Reviews For An unexpected love
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Reviewer: pumpkincakes53 Signed [Report This]
Date: Oct 02, 2018 01:17 am Title: Chapter 1:The beginning of everything

Interesting concept

Reviewer: Nick Signed [Report This]
Date: Sep 07, 2018 10:47 am Title: Chapter 2:The romantic date

Hello fans of Mike and users of this page, due to problems with my notebook (PC) I had to send it to review and usually delay in that, so I am without
PC for a while, that means I can not publish more chapters of my series, you know that I get complicated with the mobile phone, so I hope that the people in charge of the page do not take me out, for not publishing according to its regulations, when I recover my PC,
update will be the first thing I will do, thanks for reading this notice.

Reviewer: Black8blades Signed [Report This]
Date: Aug 22, 2018 01:44 pm Title: Chapter 1:The beginning of everything

 I apologie but this catagory is called "Slash" which stands for M/M meaning male with male relationship only. What you're doing is male with female unless you're gonna surprise us with him dating a male later in the story than it's fine. Still if you're heading towards only M/F relationship then you placed in the wrong catagory. You're not the only one that made that mistake. You really did well in trying to type in English though! That's pretty awesome! Still the conversations and the descriptions made me stumble and confused, so be sure to seperate or clarify between the descriptions and their talking that way no one will get lost. Other than that a little more practice in this new language, commas, quotation marks and ending sentences with periods and you'll do fine! Keep up the good work!!



Author's Response: Thanks for your comment, I thought it meant that it was for using a real person in the story, my mistake :v. and if it is difficult to put it in order with the change of language and above it will not be written in reality and it will be like this until chapter 7 and onwards it will be better (although I have no idea to use (,.) and others, I never learned, it was the donkey of spelling and mathematics ._.)

Reviewer: Redone Signed [Report This]
Date: Aug 21, 2018 09:41 pm Title: Chapter 1:The beginning of everything

I skimmed and can’t tell where they are talking versus descriptions of scenery. Quotation marks around comments would clarify that. Also, periods in between sentences would help. Punctuation can make a story much easier to read or completely confusing.

 

You are brave to write in a language that isn’t native to you - I couldn’t dare!



Author's Response: Thank you for commenting, the truth is that this writing has many flaws (in advance I said not to write stories), but as I put in notes I wrote years ago on Facebook and even less wise how to write (now a little more, just a little XD), although I still have no idea how to use the commas and when to finish a verse or continue, but when I pass chapter 7, I will try to guide this story :P. And thanks, I'm the reel I wrote in another language on the page >:3

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