Reviews For LEGEND
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Reviewer: yourburgersarethebest Signed [Report This]
Date: Jan 05, 2020 12:29 am Title: Chapter 4

“Hey.” He stepped toward me with a warning gaze in his eyes. “You don’t have to be glad to see me, but boy I am your mother’s brother goddammit, you’re gonna respect me.” Something in his tone made me slightly more subdued. He hadn’t lost his sharp tongue but something was definitely different about him. Even the way he stood straight and tall, he was more serious now than I ever remembered. I knew prison could change a man but I hardly expected this. Without warning he grabbed my chin and peered into my eyes. I broke out of his grasp and stepped back.


I really liked this paragraph. I knew exactly what you meant by writing "something in his tone made me slightly more subdued."

Latoya said and then poked me in the side. I flinched because it tickled.

Awwe, LOL she's so cute with her little brother :)

 

I enjoyed reading this chapter. :)

Reviewer: yourburgersarethebest Signed [Report This]
Date: Aug 25, 2019 08:12 pm Title: Chapter 2

Wow! I haven't been around to read things lately since I started school again, but I like the way that you wrote Michael's introspection in this chapter. It was believable and it made me think about what he might have felt like if something like this had really happened. 

 

Question: why does Cedric feel somewhat haunted by the girl he is with?

 

Hope to read more soon!

Reviewer: yourburgersarethebest Signed [Report This]
Date: Aug 09, 2019 05:52 pm Title: Chapter 1

Hi Ms. Apricot :)

I see that you have started in the middle of the story, using "in medias res". Good technique to throw us into your characters' lives.

Is Ranci his friend or just a past model, like Angel? (I feel sorry for Angel. Is she starting out as a video girl, and thus being really complacent with the guy?)

So, are Michael and Brooke are going to be a "thing" in this story (or nah)?

And I take it that Alex (the biracial one) is a friend of Michael's? What will be his role in the story? Is Alex Quincy's son?

And who is Pete? Is he a real person? (Maybe if I had his last name, I could guess who he is.) (I know who John Landis is.)

Looking to read more of this. I expect more greatness after finishing "Smoke"! :D

 

Reviewer: WomanOhWoman Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: Aug 08, 2019 05:49 pm Title: Chapter 25

I know this story is abandoned but could you tell me what would have happened? I'm really curious as to where the story would have gone.

Reviewer: WomanOhWoman Signed [Report This]
Date: Jul 24, 2019 07:00 pm Title: Chapter 3

I'm really excited to see where this goes! Richie is a complete asshole so far; I really want to see how he and MJ interact as the story progresses

Reviewer: LS15 Signed [Report This]
Date: Jun 03, 2018 12:09 pm Title: Chapter 25

good work in this, very interesting. I hate richie tho lol

Reviewer: TheEightiesLover Signed [Report This]
Date: Aug 17, 2017 03:52 am Title: Chapter 25

Lmao, poor Michael!

Reviewer: ILoveMJ777 Signed [Report This]
Date: May 07, 2017 01:53 pm Title: Chapter 1

I WAS IN THE WRONG PLACE. I DON'T EVEN  UNDERSTAND WHY THIS STORY WAS LISTED UNDER THE 'SLASH' CATEGORY. I'M OUT OF HERE.

Reviewer: Taurus03 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: Apr 30, 2017 10:43 pm Title: Chapter 25

That damned Richie! 😂

Reviewer: LandraSony Signed [Report This]
Date: Mar 25, 2017 08:40 am Title: Chapter 25

That was quite a funny chapter :-)

I loved it!

Reviewer: Taurus03 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: Mar 09, 2017 04:40 am Title: Chapter 24

Deep.

Reviewer: Taurus03 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: Mar 09, 2017 04:37 am Title: Chapter 23

This was sweet.

Reviewer: Taurus03 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: Mar 09, 2017 04:37 am Title: Chapter 23

This was sweet.

Reviewer: Taurus03 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: Mar 09, 2017 04:37 am Title: Chapter 23

This was sweet.

Reviewer: Taurus03 Signed [Report This]
Date: Mar 09, 2017 04:37 am Title: Chapter 23

This was sweet.

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