Date: Aug 19, 2018 04:08 pm Title: Never sing of love if it doesn’t exist. - I
Aw this whole thing between michael n sonny is soo cuttee so far! I'm excited for whats to come between them. I see him helping her emotionally through whatever issues she's had in her past, better than alieu anyway lol. Well i remember you said he'll be back in the story later so hmm.. wonder how that's gone turn out lol!
Date: Aug 19, 2018 11:59 am Title: Never sing of love if it doesn’t exist. - I
First of all from my last review it should be pill* not pillow.
Thanks for updating so fast! I got twice the treat today. Regardling the end notes from the previous chapter about Sonja having a mental illness... that didn't even come to mind! But now that I think about it I can see that she would have one. Are you ever going to mention it? Not necessarily in thorough detail, but just minorly.
And I wonder how Michael is going to play a factor in her improvement...
So much to come. So excited for the future!
Michael and Sonny are still in that awkward stage of a beginning friendship, but I can't wait until they are fully comfortable.
And they obviously have things in common. Like their lack of success in their relationships. The only thing is Sonja has somewhat given up while Michael keeps trying. Can't wait to see where this goes!
Loved, loved, loved the updates.
Date: Aug 19, 2018 11:44 am Title: Bags, and bags of tea (and burden).
The fact that this story deserves waaay more attention than it's getting. Your writing is seriously one for the books and I know we're only 2 chapters in, but I swear I only check this site to see if you've updated. Thank you so much for taking the time out to write and upload. Your hard work does not go unnoticed!
Now onto this chapter. This chapter was heavy, dark, included some humerous moments, but all in all was somewhat of a hard pillow to swallow especially during Alli and Sonny's conversation. I figured the girl had a dark past, but it's really dark. I don't want to speculate what it could be just yet cuz I need more information, but I see why she's so... closed off. And it seems like she both overthinks things, but jumps into thoughts too. The fact that she was so scared just to be Michael's friend and not so much for the fact in getting hurt herself, but because she was afraid she'd let him down and couldn't be there for him. That alone shows who she is as a person and I love it.
I can't wait until we get deeper into Sonny's past because I'm biting my nails and clutching my pearls just thinking about it.
So glad that Michael and Sonny are going to try being friends. Can't wait to see how this blooms!
LMFAO @ the whole vibrator scene. "Can you please put the vibrator down?" HA.
Date: Aug 04, 2018 08:06 pm Title: A moment of uitwaaien is for the long plain fields, not for the cities full of smoke.
Yea michael is a bit weird for showin up that late but im kinda glad he did at the same time that sonja and alieu got to the door. Now dont get me wrong i do like alieu's character so far buut im keeping eye on him at the same time cuz who knows what he may really be up to ya know? Anywho, i lovee the way your writing style is; so detailed and creative at that. The whole atmosphere of that club and the hair salon i could just picture it all in my head woo chile! Lol and the way sonja is with her peoples. That miss shirley is somethin else too. Im surprised they all don't clash with each other cuz they personalities are so different! I also enjoy how sonja is in this constant battle within herself, i'm just like gurrl i know youre catching some feelins for michael lol i guess it's just the beginning stages still with that. I absoloutely encourage a continuation of this story to see where it goes! You are an amazing author!!
Hahaha, I'm happy you feel that way pertaining Michael! I'll admit, it's very, very weird for the guy to be at her door so late in the night. He didn't have any ill intentions, though. That's just the type of person he is.
I'm crying at you being sus about Alieu. He's just too nice, isn't he? Like that's so unrealistic for men! You should keep an eye on him because he's far from holy and has his flaws too. One that probably affects Sonja deeply than it's intended to.
Thank you, thank you, thank youuuu! I don't deserve this praise, why is everyone so nice to me here? I'm shocked!
My writing style varies from fanfic and for this one, I tried not to be simple but not too complex. I'm so glad it was enjoyable for you to read, there was probably an annoying amount of purple prose and yet you still like it? Ahhhhh, my heart. I'm still so shocked y'all are telling me my description of the places Sonja went to were vivid. I thought I sucked at it! I'm also glad my character's personalities were diverse enough, and them not clashing.. well Cynthia is to thank for that!
Yesss, Sonja is in denial. She's always in denial with a lot of things. Though her reasonings are a bit more justifiable and yet all the more peculiar... We will get into that one day!
Thank you for the review!
Date: Aug 04, 2018 05:32 am Title: A moment of uitwaaien is for the long plain fields, not for the cities full of smoke.
Me? An Icon? Don't be geeking my head up now LOL. But forreal thanks so much for the compliments and the fact that you like some of my main girl OC's cuz a nigga be working real hard.
Now onto this almost 8,000 word chapter that you just slapped me with. I was geekin' to clock off work and get home so i could read and review. So prepare yourself because not only is the review about to be lengthy but im bout to gas you up real quick cuz you did the damn thing on this chapter. Where you been all my life, Pultrite? You been hiding all this good ass creativity.
The whole first half of this chapter had me weeeaaaaak. From Mavis (it was Mavis right?) getting slapped upside the head with a curling iron; to sister shirley pleasing herself underneath the sheets (i hate a mf religious-ass hyprocrite); right back to Mavis and the short (but entertaining) breakdown of her. When I say that not one of those personalities clashed. They were orignial, entertaining, and most importantly real.
Now on to Lala's Cane... when I say you got imagery on point... you got it on mf point. When I say a bitch was having flashbacks to the club near my college campus... I was having flash backs LOL.
Ayo, Alli, holla at me when Sonny makes you mad. Believe it or not I like their characters together. It felt...easy and not forced. TBH The whole time I was reading this I didn't even care if Michael made an appearance or not.This would make a good urban fiction book if you subtracted Mike (but of course I like it this way too!)
Now on to Sonny and Alli about to get down to the nitty-gritty and Michael popping up unannouced. Sonny blocked Alli so damn hard so damn fast. I would've been like Mike you gotta go hun. Come back proper business hours... Dawg, I just knew he was gon pop up!!
Lastly, to Sonny and your end notes. I could tell almost immediately that Sonny wasn't attracted to Michael sexually, but I do notice that there is some sort of attraction there. Like a negative and positive magnet. There's a pull for the both of them obviously because 1) Michael came back and 2) Sonja kicked out what I know was about to be some fire dick.. okaaaay. So of course there is something there.
And man I ain't even mad that Sonja and Mike ain't about to get freaky any time soon. I'm mad curious to see how all of this is going to work out and I'm happy that you updated this soon. Now let me go take a shower then sip on some herbal green tea while I reread this chapter again....
To me, people like you are iconic. I'm very honored to have someone like you (who has been with MJFiction, for quite a while, and thus seasoned and knowledgeable about it all) reading my work. It means a whole lot! I've seen you've updated a lot of your works, and the one I'm reading I have yet to catch up on because school is currently giving me the strap but I will soon though! Your characters are great, they are all different, diverse, and beautiful. Michael Jackson, who? I don't know him! Those ladies are the real MVPs. We support beautiful women written by a great author!
*Pterodactyl screech* Where do I begin? Oh wait, I know! Thank you so much for reading! I will probably always say that because I am always grateful. Support is one of the best ways for someone to progress and progress I shall! This chapter came by quite quick, 8k words? not the biggest number by a long shot but how I pulled that off in a week with work and everything. It's a miracle! You seriously had me smiling with this review but I was a bit shocked because I was like damn a review already? I don't deserve that type of appreciation.
Where have I been hiding this creativity? Kek, nowhere really! I do have other sites where I write work for them too but the fandom is entirely different and whatnot. Though, a lot of my work is hidden and never sees the light of day. What can I say? I'm a lazy bitch who drinks lazy bitch juice.
It's really sweet and astounding that the few works I do publish do garner attention. I'm in awe forever!
I'm glad I could crack you up a bit! Mavis (Yes, that is her name!) is a very eccentric person. Is it because of no supervision? No one really knows, she's just a very gay and very annoying nigresses. In fact, so annoying Sonja smacks her with a hot curling iron. Her anger knows no bounds, especially with this one.
I actually based Shirley on someone I know, but oddly enough their name is not Shirley. The Shirley I know is very laid-back and has a personality very similar to Sonja's. FASW Shirley has a little tolerance for people like Sonja and Mavis. I still don't know why she keeps her job at the salon, but each time they harass her she questions the credibility of everyone else that failed to defend her. It's very funny to watch.
I'm very glad these personalities did not clash! It makes it so easier to do dialogue because then people are like 'Oh, yeah only Mavis would reply like that, etc, etc, etc.' Without having to explicitly say it.
With Lala's Cane.. I gotta be honest, I actually went to a club last week and was like 'Yeah lemme get this imagery down'. I tried not to detail every little thing. Not all the time does everything have to have the big picture, aha. The fact that I was on point, in your humble opinion, is exactly what I hoped for.
Alieu and Sonja? Yes, we sort of support... (I shouldn't be admitting this, this is a Sonja/MJ fanfic!! Geez!) They've known each other for a while and they never really got tired of one another. The healthiest FWB couple that I know, but if they were dating, dating... it'd be too sexy... someone will get pregnant... too much sex...
I wonder why they haven't crossed that line though? Hm.
Anywho, Alieu is a very funny man, who can cook, listen, and support you. Since he's not dating anyone, and since Sonja isn't the jealous type, I'm perfectly fine with giving Alli to you! He's a sleeping beauty type, though. Not everyone likes a man that snores, ukwim?
Yes, Michael popping up was almost like on cue. Sonja and Alieu, as hot as they are we probably will never get to see their shenanigans on screen like that ever again. Michael won't be to blame fully on that, though. Please cut him some slack! He really thought long and hard about coming over to her place, he even brought a gift as an apology! Just cut like a smidgen, however, because he still came over so damn late in the night tryna talk to her. Who does that? Only weirdos.
Yeah, Sonja doesn't see Michael as anything but a celebrity that thinks she's funny. She refuses to see him anything less of that because something could go wrong! But, but, but... we can say for now that this attraction felt between them is definitely not on the same side of the spectrum and maybe not even with the same force. It's a bit one-sided now. Michael came back because... who knows? Sonja let him in her apartment because.... where else could he go, really? It'd also be so awkward for Alieu to come into her apartment and proceed to dick Sonja down while Michael watched afar from the couch like:
Date: Aug 01, 2018 11:05 pm Title: Yuanfen.
Can't lie, the summary really intrigued me I was like, "okuurr this girl Sonja seem different from all the female characters i read about." The way you detailed everything down to a T was beyond me. And the first chapter, whew chile.... the AMAZEMENT. I love how you have Sonja as this beautiful black woman who has a mouth on her, blunt and of course loves her blunts lol. Overall, I can't wait to read more and see what you have in store for us readers.
I'm blushing like crazy, is this real life? I'm getting compliments? I'm about to pass out. Reviews like these have been so sweet and uplifting! You saying that Sonja is different from other OC's? Too much flattery, I really don't deserve it.
I try very hard to make sure detail is a part of everything, that's a feature that I really respect out of authors. When they at least detail something, it's engaging and open's one's mind to the imagery. I've been working on detailing my stories for years now and while my writing style for this particular fanfic is very simple at the moment, I'm pretty sure I'll have to go in deeper writing for this soon! Ah... description... my labors of Hercules and yet my Achilles Heel as well.
Thank you, thank you, and thank you! I'm so pleased you like Sonja's personality, a lot of tropes went into this and work man... you guys should see the document outline for the work that I and my friend had originally started with.... 56 pages of just outline... Whew boy, glad to see it paid off.
The second chapter will be coming soon! I appreciate the support!
Date: Jul 30, 2018 05:31 pm Title: Yuanfen.
Captured my attention immediately with your synopsis. I am excited for this! It is fresh, new, creative, and detailed. You've outlined Sonja enough to where I get enough understanding of her to want to know even more. I also like how you started the chapter. Your vocabulary feeds the story well and the dialogue is comfortable. I am looking forward to much more of this. Thank you for sharing your work!
I’m glad my summary was shiny enough to catch your eyes, ahaha! My heart is swelling at this review, “New”?, “Creative”? Please you flatter me too much. Also yes, you’ll be getting to know Sonja thoroughly. She is the main character after all and well.... Michael sort of falls under deuteragonist.
She’s actually an OC of another big work that will soon become a comic but I wanted to implant her into this story and see if her character works on paper. I really took a leap with the start of the chapter, “I want a fucking blunt.”, Sonja... she’s too vulgar, smh.
The vocab gotta be on point for the detail, this story is very discriptive. I didn’t go the route of purple prose galore because I felt that was too extra for this work but sometimes.. sometimes it will pop up!
Fate, she’s almost a character in this work. She’s also definitely not a nice person and not very nice to Sonja, to be honest. I don’t think she’s intending Michael and Sonja to have a romantic or platonic relationship. Well, that’s for me to know and for you to find out.
Date: Jul 30, 2018 07:02 am Title: Yuanfen.
Maaan, you did that on the summary! I like the way you wrote/worded it. This first chapter was quick but I like that. I like Sonja as a character so first and of course Michael (duh why else are we here?) I really hope you do make time to push out updates for this story! I will be looking for it!
And yes, Sonja. Puff, puff, pass girl.
Am I blushing? Yes I am!! Thank you so much, icon! I’m going to be honest, there was a few versions of the summary. One was actually a bit more heartfelt and sweeter than the other but I opted to go the angsty route.
I’m very glad you like Sonja as a character, it means a lot coming from you when I love almost all of your main OC’s! She is usually what people would consider a bitch or just plain scary, compared to my version of Michael, who is kind and calm. Opposites attract heavily in this story.
I’ll do my best to push out updates! I want to make the chapters long enough to appease people during my times away. Amazing author’s like you who critique my work give me the motivation I need.
And if you’d like to know, marijuana is everywhere in this fanfic. Everyone in rotation!