"LEXI GRACE ADAMS!"

Sunlight beamed through the large kitchen windows, and glancing out of my corner of my eye towards the doorway I heard the crinkle of the newspaper as I tightened my fists against the paper and slumped down, sinking my head lower into the paper.

"Lex, WHERE exactly are you at?"

Michael's voice rang down from upstairs, and nervously my heart pounded in my chest as I jiggled my pump under the counter, the silver charms on my anklet jingling against the black barstool.

"Ahaha, there you are."

My eyes wide, my ponytail bobbed against my neck as I slumped my shoulders and leaned in towards the counter.   Surprised, I peeked over my paper and saw him standing in the doorway in a pair of blue athletic pants and a white tank.  Michael's hair pulled back in a clip, I saw the frustration and amusement etched into his eyes. Coming in from the entryway, Michael must have raced down since I had heard his voice from upstairs only moments ago.

Which meant...he had found...

"Lex, what is this?"

"Hmm?"

Innocently, I shifted my eyes back down to the paper and kept my head down.  Footsteps indicated Michael was moving closer, but I tried not to notice.  Tried to appear like I was absorbed in the paper.

"Lexi"

Keeping my eyes trained in front of me, I pretended I hadn't heard him.

"Lexi I know you aren't actually reading that."

Ignoring him, I sunk further against the counter.

"Lexi!"

Startled  I felt Michael's arms swoop around my waist from behind.  Surprised, my body jolted back towards Michael.  My feet shifted underneath me, and I felt my ankle make contact with the cool steel chair leg as it clamored to the floor.  Letting out a shriek of surprise, Michael's arms tightened around my waist, and my yellow tunic flew up exposing my belly as I collided against him and we went tumbling, backwards, towards the floor.

"Umph!"

Hands and arms flew wildly in the air, and tendrils of blonde hair flew into my face as I smashed against him on the hard wood flooring.  The scent of Michael's cologne filled my senses, and I felt the warmth of his fingertips against my skin as he grumbled a low groan underneath me.  Breathless, I moved wildly against him and tried to find my balance. Shifting my hands against the cool floor I quickly straightened my legs and tried to shoot to my feet.

"I don't think so Lex"

Michael's soft laugh behind me made me cringe, and I let out a small shriek as his arms wrapped around my waist and tugged me back down to the ground.

Grimacing, I lowered my arms to my lap and tugged my jean skirt down.  Michael's fingers slid across my stomach, and I felt his palms rest against my belly button as he locked his arms tightly around me.  My heart pounding wildly, I closed my eyes tightly anticipating that Michael was about to show me the last thing I wanted to see.

"Lex, what is this?"

Locking my jaw, I heard jingling and my resolve strengthened to keep my eyes closed.  Michael's head moved underneath me, and I felt him lodge his face in the side of my neck to see my face.

"Lexi, are your eyes closed?"

Ignoring him, I bit my lower lip and tilted my head away from the direction I knew he was looking.

"Lexi!"

I remained quiet.

"Lexi, open your eyes."

Stubbornly, I shook my head no.

"Lexi Grace. "

Ignoring him again, I heard Michael chuckle and I let out a loud squeal when I felt his hands tighten around my waist.  Moving quickly, Michael slid out from underneath me and moved his hands to my head to keep it from slamming against the floor.

Shifting against him was useless, and Michael moved quickly settling his legs on either side of me.  I felt the soft cotton of his athletic pants as he locked me in, and my eyes wide in surprise I watched him eyeing me in amusement.

"Lexi..."

Tilting my head to the side, I held back a chuckle and reached forward to brush a curl from his eyes. 

"Hey baby..."

Michael's mocha brown eyes peered down at me in amusement.  Smiling innocently, I batted my eyelashes and feigned innocence.

"Lexi.  Where are my keys?"

Glancing towards his hand, I bit my lip again when I saw his key ring void of his car keys.  I looked at them for a moment, the light bouncing off the metal, and my heart pounding in my ears I glanced back towards him and let out an awkward cough.

"I don't know sweetie.  Weird huh?"

Michael gave me a smirk, and his eyes softened as he leaned in towards me, curls brushing against the tip of my nose as he leaned in and planted a kiss on my lips.

"Mhmm, what'd you do with them?" Michael mumbled, pulling back slightly to look at me.

Quickly I tried to glance away, but Michael was quick and moved his hands to my face.  Gripping my hair on both sides, Michael buried his hands in my hair and leaned in, locking my head in his direction.

"Lex, you know I have to go" Michael chuckled, his breath tickling against my neck as he leaned forward and kissed my chin.

Grimacing, I blew a breath between my teeth and looked up at him. 

"You always have to go though" I sighed, crinkling my nose.  Michael's lips parted slightly, and I grimaced and glanced to his chest.   Letting out a small sigh, I moved my hands from my his face down to his shirt.  Moving my fingers slowly, I swallowed back my frustration.   "I feel like I barely see you anymore" I whispered softly, the soft cotton brushing against my fingertips.

"I know...But Lexi you knew what my career was like when we got together."

My eyes widening in surprise, I glanced up at Michael and arched my eyebrows.  "Michael that's unfair and you know it.  I grew up with your schedule.  Lately you've been gone more than normal though and we both know it."

Michael's brow furrowed together, and reluctantly he let out a small sigh and nodded his head, a tendril escaping his ponytail and falling over his brow.

"Your right Lex, I'm sorry that was unfair."

"Michael" I whispered, a lump in my throat.  "You were gone all last week on promotional tours, the week before that visiting the children's hospitals."  Gently Michael nodded, and lowered his eyes.  "Before that you spent a month abroad working on new material, visiting fans.  And the month before that you were locked up almost daily, writing.  When you are home, you get home hours later than normal.  What gives?" I asked softly, voicing my deepest fear.  "Are you having second thoughts about the wedding?  Do you want me to move out and give you some space?"

Michael's eyes shot open, and I felt tears swell up in my own as he looked at me, and released my hair to caress my face.  Gently his fingers moved against my cheeks, against my nose and my chin, and I held my tears at bay waiting for him to answer. 

"I made you think that?"

Reluctantly letting out a small sniffle, I nodded my head.

"Aww Lexi.  Sweetheart is that why you hid my keys?" 

Nodding my head again, Michael sighed and glanced down.  Biting my lip I waited for him to speak. 

"Lex, I know I haven't made you a priority lately." Michael started, glancing back up into my eyes.  "But that's going to change."  Slowly his fingers rested on my lips, and I watched his eyes wash over with pain and regret.  "Lexi your just as important to me as you ever were. How about you, and me, tomorrow have a movie night?"

Taking a small breath, I tilted my head to the side and looked at him questioningly. 

"I thought you had plans tomorrow night."

"They just changed."

Smiling softly, Michael leaned in towards me and cupped my face into his hands.  I melted into him as he moved in closer to me, and I felt electricity spark and course within me as Michael's lips brushed against my own tenderly.

"I love you" I mumbled, moving my hands around him and up to his hair.

"I love you too Lex. Even though you hid my keys."

Rolling my eyes, i swatted him playfully and wrapped my arms back around his neck.

"Your a jerk Jackson."

Michael snorted, pulling back to look at me.

"A jerk your stuck with.  You better get used to it baby.  It's only down hill from here."

Cocking an eyebrow unamused, I gave him a sarcastic smirk and pointed towards the cookie jar.

"Over there."

Michael grinned, and in the blink of an eye moved in, pecked me on the cheek, and hopped off me towards the counter.

"See ya Lex.  Have fun with Janet today."

Nodding my head, I leaned up on my elbows.  Michael's feet pounded against the floor as he raced out the door.

I watched him, his curls bouncing wildly, and biting my lip I felt the ache of his absence once again.  Something that had begun to feel all to familar.

Still, he'd promised we'd spent tomorrow together.

Blowing a frustrated breath, I pushed myself up off the ground and straightened my clothes.

Glancing around the empty room, I closed my eyes and tried to fight off the strands of panic i sometimes felt when I was alone.

I was safe, everything was back to normal.

Still, something never felt right. 

It was probably just the ache of missing Michael.  Forcing myself to shake off the eerily feeling, I walked back to the counter and grabbed my newspaper.  Looking towards the ground I smiled seeing the chair that had toppled over earlier and, hair grazing my neck, i bent down and clasped the metal with my fingers.

"Lexi! Someone here wants to see you!"

Janet's voice rang from the front door, and I heard the sound of tiny steps echo through the hallway as I turned towards the entry way to see Nahla, Janet's daughter, racing towards me in a red and white plaid sundress.

"Aunt Lele!"

My face transformed into a smile, and the paper fell from my hands and slipped against the floor as I bent down, my arms open wide.

"Hey gorgeous."

Squealing, Kylie hopped up in my arms.  Wrapping her up tightly against me, I straightened and rubbed my nose against hers.

"How's my favorite girl?"

"I caught a cricket!"

Crinkling my nose, I watched in horror as Nahla whipped an arm in front of me and opened her palm, exposing a squashed insect. 

"Oh...that's..." 

"Disgusting, Nahla!"

Nahla's eyes shot open wide hearing Janet's voice, and the insect slid from Nahla's fingertips and tumbled down my shirt.

"Ahh!"

Squealing I lowered Nahla to the floor. 

"Nahla, what did i tell you about hiding insects in your pockets?"

"To...not...do...it?"

Nahla's voice rose a pitch with every word, and I shook the front of my shirt wildly waiting for the bug to drop to the ground.

"Nahla, no more."

Janet and Nahla bickered back and forth about her multitude of tiny friends, and finally getting the cricket out of my shirt i glanced towards them and cleared my throat to interupt.

"Uh, Janet"

Frustration evident in her eyes, Janet glanced over at me.  "Yes?"

"We better get going."

Janet nodded her head, and glanced down at Nahla.

"You ready to rock kiddo?"

"I'm setting next to Auntie Lele!"

Smiling, I reached a hand out and moved my fingers. 

"Grab on and let's go."

Grinning, Nahla's soft browl curls bounced as she raced forward and manuevered her warm sticky fingers through mine.


"To the car!"

"Aunt Lexi?"

Shifting in the passenger seat of Janet's van, I felt the leather pucker underneath me as I looked back, towards Nahla's carseat.  Curls framing her sweet face, Nahla's lips were puckered as she looked at me, her head tilted precariously in child-like wonderment.

 Affection swelled in my chest as she stared at me trying to form her thoughts.  Curiously wondering what her questions was, and why it was so difficult for her to form it I waited, placing my arm on the rest between Janet and I's seat.

"Nahla? What is it sweetie?"

"Well..." She started again slowly, taking a deep breath.  "Why do you think daddy didn't come to eat with us again this time?"

Sighing, I bit my lower lip and peaked towards Janet out of the corner of my eye.  Janet's gaze was steely as she stared forward, trying not to lose her temper.  Nervously I twiddled the bottom of my shirt and focused my attention back on her.

"I don't know sweetie..." I finally said, choking back my irritation and clenching my fingernails into my palms. 

Tony's antics never ceased to get under my skin.  Since his and Janet's break up a few years back he had proven to be a seriously dead beat dad.  It was a good thing Janet had for the most part her family's love and support.

Because is she hadn't...

I just wanted to kill him.  Period. 

My heart broke as I watched Nahla's eyes shoot down to the floorboard.  Small sniffles soon to follow, keeping my eyes trained on her I reached down, unbuckled my seat belt, and crawled into the back. 

Nahla's small sniffles quieted as I pressed my hands against the cool black leather and adjusted into my seat.  Buckling my seat belt I pushed a few strands of hair from my eyes and peaked over at her.  Eyes wide she cocked her head and looked at me.  Giving her a smile I leaned towards her and brushed my hand against her forehead.  Nahla's lips puckered, I leaned forward and gave her a kiss. 

"Little missy"  I cooed, giving her a affectionate smile.  "Do you know how much I love you?"

"As much as momma loves shoes?"

I tapped her nose with my finger.  "Nope. Way off."

"As much as Uncle Mike loves music?"

Resisting the urge to chuckle, I gave her a small nod again and pursed my lips together firmly.  "Nope."

Nahla's eyes twinkled as she sighed, and small tiny fingers wrapped themselves in my hair as she reached forward and grabbed my face.

"As much as as the stars in the sky?"

"As much as the stars in the sky" I repeated, giving her another affectionate look and giggling.

Nahla's eyes shining with tears, I reached forward and wiped them away as she smiled at me and rubbed her nose against mine.

"I love you too Auntie Lexi." She started slowly, a mischievous gleam in her eyes. " ALMOST as much as I do popcicles."

"Hey!"

Nahla's rotten giggles met my ears as I pulled my head back laughing and reached forward, tickling her sides.  Nahla's bright pink car seat rocked slightly, and I dodged her legs as she kicked wildly, trying to dodge my hands.

"I'm sorry!  I was kidding!"

"To little to late kiddo" I chuckled, glancing up towards the front.  Janet's eyes peered back at me, through the rear view mirror and I smiled, seeing her mouth "Thank You" in the reflection.

"Mommy! Save me!"

Nahla's pleas received laughter from Janet, and glancing back towards Nahla I gave her a small wink.

"Maybe next time you'll think twice before you speak."

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Ten Hours Later

"Lexi, I still don't think this is a good idea."

Sighing, I made my way through the front door at Neverland.  The door clicked shut behind me, and sliding out my shoes I glanced around the empty entryway looking for Michael.

Just home from my day with Nahla and Janet, I was on the phone with Frank discussing the impending trial and more than anxious to see Michael and spend some time with him.

It had been a long day...and I was ready to snuggle up in Michael's arms and see him.  That was, if he was home.

"I need to Frank, you know that.  What if I don't? And he walks? Then what?"

Frank's frustration was evident from the other line, and images of my stalker at the last hearing flashed through my head like an unwelcomed, unbelievable puzzle piece to my past.  This man had almost stolen everything from me, for a reason I couldn't understand, and was the last thing I wanted to be thinking about right now.


"They can convict him without you there Lexi.  There's your written testimony, the evidence they found..."

"It's not enough."  I shifted the phone tighter against my shoulder and walked forward, towards the stairway."

"Lexi, it is enough..."  Frank started "The prosecuter said"

"No Frank, you don't understand."

Running a hand through my hair I sighed in exasperation and placed a hand on the railing.  Making my way up the stairs I glanced up, smiling when I saw Michael leaning over the bannister upstairs waiting for me.  Hair pulled back from his eyes, Michael looked tired in a dark blue t-shirt and black denim jeans. 

"It's not just the evidence thing....I just... need to see him I guess... I'm not saying i'll actually GO to the actual trial.  I think I would feel better if I could just" Letting out a frustrated sigh I ran my fingers through my hair "ASK him...you know? Ask him why." 

Michael's eyebrows rose and I grimaced. Unable to discuss it with him yet due to our busy schedules, I saw the disapproval etched in his features.  Taking the last few stairs Frank groaned into the phone and I walked towards Michael.  Michael's arms extended towards me I walked into them, inhaling the scent of his cologne and leaned my head against his chest. 

"Lexi..."

"No Frank....just listen okay?"

Letting out a low growl, Frank stopped talking.

" I need to know why he did it.  I have so many questions in my head.. It would only be one visit."

"Wait a second." Frank interrupted, and Michael's arms tightened around me.  "You want to SPEAK to him? As in person?"

Cringing, I closed my eyes.  "I don't know, maybe?"

"Lexi!"

"Frank I'll talk to you tomorrow alright?"

Not giving him a chance to interrupt I quickly reached up, ended the call, and stuffed it in my coat pocket. 

Groaning I slid my arms around Michael's wait and leaned into him again.  Pressing a kiss to the top of my head I waited, quietly for Michael to question me about my conversation.

"Lexi...." He finally started, slowly.  Hearing the apprehension in his voice I sighed and tilted my head up to look at him.  His brow furrowed, concern was etched in his features. 

"When were you going to tell me about this?"

Shrugging, I bit my lip.  "I don't know..." I started, expecting a fight.  "I just-"

"I'm going with you."

Michael's announcement surprised me and I stopped, raising my eyebrows.

"What?"

Michael smiled, seeing the confusion in my face.  "Did you expect a fight?"

Surprised, I nodded my head.  "Baby, I understand..." Michael replied softly, brushing another kiss on the top of my head.  "But I don't want you going alone.  This guy is just.." Michael paused, squinting.  "Bad news. But I understand...and I'm okay with it as long as I can go, okay?"

Affection swelled up in my heart, and smiling softly I leaned towards him and kissed his neck.

"Flaws.  There have to be some I just know it." I mumbled, closing my eyes and squeezing him tighter.

Michael giggled, and the soft cotton of his shirt shifted against my cheek as he tightened his hold and leaned down, whispering in my ear. "I'll remind you of that the next time you threaten to lock me for leaving the toilet seat up."

Opening my eyes I rolled them and swatted his back. 

"You mean like when I FALL IN THE TOILET? I think maybe you have a point."

Chuckling again Michael released me and I pulled back and clasped his hand.  Both of us began walking towards the bedroom and clearing his throat Michael changed the subject.

"So about our date tomorrow night."

Ugh, you've got to be kidding.

Cringing, I glanced over at him.  "Let me guess, your cancelling." 

My toes sinking into the soft carpet, I did my best to contain my frustration and walked towards the bed.  "I just wish."

Michael's arms came up behind me, and I felt the warmth of his fingertips against my skin as his hands slid around my waist, brushing against the edge of my shirt and my stomache. Surprised, I jerked back against him and tendrils of Michael's hair fell against my neck as he pressed a kiss against my head and moved his fingers slowly against the fabric of my shirt.

"Why" He started slowly, his breath hot against my neck as he chuckled.  "Do you automatically assume I'm cancelling?"

Opening my mouth, no words came out as he continued.

"Lexi Grace, what am I going to do with you?"

Sheepishly I glanced down, and my cheeks grew hot with embarrassment as I lowered my hands to his arms and ran circles along his knuckles.

"I don't know.." I mumbled slowly, leaning my head back against his chest.  "I just..."

"I just was going to ask you what you wanted me to pick up to watch tomorrow. Lex.  No cancelling intended."

Mumbling incoherently, I tilted my head to the side and continued messing with his knuckles.  Michael chuckled again, tightened his hold, and nudged his leg forward, moving us towards the bed.

"Move it.  You've got some apologizing to do."

Giggling, Michael and I monkey walked towards the bed and with a gentle nudge, Michael flung us forward on the bed and landed on top of me.

"Umph!" I squealed, the blankets swooshing against my face as he landed on top of me from behind. 

Michaels hands fell to my hips and cool air tickled against my neck and tickled my spine as the bed shifted from our shuffling.  Nudging the blankets up with my nose I laughed, my worries from earlier far behind.

Michael's laughter behind me loud and boisterous, I clutched the blankets and turned around underneath him to face him.  Michael's eyes twinkled as I settled comfortably, moving my shirt back down to cover my stomach. 

"I love you."

Smiling affectionately, I reached up and ran my fingers along Michael's cheeks as he leaned forward, his laughter dying down, and kissed me.

"I know" I mumbled playfully against his lips, pulling a curl into my fingertips.  "But so are you."

Michael groaned in the kiss, and giggling he mumbled.  "I'm going to ignore the fact...that you just called me beautiful."

Chuckling, I closed my eyes, and Michael's fingers moved tenderly against my neck and down my arms as we embraced softly, our legs and arms intertwining.

"I'm glad we get to do this...Be this way. Together." I sighed breaking the kiss, and mumbling against his lips.

"Me too Lex.  Very glad."

2 Weeks Later
Janet's Home

"Have you LOST YOUR MIND? NO.  I TOLD YOU THAT PAYMENT WAS- DON'T YOU HANG UP ON ME! NO....TONY DON'T YOU"

At Janet's spending the afternoon, we were curled up in the living room watching a movie.  Michael busy working in the studio I had spent quite a bit of time over here lately and probably would in the coming months when Michael had to do some traveling.

Sunny and intimate, the room was decorated in blues and light creams.  Large beach photos and vacation mementos were hung on the walls everywhere-including a large tan beach net sprawled behind the flat screen televison, and a thick blue rug was sprawled on the floor beneath us. Being at Janet's felt almost like being at home.

  Here this morning we had been attempting a girl's night and everything had been fine until about thirty minutes ago when Tony had finally called back to respond to about a half dozen messages Janet had left for him this week. Now, sunk into Janet's soft white couch everything felt like chaos and our girls morning in had been interrupted, rather albruptly, as Janet bickered on Nahla's behalf to her dead beat dad.


Resisting the urge to rolls my eyes I shifted against the couch and felt the soft cotton of my red cable knit sweater against my chin as I locked my arms around my waist and tried to keep focused on the screen in front of me.

"Is mommy fighting with daddy again?"

The air conditioning kicked on, and the whirl of the a/c sounded in the room as I heard Nahla's question beside me.  Not sure what to say to provide comfort I shifted slightly and looked down. The dim lights of the television flickered, a hue of colors from the moving pictures on the screen lighting her face and my heart ached, seeing the confusion and frustration in her eyes. Soft whips of hair fell against her cheeks.  Leaning down to brush a kiss on her forehead I worded what I needed to say carefully.

"No sweetie...she's just"

"TONY THAT'S NO EXCUSE! SHE'S STILL YOURS AND YOU NEED TO AT LEAST SLIGHTLY.....SLIGHTLY SHOW HER THAT YOU CARE. THAT YOUR NOT A POMPOUS A...APPLE."

Gritting my teeth I looked over Nahlas head to Janet, and glared.

"Janet..."I warned in a hiss. 

Oblivious, Janet's arms flew in the air and the television hummed in the distance as Nahla's tiny cool fingers slid against my palm and squeezed gently.

"Aunt Lexi..."

Heartbroken, I looked down into her light blue eyes and I shrugged, mentally resisting the urge to toss her in the car and buy her anything and everything she wanted.  Now, seeing the frustration in her crinkled brow puckered lips would definitely be the time for her to cash in.

"Your daddy loves you kiddo."

"But not QUITE as much as your uncle Mike."

Startled, I jumped and looked back to see Michael standing in the doorway staring down at us.  

Excited, Nahla squealed loudly and jumped off the couch.

Michael's face was tired, small wisps of black hair falling in his eyes and his back was slung haphazardly over his shoulder from earlier this afternoon.

"TONY I SWEAR TO GO....GOSH."

Rolling my eyes, I ignored it this time when Janet almost slipped up and cussed in front of Nahla.  

I was getting annoyed  But still...Tony was just.

Difficult.  He was difficult.

Definitely a master at bringing out the worst in people.

"Uncle Mike....Your stinky."

Hearing her disgust, I coughed into my hand to avoid from laughing as she hopped back from him, nose crinkled.

"Did you even BATHE uncle Mike??? I have some bubbles I can give you."

"You little..."

Peels of laughter sounded as Michael bent down, clutched Nahla, and tossed her up close to his chest. 

Giggling, Michael showed no mercy tickling her.

"So.  Have you been keeping Aunt Lexi in line?"

Giving Michael an indignant glare I tossed a pillow at him.

"At least I'm manageable..." I giggled, seeing the pillow land directly against Michael's face.  "Now others in this room..."

Michael stopped talking Nahla and hauled the pillow back in my direction. "Do you see the way she talks to me?"

Michael's tone loud and disbelieving, Nahla's sparkly pink nail polish glimmered in the light as she rested a hand on her hip and cocked her head to the side.

"Nope. She's right."

Grinning victoriously I motioned for Nahala to come back over and sit in my lap. "Look at that. So loyal to her Aunt Lexi."

"Uh huh."

Tossing my hair over my shoulder, I smiled when Nahla ran back across the room and hopped up next to me. "What are you doing here anyway?"


Michael's eyes flickered, and setting down his bag he hesitantly glanced in Nahla's direction. "Lex...I think I've finally found enough time to..."

My breath catching in my throat, I felt the implication wash over me like a violent wave.

"Today? You mean after your benefit concert?"

Michael shook his head affirmatively.  "But you might as well just come with me now."
 

I had been the one to push for this.  With Michael...with Frank.  But even so.

I couldn't imagine how this would turn out.  Meeting my attacker..stalker.  I had almost died and about six months ago the nightmares had finally ceased.

So why was I opening up this can of worms now?

Because something just didn't feel right. And I seriously needed closure.


"Okay..."

Tenderness creeped into his eyes, and closing the distance between us Michael stepped behind the couch and wrapped his arms around my shoulders.


I didn't face things this difficult head on, and I DEFINETLY had no desire to start now.  I hadn't seen my dad, or my mom since being removed from their home because running from my emotions was so much easier.  But I knew I had too.

"Lex...baby I'll be there the entire time."

Drawing my strength from Michael I breathed in deeply and closed my eyes.


"Okay."

1 Hour Later
Charity Event stop before the prison

"How's everyone doin tonight?"

Shifting in my seat, I smiled and glanced around at the large crowd of children surrounded by parents, friends, brothers, sisters, guardians and I felt a surge of pride seeing the smiles on their faces.

He had done this.  He had made this happen for them.

Turning back towards the stage, Michael's mocha brown eyes twinkled happily as he spun around and lowered his head to begin the first song.

Even with the mess Michael and I had been through the last few years...the experiences we had shared didn't even compare to the pain, the heartache the families in the room had seen.

It was a good reminder before going to the prison. 

My heart swelling with pride, I turned my head and saw a little girl wrapped up in her moms arms.  Beaming brilliantly, the little girls light green eyes sparkled against the pale complexion and bright pink bandana covering her head.

So frail and thin, her arms looked like twigs beneath her light yellow shirt and bright pink tutu.  I studied her, trying to picture the little girl with light blonde curls trailing down her back and a rosy hue to her cheeks. But i couldn't.  The only glow was in her eyes when she was looking at Michael.

I hope he realized the impact he was making.

Glancing back towards the stage, I glanced up at Michael and smiled seeing him crouched at the edge of the stage holding a child's hand.

Moments like this made me realize how great of a father Michael would make someday, and how much I wanted to make him one.  With Michael, I wasn't attracted to the power, the wealth, the fame.  The Michael that poured himself into the needs of others...that's the guy I was crazy about.

Although...

I also didn't mind the fact that he was crazy gorgeous.

Even in his stage costume from the last tour, Michael looked gorgeous performing and i soaked him in, admiring the thick belt around his narrow hips and the dark curls brushing his shoulders.

"Go girl!"

Lord have mercy.  Way to ruin a moment.

Natalie pranced onstage, the music cued moments ago for The Way You Make Me Feel and I folded my arms across my chest and bore holes into her head.


Her efforts to steal Michael had been a heck of a lot worse since I had been back in the picture.  And let me tell you, it was getting old.

Fast.


Sighing in resignation, I slipped my foot back into my sandal and closed my eyes until the music ended.  Forcing my thoughts to drift I let my thoughts move to Janet.  Wondering if she'd talked to the lawyer I mentally reminded myself to call her once we got out of here.

"Excuse me...Lexi?"

An urgent forceful whisper pulled me out of my thoughts.  Blinking, I let my eyes come into focus and was surprised when i saw who was speaking.


"...Chris?"

"We need to talk."

  Robert.

He had to be lying.

Shaking my head  I bit my lip and shifted against the door.

On our way to the prison, my conversation with Chris drifted through my mind and I replayed everything for the hundredth time since I had left him.

"This guy....this guy their accusing isn't it.  I know what's going on and I know we've had our differences...but be careful.  Someone out there wants you gone."

Inwardly, I warred within myself whether I believed him or not. What reason would he have for giving me a warning even if something was going on?

Sighing, my soft curls slipped through my fingers as I twirled my hair nervously and turned to look at Michael.

Sitting in the limo next to Frank, both of their heads were bent over a clipboard working on the next few weeks of Michael's schedule.  Forehead crinkled and nodding his head, Michael was completely distracted.  I watched him, shifting his leg antsily against the cool black leather seat and felt a deep sense of foreboding in my stomach imaging how a conversation with Michael and Frank would go if I told them about my conversation.

That...could NOT happen unless I was sure.

Frustrated I let out a sharp gust of air and turned my head back towards the window.  The gleaming new buildings and bustling sidewalks had disappeared, and instead I nervously soaked in the large brick penitentiary with it's razor topped fencing, short clipped grass, and armed guard towers.


Absently I wondered if my dad had ended up in prison.  With his anger issues it wouldn't be surprising.

My arms tense, I felt my jaw quiver and my silver charm bracelet jingled against my wrist creating a small noise as I clasped my arms in front of me nervously.

"Lex...baby you okay?"

Warm arms encircled me, and I felt Michael's curls hit against my cheek as he slid up beside me and wrapped his arms around my body.

Not saying anything I closed my eyes and leaned back.  Michael's arms tightened, and I felt him press a kiss to the back of my head as we stared wordlessly ahead, trying to absorb the coming moments.

"I'll be right here Lexi"  Michael whispered reassuringly, giving me another tight squeeze.  "Right here."

________________________________________________________________________

"What do you possibly want?"

The words were spat fiercly from his nasty expression, and I stared nervously at Robert's bright orange jumper as the questions that had been plaguing me stumbled clumsily from my lips.

"I guess...I just don't understand" I started slowly, biting the inside of my cheek.  Michael's hand squeezed mine from under the table and, breathing a deep sigh, I felt a small rush of courage from Michael's courage and looked up, into the cold green eyes in front of me.

"I don't even know you..."

"Of course it doesn't make sense. That's because I didn't do anything to you genius."  Snarling, Robert let out a loud strangled cough and I shivered.

"Didn't do anything to her?"

Michael's voice loud, quickly I glanced over to see the fury etched into his normally placid features.  Michael's face flushed, his eyes burned hatred staring ahead and I placed my hand on his arm, trying to calm him so we could get more answers.

"And if you talk to her like that again I swear to God I'll"

My eyebrows raised, I realized Michael was about four seconds away from attempting to bust through the glass separating us and pounding Robert mercilessly on the other end.

Which...would not be good.

"Michael..."

My voice soft, I waited a moment until Michael looked at me and motion with my eyes for him to sit back and be patient for me.

Michael picked up on my request, and shooting another glare glanced back to Robert settled in his seat, pulling my own closer to his in the process.

"If you weren't some stupid pop stars slut I wouldn't be in here."

Placing a hand on Michael's chest, I felt the rapid beat of his heart under his stage costume as I moved my hand up to his chest to remain calm.

Michael growled, mumbling several threats under his breath, and I took a deep breath, Robert's tone slowly turning my fear into my own anger.

"Listen." I started firmly, leveling my gaze at his direction.  "You're the one that was caught with the photographs....the letters....the evidence supporting that you had been trying to crack my witness protection profile."

"I didn't put any of that there!"  Jerking up from the table, Robert's chains jingled loudly from his shackles as he jumped towards the glass,screaming.

"Listen up you stupid, spoiled bitch! I did NOT DO THIS! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL SOMEONE?! WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE...SO HELP ME  GOD I AM GOING TO FIND YOU...RAPE YOU...AND THEN MURDER YOU YOU STUPID LIFE RUINING WHORE"

In one fluid moment Michael's arm tightened around mine, and stunned Michael guided me up, threatened Robert beyond an inch of his life, and spun around towards the door.

"We are out of here Lex.  Now."

Closing my eyes, my thoughts consumed me as Michael led me outside.  I wasn't sure which one I was more afraid of as Michael led me outside towards the limo.

Robert's cold dark looks were frightening...but even through the threats it felt like there was some degree of honesty to his words.

His chilling words.  And if that were true.

Someone else was still out there. Waiting.  

________________________________________________________________________

"CHRIS said WHAT? Lexi you HAVE TO TELL SOMEONE"

Brooke's voice squealed loudly over the phone, and my eyes widening I glanced towards the adjoining bathroom door in our bedroom, praying that Michael was still in the shower and hadn't overhead our conversation.

"Brooke"  I admonished furiously, leaning up to look into the bathroom. "You've got to keep this quiet until I KNOW something.  I can't tell Janet because she'll freak and tell Michael...and Frank isn't an option.  I just need someone to help me piece this together."

"Lexi if you THINK FOR A SECOND I'm not going to tell someone your insane!"

Brooke's voice raising an octave, I groaned, trying to figure a way out of this. I had taken an extremely large gamble telling Brooke...but I was so overwhelmed I had no one else to turn to.  Somehow I had to keep this quiet and figure out if there was any real threat before I worried everyone.  But in order to do that I needed help.

If only I could figure out a way...

"Listen. Brooke if you tell your just going to scare someone...and I'll refuse protection.  I-I don't really want to go back.  Michael can't enter witness protection with me because he's globally known...and telling him would separate us...I just..please I need some time.  If there is a threat I'll go.  But if not..."

A large resigned sigh proceeded a long silence, and biting my lip I closed my eyes and leaned back, running my hand over my celery green pajamas.

"Fine." She finally conceded.  "But Lexi...If something even small happens I WILL do something about this."

"Thank you..." I whispered, my throat raspy from emotion.

Only time would tell what was going to happen.  But at least I didn't have to worry about everyone freaking out.

Well...at least for now.

Moving my hips back and forth I spun, smacking my leg into the coffee table.

"Lex? What are you LISTENING too?"

My leg stinging, I sucked in a breath and opened my eyes to see Frank in front of me in a pair of dark denim jeans, a white tank, and a thick black leather coat.  Taking his sunglasses off and sticking them in his back pocket, Frank cocked his head to the side and raised an eyebrow.  Lightly shoving him, I leaned down and felt my ponytail bob against my light pink sweatshirt.   Brushing my fingers against the place I'd bumped, I ran my fingers along my cool black tights and peaked up.

"You know you love it" I teased, giving him a small wink.   

"Right."

"Dance with me"

"What?"

Giggling, I shot up and grabbed Frank's hands.

It had been a few days since I had visited the prison and I had been shaken up for awhile.  Deciding today i was going to force myself to try and not think about it I had been dancing to the radio for the last half hour while Michael was out.

Frank's arms wiggled underneath my grasp, and throwing my head back in laughter I stepped up to him and quickly wrapped my arms around his waist.

"Dance" I commanded again, giving a quick jerk to the left.

"Lexi, I'm going to have you committed."

Giving him a cheeky grin I winked and bobbed my head wildly.  

"Come on Frank.  Where's  your inner child?"

"Gone."

Laughing, I puckered my nose and bobbed my body up and down.


"Come on it's not going to kill you" I breathed, giggling, and pressing my head up against his.

"Too late.  Not ever going to happen."

Rolling my eyes I lightly shoved him.

"Hey!"

Quickly taking advantage of him being off balance, I moved forward and placed my hands on his hips.

"You have to MOVE these"

"Lexi are you seriously-"

"Ooooh.  Yes.  I am seriously."

Forcing his hips in motion, Frank begrudgingly moved his hips and slipped his arms around my waist.

"And you...are always the way you are...and you always know the way I am.   ....This kiss is something I can't resist"

The chorus blared, and purposefully letting out a loud off key rendition of the song I bounced wildly, finally pulling a grin from Frank after a few moments.

"You really are crazy.  You know that right?"

Not giving him an answer, I locked my arms around his waist and spun us around.

"Dear God.  I think i'm going to lose my breakfast."

Grinning cheekily I grinned wildly and belted the song out louder.

"Ugh. LEXI!"

Curtains billowed from the windows, and throwing my head over my shoulder I grinned seeing the gardner outside, peering in the window in bewilderment.  Shooting him a small wink I giggled and looked forward towards Frank.

"You realize he's going to sue right?"

"For what?"

"Emotional harm."

Swaying my hips, I shoved Frank's chest lightly and stuck out my tongue playfully.

"You know it isn't as bad as you thought it would be."

Frank snorted and when the song ended both of us plopped down on the couch exhausted.

"Your going to be the death of me."

Giving him a small wink i reached down and grabbed my water bottle.

"Hello? ...Not now."

Seeing that Frank had answered his cell phone curiously I tilted my head and leaned closer to the phone.

....Janet?

Raising my eyebrows, I wondered what I had missed.

Why would Janet be calling FRANK?

"Frank..." I whispered, poking him in the stomach.  "What's going on?"

"Uhhuh....okay bye."

Quickly shutting his cell phone, Frank glanced over at me and shoved his phone back in his pocket.

"Nothing...."  Frank coughed awkwardly and reached up, tugging on his jacket collar.  "Let's just drop it okay?"

Questions running through my mind, I bit the inside of my lip and stared at him.

"But..."

"But nothing.  Let's move on."

"I just want to know-"

"Lex if you leave this alone I'll do anything you want."

Was it worth it? Possibly. I'd figure out what was going on later.

"...In that case."

Quickly pulling back from his chest, I got into a sitting position and used his chest as a support to get up.

"Let's dance!"

"Your impossible."

"Impossible not to love."

Two Days Later
Neverland

"Lexi!!!!"

Michael's voice drifted across the hall from the bathroom, and a small creak erupted from the mahogany drawer I was opening.

"Lexi! Have you seen my shoes? Please tell me you aren't hiding my stuff again."

Shaking my head no, I dropped the socks I had pulled out to rearrange and rolled my eyes, inwardly smacking myself when I realized he couldn't see me.

Smooth Lex.

"Nope! Not this time sorry."

Michael's frustrated grumbles drifted back in response, and I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from giggling at his chronic disorganization.

He had been losing things WAY before I had started playing that game. Knowing him he would end up finding them shoved under the couch.

"Baby have you tried under the couch?"

More grumbles.  A few more moments passed and I heard a loud crash.

"Found them!"

Letting out an amused sigh, I smiled and glanced up in the large silver mirror overlooking the dresser.  Taking in my appearance I cringed.

Definetly needed some work.

   Glancing back towards the windows, large sheer lace curtains billowed cool air indoors and the smell of mountain air wafted inside creating a slight flutter on the plush celery colored downy comforter.  Birds chirping in the distance, beams of light danced against the silver fixtures on the lamp, the picture frames, and created a prism of colors along the crystal drop light fixture overhanging the bed.


"Lex?"

I turned around. Wearing a black fedora, Michael wore a crisp apple red button up shirt, black suspenders, and dress slacks.  Staring at me from the doorway Michael shot a quick look at this cell phone and nodded towards the staircase.

"I'm going to head out now, call me if you need anything okay?"

Nodding my head, Michael came at me like a whirlwind, pecked me on the lips, and spun around to leave.

"Hey!"

Stopping at the doorway, Michael spun around again and gave me a panicked look.

"Lex I got to go."

I folded my arms across my chest and waited.

"I love you."

Tapping his foot impatiently, I rolled my eyes and gave him a wry grin as he smirked cheekily, gave me a small wink, and spun back around to race out the door.

"See you tonight for dinner!"

Letting out a small frustrated sigh, Michael's absence was poignantly felt as I glanced around the room, silently debating what I was going to do today.

Like almost every other day. At least he'd come with me to the jail the other day.

Trying to figure out what to do today, I realized in frustration i didn't have a lot of options.  Janet and Nahla out of town, Frank was on duty and Brooke had become Michael's new stylist so she was out of the question as well.

Unless.. I headed down to the set.

No.  I'd think of something else.  Maybe i'd work on a bit of my coursework.  Taking my classes online I was only a few courses short of graduating.

Shrugging my shoulders, I gave the room one final look and headed out towards the hallway.

The floorboards creaked, and the wood felt cool against my bare feet as I moved down the hallway towards the stairwell.  Wrapping my arms around my chest I glanced at the walls and took in the various pictures as I passed them.

Pictures of Michael and I covering the walls, my loneliness grew as I passed our smiling faces and relived the memories each one capture.

One in particular caught my attention down at the very end of the hall and I stopped, running my fingers along the glass.  On the beach, Michael had me hoisted over his shoulder in the photograph and I was screaming, strands of sandy hair covering my eyes.

Giggling, I remembered the moment that Frank shot the photo.

Moments after he had tossed the camera on the beach and had joined Michael into tossing me in a large sand hole.

Maybe we could do that again sometime soon.

Releasing a sigh I resigned myself to a boring morning of coursework and headed downstairs and into Michael's office.  Walking purposefully towards the desktop I flopped down in Michael's leather swivel chair and jiggled the mouse to turn it on. 

Drumming my fingers on the desk, I squished my toes in the lush red carpet and shivered from the chill. The computer hummed and after a few clicks I was at the home screen.

I probably needed to grab a pen and write down my assignments for a reference.

Glancing down, I gave the top drawer a tug and frowned when I realized it was locked.

Well, that was weird.


Letting out a small sigh I bit my lip, and tried to think of where Michael would keep a key.  Turning towards the computer, I picked things up and checked underneath them, until finally I found a small gold key attached to the bottom of a paperweight.

Bingo.

Spinning back towards the drawers I worked the key in, and let out a small shriek of excitement when the key turned, and the door slid open with ease.

Rummaging through Michael's files, I came across a wad of pictures and I smiled, wondering why Michael hadn't mentioned the photos from our last trip had been developed.

Sticking the key on the desk, I slid my finger under the envelope and pulled the pictures out.
 
Wait, what was this? And why would he have them?


Curiously I flipped through a small stack of baby photos.  The baby, a complete mystery to me, stared back with dark brown eyes and thick curls.  Furrowing my brow, I flipped the photos over but to my disappointment saw that they were blank on the back.

Had someone we knew recently had a baby?

My assignments momentarily forgotten, Sitting back in my chair I bit the inside of my cheek and tried to think of any of our friends or family that had recently had a child.  Not thinking of anyone I shrugged and slipped the photos back in the envelope.  Setting them back where I found them I rummaged some more until I finally found a pen.

Making a mental note to ask Michael about the pictures later i shoved them back in the drawer and locked it.  Putting the key back where I found it I was just about to get back on the computer when my phone buzzed.  Glancing down I saw that it was a text from Brooke.

Lunch?

Deciding i'd work on my coursework later I responded with a yes and both of us decided to meet over at the shoot and head to a resturant nearby.  Hopping out of the chair I raced down the hallway to find something to wear and checked my watch to see that I only had about an hour and a half to get ready. 

I was going to have to hustle.  Especially since I hadn't had a shower yet.

*knock knock knock*

Letting out an exasperated sigh, my silver charm bracelet jingled against my skin as I lifted my arms up to move my hair behind my shoulders.

Where was he?

Curiously I knocked again, and then glanced down both ends of the hallway. Not seeing anything or anyone coming down from either end and after being told he was here by his assistant, I pursed my lips together in frustration and tapped my silver pumps quickly against the light green tile.

"Michael where are you?" I whispered under my breath, rolling my eyes to the ceiling.

Arriving at the shoot a few minutes early I had decided to pop in and say hello to Michael before heading over and meeting up with Brooke.

Deciding to try one more time I knocked and pressed my ear against the door to see if I heard any movement.


"Shhh, she'll hear you."

She'll what?? Who was in there?

My eyebrows shot up, and quickly I jerked my head back away from the door, dumbfounded.

What was that supposed to mean?


Tapping my foot impatiently, tendrils of hair fell back over my eyes as I struggled with my skinny jean capris.  Finally getting the phone to budge I flipped it open and shot Brooke a quick text that i'd be a few minutes longer.  That done, i dialed Michael's number to see if he'd pick up.

"Thriller......thrilllller nights."

Well, he was definetly in there.

Rolling my eyes, I grinned hearing the ringtone to Michael's cell phone going off.

Seriously, who used their own song for a ringtone?

"...Hello?"

"Michael?"

Shooting my gaze to the door, I listened as some very loud shuffling happened on the other end and I shifted the cell phone to my ear.

"Hey, what's going on?" I blew out a frustrated breath and bit my lip.  "I'm here at your dressing room and..."

"Lexi" Michael interrupted.  "I'll meet you in the lobby in fifteen okay?"

Quickly being cut off, I opened my mouth to reply when I heard a click and a dial tone.  Giving the door another cursory glance I shrugged and stuck my phone back in my purse.

This...was weird. 

Forcing myself to jump to conclusions, I sent Brooke another text asking for a rain check and decided to meet Michael in the lobby and see if he offered an explanation.

Straightening my shouldes, i headed to the hallway.

________________________________________________________________________

Two hours later

"Aunnnnnnt Lele!!!!"

My heart leaping in my chest, I grinned seeing my beautiful niece racing down the ramp from the restaurant and bent down to swoop her up into my arms.

"Hey gorgeous."

Planting a kiss on her cheek, sticky fingers dug into my hair and Nahla's legs wrapped tightly around my torso as I spotted Janet making her way from inside.  Feeling Michael's hand slide against the small of my back, I glanced up at him and smiled tenatively.

"Thanks for waiting for me so long Lex."

"No problem."

Except that you hadn't offered an explanation.

Michael's fingers trailed from my back to my waist, and I felt him tug me gently against me as he planted a kiss on my head.

"EWW Uncle Mike that's so GROSS."
"Gross is it?"

Michael was acting like nothing had happened.  Dying to ask him what was going on, up until now I had resisted because I was trying to trust him enough to believe he had a legitimite reason for everything that had happened this morning..including the photographs.  Deciding to call up Janet and Nahla and ask them if they wanted to meet us for lunch Michael had returned to the shoot until he was able to leave and we had headed over to the restaurant together.

Hopefully he'd tell me what was going on on his own. Until then I was going to try to force it from my mind and move on.

 Glancing over at Michael I noticed a couple of tendrils of hair peaking out from his cap and I reached up to tuck them underneath as Michael leaned forward to pester his niece.

"I'll show you, ya little runt."

The wails of sirens and the honking of impatient taxis blended with the ensuing  giggles as Michael leaned in to tickle her with his free hand.

"Leave it to Uncle Mike to get her riled up an hour or so before naptime."

Michael glanced up at his sister and grinned.  "Anytime."

Janet rolled her eyes and turned to look at me.

"How was your trip this morning?"

Janet grimaced. "Typical."


Concerned, I glanced over at Nahla and whispered.  "We'll talk later, ok?"

The lines of tension in Janet's face relaxed and she smiled softly. "Okay."

"Now.  Who's going to lead us into the restaurant to feed this little monster in my arms?"

Janet chuckled, and Michael leaned in and brushed a kiss against her cheek before ushering us forward.

"So Michael...what did you do today?"

Janet's question was harmless enough, but my heart pounded in my chest remembering the odd situation I had found him in earlier this morning.  Glancing at Michael out of the corner of my eye, I waited for his response as we moved towards the restaurant entryway.

"Uhh..."  Michael's eyes grew serious, and reaching up to rub the back of his neck Michael shifted uncomfortably.

"Business stuff. You know."

A chill made me clasp my jacket tighter to my body.  Looking over at Janet, I watched her tap her dark brown boots against the sidewalk in an effort to get some mud off her shoes and I admired the light brown highlights she had placed in her hair.

"Your hair looks beautiful." I smiled, forcing myself to change the topic.

"Thanks Lex."

A large clatter erupted from the other end of the doorway as Michael stepped forward to let us in.  Peaking inside for the noise I soaked up the environment, and silently wondered if the food would be as good as the atmosphere.

Everything was perfect.  Well, would be perfect if I could get Michael to talk about what was going on.

The small formal dining room decorated in light blues and golds, I felt the warmth of the large brick fireplace near the entryway as soon as we walked in.  Glancing about the room I inhaled the scent of bread baking.

"Where did you hear of this place?"

Turning slightly on my heel, I looked over at Michael curiously and frowned when I saw that he had pulled his phone out of his jacket and was texting furiously.  Tilting my head slightly, curiosity got the best of me and I leaned forward slightly to peak over at his phone.

"Who is it?"

"Whoah!"

Michael jumped back, startled.  Swallowing a lump in his throat Michael's eyes were wide as he quickly moved his phone out of my reach and jerked it in his pocket. 

"Uhh, Lexi....i'll be right back okay?"

Michael spun around on his heel, and my mouth opened slightly in surprise as he slipped through the front door and pulled his cell phone out of his pocket.

"What has gotten into him?"

Janet's question only increased my frustration.  Shrugging my shoulders helplessly I watched him go. 

"I don't know...."     

"Michael!"

Spinning around wildly in the office chair, sunlight beamed in the large bay windows outlooking Neverland's lush gardens.  Feeling the warmth on my neck and against my cheeks as I spun, I curled my toes soaking in the warmth.

"Michael!"  More silence.

Where was he?

Boredom, and a smidge of curiosity aroused in the pit of my stomach hearing my call echo into a silent hallway.

 Questions that had recently formulated in my head, like Michael's many abrupt disappearances, invaded my mind and quickly I dropped my foot to the ground, abruptly halting the chair in front of the desk and jarring my thoughts.

I wasn't going to think about this again.  Nothing was going on.  Michael would talk to me about what was going on when the time was right.

Refusing to glance in the doorway to see if Michael was coming for the umpteenth time, I tried to force the irritation from my mind and placed an elbow against the cool desk top glass. 

Glancing towards Michael's computer, I uncrossed my legs and slipped my feet back into my gold coach sandals as I flipped the on switch, deciding to check my e-mail.

Waiting for the desktop to load, I drummed my fingers against the mahogany desktop.  Seeing the screen turn on and load I felt the silver charm bracelet clink against the edge of the keyboard. Mindlessly I typed in the password and waited for the home screen to appear.

Evidence

A file folder at the bottom of the screen caught my attention as soon as the computer loaded.  My eyes wide, I wondered to myself why Michael would have a folder marked evidence and I clicked on it.  Disappointed, my confusion deepened realizing that the contents had been deleted.


..what was going on?!

Engrossed in my curiosity, I pulled open the search bar and typed in random key words looking for anything related to all of the puzzle pieces floating in my head.

"Lexi, what are you doing?"

Michael's voice drifted from the doorway.  Startled, I closed out of the search and glanced up to see Michael staring at me with a frown on his face.  Glancing from him to the computer, I gave him a small smile and nudged my head towards the monitor.

"Just...getting ready to check e-mail."

Michael's eyes flickered, something I couldn't identify.  Wordlessly Michael moved behind me.

"Sorry that took so long.." He smiled tightly, glancing furtively at the screen.    Leaning down he brushed a kiss against my temple and looked over my shoulder, to the monitor.

"Is that all you've done? Check e-mails?"

Wondering if his strange behavior was related to the deleted document, and what I overheard a few days ago, I gave a small cautious nod and glanced up at him, feeling the cotton of his t-shirt slide up against my neck.

"Well I haven't checked them yet...why?"

Michael studied me for a moment, unsure.    After a few moments I felt my chair pull backward slightly as he wrapped his arms around my neck.

"Just wondering if you'd won any mind blowing sweepstakes, or become the heir to any billion dollar estates upon your delivery of a checking account number to an offshore account...you know, normal stuff."

Giving him an awkward smile, I tried to shake the feeling something was off and winked.

"Don't I always?"

Michael's arms released the chair, and I felt him twirl me around to face him before he reached down, grabbed me from the chair, and took me in his arms.

"What exactly are you doing?"

Michael leaned down, kissed me on the nose, and wrapping his arms around my waist pulled me to my feet.

"We are going to make up for lost time.."

Cocking an eyebrow I saw the unmistakable longing in Michael's eyes and I felt the teasing remarks I had prepared to retort die on my lips as he leaned in, pressing a tender kiss to my lips.


"I think...I'm okay with that" I murmured, hearing his heartbeat beneath the white shirt.

Giving me another kiss, Michael's warmth breath caressed my cheek and I sighed, glad for a moment of the intimacy we had been sorely lacking of late.

Michael's curls danced against my forehead, and brushing them away I returned his kisses.

"You'll be more than okay with it."

Hearing the underlying message in his words, I shivered and wrapped my arms around his neck, bringing him closer.

"You think so?" I shuddered, desire and longing etched in my soft whisper.

"Mmm."
________________________________________________________________________

"Is this what you deem a romantic night?"

My eyes twinkling with laughter, I took in Michael on the other side of the bedroom poised with a dark blue water gun.  Edging closer, his eyes gleamed mysteriously as he rushed torward me, around the bed.

Letting out a small scream, I felt the cool water make contact with my neck and drip steadily down my chest.

"Michael!" I squealed, jumping onto the bed and burrowing myself under the covers.

Michael's giggles followed me, and I kicked wildly dodging his attempts to pull me out as he collapsed on the bed beside me, grabbing at my ankles.

"What can I say...I'm an out of the box thinker."

Rolling my eyes playfully, I felt the silky sheets pulling against my fist as Michael wrestled with me to get me to come out.

"You can run but you can't hide" He sung off key, cackling at the clever retort as he tried to unburrow me from my hiding place.  "Oh wait....you can't run either can you?"

"Not since you threw me on the bed earlier on FALSE PRETENSES and ATTACKED ME WITH A WATER GUN! MY PANTS ARE STUCK TO MY LEGS AND ITS IMPOSSIBLE TO RUN!"

Michael cocked an eyebrow, pointed his water gun at my chest, and fired.

Letting out a small scream, I felt Michael's arms snake around my waist and I twisted my body abruptly, managing to get out of his grip and to the edge of the bed.

"Hey!"

Michael's indigant cries rang from the room as I raced out the doorway in my light pink pajama shorts, and a yellow top.  Blonde hair flew wildly around my shoulders as I pounded quickly down the stairs towards the entryway.

"Ahaha!"

Grabbing me at the edge of the stairs, I felt Michael's arms swoop around me as I raised my arms above my head, stumbling and sending us backwards, down the stairs in a mess of legs and arms.

"Lexi! Watch out"

Instantly I felt Michael's arms wrap around me tightly and felt his head cover my own protectively as we bounced, giggling down the flight of stairs to the connecting platform.

"See!" Michael chuckled when we came to a stop, gasping for breath above me with a deviloush glint in his eyes.  "None of this would have happened if you'd have just sat still."

Shooting him a mock angry glare, I wiped my hair from my face and huffed, putting my arms on my hips.

"Are you KIDDING me?"

Giggling, Michael's eyes roamed my body, checking for bruises and I sat up underneath him, bringing my head just below his.

"I would never" Michael finished in a teasing sing song, after seeing that I was fine.

"Mmhmm"

Shaking my head in mock disbelief, I pushed lightly on his chest and got to my feet.

"Your something else."

"You know you love it."

Ignoring Michael's retort, I stuck my tongue out at him and spun around to head towards the kitchen.

"Did you stick your tongue out at ME?! ME?! Oh no you didn't!"

Michael's normally high voice rose an octave as he playfully flipped his hips back and forth using a mock feminine voice. Glancing back and seeing his display, a large snort erupted from my nose and I propelled forward, sliding against the floor.

"Michael Stop!"

More giggles ensued from both from us, and Michael continued his mock feminine voice while in pursuit from one room to the next, sliding doggedly behind me.

"Lexi Grace Adams..." He breathed, letting out a high pitched squeal.

Grabbing onto the kitchen doorframe, I spun on my heels and propelled forward into the kitchen towards the island in the middle of the room.

"Where you going to go now?"

Michael's voice resumed it's normal pitch, and realizing he was right and I had nowhere to go, I let out a squeal, cringed, and slid my body onto the top of the island.

"What on earth are you doing?"

Glancing around wildly, my inability to admit defeat stubbornly kept me perched underneath the dangling stainless steel pots and pans above as I slid forward, clutching the other side of the island and sliding to the edge in an attempt to spin right side up and hop down onto the floor.

"Lex. Your going to kill yourself" Michael chuckled between pants, his cologne filling my senses as he closed in behind me and stopped on the other end.

Letting out a small grunt my shirt rode up above my naval as I slid, spun, and hopped off in one fluid movement.  Glancing up quickly, I peaked over at Michael and gave him a victorious smirk.

"What was that?"  Michael's eyebrows rose watching me incredulously.  Letting out another small chuckle Michael leaned forward and rested his chest against the edge of the granite.

"What can I say.  I'm BAD."
"Are you serious?"  Michael chuckled, rolling his eyes.  "Please don't star"

"Hey....if your going to start with me just BEAT IT.  I'm tired of being a victim of hate."

"Lexi Grace."

Michael's eyes gleamed challengingly, and backing up my back rested against the sink as I continued, grinning cheekily.

"Aww come on Michael.  Don't stop the boogie!"

"Lexi... "  Michael's eyes glittered as he straightened from the counter, and I took a step to the left as he rounded the corner.  "First off, it's don't BLAME the boogie, and-"

"You know I'm a thriller."

Rolling his eyes, Michael pressed his lips together trying not to laugh and took a step closer.

"Your butt is mine! Going to take you right!"

"Did you run out of puns? Now your going to threaten me with my own lyrics?"

Biting the inside of my cheek, I stepped forward quickly, wagged a finger in front of his face, and continued mock singing.

"Just show your faceeeeee, in broad daylight"

"Lexi....that doesn't even fit"

"I'm telling you............how I feeeeeeel."

"It's ON how I feel" Michael corrected, a small laugh escaping his lips.  "Do you even LISTEN to my music? What, do you stick head phones in during the concerts or something?"

"Gonna hurt your mind....don't shoot to kill!"  Shrugging my shoulders violently, I let out a HEE HEE and spun around in an epically bad attempt to mimic some of his choreography.

"Because I'm BAD, I'm BAD, Come on!"

"Seriously.  Where is my camera phone when I need it?"

Widlly I stumbled through some of his dance moves, and Michael dissolved into hysterical laughter in front of me.

"I'm BAAAAD"

"Your b-b-b-bad a-lright" Michael stuttered between laughs, placing his hand on his stomache.

Ignoring his playful remarks, I slid my socks against the wood floor in an attempted moonwalk, and letting out a small shriek I felt arms swoop me up.

"Hey!" I giggled, wrapping my arms around his neck.  "If you don't like what I'm sayin.....then won't you slap my face!"

Grinning cheekily, Michael bounced me up in the air and smacked my rear."

"Michael!"

"What can I say baby.  You've been struck by a smooth criminal."

A Week Later

The emerald green coastline glittered in the warm California sun.  Feeling the heat cascade against my body I soaked up the warmth and felt the soft cotton of my light pink towel underneath my fingertips as I smoothed it out against the soft sand.

It was a beautiful day.  This was just what I needed to clear my head.

The roar of crystal blue waves roared behind me and the smell of salt water was potent in the air as I closed my eyes, the memory of the pink and red flowers littering the rolling expanse of mountains in front of me still ever present in my mind.

Taking full advantage of the anonymity my large Coach sunglasses and floppy straw hat provided me I stretched my arms above my head and reached down to readjust the light green straps of my bikini.  Breathing in a deep breath my shoulders relaxed and I closed my eyes inhaling the scent of the coastline.

“OH MY GOSH, IS THAT MICHAEL JACKSON’S GIRLFRIEND?”

So much for relaxation.

Apprehension stirred in my chest.  For three reasons.

One, my face was about to be plastered all over the internet.

Two, my security just became severely compromised.

And three.  When Michael and Frank found out I had ditched security and come alone I was dead.  So very dead.

Sand slipped through my fingers and I jerked up off my towel.  Keeping my eyes towards the ground the leather straps of my sandals tangled between my toes as I shoved them onto my feet and reached down, strands of blonde hair brushing against my back as I tossed my large silver tote over my shoulder and pulled at the end of my beach towel to hoist it over my shoulder.

“OMG IT IS!”

The voices looming closer I felt my chest tighten and my throat close up as I started for the road in a sprint, my hands desperately trying to keep my hat from flying off my head as I juggled my belongings.

“What?! She’s not Lexi.”

A disappointed groan echoed behind me and bewildered I slowed down.  The sunlight beaming brightly into my eyes made it difficult to see but sure enough about two hundred yards ahead of me a small crowed was dispersing, revealing a girl that sure enough looked almost identical to me.

Wait a minute….wasn’t that?

Long blonde hair streamed down her sun kissed shoulders and her toned arms reached up, brushing a stray hair from her eyes as she shrugged her shoulders lightly, an aggravated look plastered on her face.

I slid my sunglasses down slightly and blinked, startled.

Natalie?

Dressed very similarly to what I wore a few weeks ago when Michael and I were spotted on the beach Natalie’s tone legs peaked out from a light blue poncho and wore a pair of hoops nearly identical to the set Michael had given me for Christmas two years past.  Glancing quizzically at the blonde highlights in her hair matching my own and the sunglasses perched on her head that from a distance looked eerily familiar, I felt a ping in the put of my stomach and blinked rapidly, shaking off the feeling that something was off.

Maybe it was a coincidence…maybe I was just paranoid because of the things Chris had said to me last month.

Shrugging my shoulders lightly, I saw Natalie’s eyes flicker and her attention shift to me as I turned on my heel and headed towards the parking area I had parked earlier.


Paranoid or not, my afternoon at the beach was pretty much ruined.  Deciding to make the best of the day I pulled my cell phone out of my purse and called Janet.

“Hello?”

“Hey what's up.”

________________________________________________________________________

“Yeah…that sounds about right.”

Janet and I had talked all the way home.  Shifting my phone to my other shoulder, I jiggled my keys until I found the one for the front entryway and jiggled the lock until I heard a click.

“So are they kicking her out of the class now?”

“What do you think Lex?”  Janet replied, letting out an aggravated huff.  “I mean it’s not everyday they have one of the kids kicked in the abdomen during class intentionally.”

Rolling my eyes at Nahla’s antics I let the front door close behind me and I slipped off my sandals and tossed my purse in the floor.

“She…is definitely your daughter.”

“What’s that supposed to mean!”

Grinning I dropped my purse on the end table next to the coat rack and placed the book Frank had given me at lunch beside it as I grabbed at the stack of mail the house keeper had arranged on the table and tucked it under my arm.

“Nothing.”

“Uhhuh”

Sunlight cascaded in the large room and I headed towards the staircase running my hand along the cool banister.

“Just a sec Janet.   Michael?”

Reaching the top of the staircase I let out a disappointed sigh seeing the lights off on the second floor.

Must still be in meetings.  It was a long shot he had gotten back before me anyway since my morning had been cut short.

Walking straight to our bedroom I flipped on the lights and crashed into the soft downy comforter on our bed.

“Sorry Janet…go on.”

Closing my eyes I tossed my mail next to me and listened to Janet let off some steam.

“And THEN when I asked her about it she- Ugh hey Lex it’s the dead beat dad.  Can I call you back in a bit.”

Inwardly groaning at the mention of Tony I sucked back a sarcastic retort about him.

“Sure Janet I’ll call you later.”

Hearing her click over to the other line, my pink acrylic nails clicked against the cell phone buttons as I closed out the conversation and tossed it down beside me.

Well…now what.

Deciding to flip through the stack of mail I reached over beside me and grabbed the stack.

“Junk….” I tossed the first envelope on the floor.  “Junk, junk, junk, hmm…what’s this?”

Bewildered, a light blue envelope caught my eye and silently I wondered if the person sorting the mail had accidentally slipped one of Michael’s fan letters into the pile.

“Guess there’s only one way to find out.”

Shrugging my shoulders I placed the other envelopes down next to me and slipped my finger underneath the top of the envelope.

I slid out a piece of paper and it crinkled as I opened it up, exposing a hand written letter.

“Michael…enough is enough.”

Cocking an eyebrow, I bit the side of my lip and read on.

“Your son deserves to know his dad.   Either you tell someone by the 10th or I will.”

His SON?

Quickly I flashed back to the photo I had found in Michael’s desk.  My heart pounding the letter slipped from my fingers.  Everything in me felt numb.

No…no it couldn’t be.

My throat closing up, I felt my body tremble and I closed my eyes desperately trying to find a reason that Michael would have kept something like this from me.

He must have…maybe he….

Tears cascaded down my cheeks. 

 Unable to find a reason for him not telling me I struggled to cope with the gravity of what I had just read.

Was this what he had been hiding? The reason he had been gone even more than usual as of late?

“I need to see him”

The words, barely above a whisper, propelled me into motion and without conscious thought I gathered my stuff together and shot towards the door.

“It’s going to be okay…”  Breathing deeply I repeated the others to myself like a mantra. 

“Okay.”

Lexi Michael at the arena
Frank

"Would someone like to tell me what is going ON around here?"

Furious I stormed into the double doors of the arena Michael was supposed to be at, getting ready for a benefit concert. After a few hours of moping around the house about my discovery, I had hopped in a car and driven over here to confront him. 

Beyond furious, my eyes scanned the large room.  Mostly empty, the large arena echoed with the sounds from the stage and lights illuminated the mostly dim, concrete arena. Looking around the room, I took in all of the empty black chairs.  Not seeing anyone other than a few event organizers my head swung towards the stage.  Breathing deeply, I felt cool air tickle against my neck as some large fans rotated the air and I started forward.

Waving the note above my head, I cocked an eyebrow as I felt the adrenaline mix with the intense rage I was feeling and my arms shook against the sides of my white and gold bohemian dress as I moved forward.

"I need an explanation." I heard myself bellow, my gold heels clicking against the concrete rapidly.  NOW. Or there is going to be a dead pop star in this arena"

...Could I get tackled from security for saying that out loud?  Oh well.  I really didn't care.  As long as I was able to get to him first.

Heads whipped around in my direction from the stage, and several pairs of eyes glanced at me curiously as the dancers and musicians stopped their preparations.  Standing in the mix I saw Chris and Natalie standing together in their black tights and t-shirts and I gave them a once over before my eyes focused on my primary target in the center of the stage.

He had SO much explaining to do. 

Keeping my eyes locked on him, I watched the smile that had been on his face moments before when speaking to Anna and Frank disappear as I shoved a microphone stand out of my way and chewing his bottom lip I saw Michael squint, trying to figure out what I was holding.

"Michael! Get your good for nothing, cheating piece of s-"

"Lexi! Get a grip."

Frank's big familiar hand clamped down over my shoulder from behind and I let out an irritated growl and swallowed back a sharp retort as I turned to face him.

"What's going on?" 

At work since before I had found the note, Frank's piercing blue eyes watched me with a mix of surprise and curiosity.  Rolling my eyes, I forced myself to remember that Frank had no idea what my rage was about and was only trying to calm me down before I embarrassed everyone in the room.

Which, he had no chance of doing.  After letting what I found out process, the grief had quickly turned to indignation, disbelief, and rage.  Pure woman done wrong rage.  So Frank had a better chance of getting a gorilla to floss his teeth than he did getting me calmed down.

Tapping my foot impatiently against the floor, I adjusted the narrow metallic gold belt around my waist and tossed my hair over my shoulder.

"Not now..." I growled, turning my head to see Michael jogging down the side stage entrance. "I have a rat to ki-"

"Ooo-kay. I obviously have no choice."

Frank's hand left my shoulder, and before I had a chance to speak I felt myself being hoisted over his shoulder and being carried out of the arena.

"Are you KIDDING me?" I cried indignantly, feeling the straps of my shoes get tangled between my toes"

"You've been around Janet to long."

Frank's steady stride only slowed momentarily as he turned and slammed the doors open behind us.  Cocking my head to the side I saw that Michael had quickened his pace and was following after us.

"Frank. Put. Me. Down."

Spanking my butt lightly, Frank chuckled and shook his head.  "I don't think so Lex.  We are going to talk about this."

"I never liked you."

"Of course you didn't"

Frank's sarcastic retort and easy chuckle relaxed my nerves a bit and I closed my eyes and laid my head against his neck.  Feeling his heartbeat beneath the soft leather coat and white undershirt, the security of being held in Frank's protective arms made a bit of the vulnerability and fear from earlier rise to the surface of my emotions and I blinked a couple of times to keep the tears at bay.

What was he going to say when I confronted him?

My thoughts drifting back to Michael I willed myself not to cry and reminded myself that no matter the outcome, this was NOT my fault.  And that somehow, I would make it through it.

"Alright Lex. Here we are."

My nose inhaled the scent of Frank's cologne, and taking another steadying breath I raised my head from his neck and wiped a few strands of hair from my eyes.

Frank cracked the door open to Michael's dressing room and I peaked over his shoulder as he turned to shut the door.

"Isn't Michael on his way in?"

Kicking the door shut with his leg, Frank swung me around, exposing the white couch, makeup vanity, chair, fridge, and large snack bar that had been provided to make the long hours Michael would be here preparing a bit less grueling.  Walking towards the couch, Frank gently tossed me on the couch and took a seat beside me.  Feeling the silk dress bunch underneath me I shifted my legs and pulled it out to drape over the edge. 

"He is, but I locked the door.  I wanted to hear your side to whatever is going on first."

Frank shifted on the couch and placed his arm around me.  "Alright Lele. Why don't you tell me what's going on."

Taking a deep breath, I relaxed my head against Frank's shoulder and quickly recounted everything, from finding the picture in Michael's office to the note I had found earlier.  Frank listened wordlessly, nodding in appropriate places, and when I got to the end of my concerns Frank's eyes had darkened and his lips were pursed together tightly.

"Is there any way this is just some crazy fan though Lex...? I mean maybe this was an understanding.  Where did you find the note?"

"...In the presorted mail.  It was sent to the address Michael only gives out to people privately."

Frank's eyes reflected his surprise.  "You mean this wasn't sent to the general..."

I shook my head no.

A knock sounded on the door, and Frank's head jerked quickly in the direction of the noise.

"Lex...? What's going on?"

"I'm going to KILL him"

Frank's growl was low, almost guttural, as he quickly shot off the couch and towards the door.

"Weren't you the one a few minutes ago telling ME to calm down?"

Frank turned and gave me a glare before opening the door.

Peaking around Frank, I saw Michael standing on the other side with a curious look on his face.

"What's going o-"

Michael didn't have a chance to say a word before Frank's fist connected with his jaw.  Letting out a shriek I hopped off the couch and raced over to them as Michael's body thudded to the ground.

"Frank! No!"

Michael's body twisted as he hit the floor, and quickly I bent down over Michael and inspected his jaw.

"Would someone...PLEASE....tell me what is going ON with you two?"

Michael's eyes were stormy as he glanced between the two of us.  His tone, angry and cold, made the worry and fear I had felt moments ago dissipate and, digging into the small white pocket on my dress I tossed him the note. 

"What's up with US? Explain this."

Michael's eyes widened.

Soft ringlets of hair clung to his forehead, and I clenched my jaw and willed myself not to look at the purple ring forming around his soft chocolate eyes.

"Anytime Michael."

Pulling a strand of hair back from my neck, I sucked in a deep breath and waited for an explanation. 

There had to be a good reason...because if not...

I couldn't let myself go there.

Michael remained silent, and nervous anticipation held me completely still as I watched the inner turmoil in his expression.  Taking the paper from my hands the note crinkled beneath his fingertips.  Noises from outside the dressing area could be heard on the other side of the doorway and in an effort to take my mind off the present situation I listened to the checklists and dancers chatter as Frank and I waited for Michael to begin.

Every moment felt like a million. Never would I have ever imagined...

Closing my eyes, I tried to imagine a future without Michael by my side.  With him having a child of his own that wasn't with me.

I wasn't sure which thought hurt worse.

Memories flooded my subconscious, and my arms brushed against the soft fabric of my skirt as I crossed my arms in front of me and began toying with my engagement ring.

I couldn't even remember my life before him... this all just felt so wrong.

Inhaling a deep breath, my mind felt overwhelmed and I trembled imaging Michael with another women.

"Lexi.."

Michael's soft voice broke my thoughts and opening my eyes I saw compassion in his eyes.  Glancing over at Frank I nodded towards the door.

"We'll sort this out alone Frank...ok?"

Frank's eyes shot daggers over towards Michael.  Taking a step towards him, Frank ran a finger under his jaw indicating he'd kill Michael if he hurt me. 

"I'll be RIGHT outside." Frank growled, turning on his heel and heading for the door.

The door opened and clicked shut behind him.  Opening his arms Michael gently reached forward and tugged on my arm, silently asking me to sit down on his lap while he explained.

"Please Lex..."

Looking for comfort despite my warring emotions, I stepped forward and placed my hands against the folds of my dress as I positioned myself in his lap.

Moving my hair to my left shoulder, Michael's arms wrapped around my waist and gently he pressed a kiss to the side of my head.

"I didn't want to involve you in this yet Lex...but I guess it's time."

No kidding.

"Do you remember back when you were in the hospital a couple of years ago Lex?  When you got hit by the car? Well, the nurse...Megan."

"Are you KIDDING ME? That HOOKER?"

"Lex...do you want me to finish?"

Mumbling under my breath I nodded.

"Okay.  A few months ago on tour I got served with child support papers from Megan.  She's claiming that her and I had sex in the hospital while you were recovering and-"

"Wait a minute..."  Crinkling my brow I held up a hand motioning for him to stop.  "Michael isn't that who I caught you in the closet with?"

Glancing back I saw Michael inhale a deep breath and slowly nod his head.  "It is but Lex...I swear nothing happened."

Biting the corner of my lip I forced myself to keep listening.

"In the last couple of weeks she's started sending the letters and pictures too. Lexi I swear..."  Michael's words drifted off, and I felt his arms tighten around my waist as he swallowed back his emotions and tried again.

"I swear nothing happened.  Don't you know how much you mean to me? I-I can't lose you over this..."

Michael's explanation did little to calm my fears. 

Absently I glanced down at my skirt and ran my hands over the fabric.  Smoothing it against my leg I forced myself not to cry and tried to make sense of what he had just said.

"It just...doesn't look very good Michael.  That baby..."

Michael sighed.  "Looks a LOT like me...I know."

"How old is it?"

Michael's silence told me everything I needed.

"If you add up the months...It was conceived about the time you were in the hospital."

This couldn't be happening.

Closing my eyes I trembled.

"Baby....Please..I don't know what's going on but I swear as bad as it looks NOTHING happened."

" You promise nothing happened?"

"I promise."

Emotions warred within me.  Warred against the trust Michael had built up within me.  To not believe him would mean losing him.  Would mean choosing logic and accepting the evidence at face value. To believe him would mean trusting him based on the love we shared.  Based on years of memories and countless conversations revealing Michael's heart. 

What did I really feel deep inside me?

..."Okay."

I clasped his hands and loosened his grip so that I could turn around in his lap.  Looping my legs around his waist, I slipped my arms around his neck and looked into his eyes.

The eyes of the only man that had never lied to me. He deserved at least a chance.

"Okay?"

Running a hand down the side of his face, I leaned in and pressed a kiss to his nose.

"If you said you didn't....then you didn't."

Michael's eyes welled up with tears and, swallowing back my own I leaned forward, capturing his lips in a kiss.

"Lexi...I love you so much"  He breathed, his hands clasping my hair.

"I love you too..." I whispered softly, laying my forehead against his.

"We'll get through this mess...together."

Two Months Later
Neverland


Sunlight streamed into my bedroom window. 

Allowing my eyes to adjust to the light, I glanced over to my right to see that Michael was already gone.

Letting out a disappointed sigh, I yawned and leaned my head back against my pillow.

The last month had been incredible.

Spending tons of time together, Michael and I had spent the majority of the last month reconnecting from the time lost. 

Sharing the worries, the fears he hadn't been able to discuss with me before Michael had lightened his schedule and taken some time off for us to deal with all of the impending stress.

Which we had both needed. Desperately.

"Lexi?"

Michael's voice filled the doorway and, lifting myself up on the bed from my elbows I looked towards the doorway and smiled, seeing Michael, hair disheveled and shirtless in plaid blue pajama bottoms walking towards me with a silver tray.

"I thought you could use some breakfast."

Smiling at his thoughtfulness, I patted the spot next to me on the bed and he climbed in.  Laying the tray down next to me he leaned in for a kiss.

"Thank you" I whispered against his lips, inhaling the scent of French toast.

"Mmm...no thank YOU Miss Adams.  That kiss MORE than makes up for it. Eat and get dressed.  We are going to spend the day together."

My heart skipped a beat and Michael leaned back, smiled, and hopped off the bed.

"I'll be back in a bit."

______________________________________________________________________
A Few Hours Later

That witch was going to pay.

Memories burned in my subconscious and, feeling the intense and rage swell up within me again I resisted the urge to punch my fist through the window and stayed low beneath the bushes, peaking through the glass pane from below.

"Michael....what are you doing?"  

"Michael NO!!!"

Squeals of laughter streamed through the window.  Griping my fingers tight into a fist I closed my eyes and cursed beneath my breath. Birds chirped above me and hummingbirds buzzed happily around the lush mansions landscaping.  Inhaling the scent of roses in full bloom my hatred intensified. Narrowing my eyes into slits I shoved a strand of hair behind my ears and crept closer to the window, careful not make a noise and risk detection. 

She would not get away again.

In disgust I watched Lexi flip her long blonde hair over her shoulder.  Michael's face lit up as he chucked, drawing her into him for a kiss.  Letting out an indignant squeal both of their heads shot curiously over to the window and I crouched down quickly, my heart beating quickly from the near discovery.

I needed to get out of here. Now.

Shoving my way through the bushes I let my intense hatred and adrenaline carry me quickly through the lush garden landscaping and to the small hidden area I had entered from earlier. 

It hadn't worked before.

But it would work this time.

I was going to destroy her.
_______________________________________________________________________

"Michael...."

Ignoring my feeble protests Michael's arms wrapped tighter against my waist and I melted against him, relishing the feeling of him being close.

"I still say there was someone out there."

Pressing a kiss to my head Michael peaked down at me from above.  Hooking my chin with his finger Michael's dark brown eyes searched my face, his browns knit together in concern.

"Lex....we're okay.  You don't have to constantly keep looking over your shoulder."

Letting out a small sigh, I resisted the urge to share the information I had learned a few months back.  Deciding not to let my worries ruin the afternoon together I smiled, letting my hands caress Michael's back.

"I guess your right."

Removing his hands from my waist, Michael's arms swooped down to my knees.  My hair fell behind my shoulders as Michael lifted me into his arms.  Wrapping both of my arms around his neck the silver bangles around my wrist jingled I gently moved a wisp of hair from his eyes.

"I love you Lexi Grace.  I can't wait to spend our lives together."


____________________________________________________________________

Snuggling deeper into the couch, I shifted the cell phone against my shoulder and leaned into Michael.

"We'll get it done Janet, don't worry."

Michael glanced down at me and raised his eyebrows.  "Is that Janet?"

Nodding my head yes, Michael quickly snatched the phone from my ear and quickly started bickering with his sister.

"Hello? Janet what is your- No....You want to do WHAT at my wedding?  Janet...Lexi said-No listen...."

Giving Michael a cheeky grin, Michael gave me an incredious look and made a crazy motion for Janet with his finger.

"The apple doesn't fall far from the familial tree..." I whispered, receiving a pillow to the face as a response.

"Hey!"

Michael chucked another one at my head, and laughing I moved out from underneath his arm and climbed onto his lap.

"Michael...Joseph!"

The phone fell from Michael's hand as he swung us down onto the couch, and as he came to land on top of me I shifted underneath him and rolled off the couch.

"How did you-"

Before Michael had a chance to finish his sentence I hurled a pillow at his head startling him.  Letting out a squeal my socks padded against the floor and I raced to the hallway, escaping him.

"Your going to pay for that!"

Michael's voice echoed loudly from the hall and, giggling I raced through the kitchen and out the back door. 

My feet landed in something warm and sticky.

What the heck?

My breathing heavy I stopped in my tracks and looked down to my feet, horrified to see a mangled animal on the front porch.  Letting out a loud scream I heard Michael's footsteps close in behind me.

"Lexi! Are you okay?!"

Michael's arms protectively closed in around me as he searched for the source of my panic.  Feeling the soft cotton of my nightshirt against my arm as I pointed down towards the animal Michael's head jerked down abruptly.

"Is that a cat?"

Shrugging my shoulders, I shook remembering the noise I had heard earlier by the window. 

Was it connected?

Letting his arms slip from my waist Michael bent down and lovingly pulled the nasty socks from my feet and dropped them down on the concrete. 

"Come on baby let's get you cleaned up.  I'm sure some animal just got ahold of it.  It was probably a stray."

My eyes searched the darkness, and the muggy silence was intimidating as I slowly turned, allowing Michael to lead me inside.

"I guess....maybe your right."

"I SAID FOR YOU TO GET. ME. ANOTHER. SHIRT. NOW."

Rolling my eyes to the ceiling, tall wooden beams glimmered beneath the shards of sunlight glittering through the tall windows overlooking miles of trees.  Inhaling a deep breath, I resisted the urge to scream and watched the leaves billowing in the wind.

"Lauren" I responded calmly, resisting the urge to lose my temper, "I've already told you there's nothing I can do about it.  That's all that your mom sent over for yo-"

"AND I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU..." Lauren's eyes narrowed to slits.  Standing in front of me in a pair of turquoise colored tights and an off the shoulder black silk top, Lauren's long narrow fingers clamped tighter over the fabric as she took a step towards me, cheeks flushed.

"THAT IF I DON'T GET THAT SHIRT IMMEDIATELY I AM GOING TO"

"Lauren go screw yourself."

Michael's normally soft voice interrupted Lauren's rant.  Choking on my gum in surprise, Michael's arms wrapped around my waist from behind.

Lauren's mouth widened to a full circle.  Soaking in the startled look on her face I let out a chuckle and spun around in Michael's arms.

Michael's hair was pulled back behind him in a pony tail.  A couple of soft curls framing his face, Michael's light complexion made his large brown eyes look even larger and his lips even fuller.  Leaning in to give him a kiss my hand brushed against the cool blue silk fabric of his dress shirt.

"Well hello there."  Tilting my head slightly, my eyes twinkled mischievously as I dropped my arm back down to his waist and looped my fingers in his black dress pants belt loops.  "Come to join us?"

"More like I'm on a break."

Letting out a fake sigh, Michael's eyes crinkled mischievously and he nudged his head in Lauren's direction.

"Still having fun I see"

Michael let out a small huff as I elbowed him in the ribs.

"If you want to keep those pretty little curls from getting chopped off in the middle of the night I'd keep my mouth quiet if I were you."

"Right, cause I'm sure you'd do that."

This was the first time I had seen him all day.  Downtown in LA, Michael was working on some promo shots for a magazine and had left the ranch before I had even woken up.   Promising him I would head down and wait for him when he was ready to go home me and my very obnoxious babysitting charge had headed down to the studio a couple of hours ago. Not surprisingly the shoot was taking longer than expected.

"Michael we need you back on set."

Anna's dark brown bob and dark rimmed glasses appeared in the doorway.  Clipboard in hand, Anna tapped her watch and waited for Michael to acknowledge her before disappearing again in the hallway.

Glancing back at Michael in confusion I glanced from him to the doorway "Seriously? You just got here.  Aren't your breaks usually longer than like, five minutes?" 

Impishly, Michael kissed me on the nose and leaned in close to whisper in my ear.

"I told them I was going to the bathroom so I could sneak in here and give you a kiss. And do this."

Michael's arm slipped down to my dark denim skinny jeans.  Feeling a slight pinch on my butt I shrieked back and sent Michael another death glare.

"Get out of here!" Resisting the urge to giggle, I forced myself to look stern as Michael gave me another irresistible giggle and spun back around to walk out the door.

"You're a lucky woman Lexi just admit it."

Michael's parting remark was meant in sarcasm, but even with the slight sting from his pinch I couldn't deny the smart alleck reply watching him leave the room.  That man was crazy gorgeous.

"OoOo Lexi's in love how SWEET. BUT WHAT ABOUT MY SHIRT?"

Lauren's sugary sweet tone morphed into the demanding rage lunatic it had been before Michael entrance in less than a second. Mumbling a string of profanities under my breath I resisted the urge to shove Lauren in one of the large trunks behind us and instead I clenched my fist at my side again and reached up to tuck a stray hair behind my ear.

"Could you just sit down and play on your cell phone until he's finished? Please?"

"Could you just sit down? Please?"  Lauren mimicked me, crinkling her nose in disgust.  "I'LL SIT DOWN WHEN I. GET. MY. SHIRT."

Someone needs to shoot this child with a tranquilizer dart.

Ignoring Lauren's theatrics, I walked across the room to an overstuffed white leather chair and sat down.  Crossing my legs I zoned out until I felt a tap on my shoulder.  Startled I jumped in my seat and glanced up to see Michael standing in front of me.  A leather coat thrown over his shirt, Michael's large duffle was slung over his shoulder.

"You two ready to go?"  Michael smiled wryly, nodding in Lauren's direction.

Glancing down at my cell I realized another hour had passed. 

"I know I am."

Hair tumbled down my shoulders as I reached down beside me and grabbed my small gold clutch.  Wiggling my feet back into my strappy sandals, I stood and took a step towards Michael.  Resting his hand on the back of my waist Michael and I waited patiently for Lauren to grab her mountain of stuff.

Watching her struggle under the weight of her duffle, purse, makeup bag, and plethora of other things Michael released my waist and walked over effortlessly taking her duffle from here.

"Here I'll take this."

Glancing up at him with large doe eyes Lauren gave Michael a seductive grin and batted her eyes.

"Oh thank you Michael.  Aren't you just wonderful?"

Rolling my eyes, I ignored the flirtation Lauren was throwing Michael's way.  In the last few months it had finally dawned on Lauren who Michael was and ever since then every time she was within ten feet of him she was constantly replying to him with sugary sweet remarks and finding every opportunity possible to get close to him.

Michael smiled tightly.  "No problem".

Michael walked back over to me and slipped his arm around the back of my waist.  Grabbing ahold of the door Michael swung it open for Lauren and I.  We took off in the maze of hallways.

"Is that her?"

The closer we got to the entryway we were supposed to meet Michael's car the more crowded the hallways became.  The noise echoed loudly and seemed to consume everyone even as we entered the main room. Nerves rose within me, tightening my throat as Michael's bodyguards came into view.  Forcing myself to ignore the stares I glanced around for Frank.  Spotting him across the room I caught his eye and lifted my hand to wave.   Giving him confused look Frank's eyes immediately darted to the ground making my apprehension grow even more.
 
Something was not right.
 
"Michael...do you know what's going on?"

Glancing around the room Michael's shoulders shrugged.  "No, but I'm sure it's nothing."

"You think it has something to do with the cat last night?"

Visions from my past flashed before me.  Instinctively I knew that Michael was downplaying everyone's pointed stares to keep me from panicking but in the back of my mind I wondered what was going on.

"Lex I told you...it was probably just a stray."  Michael's eyes softened and releasing my waist he stepped in front of me and reached his hands up to cup my face.

"Everything is ok."

Inhaling a deep breath I gave Michael a slow nod.  "Okay."

Michael gave me a smile and reached down to clasp my hand in his.

Surely he was right.

It was possible that the pointed stares and whispers were because of who he was and that I was being paranoid.  Shoving the negative thoughts from my mind Michael and I walked forwards towards the bodyguards and waited as they cleared the area.

"All clear Mr. Jackson.  We're ready for you."

Frank and Michael's other bodyguard swung the tinted glass doors open. 

"But I feel we should warn you..."

Both voices were drowned out as the doors opened.  My eyes widening in surprise, Michael's hand squeezed mine as we were met with reporters on either sides of the barricade his guards had set up.   Mics shoved in front of them they began shooting us with questions rapid fire.

"Michael!"

"Michael!"

Michael protectively jerked me closer to him.  Tucking my head against his chest we moved forward quickly trying to get to the car.

"Michael! Is it true that you fathered a child WHILE you were with Lexi?"

"Michael! Is it true that your child's alleged mother is suing you for a DNA sample for DNA testing?"

"Michael! Is it true that you paid Lexi to stay with you despite the infidelity?"

Speechless Michael and I got into the car.  Tossing the duffles on the floor Michael released my hand and leaned back against the cool leather seats.  Placing both hands over his face Michael let a groan.

"How did they find OUT?" I whispered urgently, glancing out the window.

"I don't know.

"So...how much am I getting paid to stay with you?"

Michael's fingers slid open.  Glaring at me underneath his hands I gave Michael a small smile.  Laying my clutch down beside me I climbed on top of his lap and gently pulled his hands down.

"Because I was thinking at least ten mill. Maybe twenty."

A small smile formed on Michael's face.  Reaching up I ran my fingers through his hair and leaned forward, giving him a gentle kiss.

"And maybe a Ferrari."

Michael rolled his eyes.

"Your impossible."

"Yep.  Impossibly budging on the Ferrari."

Michael's strained face completely relaxed at my teasing and, letting out a small growl, Michael picked me up off his lap and laid me down on the seat.  Positioning himself above me Michael pulled my hands down above my head and cocked an eyebrow.

"Let's see....what to do what to do."

"EWW! OMG GROSS!"

Lauren's shrieks filled the car.  Pulling my sweater down I glanced over at her to see that she had finally stopped texting and had come up for air.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! YOU CAN'T DO THE NASTY IN FRONT OF ME!"

Biting the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing I looked up at Michael and shot him a wink.

"You mean like this?"

I grabbed Michael's shirt and pulled him closer to me for a kiss.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"

Michael's eyes brimmed with laughter as we pretended to "make out" in front of Lauren.

"THAT. IS. SO. WRONG. OMG!"

Shoving my face into Michael's jacket I dissolved into laughter. 

"I'M GOING TO SUE!"

"MMM...LEXI I LOVE YOU SO MUCH"

"OH YES I LOVE YOU TOO"

A loud cough from the other side of the limo came from Frank and both Michael and I looked over at him.

"This is starting to get disturbing."

Michael smacked my butt and, giggling, lifted up so I could slide out from underneath him.

"No kidding."

Lauren high fived Frank as Michael and I tugged our hair and clothes back into shape.  Snuggling next to Michael I felt his cell phone vibrate on the seat next to us. 

Michael's brow furrowed once again as he answered the phone.  Watching his face intently the seriousness of the press finding out a moment ago resurfaced.  Letting out a small sigh Michael agreed to something and ended the call.

"Frank, could you please tell the driver to go to 1192 Sunset instead please."

Frank nodded his head and turned in his seat to knock on the privacy glass.  Setting the phone on the other side of him Michael reached down and squeezed my hand.

"Where are we going?"

"To a press conference.  Frank scheduled one immediately.  Evidently the stuff they said about her seeking an order for DNA was true.  He wants to do some damage control and he wants me to do it now before we're served with a court order."

"Mr Jackson, we're here."

The relaxed look in Michael's eyes dissipated.  A thousand emotions rolled within me as I glanced out the window at the tall foreboding building in front of us crowded with hundreds of reporters and news stations.  I was trying to be brave today, for Michael's sake, but it was growing more difficult knowing the sudden onset of pointed questions was finally upon us.

Clearing his throat Michael forced a smile on his face and gave a slight wave.  The wave only lasted a moment, and Michael glanced back over at me and gave me a tight lipped smile.  A cool breeze ripped through the back of the limo and tickled my neck as Michael's security prepared the area for Michael to get inside.  Returning Michael's smile I leaned over and brushed a quick kiss on his cheek.  Giving me a small wink Michael's attention once again returned to the building.  Nervously we both waited. Michael's slacks crinkled and his long fingers smoothed the clumps of hair dangling from both sides of his ponytail. The smooth leather seats puckered beneath my fingertips as I clasped my hand into the seat.  Glancing down at the charcoal gray floorboard my feet glided back into my sandals.  The cool metal tickled against my feet and I shivered either from the sensation or from the nerves that had returned. 

Glancing over at Michael again my heart fell in my chest.  His fingertips grazing the window, Michael's eyes were filled with worry.  For a moment I closed my eyes imaging the sweet, shy boy from my childhood.  He was beautiful as a child.  Warm brown eyes, sweet shy smile.  I wanted to scream knowing that same boy was preparing to go inside and face a strong backlash against accusations I knew couldn't be true. Protectively I released my grasp on the seat and ran my fingers softly along his knuckles. 

I couldn't wait until this was all over.

Letting out a small sigh I opened my eyes and reminded myself of how lucky I was to be with someone as good as Michael.  Not many people found that one great love and I had known mine my entire life.  Even with all of the chaos I was blessed.

I could have ended up with someone like my father.

Clenching my jaw I refused to think about it.  Forcing back the emotions that usually followed any remembrance of my past I felt Michael's hand slide into mine and I glanced up to see one of the guys from Michael's security team nodding from outside the limo. 

"Lex"

Michael's voice barely above a whisper, I turned to look at him.  "You know....you know this all isn't true....right?"

Michael's eyes etched with worry, the honesty and fear on his face knocked my breath away.  Forcing back a couple of tears I smiled and nodded. 

"I know we've been through this before." Michael glanced back to the window and sucked in a deep breath "I know that somewhere deep down you obviously believe me or you wouldn't still be here...but Lex I could never...never cheat on you. I know what it feels like to lose you-I'd never risk that."

"Of course you wouldn't."  Realizing Michael could definitely use a giggle, I cocked an eyebrow and forced myself to sound upbeat. You know you'd never find anything as good as this. Plus you know Frank would hunt you down."

Michael's eyes crinkled and he lowered his head and smiled.  "I suppose that's true."

"Michael! Is the fact that your holding a press conference a SIGN of your guilt?!"

"Michael! How much longer do you think Lexi will stay with you with the impending allegations?"

Our moment was interrupted when the door swung open and the swarm surrounded us.  Letting out a small groan Michael scooted towards the door and released my hand long enough to get out.  Scooting to the edge of the seat Michael turned and shielded me from the press with his back as he reached his hand forward expectantly."

"Thank God we dropped Lauren off on the way..." I whispered loud enough only for Michael to here. "There's no telling what she'd have said to these people."

Michael chuckled and I took his hand and got out of the limo.  Wrapping his arms protectively around my shoulders I put my head down and ignored the loud screams in the jostling crowd.  It was just a few moments before the doors swung open in front of us. Quickly security moved us through the building to the room that had been prepared for Michael's interview.  Every room we passed was full of people waiting to hear Michael's response.  Squeezing closer to him, Michael's grasp on my waist never lessoned until the doors swung open to the final room.  Bright lights hit my eyes as soon as we descended into the small press room.

"Michael...do you want me to just sit out here...or?"

"Your coming up front with me."

I stopped dead in my tracks.  My eyes wide in fear I glanced towards the large crowd.  "What?!"

Security gently pushed me from behind and I stumbled on my heels as we continued forward.

"Lex, you seriously think I'm going to sit you out here with these vultures?"

Well...okay.  I hadn't thought of where he'd ACTUALLY sit me but still.

"What if they ask me a QUESTION?" I whispered furiously.

We stopped in the front of the room.  Michael's eyes were filled with laughter watching me have a spazz attack. The room buzzed furiously around us and photographers flashed photos wildly around us as Michael and I stepped forward onto the podium and took a seat.

"Then answer it."

Rolling my eyes I ignored him as Frank pulled out my chair and sat me at the table.   Forcing myself to behave rationally so that the press didn't latch onto my fear and spin it in the headlines as something else I nervously reached forward and grabbed a water bottle that had been set out in front of me.

"Mr. Jackson will make a statement, and then take your questions."

________________________________________________________________________

  "Lexi...honestly. It wasn't that bad."

Back at Neverland, Michael and I were snuggled under the blankets in bed watching the coverage from the press conference from earlier today.  Groaning, I watched the screen as the water bottle slipped from my hands and water went flying everywhere.  Leaping in surprise, my arms flailed wildly smacking Michael in the forehead.  The motion forced me off balance and, in front of the ENTIRE world, my body went careening to the left and I fell to the floor clutching the table cloth. 

"Michael....are you watching the same coverage I am?"

Pushing the sheets over my face I rolled over and laid my face against his chest.

"I'm never leaving this room again."

Michael coughed loudly and his stomach clenched tightly as he tried desperately not to laugh.  Looping the drawstring from Michael's plaid blue pajama bottoms between my fingers I let out a frustrated sigh and curled up closer to him.

"Many are currently speculating Jackson's current girlfriend, Lexi Adams, intended to nail Jackson in the forehead, as a silent protest..."

"It's only a small mark...but still I can't believe you'd be so abusive Lex. I mean really, I thought you BELIEVED me!!"

Lifting my head slightly, I glared at Michael.

"Are you kidding me? You SERIOUSLY think now is the time to joke like this?"

"....I love you Lex."

"Uggggh!"

Pulling me in closer to him Michael and I continued watching the coverage until the news moved on to a different subject.  Reaching beside him for the remote Michael shut off the television and tossed the remote on the nightstand. 

"So when do you have to go in and submit the sample?"

"Tomorrow."

Nodding my head, I glanced up at him.  "And you'll find out the results when?"

"In a couple of weeks...and then things can go back to normal."

"And we can start planning our wedding again."

Michael's eyes softened and he slipped an arm from my waist and clasped a long strand of my hair and began to twirl it. 

"I can't wait Lex.  Have you guys figured out anything yet?"

Shaking my head no, Michael leaned down and kissed me on the top of my head. 

"As far as I'm concerned we could go down to the courthouse, I'm just ready to be your wife.  But your sister..."

"I can only imagine."

1 Week later
San Diego Zoo

Bright puffy clouds encased the light blue sky and the tan pathways leading to the various animals in the zoo were clear of other pedestrians.  Large lush trees surrounded the landscape and in excitement I noticed the penguin house just a few yards away.

"Michael! Look!"

My arms wrapped tightly around Michael's neck, Michael gave me a small chuckle and jumped a bit bouncing me on his shoulders.

"Hey!"

My ponytail bounced wildly as I scrambled to maintain my grasp.  My squeals were met by laughter below.  Wrapping my jean short clad legs around his waist I shot him a quick glare and rested my chin on his head.

"What was that for?"

"Because I love you baby.  All because I love you."

"Mmhmm"

Fingering my silver tank top I adjusted the bottom of my shirt and reached on top of my head to slide my sunglasses down. Both of us had decided last night after watching the news that we could both use another break and some alone time so we had decided to take a few days out of the public eye and spend it doing some of the things we hadn't gotten to do together in forever.  Like, for example go to the zoo without being bombarded.  So SOMEHOW Michael had been able to get the zoo shutdown in a matter of hours for us to come and visit.

My guess? The person in charge was a woman.  This man's voice could melt glaciers.

"So I take it we are headed to the penguin house next?"  Michael's voice was filled with amusement.  I peaked down and looked at him and in excitement I nodded my head yes.

"Or......we could visit the reptile exhibit."

Michael turned his head so that he could see my expression.  His eyes gleaming mischievously, Michael cocked his head towards the reptile house and took a step towards the doorway.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME! DON'T. YOU. DARE!"

Michael's eyes lit up and his laughter grew the tighter my grasp on his neck got. .  Dressed in dark denim jeans and a plaid blue and grey shirt Michael looked as adorable as he did mischievous as he went at first slowly and then in a full blown run to the reptile house.  Hiding my face in his hair, my screams were muffled as Michael took the stairs two at a time and swung the door open.

"Now this is a place we could stay all day."

"Mmffummspla"

My voice was completely muffled, and my fingers were turning white from fear as Michael went from one exhibit to the next pointing out every snake and alligator he could find.

"Excuse me, sir, but would you like to hold one?"

My heart stopped.  Releasing my death vice on Michael I fell back slightly before I repositioned my arms.  Glancing up I saw an older man in khaki shorts and a teal zoo shirt.  A large key ring dangling from his hand the man looked at both of us innocently and pointed over towards a large case on the left.

"Michael don't even think abou-"

"Sure, we'd love to!"

The large stone building filled with trees, silently I wondered if I hopped off Michael's back and made a run for it if I could hide long enough for Michael to take pity on me and leave the exhibit. 

Probably not.

"Baby, PLEASE NO!!"

Frantically I clung tightly to Michael's torso and my squeals grew louder the closer we got to it.  Laughing hysterically, Michael stepped into the small exhibit room the snake was displayed in and glanced up at me.

"I'm sorry did you say something?"

"Muufoolooveks"

My voice became muffled again as I hid my face back against his head.  Michael and the zoo worker exchanged a few words while my eyes were closed.  Not feeling anything slithering against my skin a few minutes later I tentatively peaked up to see us walking towards the exit door.

"Where are we going?" 

Michael hopped slightly, bouncing me up and getting a better grasp on my legs, and pushed the door open with his hip.

"Do you really think I'd put a snake on you Lex? Knowing how afraid you are?"

Leaning down slightly I kissed his cheek. 

"Yes.  Yes I do."

Michael giggled and for a few more hours Michael and I wandered the zoo taking pictures and making total tourists out of ourselves.  Finally after a few hours Michael and I were exhausted.  Hopping down from his waist, Michael slipped his hand in mine and we headed towards the zoo entrance to wait for our car.

"Did you have fun?"

A large fountain behind us the sound of the water falling from the large elephant sculpture made it a bit harder to hear.  Stopping in front of him I released his hand and wrapped my arm around his waist.

"I always have fun when we are together."

Michael's eyes softened, and leaning down Michael laid a soft kiss on my lips.

"Although...there is something I've been waiting a couple of hours to do."  Moving my head back, I glanced behind me and lightly pushed Michael into the water.

"What the-!"

Michael's body was completely submerged.  Raising both hands to my mouth I loud out a loud giggle.  My shoulders shaking violently Michael's dark brown curls clung to the sides of his face and his plaid shirt clung tightly against his torso as he placed both of his hands on the sides of the fountain to steady himself.  Staring at me in disbelief water cascaded down his shoulders.  Shooting him a wink I blew a kiss and doubled over in laughter.

"For that, you are going to pay."

Water spilled over the sides of the fountain as he climbed over the edge and made his way towards me.  Letting out another loud scream I glanced back behind me towards the entrance and took off running.

"Oh no you don't!"

Michael caught up to me in only a few paces.  Scooping me up in his arms I squealed and kicked wildly as he walked back over to the fountain and dropped me in.

"NOOO!!"

Clinging tightly to Michael's shirt, Michael lost his balance and came right over the edge with me. 

"Are you too ready to go yet?"

The water was ice cold and as soon as I surfaced I saw Frank standing in front of us, a smirk on his face.  Dressed in a dark black suit and a blue dress shirt, Frank was tapping his watch and motioning towards the car.

"Now we are."

The Next Morning
Neverland Ranch

Sunlight streamed through the windows sending prisms of light bouncing around the room. Cautiously I opened my eyes, silently wondering what time it was, and allowed them to adjust to the light.   

It didn't look much later than when we had went to bed.

Michael and I had been up all night watching movies and talking...and doing a little more than talking at times.  Not wanting to waste even a moment of our short vacation together Michael and I hadn't wanted to go to sleep.  Honestly I wasn't even sure what time we finally had succumbed to our drooping eyes and incessant yawns but the sun had been rising in the horizon peaking behind the mountains and trees at the time.
 
 Yawning, I stretched my arms over my head and rolled over to see that Michael was already gone.  Blankets tossed over the bed, his spot was left empty and a small yellow post it was on his pillow.  Putting my arms down I tugged my yellow cami down and reached over and grabbed the note.  "Gone outside to do some writing. Love you." 

Michael's familiar scribble brought a smile to my face.   Running my other hand along the cool satin sheets I pushed myself up onto the side of the bed and slipped my sandals on.  In the background I heard the humming of one of Michael's housekeepers.  Walking across the room I opened our closet and ran my hand along the wall until my fingers landed on the cool plastic of the light switch.  Flicking the lights on, a burst of colors from the racks of clothing on both sides of the large room jumped out at me.  Walking over to my side I sorted through the racks of clothes until an old pair of track pants and a light grey tank with sequins I had forgotten all about caught my eye.  My hands moved to the shelf and, in the same instant I grabbed the clothes, a thick notebook thudded to the ground.  Curious I set the clothes down beside me and my hair tumbled over my shoulders as I bent down to pick it up. 

Was this my notebook? But how?


Several years ago while I was in high school Janet and I had both had a falling out and had stopped talking.  It had only lasted about a year and we had been completely inseparable ever since, but during that time I had been so lonely that I had begun writing everything down which soon morphed into song writing.  I had never mentioned anything to Janet, and especially Michael, since both of them were so musically inclined.  Terrified of their response as soon as Janet and I had made up I had shoved my notebook in my closet at home and forgotten all about it.

Until now.  How did this even get here when I moved? 

Shrugging my shoulders I walked out of the closet, turned off the light, and walked across the room to a white upholstered bench with dark brown buttons sitting beneath a large bay window. Crossing my legs in front of me, my old notebook made a slight noise as I opened the pages.

"Lex?"

Michael's voice drifted down the hallway.  My heart pounding in my chest I slammed the book shut and stuffed it under the bench cushion.

A soft knock on the door made me look up, and Michael gave me a warm smile from the doorway.  Dressed in the same pajama bottoms as last night and a white tank top Michael's hair fell neatly down his shoulders.  Motioning for me to come towards him I gave him a smile and stood up.

"What are you doing? I thought you were doing some writing?"

Michael walked a few more steps towards me and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"I thought I'd come check on my favorite girl Pretty Young Thing."

Michael's eyes twinkled and I wrapped my arms around his neck and rolled my eyes. 

"You are so cheesy."

Michael mimicked my eye roll and gave me a snort.  "So are you."

Squinting my eyes I pressed my nose up against his "Am not!"

Michael squinted his eyes and pressed his nose closer "Are too."

"AM NOT!"

"ARE TOO!"

"Lex...the fact that you used the phrase "Cheesy" proves my point."

Michael stared at me and cocked an eyebrow while I searched for something to say. 

"Shut up."

Michael grinned and released my waist to grab my hand.

"Do you have time to come with me? I want to show you something."

Curious, I nodded my head. "Sure."

Michael stepped out of the room and both of us headed down the hallway.  Peaking in each room as we went I prayed that the housekeeper had ended up in the other wing of the house and wouldn't see my prancing around in my pajamas. 

"Lex....what are you doing?"

Blushing, I shook my head. "Nothing"

Michael grinned at me and both of us started walking again.  Michael led me downstairs, outside, and much to my chagrin we passed several people from security and landscaping as we went.

"Michael....where exactly are we going?"

Michael turned to look at me, pressed a finger to his lips, and walked me down the pathway until we were quiet a bit away from the house. 

"....Michael?"

Michael continued walking, ignoring my questions, until we stopped at a large tree on top of a hill. 

"Here we are."

"We're.....where?"

Michael led me over underneath the tree.  The dew on the grass was cool against my bare feet and I quickly sat in Michael's lap as he settled against the bark. 

Michael placed his hands on my arm and moved them back and forth to help get me warm quicker.  Pulling my hair on my left shoulder, I leaned back and closed my eyes enjoying being close to him.

Michael pressed a kiss to my neck and I tilted my head up and gave him a kiss.

"Mmkay...what were you wanting to show me?"

Michael reached behind the tree and pulled out a small binder.  Cocking my head, I stared at it curiously. 

"We're setting a date.  Right now."

Surprised, I bit my lip and glanced down as Michael opened the pages and started flipping through them.  "But I thought that with your schedule we were going to have to wait awhile and play it by ear..." 

Michael shook his head and looked at me seriously.  "No more Lex.  It's time.  Everything else can wait."


‘Okay then....by why did you want to do it out here?"

"Because this is where we should get married." Michael motioned outside.  "I was out here earlier working on music and it hit me...why not skip the church thing and do it at home?"

Surprised, I glanced around the grounds with renewed appreciation.  For the last few months Janet and I had been making very vague plans waiting for Michaels to schedule to clear up enough to actually set a date but in all of that time it had never occurred to either of us to have the wedding at the house.  It was perfect.

"I love it."
 
_______________________________________________________________________

"This is nice."

A roaring fire crackled in the corner of the room and Michael's arms were tucked around me on the leather couch in the living area.  A red cashmere blanket draped over us, the large velvet curtains were draped shut outside shutting out the rest of the world.  Feeding each other popcorn from a large metal bowl on my lap, Michael and I had been sitting the last few hours talking and making plans.  Snuggled up against his chest I pulled the sleeves of my oversized sweatshirt down over my wrists and leaned my head back against his neck.  Michael pressed a kiss to my temple and grabbed another kernel.

"Too bad we can't do this more often."

Michael's hair thrown back in a ponytail, his chiseled cheekbones made his eyes seem even larger than they normally did.  Reaching up and caressing his cheek with my hand Michael burrowed his head in my neck.

"Mmm...no kidding."

"Do you really have to go back into the studio tomorrow?"

Michael's hands slid under my shirt and caressed my stomach.  Letting a small sigh escape I closed my eyes and listened to his heartbeat.

Michael's face crinkled and his eyes looked apologetic.  "Unfortunately yes."
Shrugging my shoulders, I tossed another kernel in my mouth.

"At least we've made some plans...That doesn't feel like such an impossible feat anymore."

Michael wiped the popcorn grease off his hands and clasping my waist, leaned both of us down so that he could reach his water bottle down on the coffee table.

"Were you starting to feel like it would never happen?"

Shrugging my shoulders, I looked down at the bowl.

"Maybe."

"Lex, I know I haven't acted like it lately with everything that's going on...but you always come first. No matter what happens."

Michael's words made me smile. Leaning back against his chest I let out a small sigh.  "I know."

And I did...most of the time.

"Although if you keep abusing me...on national television....and tossing water bottles on me that MAY change."

Rolling my eyes I smacked him in the arm.

"See! JUST LIKE THAT!"

I smacked him again.

"SOMEONE! QUICK! CALL 9-11!!"

"Michael!"  I laughed covering my eyes with my hands.  "Stop! Someone is going to seriously think your being abused."

"OW! LEXI NO! MY BRUISES ARE GOING TO SHOW THIS TIME!"

Rolling my eyes to the ceiling I threw my hands up in the air.

"I give up.  Your officially impossible."

"And just think.  Your stuck with me for the rest of your LIFE.  Scary huh?"
"Somedays."

Michael let out a low growl and reached for my waist.

"Kidding!"  I squealed squirming in his arms.

Michael cocked an eyebrow "Better be."

"Janet...I'm just going to say this right now.  I find it highly disturbing you're picking out lingerie for me to wear with YOUR BROTHER."

Janet gave me a saucy look and flipped her hair over her shoulder.  Unperturbed Janet ignored me and kept looking through the racks of push up bras.

"I wonder if they carry pasties..."  Janet continued, crinkling her nose and putting a bra back on the rack.

Dear God.  Someone shoot me now.

Large pink polka dots graced the cream colored walls and music pulsed in the store.  Flinging my bags over my shoulder I turned to look at another display and a large canvas picture of one of the Victoria's Secret models caught my attention. 

To look like that I'd have to not eat for a year.  What was she, a size -12? 

Shapely hips held a barely there lace pair of panties and large size DDD breasts hung out of a bronzed colored bra.  A waist the size of a Twinkie, the models long perfect hair fell down her shoulders in waves accenting her large blue eyes and pouty lips.    Glancing down at my relaxed fit jeans, striped white shirt, and brown leather coat and back up at her I thought about my granny panties and plain white bra and absently thought that maybe Janet had a SLIGHT point. 

Michael was fiercely attractive and 80 percent of the time covered in leather.  It wouldn't hurt to try a LITTLE harder. 

But still.  HE WAS HER BROTHER.  Even though she was right it was still disturbing.

"Lexi! Quick! Come try this on!"

Adjusting my shopping bags I turned back to look over at Janet.  Her bags down by her feet Janet had an armful of extremely provocative lingerie in her arms.  Raising one in particular in my direction her eyes twinkled mischievously.

"They're edible!!"

My breath caught in my throat.  Glancing around the large store I watched as store clerks glanced over at us and began giggling.  My cheeks turning a bright red quickly I ran forward, grabbed Janet's arm, and moved her to the register.

"Alright, that's it.  Just...fling them on the counter and I'll pay for them.

"Now that's my girl. Michael's going to be ripping these off with his teeth he's so anxious to get to you."

Letting out a low groan, I quickened my pace to the register and flung my master card out as the petite blonde clerk sorted through the pile and began ringing them up.

"Excuse me" Janet started, leaning over the counter.   The sales girl stopped checking for a moment and glanced between us for a moment before leaning closer to Janet.  "...Yes?"

"Do you carry condoms?"

"Janet!" Leaning my forehead on the counter for a second my heart beat wildly in my chest and my hands shook from sheer embarrassment.  Raising my head slightly I glanced over at Janet and gave her an incredulous look.  "Why would they carry condoms?   I whispered forcefully, refusing to look at the sales lady.  "And WHY do you need them?"

The sales girl coughed in embarrassment.  Quickly straightening, she looked back down at the merchandise and without a word continued checking us out.  Mumbling an apology at her under my breath I waited for Janet to answer.

"Lexi..."  Janet gave me a look and pointed down to the pile of stuff she had picked out for me.

Wait a minute.  Had she...?

"You asked for ME?"

My voice raised an octave and came out more like a squeal. 

"You asked for condoms for your BROTHER?"

Janet grinned, completely unashamed.  Turning back towards the sales clerk Janet twirled a strand of her long curly hair between her fingertips and drummed her other hand against the counter.   Unable to speak I waited for the girl to finish and avoided eye contact.

"Thank you Miss Adams please come again soon."

Grabbing the bags from her I was surprised to see how much they weighed.  Janet had embarrassed me so much when I was checking out I hadn't even glanced at the total.  Looking at my receipt as we headed out the door I stopped midstride and touched Janet's arm.

"$2,000?? Janet we were in Victoria's Secret there stuff isn't THAT expensive? Exactly how many things did you pick out?"

Lacing her arm through mine Janet grabbed the receipt from me, wadded it up, and tossed it over her shoulder. 

"You'll thank me later.  On your honeymoon when Michael's panting like a rabid dog."

"Janet!" Letting out a resigned sigh I shook my head and tried not to smile.  "You're ridiculous."
____________________________________________________________________________________

 Janet's POV

"Hey, do you care if we stop at the gas station up here?  I need to pick up some Excedrin."

On our way home from the mall, Lexi had been shuffling her legs rhythmically for the last ten minutes. Tapping my fingers on the tan leather steering wheel of my mercedes, I placed my sunglasses on top of my head and flipped on the turn signal.

"Which is your way of saying you need to take a leak."

Lexi's eyes widened, and shooting her a grin I flipped the turn signal on and turned into the station.

"You know it's true.  Don't give me that doe eyed innocent look."

Rolling her eyes, Lexi's long golden locks fell over her shoulders as she quickly dug in her purse and pulled out her lipstick. "How does Nahla put up with you?"

"Easy.  Bribery."

Lexi flipped the passenger mirror open and started applying the makeup.  Navigating through the parking lot I found a spot up front and turned off the car.

"Alright, captain Kirk how are we doing this?"

Glancing in the rearview mirror Greg, the newest member of Michael's security peered out from underneath his sunglasses and glanced around the empty parking lot.  "I think we're good.  I'll just go in with you guys."

"You heard him Lex.  Hope the stalls are big enough for two."

My large ostrich leather purse sat perched between both of us.  Grabbing the handles I tossed my keys in and looked up to see if Lexi was ready. 

"This..."  Lexi motioned to her face and narrowed her eyes.  "is all your fault."

A large pink streak leading from her top lip to her nose on her face, I coughed loudly and looked down so I wouldn't laugh.

"Was it something I said?"

Lexi tossed a kleenex at my head.

Grabbing the tissue, I tossed it in my purse and once Lexi was finally ready to go in both of us opened our doors and walked into the store.

"Be right back.."  Lexi called, heading torwards the restroom.

Looking up, I grinned.  "I thought you had to get some Excedrin?"

Lexi shot me another look and kept walking.

Turning away from Lex, I wandered up and down a couple of snack aisles before glancing over at the counter and seeing a tall, well-built man looking in my direction.  Dressed in tight black jeans and a white sleeveless top, I shot him a seductive smile and winked at him.

Leaning over the counter, the guy motioned me over with his finger. 

Boy certainly didn't play hard to get.

Shooting him another smile my heels clicked against the hard floor and I walked past the drink coolers, popcorn machine, and hot dog stand until I was standing in front of the counter.  Twirling my hair between my fingers I leaned forward until he was only a couple of inches away and batted my eyelashes. 

"Yes?"

"Janet?"

Lexi's voice sounded a few aisles away from behind me.  Raising my free hand in the air I snapped letting her know where I was at and kept my eyes on the cashier.

"Say"  He whispered, licking his lips and glancing down at my breasts.  "You got a phone number?"

Handing me a pen I grabbed it from him and smiled.  "Depends.  You got a girlfriend?"

He shook his head no.

"There you are"  Lexi perkily called, stopping beside me.  "You about ready to go?"

Scribbling my name and phone number on his hand, I saw Lexi pick up a magazine out of the corner of my eye.

"Just a sec Lex."

I handed the pen back to the clerk and he glanced down at his hand and smiled.  Shooting him one final look I turned around and glanced at Lex.

"Okay, now I'm ready."

Lexi's mouth hung open, and her arms were shaking.  Concerned I noticed her face had gone completely pale.  Placing a hand on her shoulder, I moved closer to her and peaked inside the magazine to see what had startled her.

No.

Staring back at both of us was a picture of Michael and Megan kissing with a caption that read " Meet the girl behind the scenes that has actually captured his heart."  Furious, I grabbed the magazine out of lexi's hands and tossed it across the room.

"Let's go."

Tears began coursing down her face.  The cute guy I had been flirting with a moment ago forgotten, I wrapped an arm around Lexi's waist and led her out the door.

"Lex it was probably photoshopped.  We'll get to the bottom of it."

Unable to speak, Lexi moved in a trance out the doors and to the car.  Greg's face showed confusion and concern as he opened the door for her.  Guiding her into the seat I bent down, placed her feet in the car, and buckled her in.

"...She ok?"

Glancing over at Greg I nodded slightly and turned back to look at Lex.  Sitting completely still, the only sign that Lexi was even conscious was the tears brimming in her eyes and coursing down her cheeks. 

When was this all going to end?

Michael had been hit left and right with allegations recently.  Not sure how much more either one of them could take I ignored the feeling in the pit of my stomach that told me this wasn't going to go away anytime soon.  Walking to the other side of the car I got in.

"Greg, tell Michael we've got an emergency and to cancel the rest of his day."

Greg's eyes wide, he glanced from me to his phone uncertainly.

"But..."

In no mood to argue, I gave him a stern look.  "Do it.  Tell him to meet us at Neverland in thirty minutes."

"I don't think-"

Shooting him another glare, I turned around in my seat and grabbed the cell phone.   Shooting Michael a quick text I glanced up at Greg and tossed it back in his lap.

"Alright then."  Turning back around I buckled my seat belt.  "Let's go."

Lexi's POV

Trees swayed with the wind and birds chirped merrily in the distance.  Everything  was so beautiful- the  long rolling hills and cobblestone pathways, the multitude of leaves falling and the tiny droplets of water falling from the fountain.  Lovingly I turned to the house and placing my hand on it I ran my fingertips along the exterior. 

There were so many memories here...so many happy times.  I'd give anything to go back to when everything felt so simple.  When I felt Michael's love with every fiber of my being.

Those days were gone now... and I wasn't sure they were ever coming back. It seemed like every time we took two steps forward something would happen that moved us three steps back.  Standing in front of the house Janet and I had just gotten home. From the looks of it Michael hadn't gotten home yet and the door was still locked so Janet was trying to figure out what key we needed to get in.  Unable to speak, to move, to think I wasn't being much help.    My arms were still trembling from the shock of seeing that photograph in the magazine earlier.  Nothing felt real, and everything felt wrong like I was in someone else's life.  Where had that picture come from? Why was all of this happening? Was I wrong to trust Michael so completely?  Every time I turned around there was something telling me I was being foolish; That my love for him was blinding me from what was really happening.

"Lex does this look right?"

Was everything I thought I knew a lie?

It hurt to breath. 

"Lex? Honey I need you to look at the keys and tell me which one it is."

"Do you think I was wrong?"

Wrapping my arms around my chest I turned to look at Janet.  Head down, Janet stopped sorting through the keys.  Letting out a frustrated growl Janet ran her fingers through her hair and looked up at me.

"Wrong about what?" She asked, tilting her head slightly.

Closing my eyes, I blew a breath into the cold misty air.  My leather coat rode up slightly as I leaned back against the wood railing.  Taking a step forward I look away from Janet and stared at the door.

"About him..."

Janet's heels clicked against the cobblestone as she reached forward and wrapped her arms around me.  Blinking my eyes rapidly I laid my head on her shoulder for a moment and closed my eyes.

"Lex to be honest I don't know what's going on.  But it's not in Michael to cheat on you.  You saw how he fell apart when you were gone before."

Stepping back out of the hug I looked up at her.  Nodding my head in agreement I unlaced my arms and rubbed my neck.

"I know, but Janet seriously...pictures, DNA tests...it's all just-"

Janet sighed.  "Too much, I know."

I heard a car in the distance and turned to look towards the gate.   A couple hundred feet away Michael's limo approached and waited as both of the doors opened.

 Inhaling a deep breath silently I wondered if I was ready for this conversation.  Seeing Michael made me push myself into gear. Quickly turning towards the door I pulled the keys from Janet's hand and flipped through the keys until I found the right one. 

"Now you find the key."

Turning the knob and pushing the door open, I glanced back at Janet and gave her a look.

Janet  smiled and both us grabbed our bags and stepped into the entryway.  Laying my bags by the door I slipped off my shoes and walked into the living room.  The front door opened as I sat down on the couch and Janet turned to look at me from the doorway.

"I'm just going to head upstairs."

"NO!" Giving her a pleading look I shook my head.  Watching my panicked expression Janet cocked her head and gave me a look.

"Lexi, to put my bags away before he gets inside.  Are you kidding? Do you seriously think I'm not going to be involved in this?  He has some explaining to do."

"Oh."

Janet turned and I heard her feet pounding against the stairs.  Laying back against the couch I crossed my legs and listened for the door.  Staring at the wall I tried to figure out what I was going to say.

"...Lexi?"

Startled I sat up hearing Michael's voice.  Turning my head I saw Michael enter from the hall.  Deciding he must have come in the back door I stared at him motionless for what felt like hours.  Dressed in a pair of jeans and a blue dress shirt Michael's hair was tossed back in a bun and he stared at me in concern.

"What's going on? What is the emergency? Are you okay?"

"No she's not okay!"

Before I had a chance to answer Janet came flying down the stairs.  Michael's eyes widened as he turned to look at her. 

"Janet? Your still here?"

Coming down the last couple of stairs Janet walked up to Michael and smacked him in the head.

"Hey! What was that for?"

Reaching in her back pocket, Janet grabbed her cell phone and shoved it in his face.

"Explain."

Michael gave her a look and took the phone from her.  Glancing between the two of them I gathered Janet must have found the picture in the magazine plastered somewhere on the internet.  Letting out a small groan I wondered just how much coverage it had actually garnered, and with fear I wondered if there were more than the one I saw.

"What the hell is this?"

Michael's voice rose an octave and letting out a low growl he glanced up at Janet.  "Come on, you don't seriously believe-" 

Janet smacked him in the head again.

"What was THAT for?" 

"I said EXPLAIN.  Not make excuses."

Michael seeing the pictures made everything feel real all over again.  Clenching my jaw so that I wouldn't tear up Michael glanced over to me and his face fell.

"Lexi...I wasn't even thinking.  You saw this...and you thought?  No..."
Michael handed the cell phone back to Janet and walked purposefully across the room over to the couch.  Moving around it Michael sat next to me and reached for my arm.

"Lex..."  Michael whispered softly, leaning towards me.

Quickly I jerked my arm back and glanced at the fireplace.   Amber flickers erupted from the logs and crackled.

"....Lexi"

I refused to look at him. 

"She said explain."

"I can't believe this!"

Michael jerked up off the couch and ran a hand through his hair.

"Lexi.." He tried again.

Refusing to answer I turned to look at him.

"You seriously..believe this?"

Not sure what I believed I didn't say anything.  Michael searched my face and looked at me crestfallen.  "I thought you both knew me better than this."

Without another word Michael turned and walked out of the room.  Hearing his footsteps echo through the house I heard the front door open and slam behind him.  Placing my face in my hands my emotions overtook me and I let out a sob.

Janet walked around the couch and over to me.  Sitting down she wrapped both arms around me and we leaned back.

"Lexi we'll figure this out.  It's just going to take time."

"I'm just not sure when we do we'll survive this."

Janet said nothing.

Flashback

I wonder if Michael's home yet from the studio.

Jiggling my keys in the large wooden door, the keys felt cold against my wrist as I turned the lock and pushed the door open.  Sliding my purse down from my shoulder I stepped into the entryway and glanced down.  Surprised I saw rose petals littered across the beige and gold braided rug against the doorway.  Placing my purse down on the floor I closed the door behind me and glanced around looking for Michael.

"Hello?  Michael?"

What was he up to?

Long loose curls fell against my temples as I reached down and unbuttoned my black dress coat.  Placing it gently on the gold brass coat rack I straightened the hem of my ivory lace dress.  Tugging it down my hips I slid my ivory heels off near the door and kept looking for Michael?

Where was he?

Noticing the rose petals made a trail up the stairway I smiled slightly and walked past the fireplace to go upstairs.  Placing my hands on the thick mahogany bannister  amber flames flickered in the fireplace beside me.  Slowly moving up the stairway I glanced between the petals and the seemingly empty hallway upstairs looking for any sign of Michael.  Still not seeing him when I reached the upstairs hall I noticed the trail of petals led farther down the hall and I followed them mystified. 

Where were they leading? 

The lights flickered in the dangling candelabra and various hues of pink and orange from the sunset danced against the beige walls and wooden molding of the hallway.  Noticing the petals stopped at the doorway in our bedroom I smiled realizing that Michael must be waiting for me on the other side of the doorway.

Placing my hand along the edge of the doorway I lightly knocked and slid my hand down to turn the lock.

"Michael...?"

Before I had a chance to open the door it swung open.  Standing in front of me, Michael stood wearing black dress slacks, a crisp orange dress shirt, and his hair was clasped back behind his neck.  His eyes searched mine as he stepped forward cupping my face in his hands.  Wrapping my arms around his waist, I closed my eyes and Michael leaned in brushing a kiss against my lips.  Stepping in closer to him I linked my arms behind him and parted my lips deepening the kiss.

Michael moved his hands from my face and slowly wrapped his arms around my waist.  Breaking the kiss Michael gently nuzzled my neck and a strand of hair dangling against his temple tickled my neck as he gave me a swift kiss and straightened.

"Hey" He grinned as I opened my eyes.  Breathless I smiled and bit my lip.  "Hey yourself." 

Unclasping one of my hands I took one of his curls between my fingers and twirled it. "...what's all of this?"

Michael's eyes searched my face.  Seeing my curiosity Michael chuckled and gave me a small wink.

"I'm wooing you."

I cocked an eyebrow.  "Wooing?"

Michael nodded in affirmation.  "Yep.  Wooing."

Michael's voice was teasing and taking another step closer to him I released my hands from his waist and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"I'm pretty sure I'm fairly wooed or I wouldn't be living here."

Sensing that I was only half teasing, Michael's eyes turned serious again and he leaned in and gave me another kiss.

"In that case..."

Michael's arms swung behind me and lifted me off the ground.  Letting out a small squeal in surprise I quickly adjusted in his arms and looked at the room as we walked in.  Shutting the door with his hip Michael spun around the room slowly for me to see.

"What do you think?"

Michael had lit the fireplace and scattered crimson red petals on the bed.  A bottle of champagne sitting in a bucket on the end table sitting next to a platter of dark and white chocolate covered strawberries soft music played in the background.  My heart warming seeing all of the effort he had put into making the evening nice I looked up at him and pulled him in for a kiss.

"I think...that I'm a lucky girl."
_____________________________________________________________________________________

Pulling the blanket over my lap the hot ceramic mug in my hand tingled against my palm as I lifted to my lips and took a drink.  Letting out a small sigh I looked out the window in the living room area and noticed the same orange and pink hues from the sunset that I had the day Michael had arranged that afternoon so many nights ago.  My heart aching I acknowledged how much different it looked tonight.  How much different everything looked tonight.

Looking around the room I soaked in the thick wooden beams and the various scattering of furniture.  Looking around the room my heart broke for the hundredth time this afternoon.  Everything in this room had a memory.  The couch, the chairs, the television...

Michael and I had spent so much time in this room.

What was I going to do?

It had been four days and Michael and I still weren't speaking.  I wanted so much for that to change...but I didn't know how to make it.  Images of him and Megan entered my mind every time I laid eyes on him. 

I fought back the chills that came with the memory.

Fortunately the times I had seen Michael had been few and far between.  Still angry that I hadn't believed him when I saw the picture Michael had buried himself in work the last few days. It wasn't that I didn't want to believe him...

But how could I?  Everything just seemed to keep pointing that I was being blind.  A fool.

Everything except what my heart was saying.

Letting out a sigh I sunk deeper against the couch cushions and laid my head back.  Everything felt so confusing and foreign.  My mind reeled trying to make sense of it and the soft plush cushions did nothing to ease the aching.  Everything in me hurt right now.

Hearing the door open behind me I forced myself not to look up and stared straight ahead out the window.  The door closed while I watched leaves scattering the ground from the trees.  A strong wind blowing mercilessly silently I wondered if our plants outside would survive.

"Lexi?"

I forced myself not to react to his voice and kept my head straight.  Taking another sip of my coffee Michael stepped into my view.  Trying not to look up at him Michael stood directly in front of me and sat down on the dark brown coffee table in front of me. 

"Lex, can we talk?"

Still sweaty from rehearsal Michael's hair clung to his face and his white t-shirt clung to his chest.  Swallowing a lump in my throat I look at him.  Michael's eyes searched my own.  Seeing the same sadness reflected in his eyes that I had seen in my own since seeing the magazine my resolve to not talk to him weakened and I nodded my head slowly.

"I'm listening" I said softly, looking down into my cup.

The room went quiet.  Running a hand through his hair in frustration Michael let out a small sigh and cleared his throat.

"Lexi...I, uh..."

Taking another sip of my coffee I readjusted on the couch and crossed my legs.  Reaching over for a throw pillow I pushed it under my arm and looked back up at him.

Michael's head down, he looked back up at me.  "I honestly don't know what's going on."

Swallowing another lump in my throat I looked back down at my coffee.  "That makes two of us."

Both of us got quiet again.   Looking at my half empty mug my mind swirled and desperately I tried to make sense of everything.  Desperate to find out what was going on I forced myself to sound nonchalant.

"You know you could tell me if it was true...I wouldn't be mad."

Had I just said that?

My ridiculous statement made Michael glance up and cock an eyebrow.  Leaning towards me Michael clasped his hands in front of him and let out a slow chuckle.

"Lex you are so awkward."

Blushing, I kept my head down and rolled my eyes.

"I know."

"So you don't care if I have sex with, and impregnate other women huh?"

Rolling my eyes again I let out a small groan and lifted the mug in front of my face.

"I didn't mean it."

Obviously.

Michael shifted on the coffee table and chuckled.

"Seriously Lex."

Michael leaned forward and gently tug the mug from me.  Placing my hands in my lap I looked up and saw Michael sit it next to him before looking back over at me.  Reaching out a hand Michael gently lifted my hand off of my lap and took it in his.

"Lexi...I'm not going to lie.  I'm still hurt that you don't believe me.  But seriously.  Why after all that we had been through, after all of the time we had been together would I EVER risk losing you?  Lexi you were in the damn hospital when she's claiming this all supposedly started. You are more of a part of me than even my music.  Lex do you really think that all of these years I've been doing this behind your back?"

Looking down at his hand I blinked a few times to keep from crying.    "I don't know" I whispered biting my cheek.  "I just...don't know. Are relationship at times has been so hard maybe you weren't sure it was worth the effort? I don't know. "

Michael's hand slipped from mine.  Looking back up at him in confusion Michael scooted forward more and placed both of his hands on the sides of my face.  Searching my eyes Michael looked at me seriously and furrowed his brows.

"Not worth the effort? Lexi..."  Michael pulled his hands from my face and wrapped them around my waist.  Pulling me onto his lap Michael captured my lips with his.  Taken off guard, I didn't resist.  Feeling his lips on mine again after so long felt so good that I completely lost myself in it.  The feeling of his breath against mine, the taste of his kiss...

Parting my lips slightly something inside me broke and I yielded to the strength of it.  My heart pounded in my ears and Michael's lips devoured mine passionately as he held me against his strong, firm chest.  His arm circled around me tighter.  Breathing him in, I shuddered. 

"Michael..."

Michael's lips trailed from my mouth to my chin, my neck.  Breathing heavily Michael moved his hands back to the sides of my face and looked into my eyes.

"I could never" He started seriously, moving his head close enough that our foreheads touched. "...NEVER think you weren't worth the effort."

I had to trust him.

Realizing I wasn't strong enough to deal with the implications him lying would bring I decided in that moment to believe him and taking in a deep breath I nodded my head slowly and leaned down to lay against his chest.  Encircling his arms around me again Michael pressed a kiss to the top of my head and held me.

"I love you...so much."

"I love you too."

"Baby are you about ready to go?"

Prisms of light cast an illuminating glow in the large walk in closet and shards of light glittered against the tan walls and dark mahogany floors.  Glancing behind me to look at Michael my heart faltered seeing him dressed in a dark black suit.  Tailored to fit him perfectly, Michael's crisp white dress shirt underneath showed his firm athletic stomach and his matching gray tie was a stark contrast against his perfectly arched eyebrows and warm brown eyes. 

"You look amazing." I breathed, turning around to look at him.  Running my hands along the front of my dress, the intricate crystal detailing on the left side felt rough beneath my fingertips.  I took a step towards him and nervously waited for him to say something.  Michael's eyes roamed over my body.  Nervously I touched my neck and glanced down.  My dress was a silk ivory that clung down to my knees and then cut off to a sheer white overlay.  It was something completely different than all of the other dresses I had tried on before and Michael had never seen me in it.

I looked back up at Michael and saw Michael still watching me.  Turning around in a circle I smiled when Michael came back into view.  The scent of black orchid cologne drifted across the room.  Taking a step forward, Michael closed the distance between us and wrapped his arms around my body.  Laying a gentle kiss on my forehead, Michael's breath tickled against my face.

"Mmm...you look beautiful."

Smiling under Michael's praise I laid my head against his shoulder for a moment and felt his heart beat against mine.  Michael's warm, strong embrace felt intoxicating and I shivered.  Nestling my face against his neck I inhaled his scent again and enjoyed the feeling of his muscular frame up against my own.

"I don't want to move." I murmured, unclasping my arms and wrapping them around his neck.

Michael's steady breathing and heartbeat lured me into a calm. Strands of his dark curly hair tickled against my exposed neck as we stood there, unmoving and after a few moments I opened my eyes and looked back up at him.

"Well...as late as we are..."  Michael's voice was soft and held a hint of teasing.  Looking up at him I noticed Michael's eyes were twinkling and his mouth was twisted slightly trying to keep from laughing.  Narrowing my eyes in mock anger I lightly slapped his shoulder and unhooked my arms from around him.


"Just let me get my shoes on."


Rows of clothes surrounded us.  Grabbing my clutch off one of my shelves Michael reluctantly moved out of the way so I could exit the closet and followed me into the bedroom.  Moving over towards the bed I sat down on the plush down comforter and bent over to slip my sandals on.

"You know..."  Michael sighed good-naturedly and tilted his head towards the doorway.  "If you hadn't changed your dress about a dozen times..."

I struggled with the straps of the sandals.  Hearing Michael's teasing again I glanced up and shot him a dirty look.

"Hush.  Or maybe you should have brought Janet with you instead."

"At least maybe then I'd have been on time."

I looked up at Michael again and saw him smirking in my direction.   I reached for the shoe box sitting next to me and tossed it across the room at him.

"Hey!"

Returning Michael's smirk I smoothed out the front of my dress and stood up. 

"Hey yourself" 

I shot Michael a cheeky wink and rolling his eyes Michael grabbed my coat from the night stand next to him and held it open for me.  Adjusting my hair so that the coat wouldn't flatten it I turned around and slid my arms into it. 

Michael's arms slid around my body one final time and I began buttoning my coat as Michael leaned over and gave me a swift kiss on the neck.

"I guess you're worth the wait..." Michael mumbled, half teasing.  Michael unclasped his arms around me and I smiled and linked my arm through is.

"I guess I am too."

Michael let out a groan and swatted me on the butt playfully.  Giggling I leaned in to him and both of us headed out the door down the hallway.

"I'll call for the car."

_____________________________________________________________________________________

The flashes from the paparazzi cameras blinded both Michael and I as we stepped out of the limo in front of the large, ornately carved stone building.   I turned to look at Michael as soon as I got out of the car and I had to squint to see him.  Michael looked straight ahead at all of the cameras and gave them all a stiff smile and wave.  Wrapping an arm protectively around my waist Michael gently nudged me forward and both of us moved towards the entrance.

"Michael!"

"Michael over here!"

The flashing continued at a frenzy and people leaned over both sides of the barricade desperate to get his attention.  Frank, who was on duty tonight, stood only a few feet behind us and I heard him grumbling protectively behind us as we stepped up the stairs and walked through the doors.

"Easy killer.."  I whispered only loud enough for Michael and Frank to hear.  "I think we're safe now."

Beside me Michael coughed, trying not to laugh out loud and I heard Frank grumble in response behind me as both Michael and I stopped near the entrance at the coat check.

Michael released my waist and went behind me to help me take off my coat.  Looking down I slowly unbuttoned my coat and felt it slide off behind me as Michael tugged it off and turned to give it to the girl behind the counter.  Sitting on a stool reading a magazine, the tall leggy brunette popped a bubble from her gum while Michael cleared his throat.  Letting out a small aggravated sigh the girl glanced up from her magazine with a scowl on her face.  Her blue eyes darkening, the girl looked me over and then glanced over at Michael.  Recognition dawned on her face instantly.  Opening her mouth to form an "O" the scowl lifted instantly from the girl's face and the magazine slipped through her fingers and fell to the floor.

Resisting the urge to laugh Michael gave her a charismatic smile and laid my coat on the counter.

"I'm sorry to bother you..." He started, shooting her a wink.  "But do you think you could put this back there for us?"

Her eyes never leaving Michael's face the girl quickly hopped off the stool and rushed forward the counter.  Nodding her head wildly, quickly she picked up the coat and clutched it to her chest.

"Y-yes Mr. Jackson, or course.  I can so totally do that..I LIVE to do that...I"

Michael gave her another warm smile and Frank snorted behind us watching the exchange.   Taking a few steps forward Michael said a few more kind words to her and then turned back to look at us. 
"You ready to go inside?"

Biting the inside of my cheek, my eyes were filled with amusement and I nodded my head knowing that if I tried to speak I'd burst out laughing.  Michael's eyes twinkled merrily seeing the amusement on his face and laying a hand on my back Michael nudged me along again.

"Of course, Mr. Jackson" I whispered, as soon as we were out of earshot from the coat check.  "I can so totally do that. I LIVE to do that."

Michael nudged me in the side from my teasing and letting out a small giggle I glanced around the room.  Beautifully decorated, the expansive room had been transformed for tonight's event.   Decorated in hues of red and silver, dozens of rounded tables had rose petal and candle centerpieces spread out on the crisp white table clothes.  The seats decked out with matching chair covers and large red and silver bows tied behind them, a large stage sat at the very end of the room and was decorated with shimmering Christmas lights.  Glancing around at the vaulted ceilings and tall molded columns, I heard Frank let out a low whistle of appreciation. 

"Do you know where we are sitting?"  I turned and looked up at Michael.

Michael glanced around the room and shrugged his shoulders.  "I'm sure someone will show us."

Not but a few moments later a woman in charge of the event approached us and led us through the aisles to a table close to the stage.  Giving her a smile in return Michael carefully pulled out my chair behind me and waited as I straightened my dress and sat down.

"It looks like someone else is sitting here too." Michael commented taking his seat.

Laying my clutch down on the table next to me, I realized that Michael was right and saw two more seats with place cards sitting across from us.  Curiously I nudged Frank and asked him to look at who it was.  Frank picked up the place card and handed it to me.

Usher with guest

My eyes widened in surprise and without thinking I let out a squeal.

"Michael!" Quickly I turned to him.  Michael cocked an eyebrow and gave me a look. 

 "Look! Usher is sitting HERE! OMG! How do I look?!"

Michael's eyebrows rose and I glanced frantically over at Frank.  "What am I GOING TO SAY?" I continued, my breath caught in my throat.  "What if I spill something?"

Not typically star struck, my heart pounded in my chest realizing that Usher, my favorite singer, was going to be sitting next to us.  I had been a fan of his my entire life. 

Okay.  Favorite singer other than Michael.  But I was obviously used to seeing him.

"Really Lex?"

Michael chortled next to me.  I was way too excited to even reply.  Immediately I started looking around the room seeing if I could get a glimpse of him.  My eyes roamed over the crowd unsuccessfully.

"THERE HE IS!"

Usher and another women stood at the entrance.  Dressed in a gray suit, he pulled a pair of sunglasses off his head and waited while his date took off her coat and handed it over to the check. 

"Michael!!! Look!"

Everyone in the room stopped and looked at me.  Suddenly realizing I must have shouted a bit too loudly I quickly looked away  and blushed.

"Alright.  I'm ready to leave now." I groaned, slinking down in my chair.  Michael's giggling turned into full blown laughter beside me and Frank doubled over onto the table gasping for air.  Biting the inside of my cheek I hesitantly looked over to where Usher had been moments before and saw him and his date looking over at me.  A slow smile on his face, Usher shot me a wink and quickly I looked away.

"He SAW me" I whispered furiously.  Michael laughed even harder and I furrowed my brow and shot him a dirty look.

"I'm sorry Lex..." Michael's eyes twinkled, and he covered his mouth.  "It's just you don't normally-"

"Well I guess we're sitting here too huh?"

Startled, I looked up to see that Usher and his date had made it over.  My face burned with embarrassment.  Unable to speak I gave a brisk nod and turned and looked towards the stage. 

"From the way your acting, I'm guessing that scream was about me, huh baby girl?"

I was going to die. 

I heard Frank snickering still and I looked over at Michael to see his laughter had dimmed and some of the merriment had left his eyes.  Thankful he had evidently calmed some so he didn't embarrass me further I gave him an appreciate smile and looked across the table.
"So this is your date?"  Michael questioned, nodding his head in the direction of the girl he had come with.  Long brown curls fell down her back and wide brown eyes stared at Michael through thick lashes.  Shooting him a small smile the girl shook her head negatively and reached forward to shake his hand.

"No, nothing like that. I'm his sister. Bristol."

"Oh." Michael's voice stiffened. 

What was his problem?

I gave Michael a curious look but his eyes remained trained across the table.  Deciding I'd have to ask him later what was going on I reached forward and grabbed the crystal water goblet in front of me.  Lifting it to my lips I took a sip.

"So I know who he is, but you are...?"

Usher's kind tone instantly made the embarrassment from earlier dissipate.  I sat the water glass down and glanced over at him.  Giving him a small smile I forced the nervousness from my voice.

"Lexi."

"My fiancée."

Michael's voice took on a very protective element to it and, inwardly groaning I realized that Michael's problem was that he was jealous. 

This...could be a problem.

"I wish I could find a girl as beautiful as you."

Taken off guard I blushed and hesitantly looked over at Michael.  "Thank you.."

"I'll introduce you to someone."

Michael's voice low, it almost came out as a growl.  Coughing uncomfortably I shifted in my seat and reached across the table for Michael's hand.   Running my hand along the top of it, Michael quickly opened his palm and took my hand.

"....Thanks." 

Usher glanced over at Michael like he had lost his mind. 

"Soo..."  I changed the subject and looked across the table.  "Are you speaking tonight?"

Usher gave me another smile and shook his head no.  "Just here in support.  I donate every year...it's a good cause."

"Oh yeah? How much?"

Uncomfortably, Usher looked over at Michael again and raised an eyebrow.

"Excuse me?"

Michael refused to back down and returned his look.  "How much? I bet I donate more."

Bristol, Frank, and I all looked at each other.  

"Michael..." Bristol finally said.  "How about you, are you presenting?"

Eyeing Usher across the table, Michael smirked and nodded his head.  "I'm the keynote."

I shifted in my chair and cleared my throat.   "Bristol, Usher, this is one of my best friends and one of Michael's bodyguards Frank." 

Frank nodded his head and both of them said hello.  An uncomfortable silence fell over the table.  Deciding I better continuing taming my excitement at seeing Usher I turned to look at the stage and waited for someone to approach the microphone.  A few moments passed, and the crowed hummed behind us as someone finally took the stage and tapped the microphone.

"Attention!" The small swift movements on the mic made a loud thumping noise.  Everyone!"

The woman at the microphone was middle aged and dressed in a black shimmering off the shoulder dress.  Her hair pulled behind her in a French twist the woman was beautiful.  It took her a few more tries to finally get the crowd died down enough for her to speak.  Finally able to get their attention, the woman went into a long talk about the charity and it's contributions.  As soon as she was finished she turned to look towards our table.

"Now, before we eat our special guest Mr. Michael Jackson would like to say a few words." The stage lights illuminated our table and Michael released my hand and stood.  Giving the crowd a small wave Michael smiled and walked torwards the stage.  I watched him, proud of the man he was.  Michael took the steps slowly and when he reached the center of the stage Michael shook the women's hand and gave her a quick peck on the cheek.  Blushing the woman smiled and walked to her seat at the edge of the stage. 

"This charity..." Michael started, bending down to reach the microphone attached to a stainless steel platform "Means the world to me."

Michael's eyes shone with sincerity and passionately Michael laid out the reasons he had supported them for so many years. 

"Is that her?" 

"Yes, that's the girl.  Can you believe she actually showed her face in public?"

Furtive whispers at the table next to us drew my attention away from Michael's speech and I glanced over to see two women looking my way. 

Quickly they glanced away and, shaking my head slightly I turned back to look at the stage.

Michael paused for a moment and looked over at me. 

I love you  I mouthed making him smile.  Looking back down at his index cards Michael continued speaking.

"If my fiancée had gotten another woman pregnant I'd have dumped him right then."

"Do you think she's with him for the money?

"Probably.  She looks like a gold digging skank."

The women's voices once again pulled my attention away from Michael's speech and shocked I listened to them continue.

"Women like that have no self respect."

"She probably doesn't even care. .  He probably just shoves some credit cards in her direction and she lets him do whatever."

"She probably even makes him pay for sex."

Tears brimmed in my eyes hearing the women's hateful remarks and I looked down at the table trying not to cry. 

"Doesn't look like she'd be worth much" The women snickered.  "Slut like her probably has a whole mess of diseases."

I looked over at Frank to see if he had overheard the conversation but his head was tucked down and smiling he was reading a text from someone.  I decided it was probably best that he hadn't and glanced back down at the table.  Reaching for my goblet I took another drink of water and blinked my eyes to keep my tears at bay.

"He should have definitely married Diana Ross a few years back."

I forced my arm to be steady and I lowered my glass to the table.  I felt completely disconnected and humiliated. 

Was that really what people thought of me?

The women's cackling and insults continued and I did my best to ignore them.  A few minutes passed, when suddenly I glanced up to see Usher staring down the women near us.   Both of the women's giggling died down, seeing the stern look on his face, and forcefully Usher scolded them.

"Excuse me ladies, but if you have nothing better to do than insult a perfectly kind, beautiful women who is obviously worth the both of you combined..." Leaning over the table he paused and looked them up and down.   "I suggest you  take your cackling outside.  Before I get security."

The women's jaws hung open.

Surprised, I looked back over at him and swallowed a lump in my throat.   Usher twisted back in his seat and turned to look at me.  Giving me a sympathetic look Usher nodded towards the women and waved his hand.

"Don't worry about them. " He smiled gently.  "Some people have nothing better to do than to spread viscous gossip.  Even at a charity banquet.

"Wait...what just happened?"

Frank's confused voice interrupted my response and I whispered a quick thank you to him before turning to look at Frank.

"Nothing..." I smiled affectionately.  "He took care of it."

Frank's dark blue eyes grew stormy and he laid his cell phone down on the table.  Glancing around the room Frank searched the crowd for some indication of what had just happened.

"Frank..." I tried again.

"Hey what's going on?"

Michael slid into his seat beside me and shot Frank, who was still staring down the crowd, a puzzled look.  Michael's brows furrowed together, he looked between the two of us and I gave him a reassuring smile.

Usher and I shot each other a look.

"Nothing.  Everything's fine."

 ____________________________________________________________________________________

Placing my clutch on the bed I leaned down and unbuckled my sandals.  Michael was across the room, undoing his tie and I heard him grumbling to himself in the closet.  Releasing the buckle on my second shoe I slid them both off and looked up to see him walk back in the room.  Biting the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing I watched Michael take his suit jacket off and put it on a hanger.

"So your SURE while I was gone he wasn't hitting on you again?"

Rolling my eyes I reassured Michael for the hundredth time. 

"No honey.  He was not."

Michael's piercing gaze studied my face.  I placed my hands on the bed and got up and walked over to him.  I walked until I was just a few inches away and Michael's bottom lip was still puckered and his forehead drawn in concern.  Leaning up on my tippy toes I gave him a light kiss and began unbuttoning his dress shirt.

"He was just helping me with something."

"...Or helping himself to you."

I chuckled at Michael's jealous retort and wrapped my arms around his waist.  A strand of Michael's hair dangled in front of his eye, and Michael's face burned with jealousy as he stared at me under his perfectly arched eyebrows. 

"Michael..." I tried not to laugh.  "I promise.  Nothing was going on."

Michael muttered under his breath and leaning up again I captured his lips in a kiss.  Michael's murmuring slowed, and then stopped completely.

"Then what did happen..."  Michael asked, laying his forehead against mine after we broke the kiss.

Sighing, I leaned my head against Michael's chest and retold what had happened while he was on stage.   Michael's arms tightened around me, hearing what had actually happened, and he let out a low growl when I got to the part about me being "diseased."

"Are you kidding me?"

Michael's neck tightened and his features drew together angrily.  

"If I'd have heard them I'd have..."

Michael's heart beat was racing, and he launched into a long of expletives threatening everyone under the sun.  Quietly I listened to his ranting until he was done and relaxed against him, loving how protective he was being.

"Lexi...baby I'm so sorry."

Releasing one of his hands from around my waist, Michael helplessly ran a hand through his hair and looked back down at me.  The anger draining from his expression Michael looked beaten and unsure of himself.  Reaching up to caress his face I ran my fingers over his lips to hush him.

"Michael...let me ask you a question."

Michael looked down at me miserably and then nodded.

"Did you cheat on me?"

Michael shook his head no.

"Have you ever even been tempted to cheat on me?"

Michael shook his head no again.

I moved my hand back down and laid it on his chest.

"Then how can you apologize?  You haven't done anything except be who you are."

Shaking his head slightly Michael opened up his mouth to speak again and I reached up and silenced him again.

"No. I know what you're going to say."  Mimicking his voice I continued "Yeah...but Lex if I didn't do this for a living..."

Slowly Michael's face broke into a small smile.  Smiling back at him I continued.

"Baby you can't apologize for being who you are."  Letting out a sigh I motioned torwards the doorway.  "Yes, life may be easier if you had a normal job, but If you didn't do this for a living you couldn't help as many people as you do either."  Michael's eyes softened and he reached up and brushed my neck with his hand.  Gently kissing his chin I looked up at him.  "Think about all of the kids you've helped...all the charities you've funded." Michael blushed and glanced away from me.  Moving my hand to his face I gently guided his head back to look at me and I gazed at him lovingly.  "

"Don't ever apologize for who you are...and don't even think about apologizing for bringing me into this chaos.  Because I'm not even a little sorry that we're together."

"I love you.." Michael whispered around a lump in his throat.

"I love you too."

"Are you sure you want to go out and face these piranhas?  Look at them they have their faces up to the WINDOWS!"

I grabbed my wool coat from the coat rack in Janet's front hall and let out a resigned sigh turning back to look at her.  Dressed in black riding books, dark denim skinny jeans, and a form fitting black turtleneck Janet's back was turned to me and she was peering out the double paned window in her dining room in disbelief. 

Behind her, I could see the hoard of paparazzi that had been following me the last few days.  Flashes and questions being screamed could still be clearly heard even though I was several yards away and indoors.  Letting out a resigned sigh I adjusted my hair and tied my scarf.

"Yes...i'm sure.  They aren't going to dictate my life."

Michael's paternity results were due back any day.  For some reason, this was way bigger news than it should have been and I had several networks following me anxious to see my reaction in case it was positive.

My stomach rolled at the thought and I pushed the cloud of doubt that had been trying to hover over me.

It would be negative.  I told myself, turning my thoughts to something else.

"Nahla's set over at mom's?"  I asked Janet changing the subject.

Janet let the curtain shut over the window and turned back around to look at me.  Giving me a playful eye roll she nodded her head.

"Oh yes.  I can imagine she's going to be a holy terror when she gets back."

Janet walked across the room and into the entryway and started getting her things together.  Chuckling, I had to agree with her.  Grandma Jackson was definitely known for spoiling the grandkids.  Right about now I could imagine Nahla was getting everything she could possibly want and more.

"Frank!" I turned towards the living room and saw him lounging on the couch.  Sunglasses sat perched on top of his head and today he was dressed casually in a pair of jeans and a long sleeve burgundy sweater.   

"Huh? What?"

Frank turned to look at me and grimaced, realizing it was about time to go. Nodding my head in his direction I walked over and stopped behind the couch.

"Maybe you'll see your lover."

Frank let out a low growl and Janet and I both snickered. 

"Or you could always stay back..."

Frank shot me another look.

"Nice Try."

I knew there was no way that was going to happen.  Frank had been trailing me ever since the madness had started with the media.  Well...trailing was probably too casual a word.  Frank had dismissed my normal security and demanded to be on my service 24/7.  He wasn't trailing, he was stalking.

"Do we seriously have to go to the bridal shop again today?"  Frank grumbled, covering a yawn with his hand.  "That woman at the bridal shop is..."

Frank's feet were perched up on the coffee table and his brown loafers just barely grazed the wooden coasters as he reluctantly swung his feet down and got off the couch.

"Passionately and madly in love with you?"  I finished for him, shooting him a cheeky grin.

Frank shot me a look.  "Lexi, she grabbed my crotch last time and told me I was a "massive" find. That's not madly in love that's psychotic."

"Get over it. We've got to find her a dress."

Janet's voice was firm and very matter of fact.  Looping her purse handles over her arm Frank mimicked Janet behind her back and I turned around so I wouldn't laugh and waited for Janet to open the door.

"Wait!"

Frank's grumbling behind him, Frank quickly came in-between us and looped his arms between ours.  "Alright, now we can go."

Bending frontwards to look at me, Janet searched my face.

"You ready for this?"

Inhaling a deep breath I nodded.  "Yes."

Frank turned and gave me a protective look.  Furrowing his brow, Frank made eye contact with me. "Just don't answer any questions, ok? That will only set them off more."

Biting my inside cheek I nodded and gripped Frank's arm tighter.  "And if any of them attempt to touch you be prepared, im swinging you into my waist and tucking you under my arm.

I gave him an impatient nod.  "I know, I know. We have this conversation every time we go somewhere."

"Excuse me for trying to keep you alive."

"...Or smother me."  I muttered, reaching for the doorknob and open the door.

"Lexi! Lexi! Have you heard anything from the court yet?"

"Has Michael tried to call you?"

"Has Megan tried to make contact?"

A gust of wind whipped into the front entryway as we stepped out into the front porch and camera flashes blinded all of us as we tried to move forward towards the SUV Michael had given me for Christmas the year before. 

Standing on my tippy toes on the porch, I spotted the red Mercedes a few yards away and I clutched the keys in my hand.  Keeping my head turned away from the cameras, Frank gently guided us both down the stairs and we pushed through the crowd the best we could.

"Lexi!"

"Lexi over here!"

The yelling was relentless and wryly I thought about how fortunate I was to have worn my brown cowboy boots instead of sandals since there were so many people pushing around us.  Frank's arms were locked around us even tighter than normal, moving through the crowd, and I knew that he was on high alert with the intensity of the crowd. 

"Do you believe that Michael's tests are going to come back negative?  How does it feel knowing that the results may be positive?"

Gritting my teeth, I kept my eyes trained in the direction of the vehicle and was thankful when we finally got close enough that Frank could open the doors and let us in.

"Your both going in the back" Frank ordered, leaving no room for argument.  "That way I can slide you both in and lock the doors.  Lexi give me your keys."

Recognizing that tone as one I would not win an argument with I pulled a strand of hair from my face and slipped the keys in his pocket.  Frank stopped far enough away from the car that he could release our arms and slide us right in.  Letting me in first, Frank released my arm and placed his hand on the small of my back guiding me in.

"Thanks..." 

The vanilla caramel scent from my air freshener hit me as soon as I climbed in and sat on the tan leather seats.  Adjusting the bottom hem of my grey wool skirt that peaked out beneath my jacket I swiftly moved over and watched Janet slide in beside me.

"Watch it with those cameras" Janet growled, placing her hand on the seat and hopping in.  Laying her purse on the floorboard Janet grumbled and shot death glares outside.

"This...is ridiculous."

Nodding my head in agreement I heard the door slam and I leaned back against the headrest and crossed my legs.

"At least it will be over soon."

_____________________________________________________________________________________

"Lexi, darrrling! You look positively radiant!"

Surrounded by mirrors, I was standing on a white platform runway in the front of Frank and Janet.  Dressed in one of the dresses up for consideration, I slowly twirled around to look at their faces.

"Well..." I bit my lower lip and looked at them both expectantly.  "What do you think?"

Frank had been scowling all morning due to the constant flirtations from my bridal consultant, Candy.  Flipping through a magazine, Frank looked up quickly and then stopped seeing me in my dress.   I shot him a small smile and nervously smoothed out the skirt.

"Lele..."

Frank laid the magazine down on his lap and smiled.  "You look incredible."

"I think she looks fat."

I raised my eyebrows and, surprised, glanced over at Janet.  Sitting forward in her chair Janet glanced between Frank and I and shrugged her shoulders.

"What? It's true. That dresses train makes her butt look the size of California."

"I think you look diviiine!"

Candy's sugary sweet tone elected another groan from Frank. Ignoring Janet's criticism I turned back around and looked at the dress.   It was form fitting at the top, with a sweetheart neckline.  The top resembled a French bustier, but with the subtle touches of lace and a thick soft pink ribbon around the waist gave it a romantic design.  Fanning out at my hips the dress was covered in small pinched silk ruffles and in the back had a long train that the bow from my waist trailed down.   Running my hand along the clusters of ruffles I tried to imagine Michael's expression seeing me in the dress and my stomach flipped.

"What do you think Lex?"

I looked back in the mirror to glance at Frank and tried not to smile seeing the petite consultant sitting in a chair right next to him.  Frank looked annoyed.  Running her hands up and down his arm, she tried subtly to lean over him and pretend to read an article. 

Reaching up to stretch the collar of his shirt Frank coughed and did his best to ignore her.  Keeping his eyes trained on me I shrugged my shoulders and looked back at the dress.

"I like it..." I finally said.  "But it's so expensive."

"I still think it makes her look fat."

Shooting Janet a look she raised her hands in surrender and flipped her hair over her shoulder.

"You wanted my opinion.  I think you should wear one of those calf length dresses that are sheer.

Not going to happen.

"Like hell she is."

Frank's voice was authoritively overprotective and I had to laugh looking at Janet's face. 

"What's wrong with her showing a little skin?"

Frank crinkled his nose in disgust.  "Lele showing skin?  Are you kidding?  It's like finding your sisters picture in playboy."  Alarmed at the thought Frank whipped his head around to look at me again and narrowed his eyes.

"Which, by the way, better NEVER happen."

Rolling my eyes, I tuned out their bickering and looked back again at the dress.  Even though I knew Michael could easily afford it, I still felt guilty paying so much for a dress I would only wear once.  Not to mention that when I graduated with my degree in journalism this dress would easily eat my paycheck up for a year.  The thought was nauseating.

"Darling, have you decided?"

The sugary sweet tone erupted from behind me again.  Giving a strained smile to the consultant I shook my head no. 

"Not yet."

Turning her nose in the air, she turned her attention back to Frank.  Slowly creeping over the arm rest for his chair, her hands "accidentally" rubbed against his chest again and Frank freaked out.  Hopping out of the chair, Frank gave her a look of disbelief and ran a hand through his hair.

"What is your dysfunction?"  He growled, jumping back as she stood quickly in front of him and reached her arms around his neck.

"Oh I'm sorry."  She fluttered her eyes and looked him over.  "But my, aren't you a strong one."

I should have come alone.

Instantly regretting bringing anyone with me I cringed seeing Frank trip over the chairs and land backwards. 

"Are you okay?"  I giggled, watching the consultant scramble to help him up.

Frank was hoisted up by his arm and, as he was brushing off his sweater he gave me a tight look and growled.

"What. Do. You. Think."

"Excuse me, Candy ?"  The consultant stopped trying to brush Frank off and looked over at me. Straightening  her hair, she clasped her hands in front of her waiting for my question "Do you have any matching shoes?"

"Of course! Be right back!"

Quickly she scurried away and headed back up front to the displays.  I turned around to peak around the corner to make sure she was out of earshot and then I turned to look at Frank, a smirk on my face.

  "I think" I finally responded to Frank's question.  "That you must have some sort of animal magnetism today."  Raising my hands up to mimic an animal pawing I heard Janet let out a loud snort and Frank's face turned suspiciously cordial. 

"Come here a sec.  Lex."

Recognizing that gleam in his eye I took a step back and bumped into the full length mirror.  I raised my arms in front of me and let out a squeal as he shot towards me.  Whipping his arms around my waist Frank lifted me over his shoulder and began tickling me.

"Frank! I'm in a wedding dress!"

Janet ignored us, used to our antics, and I watched her lick her finger and turn a page of the magazine she was reading as I tried desperately to dodge his fingers.

"Frank!" I giggled, my face in his sweater.  "Quit it!"

My pleas did nothing to deter him and my legs floundered against the petticoats and layers of silk.  Using one of my arms to loop around his neck so I didn't fall to the ground, I shifted violently on his shoulder. 

"What is going ON!"

Frank's attack suddenly stopped, and I cringed hearing the consultant's voice behind us.  Both of us taken off guard, Frank accidentally loosened his hold on me too much and I went toppling off his shoulder and onto the ground.  Letting out a shrill scream silk went flying in the air like a parachute and I placed my hands in front of me trying to lessen the impact. 

"Lele! Are you okay?"

Frank's hand slipped around my waist as he tried to catch me, but the yards of fabric made it impossible to get a hold of me correctly and Frank let out a loud "Umph" as he tripped in the fabric and landed underneath me.

My hair flew in my face and the white marble floor felt cool underneath my palm as I tried to push myself up.  Shoving the hair out of my eyes I glanced wildly around the piles of fabric and saw Frank on his hands and knees climbing out from under the train. 

Frank wiped off his sweater and turned to look at me on the floor. His eyes twinkling in merriment, both of us dissolved in laughter again once we looked at each other.

"We'll take it..." Janet muttered behind us. 

_____________________________________________________________________________________

"Is he in here?"

Anna nodded and motioned for me to go inside.  Mouthing a thank you I opened the door to the radio station's holding room and saw Michael sitting on a tan colored loveseat, across the room from Frank Dileo.  Michael's forehead puckered in concentration, I gave Frank a small wave and made my way over to Michael who was pouring over some papers.  Jiggling a pencil in his right hand, Michael's eyebrows were drawn together in concentration and he was slowly mouthing the words he was reading.  Deciding to surprise him, I placed my purse down next to a large buffet table at the front of the room.  My stomach rumbled smelling the food, but I was too excited to see Michael to care.  Carefully I walked slowly across the room, trying to keep my boots from hitting the light brown carpet too loud.  A couple of feet away from him I dodged the papers in his lap and, looping my arms around his neck quickly slid on his lap.

"Hey there" I grinned.  Michael's eyebrows shot up in his surprise and a slow smile spread on his face.  Keeping his eyes on me Michael laid the papers down beside him and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"There's my girl" He teased, leaning in to give me a kiss.  Sighing contently against his lips I adjusted myself on his lap and leaned up against his chest.  "What are you doing here?" he questioned.

Tilting my head so that I could see him, quickly I relayed the details of my afternoon.   "So...since we got done early I thought I'd come over and surprise you!"

Michael's smile broadened, hearing about the bridal shop, and his eyes twinkled merrily while he brushed a kiss on the back of my neck.

"That sounds about right."

A knock on the door pulled our attention away from the conversation and in walked in a man wearing a headset.  Dressed in a pair of black jeans and a yellow t-shirt the man quickly nodded towards the door.

"It's time."

I crinkled my nose in displeasure.  Disappointed that Michael had to leave me so quickly I let out a resigned sigh and unhooked my arms from around his neck.  Michael gave the man a polite smile and turned to look at me.  Releasing one of his hands from my waist Michael pulled a strand of my hair back from my eyes and gave me a warm smile.

"You want to come with me?"

Nodding my head, Michael leaned in and gave me another kiss before releasing my waist.  Sliding off Michael's hand, I turned and waited for him to get up.  As soon as he did, I laced my fingers through his and we were rushed into the studio.

"Mr. Jackson, you're here."

Michael slipped into business mode while they set him up and gave him some quick notes from their clipboard.  Nodding politely, Michael glanced over to make sure that I was okay a couple of chairs down from him.  I gave him an encouraging smile and Michael smiled back warmly at me before slipping on his headphones.

"Good evening everyone! Today we are here with pop sensation, Michael Jackson.  Back in the studio for his upcoming album, Dangerous, Michael is here today to discuss what you can expect from his latest album expected in stores at the beginning of next year and to also discuss his relationship with long time fiancée Lexi Adams."

Raising my eyebrows in surprise, Michael and I shot each other a look.

Evidently he hadn't known they were going to bring "us" up either.

Were they going to bring up Megan?

"Today we're going to start by letting Michael say hello to his fans."  The radio jockey, probably about thirty, glanced up at Michael and gave him the go signal.  Wearing a Nike sweatshirt and a pair of jeans, he remained very focused. 

"Hello" Michael smiled and nodded his head graciously.  "I love you."

"So Michael.  The radio jockey quickly adjusted the wrist of his navy blue sweatshirt and his dark blue eyes pierced Michaels.  "Tell us about your new album."

Leaning up to speak in the microphone, Michael bent his arms and placed them on the table. 

"Well," Michael began, laying his hands back down on the table, "As you mentioned the cd launches here in a couple of months.  I feel very blessed to be working on another album and I'm very excited for all of my fans to hear what I have been working on."

Graciously Michael told them about the songs and the plans that were in the works for an accompanying tour.  His eyes lighting up, I knew that Michael had missed performing his music and inwardly I groaned, knowing that the busyness and chaos from the last few months only was going to get worse in the coming months.

It was hard sometimes...sharing Michael with so many people.  Studying him I admired the way Michael's creamy white complexion and large mocha brown eyes looked against his black fedora and light blue dress shirt. 

Before I knew it he would be leaving again soon.  

Was I going with him?

I thought about Nahla and Janet and the life I had here  in California.  It was hard leaving everything that I had become so accustomed too in the last few years when Michael hadn't been touring.  What I was struggling with even though more though was my desire to become my own person beyond "Michael Jackson's fiancée." 

I didn't want to be one of those girls.

Not sure of what next year would bring me, Every since Michael hadn't mentioned the tour to me a couple of months ago I had been warring within myself my desire to not be one of the girls that based their entire lives on their man and my desire to wake up every morning next to Michael.  Breathing in deeply, I imagined the long lonely nights without him and my heart ached at the thought.

 Silently I wondered if I could handle being separated from him that long again. 

"I'm sure that all of your fans are looking forward to that."

Breaking out of my thoughts I saw Michael glance over at me and give me a smile.  Smiling back at him I winked to let him know I was proud of him. Blushing, Michael slid his hands off the table and grabbed both sides of his chair and turned his attention back to the interview.

Bored, I reached down and grabbed my purse.  Crammed full of things, I wrestled around until I found a small notebook and pen and I lightly touched my necklace as I brought them up and sat them on my lap.

Doodling, my brain refused to shut off and thoughts of Michael leaving on tour and of the recent allegations completely overwhelmed me.  For the first time in a long while I felt the desire to write again.  Self-consciously, I glanced up to see if Michael was paying attention to me.  When I saw that he was still engrossed in the interview I stuck my pen between my teeth and closed my eyes, trying to concentrate.

"She's the love of my life."

Smiling, I opened my eyes and saw Michael shoot me a look.  His eyes full of love, my heart warmed and the way I felt about him flowed through me so strongly I took the pen out of my mouth and began writing.

You breath and life begins
you speak and my world makes sense
That's how it is, when it comes to  you
Memories flowed through me...The  memories of our friendship before we started dating, the memories of Michael helping me through each abandonment by my foster parents.  Lovingly I touched the pages, and the words continued flowing through me like I had never stopped writing.

Your mercy has no end
Your more than just a friend
It amazes me, you feel the way you do

There were times I looked at Michael and wondered why he would give his heart to me, someone so completely unworthy of it. It was something that I didn't understand, something I didn't think I'd ever understand. My thoughts turning to the recent allegations, so many people were telling me that I was a fool believing him...but those people didn't know Michael and hadn't seen the love he had shown me all through the years. 

It couldn't be true...

Sticking a strand of hair behind my ear I continued.

I believe in you, and nothing less
I believe in you, can't help myself
Your all the hope, the reason that I need
I believe in you
Just because I don't need no one to prove your love
For all that I have seen
It's easier for me to believe in you.

Inhaling deeply, I took a break from my writing and looked up to see that they had gone to commercial and Michael was discussing his schedule.  Seeing that he was busy, I turned my attention back to my notebook.

You are so beautiful
You are the miracle, that dries my tears heals my wounded heart
And it's so clear to see, your hand in everything
You were there for me, there to see me through

I believe in you, and nothing less
I believe in you, can't help myself
Your all the hope, the reason I need
I believe in you, just because I don't need no one to prove your love
For all that I have seen It's easier for me to believe In you

Through the fire and through the rain
I know your love for me will never ever change

I believe in you, and nothing less
I believe in you, can't help myself
Your all the hope, the reason that I need

I believe in you, just because I don't need no one to prove your love
For all that ihave seen it's easier for me to believe in you
And nothing less I believe in you can't help myself
Your all the hope the reason that I need

I believe in you, just because I don't need no one to prove your love
The love that I have seen, it's easier for me to believe in you...

The rest of the song poured out of me easily.  Satisfied with the end result, I quickly closed the book and tucked It in my purse.

"Alright now, we're back on the air again with pop sensation Michael Jackson"

Looking back over at Michael and the DJ, I tucked my arms around my legs again and paid attention.  Michael's eyes were trained in front of him, listening respectfully while the DJ gave a bit of background on Michael's musical history and once he was finished Michael took a drink of water and leaned forward in the microphone to answer his next question.

"We have a bit of a surprise for all of you listening out there."  Curiously I furrowed my brow and wondered what he was talking about.  Glancing over at Michael I caught his eye and he shrugged his shoulders.

"Today, Meghan Carter shall be joining us in the studio-"

No.

Panicked I shot Michael another look and my heart broke seeing his face pale instantly.  Realizing it would make Michael look incredibly guilty if he refused to talk from this point on I furiously clutched my hands and stood up, making my way past the long desk to where Michael was sitting.  The door opened behind us, and enough perfume to tranquilize an elephant wafted in the room as Meghan shuffled in the doorway.  Refusing to look behind me I walked the rest of the way over to Michael.

His face looked even paler up close.

Noticing the wounded look in his eyes my heart broke.  Michael glanced up at me, and wrapping my arms around his neck I sat on his lap. 

"Psst. Miss."

A sound tech waved his hands on the other side of the desk and I glared at him, daring him to tell me to move.

"You can't..." he started, looking between me and Michael hesitantly.  "...Nevermind."

Looking him up and down for a moment, I felt Michael wrap his arms around my waist and I ran my hand down his arm and squeezed his wrist supportively.

"What is that bitch doing here..." He whispered against my neck, his voice tight.  I wasn't sure what to say so I turned and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"It's okay, I'll be right here." I whispered, watching in disbelief as they wired her up and placed her across from us at the table.

"Alright listeners, in case you didn't know Megan is the mother of Michael's only child."

"Alleged." Michael responded coldly, looking over at Megan.

Megan's eyes darted over to us and glancing our way she smiled smugly and leaned forward exposing her breasts in a tight neon green tube top.  Resisting the urge to climb across the table and strangle her I kept my mouth shut and shot daggers at her from my spot across the table.

"Here today, in an exclusive interview, Megan is here to share her side of the story.  What makes it more interesting is that Lexi Adams, Michael's fiancée and the one we discussed here earlier, is also here tonight as a special guest.  In a few moments we will take your questions but first, Megan?"

Megan's eyes glimmered, and smugly she soaked in the attention and pressed her lips up to the microphone. Lifting a hand up to hold her headset in place, Megan glared over between Michael and I and began talking.

"All I want is for my child to know his real dad." She replied modestly, laying a hand on her heart in "earnest".  "To really know him.  I want my baby to feel his loving embrace and know love."

"You are a lying witch."

Furious, the words slipped out of my mouth before I knew what was happening.  My eyes widened in surprise and embarrassed I covered my mouth and slinked back against Michael.  Michael's chest shook violently, and I saw him trying desperately not to laugh.   Across from us Megan had stopped midsentence and was glaring at me with a murderous expression.  Michael's arms tightened around my waist, seeing my shoulders tense, and the radio DJ quickly coughed and started rambling trying to cover my slip.

"You will see" She hissed, a wicked gleam in her eyes.   Pulling her hair back over her shoulder Megan leaned towards me and shoved the microphone out of the way. "You'll see soon enough that Mr. Perfect over here isn't all that he's cracked up to be. All he is...is a lying, cheating, whore."

I was going to punch her in her pretty little face.

Finally having enough, I reached down and tried to clasp Michael's hands from my waist.  Sensing what I was doing Michael's grasp around me tightened and he struggled with me to keep me on his lap.

"Lexi you cannot-"

"Oh yes I can."

"No you can't it's not going to do any good."

"Let me go!"

Blind rage coarsed through my veins watching her snicker across from us like she had won something.  Michael's hands slipped for a moment, trying to keep my wiggling frame in place and I took the moment, slide out of his hands, and went climbing across the table.

"Ahhh!"

Megan's scream pierced the room and just as quickly as I had hopped on the table Michael had jumped up behind me and picked me up. 

"I think we're done."

Michael placed me on his shoulder and slipped off his headphones with the other hand.  I shot daggers at Megan with my eyes as Michael walked across the room to gather my purse and I pointed at myself and then her as we were walking out the door.

"I'm watching you-you conniving little-"

The door slammed behind me, and Michael's coughing turned into full blown laughter when we were out of the studio.  "Michael! Let me go."

Michael gently placed me down on the floor and I huffed and straightened my tunic and necklaces.

"I think Janet's been rubbing off on you." Michael said wryly, looking at me beneath a couple strands of mussed curls.

"She had it coming" I grumbled, turning back around to glare in the other room.

Michael chuckled behind me and wrapped his arms around me from behind.

"When the results are back this will all be over. We've just got to be patient."

Michael laid a gentle kiss on my head and a bit of my anger drained hearing the calm tone in his voice.

"I could make it over sooner" I grumbled, still glaring.

"I don't even want to know what you mean by that."

Two Days Later

The room was illuminated by lamplight and the flickers in the fireplace and Michael and I were on the couch in the living room watching television after being apart most of the last two days. Both of us had decided to try and watch a bit of tv together before bed since we had barely seen each other, although I could tell that Michael wouldn't last much longer.  His arm slung over my shoulder, Michael's eyes drooped heavily and his face was pale from exhaustion even though he was trying hard to act normal.

Letting out a slow yawn, Michael rolled his shoulders and reached up to cover his mouth.  I studied his face in concern and hoped that things would slow down soon enough for him to get some rest before rehearsals would begin for next year.  Between pulling an album together, organizing a tour, and dealing with all of the recent accusations Michael looked incredibly run down.

I had no idea how he did it, but I knew it couldn't be good for his health.

Still, I didn't want to stress Michael out by airing my concern.  There was nothing he could do about it and he was trying so hard to make time for me.  Turning my attention back to our conversation I elbowed him in the side lightly and slipped the remote control from his grasp.

"We are not watching Peter Pan again Michael."  I said looking over at him and rolling my eyes playfully.  "We've watched it so many times I could play Wendy on Broadway."

Michael's long frame stretched out, he was dressed in the white shirt and a pair of black athletic pants he had worn into the studio today.  Reaching up to move a strand of hair from his cheek I saw a bit of the tension leave his eyes and his stomach vibrated as he let out a low chuckle.

"Well...we do live in Neverland..."

Shooting him another glare, Michael gave me an innocent smile and turned back to look at the tv. 

"Your ridiculous."

" I don't know what you're talking about."

Oh, like he didn't.

We watched Peter Pan at least three times a week.  I cocked an eyebrow daring him to argue and Michael's wide brown eyes twinkled mischievously.  Letting out a teasing sigh Michael leaned down and kissed my cheek.

"Fine."  He conceded playfully, putting his feet on the coffee table next to mine.   "No Peter Pan."

Grinning victoriously I changed the channel and snuggled deeper under the blanket.

"Kill joy" Michael muttered grinning, eliciting another sharp look.

"Your going to think kill joy when your sleeping on the couch tonight."

Michael's eyes widened slightly but for only a moment.  Moving his arm from around my neck I felt Michael's arms slid around my waist and his breath sent chills down my spine as he leaned down towards me, laying kisses along the back of my neck.  Closing my eyes, I groaned.

"No you won't" He said cockily, pulling away and arching his eyebrows.

"Michael, what are you..." Michael's hands grazed the edge of my shirt and I groaned again when he kissed behind my ear.

"Okay, your right.  I won't."

Michael chuckled in my ear, and I sulked knowing that he had won.  "Come on Lex..." He cooed cheekily, trailing his fingertips along my abdomen.  "Be a good sport."

I didn't open my eyes, and my stubborn reluctance to admit he was right made it difficult to admit that being in his warm, solid arms was exactly where I needed to be even if he was a cheeky jerk.  Finally deciding to change the subject so I wouldn't have to admit I was wrong I sighed contently and open my eyes.

"Have you heard anything from Laura yet?" I half groaned, his hands moving circles along my stomach.

Michael's warm breath and intoxicating fragrance made it almost impossible to concentrate.  Moving his head over slightly, Michael rested his head in my hair and gave me another kiss.

"Not yet..." He mumbled, sighing.  "I don't know what's taking so long.

Laura was Michael's lawyer, and the one that was supposed to call us as soon as the results came back.

"Weren't you supposed to hear today?"

I felt Michael nod his head behind me.

"Maybe we will hear tomorrow."

Michael mumbled against my head and I felt a pang of sympathy for him, knowing that the wait had to be killing him even more than me.  It had definitely being eating me alive, don't get me wrong.  But Michael lived these accusations 24/7.

His face was plastered on television, newspapers, and magazines, all of them claiming Michael was a deadbeat father.  The words touched Michael deeply because his love with children was so deep. 

I knew in my heart they were wrong.  Michael was going to be a great father to our children. 

Our children.

The thought struck me so suddenly, I felt the air leave my lungs. 

Michael would be the father to my children. I couldn't imagine anything more wonderful.

My chest warmed thinking about it and silently I wondered what they would look like, who they would be.

"Do you want to have children as soon as were married?" I finally mused aloud, tilting my head up to look at him.  Michael gently pulled his face from my hair and looked over at me surprised.  Tilting his head slightly, Michael reached up and ran a hand through my hair.

"What made you think of that?"  He questioned, arching an eyebrow.

Blushing, I looked down at my lap.  "I don't know.." I mumbled, biting the inside of my cheek. 

"I...." he started, and his voice trailed off then as he paused .

"Of course I do Lexi." He finally said, looking at me bewildered.  "I just don't know where this came from."

I shrugged my shoulders again and looked over to the window.  Tiny droplets of water began pattering against the pane and I watched them trying to figure out what to say next.

"I guess I was just thinking about everything going on..." I finally said hesitantly, looking back over at him to gauge his reaction.  Not fazed by the topic, I took a breath and continued.

"I just...can't wait to see who they are, what they'll look like.  I'm just glad they'll have a dad like you."

Michael searched my eyes, and I knew that he understood how important it was for me to be marrying a man that would be someone I could trust.  Someone that I knew would always be there for me and my kids.  Licking the bottom of his lip, Michael gazed at me tenderly and spoke.

"I'll always be here Lexi.  No matter what happens.  Always."

Inhaling a deep breath, I smiled and nodded my head. "I know."

Michael's phone went off suddenly interrupting the moment and both of us held are breath as he released his hands around my waist and picked it up to look at the caller ID.  Recognition dawned in his eyes and quickly Michael flipped it open and pressed it up to his ear.

"Hello?  Laura?"

Quickly I jerked up on Michael's lap and looked over at him.

"....What?"

The phone fell out of Michael's hands and Laura's voice could be heard clearly on the other end.

"The results were positive." She stated again firmly. "I don't know how you want to proceed but..."

Positive? 

My heart shattered.

"Lexi.....please baby just talk to me."

Michael's tearfully please made it impossible to breath.  Clutching both edges of my suitcase my back was arched and I held on tightly, trying not to fall.  Long strands of my hair fell down both of my shoulders, and I felt my hair clinging against my wet cheeks.  Pressing my fingernails against the burlap material, I clenched my jaw and forced myself to stand.  Forced myself to not show him how truly broken I was. 

"Just...please."  Michael's pleas made the panic I was feeling intensify.  Closing my eyes I inhaled a deep breath and my throat burned as I tried to shove air into my lungs.  Michael standing only a few feet away, the smell of his cologne lingered in the room and was enough to make me feel like I was going to break down and cry again.  I couldn't let him see me like that right now.  He had lied to me...had cheated on me.  The only man I had ever trusted with my heart had completely trampled it.  I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing me in pain.  Even if it hurt enough that I couldn't even look at him.

"Lexi..."  I could hear the tears in Michael's voice still and I pressed my palm against the suitcase zipper to try and drowned out some of the pain from hearing him like that.  Confusion enveloped me, and silently I wondered if I even knew him at all.  If I had ever known him.

How could he have done this?  How could he have risked everything that we had if he really cared?

It took everything I had in my not to collapse against the bed.  I needed to get out of here quickly.

Opening my eyes, I looked back down at the suitcase.  How was I going to finish packing? I couldn't focus.  Deciding that whatever I had managed to throw in there was going to have to do until I got settled I quickly zipped the suitcase and lifted it off the bed. 

"Lexi...please.  Where are you going to go?  We need to talk." 

I felt Michael's arms slide around me from behind and I jerked up from the suitcase.

Was he serious?  Did he think this was just going to go away if we talked about it and we'd be fine?  That he could talk to me softly and I'd forgive him for the betrayal and lies? If so, he had another thing coming.

Michael's touch unleashed a fire in me and my eyes flashing I quickly shoved him back away from me and reached up to wipe the tears from my face.   Michael stumbled backwards and stared at me, eyes wide in surprise.  The reaction seemed to throw him off balance for a moment and we both stood there, unmoving. 

"Why won't you talk to me..." 

Michael's words were broken, and it made me angry seeing the wounded look in his eyes.

"NO! You have NO RIGHT to cry."

Michael's lips parted slightly.  Reaching up to run a hand through his hair again Michael inhaled sharply and stepped forward to try and grab me again.

"No! Don't touch me!"

Michael ignored my command and reached forward anyway.  I tried to move to escape his grasp but he was too quick for me and I felt his hands clasp my waist tightly and felt my body collide up against his.  His warm strong arms wrapped around my waist and the sudden touch sent an unwanted wave of electricity coursing over me.  Shaking my head back and forth I continued to try and fight my way away from him but he was undeterred and held me tight, dodging my sudden movements.  The tears flowing down my cheeks intensified, feeling him so close, and harsh sobs erupted from my chest.

"Lexi...please..." He whispered softly, pressing his lips to my ear.  I pounded against his chest, desperate to move away from him, but it did no good and I gave up fighting and instead unleashed my rage on him.

"You LIED to me!" I screamed, sobbing. "You PROMISED nothing happened.  You acted like everything would be FINE! I TRUSTED YOU."

Michael's eyes were closed and his eyelashes glistened with tears.  Still, he refused to let go of me and remained silent while I continued.

"I gave EVERYTHING to you.  I gave you my whole heart.  EVERYTHING I had.  I even gave up my LIFE when that damn man was after me so YOU wouldn't get hurt and the entire time you were PLAYING me.  HOW COULD YOU!"

"I didn't do it..."

Michael's words were so soft, that it took me a moment to realize he had actually said anything.  Staring at him in disbelief my arms slipped down to my sides in surprise and I stared at him, startled.

"I'm sorry...what?"

Michael stood completely still.  Opening his eyes to look at me, Michael's eyes searched my face and he bit his lip before responding.

"I said...I didn't do it."

Un freaking believable.

"Are you kidding right now?"

Michael's eyes closed again hearing my angry retort and I shook my head in disbelief and looked over to the wall.  Hues of pink and orange danced through the large paned windows and I stared at them, shocked that I had been in the bathroom crying for so long before finally coming out to unpack. 

He must have sat out the door the entire time waiting for me to come out to talk knowing he would have to be up first thing this morning for the studio.  A small part of me felt a pang of sympathy for him but quickly I pushed it away and I looked back up at him. 


"You acted angry when I didn't believe you..."  My voice had taken on an eerie calm, one that I certainly didn't feel.  Michael's eyes opened and his left eyebrow arched in confusion for a moment as he tried to figure out the sudden change in me.  Looking down to his hands I placed my hands on top of his and gently forced him to break his grasp.  Taking a step back, Michael's hands slid down my hips and back to his side and I felt behind me and touched the bed as I stood, finishing my thought.

"And now...now that the DNA tests have CONFIRMED you lied to me you just expect me to believe you when you say you didn't do it?"   Tilting my head slightly, I swallowed back another wave of tears.  "And you think this is going to make things okay?"

I stared at Michael incredulously and watched him war within himself before speaking again.  "Lexi I'm telling you..." His eyes searched my face earnestly and he took a step towards me again   
"I DID NOT do this."

"STOP IT! STOP LYING TO ME!"

Michael's denial broke the eerie calm in my voice as suddenly as it had come on and I squared my shoulders and lifted a hand in front of me to keep him from coming towards me again. 

"I AM NOT LYING LEXI!" Michael's tone matched my own.  Crinkling his nose in disgust Michael looked to the wall and back at me, his eyes flashing this time.  Letting out a low growl Michael stepped back away from me and turned around on his heel.

"Did you ever stop to think you aren't the only VICTIM HERE?! I did NOTHING....NOTHING DAMNIT!"  Michael's fist quickly connected with the mirror on the vanity next to us and I watched him, shocked. 

Michael had never hit anything.  EVER. 

"Someone is setting me up!"

Michael's strong reaction confused me and I stood paralyzed trying to make sense of everything.  Blood gushed from Michael's fist and dripped to the floor.  Even as mad as I was I couldn't stand there and watch him bleeding.  Slowly I turned and unzipped my suitcase.  Pulling out a white cotton t-shirt I had tucked underneath my jeans I shut the suitcase and turned back around to look at Michael.  Strands of hair fell down both sides of his face, and Michael had lifted his arms to both sides of his head and was leaning against the wood on the vanity.  Taking a step towards him I felt glass crunch beneath my shoe and without a word I walked around to face him.  Michael's eyes were hidden beneath his hand and gently I tugged his injured hand towards me.  Michael's fingers felt soft against my fingertips and the sight of the hands that had spent so much time caressing my skin bleeding extinguished some of my rage and brought my grief to the surface again. I looked up at his face for a moment, and my breath hitched seeing his pale face and tear stained eyes.  A mired of emotions rolled inside me, and trying to keep my hands steady I ran a hand along his arm and quickly wrapped the shirt around his fist.

"You shouldn't have done that..." I whispered, swallowing.  "You could have seriously hurt yourself."

"Lexi..."

The anger was drained out of his voice but I kept my eyes down, avoiding the piercing gaze I knew he would be giving me.

"I'm telling you....I didn't do this."

His voice broke off and my eyes flashed back to him, intently waiting for his next words.  While I waited I tucked the shirt in a knot so that it wouldn't come off and took a step back.  Running a hand through my hair I kept my eyes trained on him. 

"You know me...Lexi you've known me my whole life.  Does ANY of this sound like me?"

No.  It didn't.  Which made it so much harder to process.

Michael moved his head trying desperately to catch my attention.  Closing my eyes I inhaled a deep breath and shook my head slowly.

"No..." I finally said "But..."

"But nothing!  Lexi I love you.  I wouldn't do this."

I needed time.

"Michael...I just can't..."

The hopeful look that had been building in Michael's face fell suddenly.  Seeing the pain in his eyes was difficult to look at, even as mad as I was, and I looked down at my hand and the ring Michael had given me.

Slowly I slid it off my finger and took a deep breath.  Looking back up at Michael I saw that the tears had started flowing heavily down his face again and I took a step forward with the ring in my hand.

"Here..." I whispered.  Gently I clasped his good hand in mine and pressed the ring into it. 

Michael shook his head in disbelief and clasped my wrist as I took a step back.  Quickly I jerked my head away so I wouldn't look at him and I pulled my arms to my sides. 

"Why won't you believe me?  Does all of our time together mean nothing?"

It meant everything.  But the resemblance of the kid in the photograph and the results from the test had my mind swarming in confusion and doubt.  Inhaling a sharp breath I looked back up at him.

"I just need time alone Michael...to process all of this."

Someone deep inside me I felt like Michael could be right.  But my heart was so wounded, and the evidence was so damaging there was just no way I could be with him while I sorted all of this out.  Stepping towards him again I reached up and caressed his cheek.  Michael's eyes closed at my touch and I took a shuddered breath and looked at his soft crimson lips.  Leaning towards him I brushed a quick kiss to his lips and straightened.

"Goodbye Michael..." I whispered, picking up my suitcase.  Michael's eyes poured tears and he stood there unmoving.  When I got to the doorway I paused and looked back at him one final time.  Michael stood transfixed right where I had left him, his head down and his shoulders slumped in defeat.  My heart lurched, but I resisted the urge to comfort him and reminded myself of the reason I was leaving.

"Goodbye..." I whispered again, lightly touching the doorway.    Turning on my heel I slowly walked through the hallway and down the stairs.  Laying my hand on the bannister as I moved, I looked around at the place I had called home for so long.  Memories enveloped me, and another sob rose in my throat as I made it down to the last stair and stepped into the entryway.  Letting out another shuddering breath, I sat my suitcase down and reached down to grab my cell phone from my pocket.  Quickly dialing Frank's number  I pressed the phone to my ear and waited for him to pick up.

"Hey Lele, what's up?"

"I'm coming over..."

Four Months Later

"Lexi...come on.  It's time to take your life back."

Letting out a frustrated sigh, I reached up and ran a hand through my hair.  Frank's cologne mingled with his musk aftershave and I looked up at him from the couch.  Standing in front of me, Frank's eyebrows were knit together in concern and his lips were drawn in a firm line. 

"You can't just hibernate in here the rest of your life."

Frank's dark brown dress shoes clicked against the black and white streaked marble and I snuggled deeper into the sofa and hugged a soft white pillow to my chest.  Swallowing back a lump in my throat I nodded my head slowly and looked down to the coffee table.  Laying a hand protectively on my leg Frank squatted down in front of me and reached forward to touch the side of my face.

"Lele?"

Inhaling a deep breath, Frank's hand felt warm against my cheek as I turned to look at him.  His dark blue eyes clouded with concern, I blinked a couple of times to keep from crying and took a shaky breath.

"I know..."I finally started slowly.  Unable to meet Frank's gaze, I felt Frank's hand slip from my face as I looked down to my bright pink yoga pants.  Memories from the last time I had attempted to leave Frank's condo assaulted me. "But his face is everywhere..."  I said emphatically.  "How can i leave the house when as soon as I do he's everywhere?  Magazine covers, newspapers, billboards, radio stations, merchandise... I even saw Michael Jackson lighters and bubble gum.  How can I move past all of this when I can't go ten seconds without even seeing his face?

Frank let out a long drawn out sigh.  Dressed in a chocolate brown leather jacket, a white dress shirt, and a pair of jeans I watched the arms of his coat crinkle as he stood up.  

Adjusting slightly on the couch, I shifted my leg underneath me and Frank took the seat beside me and wrapped his arm around my waist.  Reaching up, I pulled my hair away from my shoulder and leaned my head down on his shoulder.

Frank gently tugged the pillow from my arms and laid it down beside us.  Scooting closer to him I slid my hand underneath his coat and I felt his heartbeat underneath my fingertips.  The slow, even rhythm helped to soothe the intense pain I was feeling at even the mention of Michael.  Feeling his arm tighten around the waist of my light grey sweatshirt I took a steadying breath and drew circles along his chest.

"I know it isn't easy.  But he's always going to be everywhere.  That isn't going to go away."  Frank lifted his free hand and ran it through my hair affectionately.

  "The only way to move forward is to get a life of your own, a separate life."

Did I even know how to do that anymore?

"But he was my life..." 

Frank nodded in acknowledgement.  "Then we create a new one."

"That's easier said than done..." 

"Not necessarily...get dressed."

__________________________________________________________________________________

"Frank?? ARE YOU INSANE?"

Furious, I slung my metallic gray purse over my shoulder and made my way down the hallway to the elevators.  My heels clicking against the light grey tiles, overhead lights flickered against the amber colored walls.  Keeping my eyes trained on the elevator I felt Frank's hand firmly grab my arm.

"Lexi!"  

His voice sounded breathless, but still furious over what had just happened I keep walking quickly.

"Wait!  Please! Just here me out."

Frank's hand tightened around my arm and I halted grudgingly.  Narrowing my eyes I turned to look at him and took a step back so that he would let go of me.  Crossing my arms expectantly I cocked an eyebrow and tapped my foot impatiently.

"You had NO right..." i started, nodding my head back torwards the conference room.  "To do that."

Frank held both of his hands up in surrender and took a tenative step forward.  

"I know...but-"

"I haven't even ever SHOWN you that journal.  How the hell did you get ahold of it?"

Frank's eyes widened and his lips parted slightly.  "I, uh....found it in your closet."

He was snooping through my closet??

Shooting him a look of disgust I flung my arms to my sides and turned around to head back to the elevator.

"Lele! No it isn't like that..."  

Frank's hand grabbed at my arm again to stop me.  "The other day when you asked me to grab your shoes for you it slipped when I hit the shelf above it and fell open.  I couldn't help but read it...and well..."

Knowing at least it had initally been accidental eleviated at least some of my anger and I turned back around to look at him.  Frank dropped his hold on my arm and searched my face.

"I couldn't believe it Lexi...the stuff you had written-"

I folded my arms back across my chest. "Was private."

Frank nodded his head in acknowledgment.  "Was private...your right.  But was also incredible."

I was angry...beyond angry.  But somewhere deep inside of me, a small part of me warmed hearing Frank's praise and knowing that he had believed in it, in me, enough to set up the meeting I had just stormed out of.   He had always been there for me.  I had to remember that even as angry as I was.  But still, why had he stolen my songs and done something as extreme as this?

"I still don't understand any of this.." I said waving my arm around the room.  "Why?"

Frank gave me a disbelieving look and tilted his head.  "Lexi why do you think?  You've been a zombie for three months.  I was trying to help you get a life of your own."

"This still feels extreme."

Frank shrugged his shoulders and his jacket puckered as he reached up and brushed both hands through his hair.

"It is extreme...i'll admit. But when I was reading through them someone else walked in and suggested that I submit them...and I thought it was a good idea so..."

My eyebrows shot up in surprise.  "So it wasn't all your idea?"

Frank's mouth immediately snapped shut and I eyed him suspiciously and took a step torwards him.

"Frank..." I started slowly...."Who did you run into?"

Licking his lips nervously, Frank tugged at his collar. 

"I, uh..."  Frank let out a loud cough and looked down to his watch.  "I think I just realized I need to be getting ready for work soon Lex...so i'll just be-"

Suddenly it dawned on me.  No.

"Was it Michael?!"  I squealed in disbelief.  "Did he see them while you were on DUTY?!"

Frank's face gave him away.
 
That's why we were here.  At Sony.  At MICHAEL'S LABEL.  

I was going to kill him. 

"I can't believe you.  How could you do this to me!"

"He only saw one..." Frank finally admitted, shoving his hands in his pockets.  "But when he saw it he made a call...and well..."

I couldn't believe this. Michael had asked them to take a look at my songs for publication and had gotten this meeting.  

"And you just went along with it?!"

Frank eyed me hesistantly and nodded his head.  "Yes...but."

I didn't need to hear anymore.  Turning on my heel I stormed torwads the elevator.

"Don't you want to have a life of your own?!"

How could he have done this?  How could he had gotten Michael involved after everything that we had been through? 

Shaking my head in disbelief I stopped in front of the elevators and pushed the down arrow.  Furious, I reached in my pocket for my cell phone and pulled it out.  Hitting speed dial I pressed the phone up to my ear and tapped my foot impatiently.

"Hello?"

Michael's soft velvet voice came over the other line.  Any other time I would have been overwhelmed with sadness and longing...but not right now.  Trying to keep my voice even I cleared my throat and stepped into the elevator as the doors opened.

"What the hell are you doing?"

The other line went silent.  Walking to the back of the elevator I heard Frank slip in behind me and the doors close.  Turning back around to face the front I jammed the lobby button and leaned up against the stainless steel rail.  

"Lexi..."

From the other end of the line i could hear dozens of people in the background and in a moment of weakness I wondered where he was at and what he was doing.

Who he was with.

Forcing myself not to go there I squared my shoulders.  

"I asked you a question." I finally responded, looking to the floor.  Moving a strand of hair from my face I saw Frank come and stand beside me out of the corner of my eye.  

Michael remained on the line quietly.  

Ding.

I looked up to see the elevator doors open to the lobby.  Moving forward both Frank and I stepped out and I walked quickly torwards the parking garage.

"...Why didn't you ever tell me you wrote?"  

Michael's voice sounded wounded on the other end and it stopped me in my tracks.  Closing my eyes I inhaled a deep breath and forced myself not to let my guard down.

He had cheated. And lied.  He might as well have put a gun to my head and pulled the trigger as broken as he had made me.  I couldn't be vulnerable with him again. 

"I'm not the only one who had secrets..." I finally ground out, narrowing my eyes.  "Or is me keeping a song book equal to you whoring yourself out while we're together?"

I looked over at Frank and saw him starring back at me, stunned.
  
I  couldn't believe I had said that either.

Looking away from him quickly, I looked torwards the large glass doors leading to the garage.  Shrouded in privacy glass and armed with guards, the entrance was firmly secured to keep  those without an invitation from getting inside.  Watching one of the guards argue with a young teenage girl trying to gain access I waited for Michael to respond.

 "I just wanted...to help." He finally responded in a whisper.  The girl ducked underneath the guards arm, but in one swoop he had her looped around the waist and placed back behind the barricade.  

Watching her try desperately to get in the doors reminded me of all the times Michael and I had been held up trying to get somewhere from fans trying to get to him.  The reminder was unwelcome, bringing an onslaught of even more memories of our time together.  Deciding to end the conversation quickly so I wouldn't have to think about him any more I moved the phone to my other ear.

"If you want to help stay away from me."

Slamming the phone shut, I pressed it up against my forehead and furrowed my brow in frustration.  Letting out a small scream I felt Frank's arms slide around me from behind and I shook my head no firmly and reached down to try and get away from him.

"Lexi, listen.  No...stay put.  I'm sorry."

Overwhelmed, and too tired to fight him anymore I finally stopped trying to resist and turned around in Frank's arms.  Laying my head against his chest we stood, silently.  My heart twisted up within me, I decided I would do anything to make the pain stop and i looked up at Frank hesitantly.

"Do you really think it would help me get over him...?"  

Frank searched my face and then nodded his head.

"I do..."

It was asking so much of me to try this.

My entire life I had been such a private person...letting go of that hadn't been easy dating Michael.  Even then though it had only been a very small portion of my life I had shared publicly.  Letting someone sing the songs I had written about my past and more recently about Michael was like giving an even larger portion of myself over for speculation and I wasn't sure if I was ready for that.

  But if Frank thought it would help...
"Okay.  We'll try it."

Frank's eyes crinkled, and a slow smile spread across his face.  Laying my head back down against his chest I took a deep breath.

"I guess...we should get back up there again."

"Let's go."

3 Weeks Later

"Miss Adams..."

Standing in the dining room of Frank's condo, Frank was on duty with Michael's entourage and I had spent the entire morning working on finalizing some paperwork for the music Sony was purchasing from me.  The record company had decided to purchase the music for a new female artist they were signing.

Thanks to Michael... I thought wearily.  There was no telling how many strings he had pulled.  But I was trying not to focus on that.  I wanted to use the opportunity for a fresh start.

I worked my hands through my hair and pulled the long blonde strands up in a ponytail.  Turning around on my heel my dark brown UGG boots made a slight noise against the dark mahogany flooring and I looked over to Tori, the assistant the record label had sent over to go over everything.  Giving her a small smile I watched her push her blue rimmed glasses up her pale freckled nose.  Auburn curls bobbed as she peaked up at me from the desk.  Nodding her head in the direction of Frank's door Tori slid a paper to the edge of the table.

"The artist purchasing your music will be here momentarily.  She requested meeting you before finalizing the agreement."

Sun speckled through the large floor to ceiling windows in the dining room, and buildings in the distance glimmered in the sunlight.  The fragrance of the large wildflower bouquet Frank had sent me in celebration of finishing contract negotiations permeated the room from the center of the large oak table.  Reaching forward to pick up the card, my eyes widened in surprise hearing that they were sending over the celebrity that had agreed to purchase my music.  Momentarily forgetting the bouquet I glanced down at the desk to the paper she had slid over.  Biting my lower lip i nodded my head slowly and nervously picked up the document.

I could do this... I reminded myself. 

The hereby party agrees...

Quickly my eyes scanned over the document, and I fought the increasing tension rising in my chest.  Sliding my fingers over the stack of paper I furrowed my brow and looked back up to Tori.

"This says that i'm agreeing to exclusively write for the person i'm meeting."

Tori's eyed me hesitantly and nodded her head slowly.

"Yes...about that.."

A loud knock on the door interrupted our conversation.  Tori's eyes swung to the doorway, and curiously I watched a look of panic wash over her features. 

"She's here..." She whispered. 

What was up with her?

Shooting Tori an odd look I turned towards the entryway.  Take a few steps towards the door I reached down to turn the knob when the door swung open, smacking me in the face and knocking me back into the wall. 

Letting out a loud squeal in surprise, I tripped over a pair of Frank's loafers and ended up in a pile behind the large wooden door.

"Um, excuse me?"

 Throwing both of my hands on the floor to steady myself, I hoisted myself up and kicked the door closed.  Straightening my light peach jacket and brushing off my skinny jeans I looked up.  Standing a few feet away, a tall brunette glanced over in my direction.  Dressed in tight leather pants and a yellow tunic, long strands of hair fell over her bronzed shoulders as she eyed me critically. 

"Lori, you expect me to believe this girl dated Michael Jackson?"

And what was THAT supposed to mean?

"It's Tori."  Lori corrected her from behind us.

What exactly had Frank and Michael gotten me into?

Her tone full of contempt and disbelief, I forced myself not to react.  Raising my eyebrows in surprise I stepped towards her and was accosted by the scent of a heavy musk perfume.  Coughing slightly from the overwhelming scent, I forced myself to smile and extended my hand.

"Hi, i'm Lexi."

"Small little dump isn't it?" 

Immediately turning away from my hand and ignoring my greeting, the heels of her dark red stilettos ground against the floor as she turned on her heel and absorbed her surroundings.  A large white ostrich leather bag swung over her shoulder, she puckered her nose in disgust and waved her hand in front of her. 

"Eww, why are we meeting here Lori?"

I glanced over at Tori and saw her staring back over at us, cheeks flushed.   Not sure if it was from anger or fear, I took a step in Tori's direction and walked over to the table. 

"It's Tori..." Tori whispered again forcefully. 

Okay.  Definitely not fear.  Evidently I wasn't the only one that thought she was annoying.

Lindsey turned to look and looked over in our direction. "I'm waiting for an answer Lori."

Tori's face looked strained and she narrowed her eyes.  "Because...you...insisted.  And it's Tori."
 
Letting out a loud "Hmph", Tori and I watched her walk away from us and down the hall towards the living room.   Leaning slightly, I followed her with my eyes until she was out of sight.    

"Where is she even going?"  I asked, dumbfounded.

Tori shrugged her shoulders beside me and both of us continued staring in the direction she had gone. 

"What is this girl's name again?"

"Lindsey."

"...I thought she was a new artist."

Tori grimaced.  "She is."

"Then what is with the diva act?" 

Tori shrugged her shoulders again and I pulled out a chair and sat down next to her.  Crossing my legs under the table, both of us waited a few more minutes until Lindsey came back in the room.  Rolling her eyes impatiently, Lindsey reluctantly slid in a chair across from us and sat her purse down on the table beside her.  Drumming her long, french manicured nails on the table, Lindsey looked over to me and then back to Tori.

"Have you explained it to her?"

Tossing Tori a curious look, Tori shifted uncomfortably in her chair and kept her gaze down.

"No.."

Explained what?

Lindsey cleared her throat and I turned back to look at her. 

"You'll write exclusively for me, and will spend two weeks out of every month trailing me until the end of my first tour. I refuse to negotiate on either of those terms."

"What? That doesn't even make sense."

Lindsey's dark green eyes searched my face, seriously.  "It doesn't have to make sense, to you.  It's what I am requesting.  Either take it or leave it."

"I'll leave it."

There was no way I was spending two weeks a month with Godzilla.

Lindsey's eyes shot open wide in surprise, and Tori began sputtering in panic.  I shot a sympathetic look at Tori, realizing that my decision could possibly get her in trouble, and then looked over to Lindsey.

"Those terms are ridiculous."

"I'll pay you double."

My eyebrows rose in surprise.  "Excuse me?"

Lindsey stared at me cooly. Sliding her hands over to grab the contract in front Tori, Lindsey moved the contract in front of me. 

"I said...I'll pay you double. And living expenses."

Double pay and living expenses...was she kidding?

Running a hand through my hair in frustration, I blew a breath between my teeth and looked over to the entryway, conflicted. What was I supposed to do?  I definitely needed the money, and I felt guilty staying with Frank until I finished school.  This would help me gain my independence...but was it worth it?  Wasn't there some other way?

"I need time to think.  Can I step outside for a minute?"

Lindsey and Tori exchanged a look before Tori nodded her head.  Uncrossing my legs I got up from the table and walked into the entryway.  Quickly opening the door I made my way into the hallway and headed towards the elevator.  Tapping the down button, I waited a few minutes until the heavy metallic silver doors swung open and I stepped inside and pressed the lobby button.  I was relieved to see I was the only one inside.  Laying my head against the cool tan marble wall, I closed my eyes and tried to process my options until I heard the ding.  Straightening, I walked off the elevator and into the lobby.  Surprised, I saw Frank a couple of feet away walking in my direction.  Giving him a small wave, Frank's eyes widened seeing me and nervously he brought his hand up to his neck.   Shooting him an odd stare I walked over to where he was standing. 

"Hey, what are you doing here?"

Frank didn't answer me, and out of the corner of my eye I saw someone walk in behind him.  My heart stopped.

Michael.

Dressed in a pair of black leather pants and a matching jacket, Michael's eyes were hidden beneath a pair of dark rimmed sunglasses.  Curls framing his face and perfectly arched eyebrows, my knees weakened seeing him and I couldn't tear my eyes away from his face.

"Michael...?"

Michael spotted me just as the large glass door swung shut behind him. 

"Lexi...I'm sorry.  He was going to wait down here while I grabbed something from the condo..."

Frank's voice sounded apologetic, but I couldn't turn to look at him.  Seeing Michael brought back every emotion I had been trying to avoid and my heart pounded heavily in my chest.  Parting my lips slightly, I watched Michael struggle with his own emotions.  Furrowing his brow, Michael looked away from me down to the floor.

Was it crazy that I wanted to tell him how much I loved him?

 I was desperate to touch him, but the betrayal I felt made it impossible to breathe even standing this close to him.  Every moment I stood, it felt like a small part of me was dying inside knowing things couldn't be the same anymore.  It was so painful knowing you couldn't be with the one you loved.

Unless he was telling the truth.

Something inside me whispered the words and I longed to believe them.

"Will you guys be okay until I get back? ...Or Lele do you want to come back up with me?"

My thoughts turned back to Lindsey and I looked over at Frank and nodded my head no.  Searching my face to make sure I'd be okay, Frank hesitantly stepped away from us and headed towards the elevators. I turned back to look at Michael, and saw him staring back at me from underneath his sunglasses. 

Neither of us spoke.

I took in every curve of his face.  The slight tip of his nose, the high cheekbones.  My eyes roamed the slight dip in his chin and the slight curl that fell over his forehead and dangled over his sunglasses. Looking at the man I had loved deeper than any other I felt loneliness consume me.  Everything felt wrong without him.

"I miss you..."

Michael's words were barely higher than a whisper, but they broke me from my thoughts.  Parting his lips, Michael took a step towards me and I moved back. 

"Lexi..."  Michael's eyebrows lowered, and even with his sunglasses on I saw the pain etched in his features.  Unable to deal with it I looked away. 

"No." I whispered, shaking my head and looking at the floor. "Don't."

"I didn't do it."

Tears welled up in my eyes, and without a word I spun around on my heel and headed towards the elevator.

"Lexi, please come back."

Moving quickly, I quickly hit the button and walked into the elevator when the doors opened.  Turning around my eyes widened in surprise seeing Michael slide in just as the doors closed behind me.  I fumbled and quickly backed myself up into the corner.  Michael's gaze never left my face.  Walking over to the floor buttons Michael slammed his hand down on the stop button and walked over to where I was standing.  

"Michael...what are you doing?"

Michael purposefully walked over to where I was standing and stopped in front of me.  Searching my eyes for a moment Michael bent down and roughly grabbed me around the waist. The leather on his coat rubbed against my own, and I felt the bottom of my shirt slip above my stomach.  His fingers felt like electricity against my skin. Pressing his forehead against mine, I felt a chill shoot up my spine as I turned my head away from him and tried to get out of his grasp.

"Michael..." I begged weakly, feeling his breath against my ear. "please..."

Michael moved his head down and placed a soft kiss on my neck.  My legs buckled, and I turned to look at him.  Moving his lips inches from mine Michael parted his lips slightly and leaned in capturing my mouth in a kiss.  My resistance weakened, and for a brief moment everything felt normal.  Wrapping my arms around the back of his neck Michael deepened the kiss and pressed me up harder against the back of the elevator.  Wrapping my legs around his waist, Michael's hands gruffly lifted me up in his arms and I sighed blissfully.  Michael used the back of the elevator to balance me and moved his hands up my arms, my shoulders, to my neck.  Feeling his long warm fingers wrap themselves up in my hair I realized what I was doing and I broke the kiss, panting. 

Michael's eyes searched my face in confusion.  Shaking my head no again I quickly unwound my legs from around his waist and pushed against his chest for him to move back.  "I'm sorry-I just can't do this."

Letting out an aggravated growl, Michael ran a frustrated hand through his hair.

"Just look at the way I kiss you if you don't believe me.  Do you really think that was the kiss of a cheating jackass?"

"I don't know, I-"

I straightened my clothes and Michael swiftly took another step towards me and his eyes searched my face.  "I love you." He stated firmly, reaching forward again to touch my neck. "Not some other girl...not any other girl.  You.  Just you."    

Michael being so close to me made it impossible to think.  Needing to put some space between us I quickly darted away from him and hit the button to make the elevator start moving again. 

"Lexi..."

The elevator jerked.  Keeping my eyes trained forward I heard Michael slide his sunglasses on again behind me and straighten his jacket. 

"Lexi...please."

"I'm sorry...I just can't."

The Next Day
ABC Studios

"Lexi, your needed inside in the dressing room."

Lindsey.

Reluctantly I had agreed yesterday to the deal she had offered me with the stipulation that I still maintained full rights to the music.  After my brief enounter with Michael downstairs in the lobby I had to admit to myself the hold he still had over me was undeniable.   I needed something to keep me distracted.  It wasn't ideal, but at least this distraction would help me get back on my feet.

And hopefully move on.

Sighing, I stuck a salty pretzel in my mouth from the silver food card next to me and gave a small nod to her bodyguard, Terrence.  Dressed in a dark black suit with a crisp blue undershirt, Terrence's electric green eyes gazed down at me sympathetically.

"How do you put up with her every day?"   I mumbled, shaking the salt off my hands.  Terrence's eyes crinkled, and he moved away from the door to let me in, chuckling.

"You'll get used to it."

Doubtful.

I plastered a tight smile on my face and my rainbow colored bracelets made a slight rattle as I clicked the door shut behind me.  As soon as I stepped into the room I was bombarded, once again, by the scent of Lindsey's perfume.   Resisting the urge to roll my eyes at the mountain of makeup in front of her on the vanity I stepped forward on the plush linen white carpet and headed towards the metal chair she was sitting in.

Long ebony curls flowing down her back, her light blue sequined dress had small peepholes on the shoulders encrusted in swarovski  crystals.   Flashing her eyes in irritation, Lindsey dropped a leg on the ground and spun around in her chair to face me.

"Finally. it's about time. Do I look better with the pink eye shadow or the blue?"

I stared at her in amazement.
She had called me in here for that? Was she serious?

I folded my arms across my chest and tapped my foot impatiently. "The blue. Can I go now?"

With a flip of her hair Lindsey gave me a tight smile and spun back around in her chair.  

"For now."

A knock on the door pulled my attention away from Lindsey and I glanced at the door.

"Excuse me? Lindsey? It's time to get you wired up.  You're on in fifteen."

I had a moment of panic.  Sending Lindsey out with something that was so meaningful, so private suddenly seemed like a huge mistake.  Not even sure which song she had picked to be her first single, mentally I ran through the list of songs I had agreed to sell for purchase.  

"Which one are you doing?"

Lindsey shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly.  "You'll see."

Lindsey hopped out of her chair and brushed past me.  I watched her walk out of the door, and I tried to shake off the feeling that I was missing something.  

Why was she always so brisk with me? What was she up to?

I was probably just paranoid.  Everything would be fine.
_________________________________________________________________________________

"You did what?! Lexi are you out of your mind?"

Cringing, I heard the censorship in Janet's voice and I turned around and glanced over to the small performance stage Lindsey was set up on.  Linking arms with Barbara Walters, Lindsey was smiling "modestly" into the camera.  

Taking another drink of my coffee I turned away to face the wall.

"I sold some songs to Sony."

"You mean out of your notebook??"

A sound tech raced in front of me, and I ducked down to avoid the boom mic he was carrying.  My coffee sloshed from the sudden movement, and I jumped back a bit, startled, when the hot liquid fell against my light grey shorts.  

Ugh, great.  Suddenly what Janet said sunk in.

"Wait a second."  My eyes widened in surprise and I cast a bewildered look at my cell phone.  How did you know about my notebook?"

Janet ignored my question.  "If you were going to do something like that I don't know why you wouldn't have just sung them yourself."

Janet's statement completely threw me off guard.  Bending down slightly to brush at the spilt coffee, long chunks of hair tickled against my arms.  "Are you insane?" I huffed quickly.

"What? You have a beautiful voice."    Everyone backstage went silent, and i heard the chords of Lindsey's music flow heavily through the room.  My heart skipping a beat, I recognized the music instantly and I felt a small shiver creep down my back.  Turning my attention back to my conversation I straightened and placed my coffee down on a table beside me.

"Have you seen me dance?"  
Janet paused on the other line.  "I see your point. Unless..."

"Janet drop it."

"Okay, how about we talk about Michael then?"

I narrowed my eyes.  "Are you purposefully trying to drive me insane today?"

Janet again ignored my question.  "Have you talked to him lately?"

In the past few weeks Janet had reached the opinion that there was no way Michael had cheated on me.  I wasn't sure why she thought this...other than he was her brother.  But she had been driving me crazy.

"Janet...stop."

"SO YOU HAVE!"
I cringed.  She knew me to well.

"What did he say?"

"Just. drop. it."

I pulled a strand of hair behind my ear and turned back around.  Lindsey stood in the center of the stage, and the lights were all dimmed.  Closing her eyes Lindsey stepped up to the microphone and slowly raised a hand.

"You know this isn't going to help, right? You're just running from your feelings."

"Janet..."

"What's this girl's name anyway? That's singing your songs?"

"Lindsey...Lindsey Carlisle."

The other end of the line went silent.   

"Are you kidding?"  Janet finally said.  " Lexi that's the girl that sings the duet with Michael on the new album and the one they cast for the video."

Inwardly I groaned.  "You aren't serious."

"...Lexi has Michael sent you a copy of the cd?"

Leaning back against the table behind me, I glanced over at the stage again and saw Lindsey still performing.

"No, why?"

The line went silent again.  "...Janet?"

"Lex...when are you coming home again?"

"Week after next.  Janet just tell me what's going on!"

Janet sighed.  "The video shoots Friday."

"Janet!"

"Lexi you'll just have to hear the song.  I don't even know what to say other than your going to flip out.  On another note, don't you think that's it's weird the girl that's singing your music also signed on to work with Michael?  You don't think she's trying to exploit what's going on to jump start her career do you?  Does she seem like the type of person that would do something like that?"

Yes.

Hesitantly I watched Lindsey take a bow.  The crowd erupting around her, the cameras all panned in closer to her as the women on the show crowded around her to sign off.  I thought about how desperate Lindsey had been to get me to agree...and her insistance she be seen with me.  It hadn't made sense at the time, but now talking to Janet everything clicked.  

And I wanted to kill her.

"What am I going to do?" I moaned, covering my face with my free hand.  

If Janet was right, I could expect Lindsey would use the time we were together to dig for details.  Not to mention would probably try to stage situations between Michael and I when she was around to get her name in the papers.   The situation was a mess.

"Lex...do you have a copy of your contract?"  

"Yeah, at Frank's.  Why?"

"I'm going to head over and grab it.

Helplessly I watched Lindsey walk in my direction and stop a few feet away to get unwired.  Quickly Janet and I both hung up.  Narrowing my eyes in her direction I watched her walk over to me.  Sliding my cell phone back in my pocket I took a step torwards her.

"Why did you tell me you were doing a song with Michael?"

Lindsey's eyes widened, but only momentarily.  Looking over at her shoulder Lindsey slowly lifted a hand and adjusted her sleeve.  "I didn't see how it was any of your business." She responded nonchalantly, raising an eyebrow.

None of my business?

"Are you kidding? I asked you what was on the schedule for the week and you told me nothing about it.  You seriously don't see an issue with you performing a song with my ex and dragging me along with you unknowingly?"

Lindsey's eyes darkened and she jerked her head back to look at me.

"If you knew how to keep your man then it wouldn't have been my responsibility to tell you anyway."

Turning around on her heel, Lindsey stomped off torwards her dressing room and her bodyguards fell in line behind her.  Shocked, I felt the irritation rise up in me watching her go.

There was no way I was putting up with this for an entire year. There had to be some way out of this.

______________________________________________________________________________

"Lexi. i'm telling you.  The only way out of this contract is if you take over the songs and perform them yourself.  And to do that you are going to have to audition and wait for approval.  Which means she still has access to the music in the meantime. And access to you."

I ran my hands through my hair in irritation and turned back around to look at Janet, who was sitting on Frank's couch in the living room.  Papers scattered out all around, Janet had spent the last few hours consulting the Jackson's lawyer.

Dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a bright orange tank, I could tell that Janet had been here for hours trying to figure out how to help. I had just wallked in the door, Lindsey insisting I have dinner with her uptown and take her shopping.  Wearily I tossed myself on the couch nexxt to Janet.  Reaching next to me I grabbed a black throw pillow and put it over my face.  

"This cannot be happening" I moaned, sinking deeper into the cushions.  

"I really think you could nail the audition Lex...do you want me to set up?"

Tossing the pillow on the floor, i glanced over at Janet and put my hands on both sides of me.  "The alternative to Lindsey ruining my life cannot SERIOUSLY be recording all of my songs, performing a tour, and putting my entire life on display.  That's insane.

Janet shrugged her shoulders and picked the papers up.  

"That's the only way your going to end this."

I let out another moan and glanced up to the ceiling.  "Maybe Lindsey isn't as bad as we are thinking and it's all just a coincidence."

Janet tossed a pillow at me and I turned to look at her glaring.

"Come on.  You don't seriously believe that do you?"

No.

Sighing, I closed my eyes and reached up to rub my temples. "I don't know what to do."

"Maybe you need to just take some time to think about it.  I mean, she's already released the first single so you've got a little bit of time.  I just wouldn't wait too long."

"I guess..."

Miles of desert surrounded me and I stared across the interstate and watched the tide shift back and forth in the transluscent sea. The long graceful movements were beautiful, and with each crashing wave the ocean's large and mighty presence made me feel not quite so alone. Inhaling deeply, I tasted the salty ocean air on my tongue as I watched the water spike against the large gathering of rocks to the left and I tried to make sense of all the conflicting emotions in my mind.

Everything felt so hazy and confusing. What was I supposed to do now?

Silently I wondered how I was going to pick up all the pieces of my life, and when I did where that path would lead. Just as the waves crashed over the shore it felt as though all of the events that had unfolded in the last few months had swarmed in against me, covering me in the same suffocating blanket the waves provided. I felt powerless to stop any of it... It felt as though I would never come up for air. My heart still overwhelmed with the grief over losing Michael, I couldn't make any decisions regarding Lindsey and I was quickly running out of time.

What would mama do?

I hadn't talked to Katherine in forever...and honestly I didn't feel like any of this was something I could discuss with her. Wishing desperately for some sort of sign, I reminded myself that today was probably not the day to make any type of life altering decisions anyway.It was hard enough to know that I was here at the shoot for for Michael and Lindsey's video.

I'd have to wait until later...when all of this was over. Hopefully somehow by then I'd be able to make sense of what I should do.

Standing a couple hundred feet away from the large white building and exterior permieter, I heard the multitude of people behind me preparing for the shoot and I wrapped my arms tightly around my stomach. It felt so different to be on one of Michael's shoots not being connected to him. Camera crews, directors, makeup and hair stylists, Lindsey's bodyguards and manager...everyone was here but Michaels camp and I didn't want to be anywhere near them when they did arrive.

Trying to maintain the space between me and everyone else I felt overwhelmed staring at the incandescent sea. Watching the wave's crash against the sandy shoreline, I blocked out the noise around me and closed my eyes, trying to push aside my loaded emotions.

"Lexi?"

Frank's voice interrupted my internal musings and I looked over to see him standing beside me. Shooting him a small smile, I sunk my toes into the sand and tried to still the pain in my heart realizing his presence also meant that Michael had arrived.

"Hey.."

Frank's crystal blue eyes peered down at me knowingly beneath his furrowed brow and sandy blonde hair and I stepped closer to him. Not sure why I had even tried to appear okay, I was grateful when Frank's warm strong arms wrapped around me tightly. Laying my head against his chest I felt Frank press a protective kiss to the top of my head and I ran my fingers along the edge of his black Armani suit coat.

I felt stronger, having someone finally here that understood what was going on. Both of us stood unmoving, until Frank's radio went off indicating he was needed and before he released me Frank leaned down and whispered in my ear.

"He doesn't know you're here."

My eyes widened and I took a step back from him in surprise.

"So if you want to stay behind the scenes..."

I felt my heart skip. Then he would never know I was here...and I wouldn't have to confront him.

My head pounded wildly from the added tension, and my heart felt even more conflicting emotions. Deciding no matter how I felt it would be better in the end if I avoided him I vowed to try my best to stay back from what was going on. No matter how badly part of me may have wanted to see him.

That is, if Lindsey would allow it.

Frank gently squeezed me one final time, and then broke the hug. Taking a step back from him I looked over to the set and saw Michael several yards away leaning against a classic red mustang convertible. Dressed in a white muscle shirt and a black pair of jeans, Michael looked incredible with his hair pulled behind his neck and large wire rimmed sunglasses perched on his nose.

"Michael..."

I whispered his name so low, Frank didn't even hear me. Memories washed over me from the past, and closing my eyes I remembered the last time Michael and I had driven home from an event together. It had been only been a few months ago but now, standing here, it felt like an eternity ago.

Flashback

"Michael... you cannot have my ice cream."

Sitting in the limo snuggled up next to Michael, my eyes twinkled in merriment dodging his large slim hands. Lifting my ice cream cone high in the air I let out a loud squeal as he clutched my waist tightly, lifted his head up and swiped a bite from my cone.

"Michael!"

Ice cream dotting his nose and left cheek, Michael's chocolate brown eyes stared down at me merrily as he chomped on the stolen treat. Licking his lips Michael leaned in close to me for a kiss.

"No!" I placed my finger to his lips giggling. "No kiss for you. Thief."

Michael growled. Getting up out of his seat, Michael quickly came around in front of me and tossed himself on my body, knocking me back onto the seat.

"What are you DOING?! I squealed, falling back against the crisp leather bench. Placing both of his hands on either side of me, Michael's eyes were crinkled happily and long ebony curls trickled over his forehead. Adjusting my black wool coat beneath him with my free hand, I looked up to see Michael lean in to me again for a kiss.

"No" Giggling I turned my head playfully towards the seat and I heard him let out another growl. "Not gonna happen. Your too Bad for me."

Michael's loose curls tickled against my neck, and my ice cream cone still perched half haphazardly over the floorboard, Michael quickly pinned me down and leaned over to snatch another bite.

"Michael!"

Michael's black leather jacket rose up slightly, and I saw him successfully steal a bite. Letting out a squeal I jerked my ice cream away from his mouth and I wiggled underneath him trying to get free. Not giving an inch, Michael locked his legs around my hips and shot me a cocky grin.

"What's the matter Lex? Lose something?"

Evidently.

Michael's eyes shimmered mischeviously beneath his perfectly arched brows and any retort I was going to respond with quickly faded away feeling his breath tickle against my neck.

"Your ridiculous..." I murmered half heartedly. Michael's eyes searched my face, and reaching up, I grazed my fingers slowly along his cheekbone. Noticing the change in my expression, Michael's eyes softened and he tilted his head to press a gentle kiss to the oustide of my hand.

"I was starting to wonder if you liked me anymore... since you wouldn't kiss me" He chuckled, leaning torwards me.

I furrowed my brows playfully and crinkled my nose. "Your still a thief."

Michael's eyes shone with humor and I shifted slightly underneath him. Wrapping my arms tightly around his neck, the forgotten ice cream cone slipped from my hands and fell to the floor. Michael's lips parted, and my breath halted in my throat as his lips collided against my own possessively. Clasing strands of Michael's hair between my fingertips, my back arched from the sheer intensity of his body being etched so closely against my own and his kiss felt electric. Feeling his heartbeat beneath his exposed undershirt I closed my eyes and sunk deeper against the seat.

"I knew i'd get my kiss."

Michael murmered the words against my lips, and the haze lifted. Realizing he must of seduced me to make a point I moved my head slightly away from his and glanced up at him incrediously.

"Did you just kiss me to prove i'd let you?"

Reaching down to caress my face, Michael moved a strand of hair away from my eyes and chuckled lightly.

"I plead the fifth."

End Flashback

The moment had been so easy, so flawless and I missed every second of our time together. Letting out a shaky breath I blinked a couple of times.

You'd think with all of the people that I had lost i would have mastered the art of letting go.

"How long is this supposed to last?" I finally whispered looking over to Frank.

Frank's eyes searched my own and I felt uncomfortable knowing that soon he'd be back over with Michael. "I think Mike mentioned something about wrapping on Tuesday." He said awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck.

Tuesday? As in four days from now??

I let out an aggravated sigh and ran a hand through my hair. Scanning the crowd for Lindsey I found her sitting in a director's chair dressed in a skimpy white skirt and matching midriff shirt. Her long dark hair flowing over her shoulders, Lindsey's eyes were focused intently on whatever she was being told and mentally I reminded myself that after next week I was free of her for two weeks.

And free of being forced near Michael.

I just had to get throught this.

"Have you heard the song yet?"

"No...he did tell me the title. Something about a closet."

My eyes shot back over to Michael and I saw him talking with the director. Towering over the petite bald man, Michael smiled and nodded politely at whatever he was saying. Watching him I wondered if maybe the song was one of the enviromental ones Michael had shown me awhile back. It would explain why we were outside. Although...that certainly wouldn't have explained Janet's reaction when I told her i'd be here.

"Lexi, i really need to head over and see what's going on. I'll catch up with you later though okay?"

Frank touched my arm, and I smiled and nudged my head torwards the set. "Sure, i'll catch you later."

Frank leaned in to me and brushed a kiss against my cheek. I smiled, and mouthed goodbye to him one final time as he turned and headed back over to Michael.

I guess i had better check on Lindsey anyway.

When she noticed I was gone she was bound to scream my name across the set looking for me and if I wanted to keep a low profile I had better shadow her until she was called for a take. I peaked over at Michael to make sure he was distracted and when I saw he was I took off torwards her.

"There you are." She huffed when I got close. Forcing myself not to groan in irritation I saw a chair a couple of feet away and I clasped both arm rests and hopped up in it.

"Here I am." I agreed, casting another look in Michael's direction. Still leaning against the car, Michael's eyes scanned over a stack of paper's in front of him. His brow furrowed in concentration, I had seen the look on his face a million times before, each time when he was working on his music. Breathing a sigh of relief that he was still distracted I forced myself to relax again. I was going to have to calm down if I was going to keep myself away from him and survive the next few days. As paranoid as I was I was bound to trip over something watching him and make a huge scene.

"What are you looking at?"

Resisiting the urge to scream, I looked back over to Lindsey. I was not in the mood to deal with her drama today. Blowing a frustrated breath between my teeth I forced a smile. "Nothing."

Lindsey followed the direction i had been looking with her eyes and then looked back to me, a snide smile on her face. "Stalking him with your eyes?" She retorted, tossing her hair behind her shoulder. "It'll do you no good. Michael's moved on."

What the heck was she even talking about? I had just seen him a few days ago and he clearly hadn't. Besides it was none of her business.

"Whatever."

Lindsey gave me a knowing look, and it irritated me to no end to know she realized how much her comment had irritated me. I crossed my legs and clasped my hands around my knee trying to look nonchalant.

"You'll see."

Just then the director's assistant approached Lindsey with a clipboard in his hands. Dressed in a black t-shirt and dark khaki shorts, whisps of his short blonde hair fell over his light green eyes and he gave Lindsey a warm smile.

"Michael's ready for you to meet him for the first take now."

Lindsey hopped out of her seat and started primping herself.

They could have her. I was more than ready for her to leave.

My eyes scanned the crowd of people and I saw Anna, Michael's assistant a few feet away talking to someone by the food cart. Quickly I turned my head away and decided I should probably move a little bit farther away from everything going on. Sliding out of the chair I swiped at the bottom of my dress to keep it from flying up from the movement and I inhaled deeply. Running a hand down the tan sequins littering my dress I headed in the direction of a small trailer that had been set up for Michael.

Knowing that he was being filmed with Lindsey I figured that would probably be the safest place for me to be right now. Moving past several piles of equipment and a couple of tents that had been pitched to hold supplies I walked behind the trailor and halted, surprised when I saw Natalie sitting in a director's chair behind it.

Why would Natalie be here?

Shooting her a curious look, Natalie's eyes scanned over me in disgust. Laying down the magazine she had been reading on her lap, she uncrossed her legs and popped a bubble with her gum.

"What, are you doing here..."

I raised my eyebrows and leaned against the trailer. "I was about to ask you the same thing."

"I'm with Michael." A slow catty smile filled her face and her eyes flashed posessively. Lindsey's words popped back in my head, and I reached up and touched my throat.

Was she...where they?

"Your together?" I whispered, in surprise. Natalie raised an eyebrow and cocked her head to the side. "Isn't that what I just said? Why don't you ask him?"

It didn't make sense.

I felt dizzy, and I reached behind me and grabbed onto the side of the trailer to steady myself. The hot metal burned the back of my legs but I remained where I was,unable to process what she had just said.

It couldn't be...

Michael was mine and a small part of me had believed him when he'd said he hadn't cheated on me. If that was the case, why was he dating Natalie a week after telling me how much he needed me? Was this the way he had always been? The hope I had been carrying dissolved into tears and they begin trickling down my cheeks. Reaching up to brush them away I jerked away from the trailer and pressed a hand to my stomache.

"Daddy?"

My eyes swung to the right, and Megan and a small boy came around the corner.

The same boy that I had seen in the photos. Which meant...

This was Michael's son. How much more was I supposed to take?

I watched them both approach in confusion and Natalie pasted a fake smile on her face and greeted them both.

"Hello darlings, where have you been?"

What the heck was going on?

Quickly I turned on my heel and raced torwards the set. I was desperate for answers. It didn't make sense that Michael was now dating Natalie and toting Megan and her child around with him unless I truly was wrong...that Michael didn't need me as much as I had hoped. My heart pounding furiously in my chest I searched the set for Frank hoping he could tell me what was going on.

Because I just couldn't accept what I was seeing.

I finaly found him, standing near the area where Michael and Lindsey were preparing to start. Too desperate for answers to wait until he was alone I stormed torwards him, unconcerened that Michael would see me.

"Frank!"

Eyes swung in my direction, and out of the corner of my eye I saw Michael glance my way and pale considerably. Refusing to look at him I stopped a few feet away from Frank. Sitting in a chair next to the other bodyguard on duty Frank leaned up in his chair and eyed me in confusion.

"Lexi...what are you doing?"

It only took a moment for him to notice the tears on my face and I reached up and brushed them away quickly.

"What's going on? Are you okay?"

"Lexi?"

I heard Michael call my name behind me and knowing that he was moments away from coming over to see what was going on I quickly grabbed Frank's arm and drug him torwards the area I had been staring at the sea earlier from.

"Lexi?"

"I'll tell you in a minute."

Michael's voice trailed behind me, and the tears that had been coarsing down my cheeks intensified. I quickened my pace, praying that he wouldn't follow and my sandals pounded furiously against the sand. Hearing Frank radio to his partner that he'd be back in a bit I finally stopped a few feet away from the interstate and released his arm.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

The words slipped from my lips instantly and Frank gazed at me in confusion. Nodding my head torwards Michael's trailor I swiped at my eyes again and inhaled deeply. Frank took a step torwards me and my heart stopped in my throat when I noticed for the first time Michael had trailed behind us. Only a few feet away from him I backed up shaking my head.

"No." I screamed, my voice breaking. " Go AWAY!"

Michael's presence transformed my grief into rage. Every promise he had thrown at me, every assurnace that he been innocent all came rushing at me and I felt like I was going to explode. Clenching my fingernails in my palms I stared at him coldly. The tears dried up on my cheeks and Frank glanced back and forth between us.

"Can someone please tell me what's going on? Lexi? Michael?"

"Or if Michael doesn't want to answer we could go ask Natalie. Or Megan."

Michael's face went completely ashen. "Lexi it is NOT like that."

Like hell it wasn't.

"Wait a second. Lindsey or Megan? What do they have to do with this?"

Poor Frank still had no idea what was going on but I was so angry that I couldn't even form the words to explain. Deciding to call Sony in the morning and set up the audition I realized that I was tired of everything going on and I was going to play by my own rules. I couldn't take all of this anymore. I needed to break away from it all and move on.

"Lexi, I swear."

"Save it."

Furious, I stormed away from both of them and I headed over to where my SUV was parked. I only got a few feet when I felt a hand slip over my wrist and, smelling Michael's cologne, I knew it was him. Letting out a frustrated grunt I ripped my arm away from him and kept moving.

"Lexi, why are you being so stubborn? Just listen to me!"

"Don't you have a video to shoot?"

"Good point, why don't you come with me and we can talk on the way back."

I rolled my eyes and kept walking.

"Lexi, this is ridiculous."

I heard the aggravtion in his voice, but I didn't care. I was pretty irritated myself. Keeping my eyes trained torwards my vehicle I kept walking until Michael circled around me and stopped abruptly, forcing me into his chest.

"Ugh, Just leave me alone!" I screamed, colliding against him.

"No. You're going to listen to me."

Michael's voice was calm, despite the slight edge to it.

My eyes flickered away from him, and I took a step back to put some distance between us. Using the extra distance, I tried to sidestep him but Michael blocked it.

"I am not listening to this." I retorted, shaking my head and looking torwards the water.

"Then you're going to stand there while I talk."

I said nothing and stopped fighting to get around him. Part of me wanted to hear what he had to say.

"Lexi, seriously stop and think. As far as Megan goes if I was stepping out on you while we were together don't you think Frank would have said something to you by now? Or at the very least clobbered me with his fist? And what about Janet? You think she'd still be pushing us together if I was some sort of man whore?"

Those...were actually good points.

"I am telling you" Michael's voice broke mid-sentence. "I don't know what's going on."

A slight breeze caressed my neck, and I felt whisps of hair whip against my back. Michael's eyes searched my face as he waited patiently for me to respond. Closing my eyes for a moment I tried to gather my thoughts before I spoke.

"Okay, then..." I finally started, opening my eyes. "Why are they here?"

"Megan and the kid?"

I nodded my head, and looked over to the water. Michael sighed.

"My lawyer said...it looked back that I had nothing to do with them. He said I needed to at least be seen with them until he figures out what is going on."

Well, okay. That made a lot of sense too.

"Alright, fine. I accept all of that." I turned back to look at Michael and placed my hands on my hips. Another warm breeze whipped across the humid desert, and a bead of sweat trickled down Michael's forehead. "But what about Nat.." I couldn't even bare to say her name. "The whore. Why is she claiming your dating?"

Michael's eyes fluttered in surprise and he looked away from me in amusement. Not finding my question very funny I waited impatiently for an answer, and Michael let out a low chuckle and turned back to look at me. Cocking an eyebrow, Michael gave me a mischevious look.

"Did you just call Natalie a whore?" He grinned, studying my face.

Michael's amusement made me uncomfortable and I furrowed my brow and narrowed my eyes.

"And? What if I did?"

Michael searched my face knowingly and chuckled again. "Your jealous aren't you?"

If this man thought I was going to admit I was jealous he was insane.

"Why is she here?" I responded cooly, ignoring his question. Michael took a step torwards me and I swallowed, watching the muscles ripple beneath his muscle shirt. Traitorously my throat hitched.

"You know.."

Michael's voice immediately lowered, and the amusement still evident in his voice he smirked and leaned in closer to me.

"If you like what you see...we could head over to my trailor..."

Michael's words made my gaze falter and I blushed.

"Id be glad to give you a tour..."

I cleared my throat again and reminded myself why I was so angry. He was not going to get me distracted.

"Michael...i'm serious. I want an answer."

"Your cute when your jealous."

Funny, it didn't feel cute.

"Michael!"

I was completely exasperated and he knew it. Watching me for a moment, Michael titled his head down and drew a circle in the sand with his shoe.

He was purposefully trying to stall to drive me crazy.

"You know, I don't see what the big deal would be anyway." He responded crossing his arms. "Didn't you break up with me?"

I scoffed. "That doesn't mean your free to date other people."

Michael glanced up and cocked an eyebrow. "Then what exactly does it mean?"

"It means... i'm sorting things out."

"Alone?"

"Yes."

"So if your alone, and i'm alone then that means i'm not allowed to not be alone."

"RIght."

Michael stared at me like i'd lost my mind and for a moment I wondered the same thing. What I was saying didn't even made sense. A few minutes ago I was furious and now here I was telling him he wasn't allowed to date? I didn't even know if I could trust him, so why was I still holding onto him so tight? Apart from me missing him like crazy I didn't even know how I felt about getting back together.

But still.

"Why didn't you mention any of this last week? You said...you said you didn't love anyone else."

"I don't."

"And that you didn't even want anyone else."

"I don't."

"Then why...?"

"Lexi, look. If I thought that you were going to take me back i'd drop everything. But...it's been four months and you still don't believe me. I tried last week...but your still pushing me away. I have to try and move on."

So Lindsey had been telling the truth. He really was trying to move on.

I couldn't believe it.

"Look...we haven't even went out once yet. We're grabbing dinner after this wraps tonight..."

Pain shot through me like a flame igniting but I forced myself not to show it. Not to react.

"I see..."

Michael sensed the disappointment and hurt in my voice and took a step closer to me. Reaching up, Michael's arm grazed against my cheek and he brushed a hand through my hair. "All you have to do is say the word Lexi, and i'll be here." Michael's soft brown eyes stared at me earnestly. "But I can't make you believe me...and it hurts too much to live in limbo like this. I'm sorry."

There was nothing that I could say...because deep in my heart I still couldn't make sense of what had happened and I couldn't lie just to keep him from moving on. Nodding my head, tears were lodged in my throat and my chest felt heavy.

"It just...feels like goodbye though doesn't it?"

"No." Michael vehemently responded, cupping my face in his hands. "No, never goodbye. You're too important to me for that...We'll always be friends."

Friends.

It was crazy to me that we were going full circle after all that we had been through together...but as much as I didn't want to admit it he was right. We both had to move on or this was going to crush us. Still, I had always thought in the end he would be here waiting for me...I guess I was wrong.

"I guess...friends will work."

Michael's eyes reflected the sadness in my own, and gently he pulled his hands from my face and took a step back.

"It will have too."

1 Month Later

Friends. Michael and I were friends.

And yet...

Knowing that I still wanted to ring Lindsey's pretty little neck every time I saw Michael's video for Keep It In The Closet. The first day of shooting had been my last, since I had stuck with my decision to audition for Sony and perform my tracks alone, and so it had been a complete shock for me to turn on the television a couple of weeks ago and see the porno-I mean video they had produced.

Thank God I didn't work for her anymore. I'd have committed homicide.

Blowing a breath between my teeth, I paced the small dressing room back and forth and I reached back to adjust the microphone that had been clipped to the waistband of my skirt.

How did Michael stand these things?  It was scratching my back and driving me insane.

The celery colored room was dimly lit since there were no windows and a small flat screen television on the wall played the end of Michael's video.   Hearing Lindsey's panting and Michael's line "If it's aching you have to rub it" I shot a nasty glare in the direction of the television and even though it made no sense, mentally dared Lindsey to rub any part of Michael's body.

Had I mentioned I was seriously glad I hadn't been there?

The last month had been a complete blur, and I hadn't seen Michael since the conversation we had at the video shoot.  Which... was probably a good thing. Since Michael had straightened his hair I wanted to jump him every time I saw his photo in a magazine.

 God only knows what i'd do in person.

I glanced up at the small silver clock on the wall and butterflies nervously flipped around in my stomach. Currently I was waiting to debut my first song and video on MTV and from what I could tell I was only moments away from them calling me out. Quickly I crossed the room to look in the small vanity mirror and I double checked my makeup. Satisfied that I looked as good as possible, I straightened and glanced over to the door.

Where was Frank?

Frank had completely hit the ceiling when he found out I was planning on performing the music myself and had quit Michael's service to work for me. I was thrilled...most of the time. Frank's overprotective nature seemed excessive at times but I was confident that he would keep me safe and it was a lot less awkward having someone I was really close to trailing me versus a stranger.

At times though...I would have given anything to have a bodyguard that cared just a little bit less. My first song hadn't even been released before today and already Frank had cranked up my security to an almost unbearable level.

At least thankfully I was still able to find some peace in the bathroom.

Releasing a sigh, my heart skipped a beat hearing a knock on the door across the room and I looked over hesitantly.

Was I ready for this?
__________________________________________________________________________________

"I want you to know all of us are really excited to have you hear with us."

I nodded my head graciously and smiled. "Thank you."

"So this is your first single?"

Nodding my head, I glanced around the small studio and I tried to avoid eye contact with the crowd sitting on the bleachers to the left and right of me. A large floor to ceiling window behind me, I stepped a bit to my slight left and tried to avoid looking directly into the camera.

Which, by the way, was NOT a problem since I knew an enormous amount of people were tuned in behind the devilish looking thing. It was much easier to pretend I didn't know it was there.

"Can you tell us about it?"

Carson, the video jockey, held a microphone up to my mouth and hesitantly I stepped in closer so that I could be heard better.

"It's a really fun track. Very upbeat."

Carson nodded his head patiently and lifted his microphone back to himself.

"The track is called Good Girl. Tell us, does it have anything to do with your recent split from Michael Jackson?"

My eyes widened, and I forced myself to remain calm and not react.

"It's a song about protecting yourself from the wrong kind of guy..." I coughed, trying to avoid the question.  "I think mainly it's just really...fun."

Carson stared at me, and mentally I slapped myself for being so awkward.

Good job Lexi.  I'm sure it wasn't obvious at all that you dodged the question. 

"Well, let's take a look at the video "Good Girl" by Lexi Adams. You heard it first, here on TRL."

_____________________________________________________________________________

"Please tell me that song had nothing to do with me."

I hadn't been off the show for ten minutes when my cell phone had vibrated. Turning around so that the sound tech could pull all of my wires off I pressed the cell phone up closer to my ear.

"Lexi..."

Michael was freaking out about the single release, and honestly, it felt pretty good hearing the aggitation in his voice knowing that in the last few weeks he had been photographed left and right with Megan.

I mean...i knew what he had said about the lawyers and all of that.  But still.  

"It sucks, doesn't it?"  I retorted cheekily, stepping away when I was given the signal that I was clear to leave.  Heading to the back door where Frank was waiting on me I mouthed a thank you when someone quickly moved out of the way to let me through. 

"Now you know how i've felt the last few months seeing your name blowing up with accusations."  

I heard static on Michael's end, and someone trying to talk to him in the background.  I stopped, when I got to the back doors and Frank quickly shoved them open and lead me down the hallway to the back stairwell.  My heels clicking against the tile floor Frank slipped an arm around my waist and held me closer to him protectively.

"That...is entirely different.  Lexi you can't perform music about our breakup."

I shrugged my shoulders. ""Listen...I honestly didn't think people would connect it. But they did...and now your just going to have to deal with it."

Michael's sigh was long on the other end, and a bit of guilt prickled me.  Biting the inside of my cheek I halted by the exterior door as Frank stepped outside to make sure it was safe and I leaned up against the wall.

"I'm sorry, okay? I really didn't mean to hurt you."

Michael sighed again.  "I know.  Just, maybe next time at least warn me?"

Michael's tone softened, I knew that he had forgiven me and I smiled.  Keeping an eye on the door for when Frank came back in for me I turned and reached up to twirl a strand of hair.

"Listen...I was thinking. How would you feel about me flying in to see you next weekend?"

Michael had just started the first leg of his tour, and my mouth opened in surprise hearing his suggestion.  

"What?"

"Coming.  to SEE you. Next WEEKEND."

Michael's tone was laced with humor, and glanced down to the floor I slowly traced my finger along the wall.

"I don't know...do you think that's a good idea?"

Michael went silent on the other end for a moment.  "Lex...if we're going to try and be friends we need to try and spend some time together.  If we wait to long..."

Sighing, I knew he was right.

The longer we avoided being around each other the harder it was going to be to get back to normal. 

"Okay.  We can try it."

"Great.  I'll see you then."

Sitting in the tiny pink lounge, air streamed down from the vent above tickling my neck and the silence reverberated through my room piercing my heart.

Was I ready for this? 

Michael's flight was due in sometime today, and my nerves were shot from the anticipation.   My entire morning had felt chaotic and out of control since he hadn't been able to tell me what time he would be arriving.  

It was hard to get anything done.

 Currently taking a break from meeting with my manager and the studio to finalize track selections and my schedule I was having a very difficult time focusing on my work and couldn't keep my thoughts from wandering back to Michael and his impending arrival. 

Our entire relationship had been completely redefined.  Where would that leave us now?

Our conversations this week on the phone had been brief and awkward and everything still felt completely off kilter even with us both attempting to try and move on. Dressed in a pair of dark skinny jeans and a soft black sweater, I nervously brushed a hand against my stomach and sat on the plush cashmere cream and pink striped bench in the center of the room.

Why couldn't I just push past all of this and move on?

Because I didn't want too...

I had always known the answer to my question in my heart and as much as I didn't want to admit it I couldn't let go and just try to move on because I was desperate for some sort of sign that I had been wrong.  The relationship I had with Michael had been everything I had ever been looking for and more.  It seemed like a pipe dream, like a fairy tale that had no possibility of coming to life but it was all that I wanted.  All that I could think about.

How had we gotten here?

Never in my wild imagination would I have ever envisioned being in the situation we were in right now.  It was so surreal...so completely out of the realm of my understanding.  It wasn't that like he was a total stranger I had only known for a few months. I had known him my entire life and if you had asked me if he could or would ever betray anyone or intentionally hurt them I'd have told you that you were insane.  He had never had that in him. I had seen so many people grow cold and selfish but never Michael. Fame had never changed him...he'd always been a kind and loving person.  Someone that would put everything they wanted on hold to enrich someone else's life.  It was hard to envision that same man risking everything that we had built like that.

My mind couldn't seem to lift from the whirlwind of confusion and everyone in my life had a completely different opinion about what had happened. I was finding absolutely zero clarity trying to sort through all of their outlooks. 

just couldn't wrap my mind around him cheating.

A knock on the door interrupted my thoughts and I turned and watched the door open tentatively. 

"Lexi?"

Jane, my manager, stuck her head around the door and peered at me beneath her large dark rimmed glasses.  Giving me a smile she motioned with her hand for me to come with her.

"I think we're ready for you again."

"Thanks."

Jane smiled and closed the door again.  Inhaling a breath I stood and slid my hands down my jeans.

Whatever I was feeling or thinking, I was going to have to table them for now.

___________________________________________________________________________________


 "So tell me, when did you know you wanted to go into music?"

Gia, the reporter I was being interviewed by, peered at me questioningly in a large overstuffed chair, and I shifted awkwardly on the dark blue loveseat across from her and adjusted my hair.  Shooting a glance over to Jane, Jane peered over at me encouragingly and I begrudgingly turned back to look at the reporter.

This could not get over quickly enough.

I still wasn't sure what time Michael would be here, and as soon as we had finished up at Sony Jane had mentioned the interview I was currently doing and rushed me over here. I was a bit irritated she hadn't mentioned anything about it to me before, especially since today I was a train wreck of emotions.

Still, at least it was keeping me distracted until he got here.

"It was really just a hobby..." I finally started, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.  Crossing my legs I reached forward and clasped them both with my arms.  "Writing helped me deal with my emotions.. It wasn't until..."

Until I broke up with Michael and needed to find some way to be independent.

I stopped myself before I said anything else, and I cleared my throat to try and change the subject.

"How much longer is this going to take?"

Gazing at me quizzically, Gia arched an eyebrow and pressed the small recorder closer to me.  Her long, red fingernails tapping against the small black device impatiently I knew she would eventually circle back around to the same question and inwardly I groaned. 

I was not in the mood to talk about Michael or my relationship with him. 

"I'm not sure. Probably at least another hour."

Shrugging my shoulders nonchalantly in reply, I titled my head to the side and listened for her next question.  Long auburn curls tumbling down over her shoulders, Gia ‘s brow was puckered in concentration and she scribbled something down on her notepad.   

"Now...about your relationship with Michael Jackson..."

Was she serious?  It was like she had read my thoughts.  She was headed into dangerous territory. 

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes and forced myself to smile politely. 

"We're still really good friends."

Michael?

Michael's voice filled the room suddenly and my eyes widened and my entire body jolted to attention hearing the soft lilting inflexion.  Turning my head to look towards the doorway I saw him standing a few yards away dressed in a black leather coat and matching pants. He looked amazing, as usual, and just the sight of him flipped my heart inside out.  I soaked him in, carefully absorbing every detail, and I noticed the same tension in his features I had seen mirrored in my own all morning. His dark brown eyes searching the room, Michael's eyes settled over onto me appraisingly and I shifted uncomfortably under his stare.

What was he doing here? I wasn't even ready to talk about him...how was I going to manage being with him?

"Mr. Jackson?"

Reaching up to run a hand through his hair nervously, Michael crossed the room until he was only a few feet away from the couch and gave both of us a hesitant smile.

"H-hey..." I whispered breaking the moment.

Michael's face softened a bit, and he mouthed the words back to me and returned my smile. 

"Mr Jackson...I had no idea you were going to be here. What a pleasant surprise."

Both of our heads turned to look in Gia's direction, and she stopped her recorder and motioned towards the loveseat I was on.

"Why don't you take a seat next to Lexi and you can join us?"

A seat next to me? 

The scent of Michael's cologne filled my nostrils and it felt intoxicating and frightening at the same time as the mountain of emotions that had been rolling within me heightened and came crashing in around me. Feeling the intensity of our connection, and the power of my desire consume me all at once a deep sense of foreboding knocked me off kilter heightening my discomfort.

 "Okay, thanks."

Michael's long strides were accompanied by the jingle of the silver buckles on the thighs of his pants and my heart lurched traitorously with every move he made.  Moving closer to the arm rest so that Michael would have plenty of room to sit down I watched Michael adjust the black fingerless gloves on his hands and take a seat next to me.  A soft click made me glance up and I saw Gia press play on her recorder again and scribble down something in her notebook.  Her eyes darting between both of us, I sensed that our conversation was getting ready to head back into Michael and I's relationship and my chest tightened with anxiety. 

"And how is it you both have maintained a relationship after everything that has happened?"

Michael and I both shifted uncomfortably on the couch, and I glanced down at my dark brown riding boots.  Pressing my foot deeper into the plush ivory carpeting I forced myself not to give into my irritation. 

I hated people prying into our private life...especially people that understood what was going even less than we did. 

I turned and looked at Michael and saw him leaning back against the couch.  His eyes strained, silently I wondered how many additional hours he had worked in the last few days to make this visit a reality and a renewed appreciation for him sparked inside me.  He had to be the hardest working man I knew.  Stretching his arms above his head, Michael linked his hands behind his head and stretched his long frame out on the couch.  His dark blue shirt lying against his muscular abdomen, I saw the contours of his chest beneath the material and my arms ached to wrap my arms tightly around him and lay my head against him.

"We were friends long before all of this started." I finally replied, forcing my focus away from Michael.  Turning to look ahead I saw Gia's eyes narrow in concentration and I reached up to brush a stray hair from my eyes.   "We are trying to get that back."

Gia gave a dismissive look in my direction, and my hand halted in surprise seeing her turn to look at Michael without even a word in response. 

What was that about and what was her problem?

"Don't you feel guilty coming around her after everything that transpired?"

Was she serious?

I heard Michael cough awkwardly beside me, and I tried to fight the overprotective urge that welled up in me.

Why was I even this upset she was questioning him?

Clenching my arms to my sides, I turned to look over at Michael and saw him staring out the window to the right of us.  I knew from the look on his face the question had upset him...and it made me angry knowing that Gia had taken advantage of Michael's surprise presence to question him down about the paternity results.

He wasn't here to answer questions like that...he was here to work on our relationship.

I still didn't know where Michael and I stood, or would eventually end up, but years of past history made me feel a sense of loyalty to him even though I knew it shouldn't.   I snapped my fingers to get Gia's attention shifted back over to me.

"Michael has a lot of good qualities" I answered again, sighing impatiently.  "Which is why we are trying to work through this."

Gia's eyebrows shot up in surprise, and her eyes narrowed challengingly. "But he cheated on you, and lied."

"There's a lot more to it than people realize."

Michael interrupted me before I had a chance to say anything, and I looked over at him in surprise.  His jaw locked firmly in place, Michael's eyes flashed protectively.

 "How so?" She said indignantly.  "You have a son."

"I-"

"You cheated and lied-"

Michael's mouth opened wide in surprise and he stared incredulously. "Now wait a second."

"Are you paying Lexi off to be seen with you for publicity purposes?"

Okay.  This woman was out of her mind if she thought we were going to sit here through this.

"That's it. I'm done."  My eyes flashed furiously, hearing the constant accusation and condemnation in her tone and I slipped off the couch and turned around to look at Michael.   Staring up at me in surprise, Michael's lips were parted slightly and I reached a hand towards him.

"Let's go."

"Lex? I can handle this."

"Lets. Go."

I couldn't stand seeing the wounded look in Michael's eyes anymore and I had a feeling if I sat here through any more of her questions I was going to be in the magazines for an entirely different reason.

Michael's hand slid into mine and I felt the cool leather against my palm as he got to his feet.  Motioning over to our bodyguards that we were ready to leave Michael and I walked wordlessly around the couch and headed towards the exit.   It only took a few moments for them to get us out the doors and down the hall and both Michael and I walked silently together, still holding hands until we were in the car.

"After you ."

Michael's hand slipped from mine as the limo door opened and I felt the ache of his hand being pulled away from mine as I got into the car and slid against the cool black leather bench.  Wrapping my arms tightly around myself I leaned back against the seat and my irritation settled back into nerves feeling Michael so close.  Turning my head to look at him I watched the door slam closed behind him and Michael glanced over at me curiously.
 
"What?" I asked.

Michael studied my face for a moment and then nodded his head no and turned to look out the window.  His reaction confused me and I reached up and brushed my hand against his arm.

"Michael? What's wrong?"

Michael's eyes never left the window, but I saw the inner turmoil reflected in his expression and the stiff posturing of his shoulders.  Knowing that if I waited long enough he' d finally tell me what he was thinking I waited expectantly for him to say something and it was only a few moments later he shrugged uncomfortably and looked down.

"Why are you defending me if you don't believe me?" He mumbled, keeping his eyes trained to the floor. 

. "Because I want to believe you..."

The words slipped from my lips in a fervent whisper before I realized what I had said and Michael's face reflected the same surprise my own did when he glanced up and looked at me.

"Lex...?"

Unaswered questions danced in his eyes, but I pretended like I didn't notice and looked away.  Focusing my gaze on the tinted glass window separating us from the front, I heard Michael clear his throat.

"Then why can't you?"

Michael's words fell upon my ears in the same reverent tone I had used a moment ago and the hurt and confusion laced into each word made me recoil internally. Swallowing back a lump in my throat, I listened to the music playing overhead from the radio and I shook my head "no".

"It's not that easy."

"Isn't it?"

Michael's voice sounded pained, and it made my throat close tighter.

"Dang it Lexi why not?"

Confusion and frustration rose up in my chest, and I reached up and rubbed my temples to the ease the pounding in my head.

"Listen...Michael if we are going to try and be friends we can't keep bringing this up."

"I will never stop bringing this up."

  I looked over to him, stunned.    "...I thought you were moving on?"

The lines of aggravation that had been in Michael's face only a moment before softened, and Michael scooted closer to me and cupped my face in his hands.

"My heart wasn't in it."

"...I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive you or believe you."

Michael's eyes flickered painfully, but he forced it back and rubbed his thumb along my cheek.

"I know... that I would probably be in the same position if it were me. " Michael inhaled a deep sigh and looked away from me for a moment. "In all honesty I don't know if I'd believe you either.  It hurts...that you won't try to-"

"I am trying..."

Michael's eyes flashed understanding as he looked back to me, and sliding his hand from my cheek up to my temple Michael swallowed.  "Okay...fair enough.  I wouldn't be here visiting if you weren't trying." Michael searched my eyes.  "I just wish things could be okay again."

"Me too..."

His fingers caressed the sides of my face and my breath hitched.  Closing my eyes I inhaled his scent and Michael's hands slid from my face as he pressed himself up against me tightly and slid his arms around my waist. Being up against his chest I felt the tears I had been suppressing all day finally slip from my eyes down to my cheeks and I grieved for the relationship we had both lost and were looking to find again. 

"I want to be able to..." I said through my tears, sniffling.  "But every time I do I see you in my mind with Megan and..."

"We'll take it one day at a time."

Sunlight escaped over the cityscape, and bright beams of light trickled in the windows of the small condo I was renting downtown.   The small beams of light reflecting against the paisley colored walls and the light yellow carpet,  I felt the warmth California breeze drifting through the open window and I pulled my bright pink robe closer to my chest and took a sip of coffee.

It was crazy how early everyone started their morning in the city.

My eyes roamed over the busy streets and crowded sidewalks, and wearily I thought about the adjustment I had had to make moving. Everything felt completely different moving from Neverland where everything was so peaceful to downtown LA.   It was a lot more convenient being this close to the label and the studio where I had been working on my album, but there were a lot of things that I missed about being out of town.

Like, for example, my privacy.

Michael's home was built nestled in the mountains, and security had been so tight I had never had to worried about making my way through hoards of fans or reporters unless I was coming through the main gate, and even that had been limited.  Here in the city, with the launch of my music and all of the things swarming in my personal life it was hard for me to step foot even into the hallway of my condo.

I had a feeling that would be worse now that people knew Michael was here visiting.

Making a mental note to text Frank and make sure they had bumped up security, I took another sip of my coffee.

"Morning Lex."

Michael's soft groggy voice sounded from the hallway, and I felt butterflies flutter in my stomach hearing his voice.  Turning around to give him a smile, I self-consciously wrapped my arms around my waist and let my eyes soak in his form.  Dressed in red and white checkered bottoms, Michael's long black hair fell loosely over his bare shoulders and my eyes widened in surprise seeing his exposed chest.   Not able to keep from blushing, I shot him a quick smile and turned back to look out the window.

"Morning." I choked, looking down to my mug.

Michael's reply was muffled from a yawn, and I was relieved realizing he hadn't seen me blush.  Clearing my throat I turned my eyes back down to the street and I saw someone waving patiently out their window. 

"Move out of the way you mother f-"

The man's ranting was cut off by the blast of a horn, and I rolled my eyes seeing the man in front of him hop out of his car to confront him. 

"Looks like paparazzi to me."

Michael's voice startled me, and in surprise I turned to see that he had come up to stand beside me.  His eyes assessing the busy street knowingly, I felt the butterflies multiply in my stomach and I glanced back down at the road to see that he was right, both men had elaborate camera setups loaded in the back of their vehicles.  Releasing a small sigh I looked straight down in front of my condo and saw a hoard of photographers down below.  Realizing both of us better get away from the windows before they looked up and started snapping pictures I took a step back from the window and closed the sunny yellow curtains.

"Do they ever sleep?" I muttered, lifting my mug to my lips.

Michael chuckled softly beside me, and I looked over at him.  A soft tendril of hair falling over his forehead, without thinking I reached up and brushed it back in place.   The stray strand felt soft against my fingertips, and his eyes widened in surprise at the unexpected touch. 

"Thanks..."

There was a moment of silence as both of us tried to recover from the contact, and I quickly looked back down in my mug and turned towards the kitchen to avoid eye contact.  Brushing my hand along the rim of the cup, I heard Michael clear his throat and I swallowed a lump in my throat.

"So what's on the schedule for today?"

Shaking my head, I forced myself into motion and I walked over to the kitchen and set my mug on the counter.  Walking over to the sink I turned on the water and ran my hands under the faucet.  The water felt cool against my fingers, and the white tile floor beneath my bare toes created a chill down my spine as I turned off the water.  Reaching beside me to grab a violet colored hand towel I looked back over at him.

"I'm rehearsing one of the songs off of my cd for the AMA's next week."

"You're performing?"

Michael's voice mirrored the surprise in his features, and I nodded my head and smiled seeing his eyebrows lift.   "Yeah, a duet."

"With who?"

"A country artist."

Michael's eyes roamed over my apartment he nodded his head slowly.  "And afterwards?"

"Then I'm all yours."

Had I really just said that?

"If only..."

Michael's reply was whispered so softly I barely heard it, and I felt my throat tighten hearing the longing in his voice.  Inhaling a deep breath I ran my hands along the edge of the counter and I hesitantly looked up at him.  His lips parted slightly, Michael's eyes were clouded over with emotion and I felt my voice hitch.  Frozen at the counter...neither of us where sure what to say and I reached up and brushed a hand against my neck and looked away. 

"I-I need to get ready."

I rushed around the edge of the counter and I made my way into the hallway and headed down to my bedroom.  Quickly opening the door, I stepped inside and inhaled the vanilla raisin diffuser.  Pushing the door closed with my leg, I leaned back against it and sighed.

If I planned on us keeping our distance...it was going to be a long visit.
____________________________________________________________________________________

"Standby camera 1"

"Standby camera 7"

"Standby camera 12"

"Standby camera 17"

"60 seconds and counting everybody."

Standing behind a large silver tower, a few stage techs helped me wire up correctly in my microphone and I peered out at the large, empty arena. I felt sick to my stomach, knowing that in a few days all of those seats would be filled and I sucked in a deep breath and laid a hand against my stomach.  Dressed in a long purple and yellow floral dress, I was getting ready to do my first run through of the day and I was having a terrible time fighting the nervous anticipation. 

"This is different, isn't it?" Michael chuckled beside me, peering over my shoulder at the stage.  "You  being the one on stage and me being the one watching."

I turned and looked at him, and I felt the tech loop the final wires over my ear.   Wearing a dark black sweater and tight black jeans, Michael's hair was clasped behind his neck in a silver clip and his dark brown eyes twinkled as he smiled at me teasingly. 

"No kidding.  I think I'm going to throw up."

Michael's eyes softened, and stepping behind me Michael wrapped his arms around me reassuringly.

"You'll be fine.  I'll be here the entire time."

My legs felt weak, feeling Michael's strong arms wrap around my shoulders, and I leaned back against him and inhaled his scent. "Are you going to be here for the show too?"

"Yeah.  I'm nominated for a few things."

"Alright Lexi, we're ready for you.  Brad's queued on the other end of the stage."

Michael squeezed my shoulders one final time and released me, and I felt my heart leap into my throat.  Peaking around the silver beam one final time, I squared my shoulders and my light silver heels clicked against the black stage as I walked over to my mark.

"Good luck" Michael softly whispered behind me.

Running my hand along the narrow purple band at my waist, I took one final look at my dress and I watched Brad take his place on the other end of the stage.  Slightly nervous about the run through, I was even more nervous that Michael would be hearing me sing in person a song that I had written about our breakup.  Trying to push my worry aside I glanced towards the edge of the stage and heard the opening chords of the song filled the room. 

Glancing back at Michael one final time, Michael was leaning against a wall with his arms crossed and he shot me a wink.  Too nervous to smile back I turned around hesitantly and I searched the stage until I saw Brad walking towards the center in a light beige cowboy hat, dark brown shirt, and a pair of jeans. 

Leaning his head down to look at his guitar, fog lifted from the stage as Brad moved closer and I stepped out on the stage and held back the bottom of my skirt that fanned out at my hips.  The air lifting it up in a fluttering billow, I listened as Brad sang his part and then joined in.

"Remember the airport dropping me off, we were kissing goodbye and we couldn't stop"

Brad's fingers moved swiftly on his guitar and we met at the center of the stage and locked eyes.

 "I felt bad cause you missed your flight, but that meant we had one more night...."

A few other guitarists on the stage made it possible for Brad to take a break from playing, and like we had rehearsed a few weeks ago he took a step towards me and placed a hand on my thigh. 

"Do you remember how it used to be, we turned off the lights and we didn't just sleep.."

"CUT!"

I opened my mouth to sing my next line, and raised my eyebrows in surprise when the music stopped.  Shooting a curious look down at the bottom of the stage to see if it had been one of the people in charge that told us to stop I was surprised to see them standing next to each other pointing to the edge of the stage.  Curiously I followed their gaze, and surprised I realized they were staring at Michael who had come to stand a few yards away.  Glaring possessively between us, Michael's arms were crossed and his face was flushed in irritation. 

I knew that look.

Realizing that he was about ten seconds away from marching over here, I quickly stepped back so that Brad's hand would slide off my thigh and I turned and walked over to where Michael was. 

"What's going on?" 

People chattered in hushes whispers on both sides of us, and I knew they were watching our conversation eagerly hoping to witness some gossip first hand.  Keeping my focus on Michael I pushed my microphone down so our conversation wouldn't be broadcast for everyone to hear and I ran a hand through my hair in frustration.  Ready to get the rehearsal over with so Michael and I could go home and spend some time together, I tapped my foot impatiently and waited for him to answer.

Still glaring back to where I had been a moment before, I heard Brad laughing behind me with a couple of the guitarists on stage and tuning his guitar for the next take.

"Was that all really necessary?" Michael said gruffly, shooting me a disbelieving look. 

Confused as to what exactly he was talking about, I shrugged my shoulders and raised my eyebrows.  "Us..singing?"

"Him accosting you."  Michael's chin lifted stubbornly in the air, and I saw a glint of irritation in his eyes.  Reaching forward to touch his arm I accidentally stepped on the hem of my dress and I scooted a bit to the side to release it.

"Michael..."  I huffed, untangling my sandal. "He's married"

Strands of hair fell over my eyes as I straightened and glanced up at him and Michael's arm swung down knocking my hand off.  Raising my eyebrows in surprise I realized that Michael's jealousy went a lot deeper than I had initially realized and I coughed, trying not to giggle.

It was kind of nice seeing him jealous since I had spent so many rehearsals watching Natalie rub all over him.

 "He was still accosting you."

My eyes glittered merrily, and I put a hand over my mouth to keep from smirking. "Michael..."

He watched me trying to control my laughter, and the lines on his forehead deepened.  "He was practically trying to have sex with you on stage."

 "Are you kidding me?"

"Don't act like you didn't notice.  You were giving him a "come hither" look."

"A what?! Michael have you gone crazy?"

Michael crossed his arms in front of his chest, and I heard the whispers of a couple of people close to us increase seeing the frustrated look on Michael's expression.  Deciding to try and move our conversation further out of earshot I quickly turned and motioned for a break and then tugged Michael's hand free. 

"Follow me..."

I drug both of us back behind the stage to a small private room that was being used for storage and I opened the door and stepped inside.  Releasing Michael's hand, I watched him step inside behind me and shut the door.  The room had a musty smell, and I crinkled my nose in disgust and took special care not to lean up against any of the stacked dusty equipment.  Running my hand through my hair again I sighed impatiently and looked back up at Michael.  Glaring stubbornly down at me, Michael crossed his arms again and leaned against the door.

"You don't have to do any of this you know.  I'll take care of you."

So that's what part of this was about.

"Michael..."

Michael's eyes clouded over, and he looked away from me to a metal rack filled with boxes.   Noticing the change in him I stood in place for a moment, not sure what to say, and then I sighed and glanced down to the floor.

"Michael we aren't even together."

"Yet.."

The words were spoken with urgency, and hearing the passion behind his tone I glanced up to see him staring at me.  Swallowing, I looked away again.

"We aren't even sure that's going to change, remember? We talked about taking things slow."

"Do you still love me?"

I blinked, surprised.

"What?"

"Do you still love me?"

Conflicting emotions rolled over me, and nodding my head yes I blew a breath between my teeth and looked up.

"Yes, but that doesn't mean..."

I felt Michael's arms wrap around my waist, and I looked at him surprised as he leaned his forehead against mine.  Feeling his warm breath against my nose, Michael's eyes flashed with unabridged intimacy and his fingers caressed against the silk of my dress. Wanting to give into him and kiss him and at the same time wanting to pull back and put some distance between us I was paralyzed in fear.

Michael, seeing the fear in my eyes, searched my face tenderly.

"It means everything. Lexi look in my eyes and tell me you think I would do anything to hurt you."

Stubbornly I looked away from him.

"Lexi..."

His soft pleas forced my attention back and I blinked back a couple of tears and locked eyes with him.

"Just please...try to believe me."

My heart told me to believe him, but I couldn't think being wrapped up in his arms and I stepped out of his embrace and backed up. 

"I need...to get back on stage."

"Lexi..."

Without looking at him I quickly walked past him and opened the door.  Hearing him still calling my name behind me I sped up my pace until I was to the beginning of the stage again and I reached up and brushed away the tears falling down my cheeks so that no one would notice I had been upset. 

"You know, at some point you're going to have to decide what you believe."

Frank, munching on a bag of potato chips, stood a few feet away from me and stared at me knowingly.  Sighing, I nodded my head in agreement.

"I know"

"When exactly do you think that will be?"

I shrugged my shoulders helplessly and looked back to where Michael was approaching from.  His face looking defeated, my heart sunk.

"I don't know...I want to but-"

"Whatever you decide, you always have me."

Frank tossed the chips on a stool and pulled me into a hug.  Hearing his heartbeat beneath his coat I felt secure wrapped up in his arms and I took a long breath and closed my eyes.

"I'm glad."

The Next Day

"Lexi! Michael! Over here!"

Michael's hand tightened protectively around my waist, and I stepped into him, mesmerized by the smell of his cologne, as he tipped his light grey fedora over his eyes.  Both of us were moving intently through the large crowd trying to get inside of the lobby of the hotel and it was proving difficult even with security.  The AMA's later this evening, Michael and I had figured it would be a good idea to be closer to the venue and had both had all of our stuff delivered and set up ahead of time.

Now we only had to make it inside the building ourselves. At least we were talking this morning.

Yesterday after we had gotten home from the rehearsal had been incredibly awkward, and both of us had gone to bed without a word.   This morning so far had been better...both of us trying to forget what had happened but I was having trouble since every time I felt his touch or looked at him I flashed back and wondered if i had made the right decision to keep pushing him away.

Seriously though, how could I not? I couldn't trust him...not like I once could.

I watched him, thoughts churning in my mind.  Michael's porcelain white skin glowed, and his intense chocolate eyes were tilted towards the ground.  My heart pounded painfully in my chest looking at him, a feeling I was becoming all too familiar with, and my knee length tan riding boots sloshed through a large puddle of water near the curb as Michael's grip tightened around my waist possessively.  Desperate to slow my rapidly churning thoughts and to think about something else I forced my thoughts away from Michael and looked up at the hotel.  Nervous anticipation consumed me.

This was the first time I'd be attending one of these for myself.  It was a strange feeling.

 I was shocked that I had been asked to perform tonight...and had been even more shocked to learn that my first single's instant success had put me in the running for Best New Female Artist. It was convenient that I was supposed to attend tonight since Michael would have had to go anyway and he was visiting...but a large knot formed in my stomach at the thought of walking down the red carpet with him. 

God only knew how many questions I'd have to dodge again this evening.

I turned to look at Michael again as we stood a few yards away waiting for security to clear us inside. Trying to shield his face from the paparazzi, Michael's face was, for the most part hidden beneath the brim of his hat but I saw a hint of his thick ebony eyelashes beneath it.  Clasping the silver necklace that dangled several inches below my shoulders, I watched Michael and my thoughts, once again, returned to him.   It was amazing how, like my thoughts, I kept coming back to this one man even after everything that we had been through.  Even now, in the midst of a flood of scandal and controversy about our relationship here I was trying to work through it so I didn't lose him. It had to look insane to others...
And yet, none of that really made a difference to me.  I had to figure out what my heart was saying...but even in the cloud of confusion I knew for certain I couldn't ever completely let him go. I loved him too much.

If that made me weak, I wasn't sure that I cared.  In some ways the pull he had on me was an enigma; in others I understood it perfectly.  Life would have been so much easier if I could have moved beyond what we had and found someone out of the spotlight.  Our relationship at times was so hard...but my relationship with Michael in a lot of ways was part of my identity.  To give that up would be like losing a part of me.

If only he hadn't ended up in this kind of career...

 I wondered like I often did how such a quiet, private person had ended up with such an openly exposed career choice and life.  He had been such a loving, open child but even as a kid he had always desired a level of privacy.  It had surprised me, after everything Joseph had put him through as a child that he had desired to continue on with his career after the Jackson 5.  Despite the way his career was started though Michael burned with passion for his music and I guess it was something I guess he had sacrificed to share his love of music with others.

Would all of this happened between us if he hadn't? If he'd have chosen something less complicated?   I'd given anything to know...but knowing wouldn't change anything. 

I sighed, and twirled the silver chain watching a slight breeze fill the darkened landscape.  The wind wisped against my neck, and I shivered watching a strand of hair glide against Michael's cheek.  Glancing away quickly, I felt Michael jerk me and I fell against him as he protectively dodged us both right to avoid smacking into a photrapher that had jumped in front of us.   A bright light blinded me, and I squinted.  Grumbling beside me, Michael half waved to the crowd as he finally opened the large amber tinted glass door to the lobby, and I breathed a sigh of relief as the doors closed shut behind us.  Our security wrapped around us and secured the doors behind us and I slipped my sunglasses from my eyes and felt Michael's hand slip from my waist.


"Wow, this is beautiful."

  Turning to look at Michael I saw him glance back to the people on the other side of the glass.  Clearly not hearing what I had just said I cleared my throat and stepped closer to him.

"So you're staying another week?"

I heard a murmur of voices from the other end of the room as Frank confirmed our arrangements.  Glancing over at them for a moment, Michael turned and glanced me and gave me a small smile. "Yeah, that's the plan."

If only everything went as planned.

The happily ever after I had planned with Michael flashed across my mind and our eyes locked.  Clearing my throat, my fingers shook nervously as I reached up and brushed a curled tendril from my eyes.  With the swift movements of my hand, my large green and white rings creating prisms of light around me.   Watching the speckles of light fall against the tan colored rocks in the fountain, my soft white stilettos ground against the tan marble floor and the hem of my paisley skirt swished against my calves.

 Lightly tugging down the edge of my cream knit sweater, I soaked in the large gold and cream colored lobby and the tall etched marble columns.  A large water fountain situated in the center of the room, the room's decadent plush sectionals and floor to ceiling water fountains ensconced on the walls all lent to the tranquil colors.

"Lexi? Michael? We're ready."

Frank's voice from across the room forced my attention back to the check in desk and I felt Michael's hand against the small of my back.  Clutching my middle Michael and I walked silently the large metallic elevators and stepped inside as the doors opened.  My heels clicked against the light grey marble, and Michael and I's security piled in just as the doors closed. 

"Michael, Anna is waiting upstairs for you and Lexi she requested to see you for a minute too."

My brow furrowed in confusion and I glanced over at Michael who shrugged his shoulders. 

"Okay..."

The elevator dinged, and the doors slid open revealing the private hotel floor.  Hearing from Michael on the way here that all of these rooms were filled with other celebrities attending the same show later this evening I glanced curiously at the rooms as we passed by them. 

"Here we go Mr. Jackson.  Miss Adams your room is the one with the connecting door."

Nodding my head, I took my key from the head of Michael's security and smiled my thanks.  The floor secure because of all of the other celebrities, our security team headed down to the end of the hall to give us some privacy and Michael slid his key in the lock and opened the door.   The room decorated in dark blues, we stepped inside and were met by Anna, Michael's hair and makeup team, and his wardrobe assistant.  A small vanity table and chair set up in the middle of the room beside the large queen bed, the bathroom was jutted off to the back left corner and a large flatscreen television sat across a couch and loveseat in front of the balcony.  Setting my purse on the floor I saw the connecting door they had been talking about leading to my room and Michael slipped his fedora off his head and tossed it in a large overstuffed chair near the door.

"Good you're hear."

His team went into a flurry of activity and I sighed and walked over to the bed.  Spreading the soft velvet comforter beneath my fingertips I gingerly sat down and glanced over at Anna.

"So what's going on, they said you needed to see me?"

Anna's long brown hair flowed down both of her shoulders and her dark rimmed glasses were tilted down her nose as she looked down at a small brown clipboard in her arms.  Looking up at me hesitantly, Anna glanced over at the bed and bit her lower lip.

"Yes...about tonight."  Anna shifted the clipboard to her left arm and tucked a strand of hair against her ear.  "Frank and Michael's publicist aren't so sure you guys should be seen, you know, together..."

My eyes widened in surprise.  "What? Why not?"

Anna avoided eye contact.  "They think he should walk the carpet with Megan and his s-"  Clearing her throat Anna stopped herself in time and corrected herself.  "Her son."

"Un freaking believable.' I crossed my arms and my voice rose an octave " So now she's coming between us while we were trying to work things out?"

"This, is not happening." Michael's voice boomed his disapproval from over by the large glass doors leading to the balcony.  Moving a strand of hair from my eyes I glanced back over at him and saw his eyes flashing irritation in Anna's direction. 

Refusing to look at either one of us she continued.

"...And Lexi's management team feels it would be better for her if you guys were seen separately as well. They claim it makes you appear...weak."

"Of course they do." I rolled my eyes. 

"I don't care, we're going together and it's settled."

Anna hesistated. "Not...exactly.  You see they kind of already-"

The bathroom door busted open, and my jaw fell slack seeing Megan and her son.  Dressed in a pair of jeans and a red and pink striped tunic, Megan's dark brown hair fell over her shoulders in waves.  Giving me a catty smile Megan turned to look at Michael.

"Hey sexy..." She cooed, releasing her son's hand.

Shaking my head in disbelief I got off the couch and walked towards the adjoining door.

"Lexi, wait!"

I heard Michael shuffling behind me as he called my name, but quickly I threw open the door and stepped into my room.  My own makeup and hair crew setting up in a room identical to Michael's, I saw the gold dress I had selected laying in a garment bag on the bed and I turned to shut the door when Michael's hand clasped around the edge of it.  Peaking his head in the doorway Michael's eyes pleaded with me.

"Lexi...I didn't have anything to do with this.

Sighing, I wanted to be angry at him but I knew that was unreasonable.  He truly hadn't done anything wrong...but still.  Just the thought of Megan with him tonight was enough to make me want to hurl.

"I know..."

Michael searched my face, and swung the door open.   Taking a step back so that he could come in I ran my hand through my hair in frustration and watched him close the door.  Reaching forward to take my hand in his Michael and I walked silently past everyone and headed into the bathroom.   Letting go of my hand as he shut the door behind us I turned to look at the beige granite countertop and placed both of my hands on the edge.  Inhaling a deep sigh I looked down to the sink.

"This is insane..."I muttered, a lump in my throat. 

"Lexi, I'll tell her to go home.  This is supposed to be our time together and they had no right..."

I closed my eyes and my hands slipped from the edge of the counter as I straightened and turned.  Leaning back against the smooth edge I crossed my arms across my chest and opened my eyes.

"No...you can't do that."

Michael's eyebrows shot up and he opened his mouth to argue.

"No..." I held a hand up to silence him.  "Just listen, okay?"

Michael tilted his head slightly, and nodded slowly.

I sighed and continued.  "Her stuff is already unpacked...and her dress bought.  You really think she will go quietly? It would be all over the tv tomorrow that you were a man whore who would rather be seen without the mother of your child."

Michael winced and looked towards the closet.  Reaching up to run a hand through his hair in frustration his eyes clouded over.  "When is this all going to just end..."

His face looking dejected, my heart broke seeing the slump in his shoulders and the heavy makeup covering the circles around his eyes.  Blowing a breath between his teeth Michael bit his lower lip and placed a hand on the wall.  Hanging his head helplessly my heart couldn't stand seeing the conflicted agony in his eyes. Leaning up from the counter I walked across the room and wrapped my arms around his waist to comfort him. 

"This is all going to get better..." I sighed.  Michael's hand fell from the wall and his arms wrapped tightly around my waist as he pulled me close.  "I wish I had an answer to when it was going to...but whatever happens this all does have an ending point.  We just have to find it."

We stood, in silence.  I laid my head against his chest and Michael rocked us back and forth. 

"I get it, you know."  After a few minutes he finally whispered.  Confused I glanced up at him and crinkled my eyes.   Pain etched in his features Michael continued and stopped rocking.

"Why you don't believe me..."  He said searching my face. "I get that. I thought about it all last night.  I'm not mad anymore. I just miss you."

Michael's words ricocheted a bullet to my heart.   Wrapping my arms tighter around his waist, the sound of the radio playing in the other room trickled into the silent bathroom.

"I miss you too..."

_____________________________________________________________________________________

"Lexi...you look beautiful."

Sitting in my hotel room waiting to head over to the venue, Jermaine and I had been skyping for the last hour or so.  Tugging the laptop a bit lower so it wouldn't rub against the gold belt and silver clasp at the center of my dress, I grinned and turned my head side to side showing him my new haircut.

"Has Michael seen it yet?"

Shaking my head no, Jermaine let out a low whistle.  "He's going to flip."

"I don't care what he thinks..."

Jermaine gave me a knowing look and I sighed and tossed my head back against the back of the couch.

"Lexi you know as well as I do that something doesn't sit right here.  I mean, Michael sleeping with another women while you're in the hospital? I don't believe that no matter what a piece of paper says.  It's bull.  Even mama knows it.  She's refusing to see the kid. "

I pulled my knees up on the cushion and sighed.  "I know....but."

Jermaine shook his head no firmly and pointed towards me. "But nothing.  You're bullheaded and paranoid from your past.  You have men issues from your dad.  Although God knows I understand father issues...this is not something you need to question.  I know my brother and that man loves you."

I bit the inside of my cheek and looked at my lap.  "But what if he slipped up?"

"I don't believe it."

A knock on the door interrupted me from replying and I glanced towards the doorway to see Frank opening the door.  Dressed in a black suit with a gold tie to match my dress, Frank gave me an affectionate wink and nodded towards the door.  "You ready?"

Nodding my head I looked back to my laptop screen and gave Jermaine a reluctant look.  "Listen, it's time for me to head out.  I'll talk to you later, okay?"

Jermaine smiled proudly and leaned towards the screen.  "Sounds good babygirl.  We'll all be watching tonight.  Love you."

"Love you too."

I blew Jermaine a sisterly kiss and shut the laptop. Laying it down beside me I hopped off the couch and slid into my sandals.

"You look beautiful Lex."

I walked towards Frank and looped my arm in his.  Reaching up to brush a piece of lint from his coat I smiled at him affectionately and leaned up on my tip toes to brush a kiss to his cheek.

"Thanks."

Frank smiled and opened the door. 

"So are you ready for this?"

The door clicked shut behind us and we walked down to the elevator and pressed the button.

"I hope so."

A door opened in the hallway behind us and I turned to look, surprised by who I saw.

"Lexi? That you girl?"

I clung tighter to Frank's arm and I heard him chuckle beside me.

"Don't tell me your going to start fangirling again..." He whispered, playfully in my ear. 

No doubt.  I was totally going to.

Dressed in a pair of dress slacks, a white shirt, and an open black vest Usher walked down the hall to stand beside us and gave me an appraising look beneath his sunglasses.

"Girl, you look beautiful." 

I was going to melt into the floor and die.

"Thanks..." I stuttered, reaching up and twirling a piece of hair.  "You're beautiful too."

Had I really just said that??

A large grin spread across his face and the elbow of his crisp white dress shirt crinkled when he reached up and brushed his hand against his head.

"Thanks"

Frank coughed loudly tried to cover his laughing and I shot him a glare as the elevators door opened.  Quickly spinning back around on my heel I walked stepped inside and turned back around to lean against the back. 

Frank and Usher piled in behind me, and I looked down to the ground my cheeks red from embarrassment.

"Your Frank, right? Lexi's bodyguard?"

"Yeah that's right."

"So where yours date to this thing?"

"I, uh- don't have one."

Leaning back against the side of the elevator, he pulled his sunglasses down his nose and looked at me in surprise.

"Really?"

"Yeah..."  I half smiled and bit my lip.  "I had one lined up...but they backed out on me."

"Me neither.  ....You interested in joining me?"

Michael would flip.  No, scratch that...Michael would go homicidal.

"Thanks, but..."

"She'd love too." Frank interrupted, nudging me towards him.

The elevator shifted, and the doors opened revealing the lobby.  Turning to look between Usher and Frank my jaw dropped and I blinked in surprise.

"I-"

Grinning at both of us, Usher pushed his sunglasses up over his eyes again and took a step towards me.

"Great. I don't like to make it a habit of being seen without a beautiful woman on my arm."

This was going to turn into a scene from Michael's bad video before the end of the night.

Before I could say anything Usher gently linked his arm and mine and guided me off the elevator.  Glancing around the lobby nervously for Michael my heels clicked against the marble and I reached up and brushed a strand of hair behind my ear. Resigned to the fact that it was too late to say anything, I prayed that I'd be able to catch Michael and explain before he went ballistic.

Here went nothing.

Sunlight escaped through the soft cotton white curtains and shimmered strands of light across the mahogany floor and the soft lilac quilt I had my arms tucked under.  Releasing a yawn I turned over on my side and long strands of hair fell over my shoulders.  Surprised, I saw that the other side of the bed was empty and I glanced over torwards the bathroom and saw light streaming from underneath the door. 

He was up? Already?

Michael and I had been up most of the night, and although I wasn't sure what time it was the pounding in my head and the glue keeping my eyes from opening completely told me it was still early.  Releasing another yawn I covered my mouth and pulled the blankets off. 

I heard Michael's soft voice drift from the bathroom, and I smiled realizing he was singing to himself.  Getting off the bed I tugged my oversized t-shirt down over my thighs and I pulled my hair back behind my shoulders as I crossed the room to the bathroom.

His voice got louder the closer I got to the door and my smile deepened realizing he was singing the song he had written for me a couple of years ago before we had gotten engaged.  I glanced down to the engagement ring Michael had slipped on my hand last night again and I paused and watching the large saphire diamond sparkling against the white gold.  My heart warmed once again seeing it back on my finger and lightly I ran my fingers across my hand.

I had been so stupid the last few months running from him after all that we had been through.  The fear of abandonment clearly run deeper than I had imagined.  My dad had left a lot of disaster in his wake and I had stuffed it in and not dealt with it in a long time.  I had taken it out on Michael....we had lost a lot of time.

But we wouldn't lose anymore.

Finally, after months of being apart, I could once again envision our future together.  It was a dream I had thought was lost forever.  It was the only dream I had ever had that was worth having and when I had lost it the pain had been deeper than the loss of my parents.

They had never really loved me like Michael had.

Insecurities rose up in my chest as I thought about the pain I had put Michael through recently and I pushed them back down and inhaled a deep breath.

He was here....he loved me.  It was enough.

Forcing my thoughts away from the past and pushing them to the present I opened the door and Michael came into view.  Standing in front of the mirror with shaving cream on the left side of his face, a razor glided down his cheek.  His hair flowing down behind his back in waves I smiled and leaned against the doorway.

"Hey you."

Michael's eyes widened and I saw him hesitate and glance down to his chest. My eyes followed his to the large white patches on his stomach, chest, and shoulders and my heart melted seeing the uncertainity in his eyes.

Even as long as we had been together I could only count on one hand how many times Michael had taken off his shirt around me when the lights were on.  Even that was a miracle.  He rarely took his shirt off ever.  Being Michael Jackson he typically got away with it even when he was at the doctor or in the hospital.  Rarely did people argue with him.  I was pretty sure even his brothers and sisters hadn't seen him without his shirt on since the patches had appeared.

Leaning back up from the doorway I closed the chasm between us and I walked around him and stepped in front of him.  Careful not to look down at his chest I kept my eyes trained on his face.  Reaching up I gently brushed a strand of hair from his temple. 

"You're perfect to me..." I whispered tenderly, curling the stray hair around my finger.

Michael swallowed and his eyes still reflected uncertainity.  Leaning in against him I released the strand and I leaned my head against his bare chest and pressed a kiss to his collarbone.  "Perfect..."

I felt Michael's arms slip around me and he pulled me up and laid me gently on the sink.  Linking my legs around his waist I glanced up into his eyes again and ran a hand against his temple.

‘I love you..." He murmered in a strained voice. Smiling I latch my hands behind his neck and pulled his face torwards mine.

"I love you more."

Michael's lips met my own, and I closed my eyes in bliss feeling his warm, smooth hands reach up and clasp my hair.  The familiar scent of Michael's cologne wafted in the room and the kiss felt electrifying and familiar as our lips connected.  Unclasping my hands I ran my thumb along his jawline and Michael stepped closer to me and pulled me into him.  His fingers roaming in my tangled blonde hair, I gently bit the bottom of his lip and pulled away from him.  Our foreheads touching, I made sure to keep my face away from the shaving cream on his cheek.

"This is nice.  Being together...like this."

Michael pressed a kiss to my nose and lifted me off the sink.  "Mmm."

"What- Where are we going?"

Michael's chest moved up and down as he released a chuckle and I clasped onto his neck so I wouldn't fall. 

"Michael?"

Walking to the bed, Michael dumped me down on the comforter. 

"Oomph."

My hands slid from around his neck and I fell against the covers.  I felt my shirt ride up over my hips but before I had time to react Michael leaned over the bed and started crawling torwads me.  Pulling my hair from my face his head came to rest above mine and he leaned his body down against mine.  A drop of shaving cream fell from his cheek and dropped on my nose.  Crinkling my nose I turned my head away giggling.

"What are you DOING?" I squealed as another glob landed on my face.

Michael's mocha brown eyes shimmered in merriment and he tilted his head slightly and pressed his face against mine.  Releasing a loud squeal I felt the shaving cream smear across my face and I lightly jerked away from him.  His arms rested at my sides in an attempt to keep me still, and I squeezed my eyes shut as it spread across my forehead, jaw, and eyes.

"Michael Joseph!"

I reached up to wipe the soft white cream from my face and I felt Michael's chuckles deepen as he pulled his head away.

"You jerk..." I mumbled playfully opening my eyes.  Biting the inside of his cheek, strands of ebony hair covered in shaving cream draped the sides of his face and he tilted his head and kissed my neck.

Rolling my eyes, I pulled some shaving cream from my hair and tossed it at his nose.

Michael's grin widened and I squealed when he pressed his face up against mine and smeared It against my face again.

"MICHAEL! You are so DEAD."

"I've heard that before." 

"You'll be sleeping in the guest room tomorrow if you don't STOP" I giggled, throwing another gob at his face.

The teasing glint in his eyes faded and I watched him curiously for a moment until it dawned on me.

I knew that look.

Releasing my waist, Michael climbed off me and pulled himself up into a sitting position.  I followed suit and my heart dropped into my stomach as his warm, firm arms pulled me against him and tucked me in his lap.  Leaning against his chest I looked down at my hands and voiced my fear.

"Your leaving tomorrow aren't you...."

Michael tightened his hold on me in response, and I released a sigh and tilted my head back to look up at him.  His eyes closed, I saw him warring with his emotions and I knew that the look on his face reflected the inner turmoil I was feeling.

We had just only gotten together and he was leaving again.

"I don't understand though..."  I glanced back down at my hands and shrugged.  "I thought you were staying longer."

"I was....but the Children's Hospital called down in Phoenix.  That kid I was going to visit next week took a turn for the worse and so I'm flying down there tomorrow morning before...."

My heart lurched seeing the strained look behind his eyes and I felt a pang of tenderness for the sweet man I was marrying.  He was leaving me earlier to fullfill the dying wish of one of his fans.  And I knew how much he didn't want to leave me.  It was a big sacrifice for him.  Realizing this, I tried to push back my disappointment.  I nodded my head and leaned my head back against his chin. I felt him press a kiss against the top of my head and I closed my eyes.

"We'll see each other again....."

Not soon enough.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

The Next Morning

Tears slipped down my cheeks and I wiped them away and leaned my head back against the black leather bench.  In my limo on my way to a photoshoot, Michael and I had said our goodbyes at the airport about a half hour ago and it had been nearly impossible to let him board his plane.

He had to go.

The last couple of months Michael had been in touch with a family who's child had been diagnosed with leukemia and he had promised to come and spend a couple of days with him before he subcommed to his illness.  I remembered him mentioning it to me on the phone that he'd be leaving from my house next week and flying directly there to see him but I hadn't realized at the time it would be the deciding factor in his departure.  Still, even though the ache in my heart was great and the pain of him leaving so soon after our reconcilliation was making me crazy I knew that he had made the right choice when he'd received the call.  I also knew it wouldn't be the last time.  Michael would probably sing at the funeral as well.

More than any of the other Jacksons Michael had inherented Katie's sweet spirit and compassionate heart.  All of them were good natured and kind to others, but Michael and Katie were the kind of people that would always go out of there way to help others.  

Which is how they had ended up in my life.

I smiled thinking of that first Christmas when I'd met Janet and Michael.  It felt like an eternity ago, and I remembered the contrast I had noticed in my own home and theirs after I had went home that night.

There house had been warm, happy, full of love.

And mine....

My eyes shut painfully remembering the way my dad had snatched the Christmas present away from me and stormed off with it into his room.  I had begged, cried, pleaded with him not to take it but instead I had received a slap to the face that had sent me flying into the floor.  It had taken me weeks to find where had hidden it, and when I'd discovered it I'd quickly hid it between two loose floorboards in my room. 

It was the only time I had ever defied my dad.

Why hadn't he loved me?

Pain from my past seeped into my subconscious again, and I shook it off and wrapped my arms around my waist.  Shivering, I bit my lower lip and watched rain pelt the sides of the limo as we stopped at a red light.  Outside a few pedestrians walked the city sidewalks and the lights to a small green florist shop flickered on.  Watching the elderly woman arrange a bouquet in the window I inhaled a deep breath and collected myself.

Why was I rehasing all of these memories now? After so long? I had to let it go.  Move on.

But wasn't that what I had been doing all along?  Forcing myself to let it go? To not think about it?

It had always been easier to pretend that I was a Jackson and not think about my own family and it had only grown easier as I bounced from foster home to foster home.  I mean, who wants to sit and dwell about being nothing more than a paycheck? That's what I was to every foster parent I encountered.

It just....hurt.

I felt my phone vibrate in the pocket of my denim miniskirt and I broke from my thoughts and reached in to pull it out.  My silver charm bracelet jingled as I unlocked the screen and punched in my password.  As the home screen loaded a message notification popped up and I smiled when I saw that it was Michael.

I miss you already.

Tears streamed down my cheeks again reading the message, and I reached up and wiped the tears away before hitting back a reply.

"I miss you too."

I waited a few minutes to see if he replied, but when he didn't I knew he had punched the message as he was preparing to take off.  Locking my phone again I tossed it down next to me and sighed.

I didn't mean much to my dad or my mom, and that hurt.  At some point I'd have to address the insecurity it dredged up, and make peace with it.  But for now it was enough to know that with Michael...

I was home.