knows who, I feel like I’m fighting a losing battle. It makes me look bad and then it makes you look bad.”

 

“Well then maybe today is just the day that I’ll look bad. I’m fine with that. I’m human, you know, and I actually have a personal life as well. If Rolland Shepart won’t meet with me in the future, I really don’t give a stuffed pig. I could have cared less about meeting with him to begin with.” I admitted. “Now you said there was some contracts…”

 

I wasn’t going to let her continue walking all over me and talking down to me just because she was fifteen years older than I was. Hell, I was still paying her bills. I was the boss. I wanted to get out of there. Her smoke-filled office was choking me and I was more concerned with how Jade was doing back home.

 

Sarah got up from the desk, stubbing her cigarette out in to an ashtray and went to a filing cabinet. She put a couple of papers before me and crossed where I needed to sign. “It’s for the Oncology Unit at Core Medic Children’s Hospital.” She informed me. I glanced over the paper briefly. It was a simple document pledging half a million dollars for treatments and technology. I signed the paper and glanced at the next one.

 

“What’s this?” I asked, it was something rather unfamiliar.

 

“Sheba Sanchez asking permission to sample Off The Wall I almost laughed Sheba Sanchez was a one-hit-wonder who sounded as though she sucked a balloon full of helium before she performed some manky techno-electronica.

 

“And Epic are okay with this?” I asked, amused.

 

Sarah gave a shrug as she lit another cigarette. She didn’t usually smoke this much, she was definitely just trying to piss me off. “I suppose.”

 

“Well it’s not okay with me.” I informed her, crumpling the document in my hand. Why on Earth would I let some classless act desecrate a song that I hoped in generations would become a classic? Screw that. “Just get someone to write her a refusal.” I told my manager.

 

“Anything else?”

 

“Just these…” She pointed a stubby, ungroomed fingernail down at another paper. “They’re just the charity stuff though.”

 

“No problem.” I started signing my name on the dotted line. I knew I was signing way easily around 2million dollars, but in honesty, it was water off a ducks back. It was just money, it meant nothing to me. I was comfortable, so was my family – there was no need for greed. If someone else could have benefit immensely from my earnings then I was more than happy to share it.

 

I stood up. “Keep duties light for the next few days.” I said breezily as I walked out of her office, not giving her a chance to say a single word in reply.

 

**

 

I arrived home after an hour or so and went straight in to check on Jade. She wasn’t in the guest room, the bed was untouched so I knew she hadn’t been sleeping. I went back downstairs and found her curled up on the couch with the television going. Her hair looked damp, so I assume she had showered. She was sleeping soundly. She looked so sweet that I couldn’t bear to disturb her. I covered her over with a quilt and took a now-cold coffee cup from the table to the kitchen to rinse.

 

I set myself down on the other couch and turned the cartoon network on. It felt so good to be doing absolutely nothing. Maybe I should have thought more about setting aside a day off every single week. A day without business phone calls, meetings or anyone getting on my case about something or another. Wow, the thought was as sweet as heaven. I decided whole-heartedly that I’d look in to it.

 

Around 5pm Jade was still sleeping. She had tossed and turned a fair bit, so I gathered her sleep was obviously disturbed. I decided it was time to get something to eat. I needed something light and easy that wouldn’t end in disaster. This was going to be a lot to ask.

 

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