Date: Oct 22, 2016 09:05 am Title: Chapter 2 - Chew and Spit
Poor Grace, her life is horrible! Her sister needs help! She should dump that fiancé of hers. One question, is her fiancé the father of Justice? Are they just getting married because of her? Great chapter, can't wait for the next one!
Thank you :)
Her fiancé is Justice's father. Their love kind of faded, and they are getting married because of her. They are getting pressure from both sides of the family.
Date: Oct 21, 2016 10:07 am Title: Chapter 2 - Chew and Spit
Did she get her mail back? Hows their dad famous think i missed that. Great start to this.
Yep, she got it back.
I put it in the summary, not in the story yet, but they are actually adopted. Their father is a politician and their mother is his trophy wife.
Date: Aug 24, 2016 08:09 pm Title: Chapter 1 - Amazing Grace
I read your blurb and couldn't help being intrigued. Grace has quite a history behind her, and I'd love to learn more about her.
I was also quite surprised by your writing. A lot of stories on this site are unintelligible, but yours reads quite well and wasn't full of headache-inducing errors. Not only is it readable, it was very entertaining. Grace's conversations with her foster mother and sister were funny, even if their attitudes bordered on outrageous at times. They're both wonderfully detestable. :)
That being said, there were a few parts that I didn't like much. For instance, there's the inevitable scene that seems to be in every fanfic where the girl's family insults MJ and the girl rushes to defend him, even though she doesn't know him personally and doesn't have all the facts. If she was a fan of him and they were insulting him primarily to mess with her, then I'd be more willing to give it a pass. As it is, though, her defending him seems to come out of nowhere, even if she thinks he's hot. Why would she care about them insulting some random celebrity, unless she was already a fan of his? Just a thought.
Overall I enjoyed this and will keep reading. Good luck. :)
Thank you so much for the kind words, and for taking notice of my best efforts. I have always loved writing, especially fiction, and I try my best to make it entertianing, and of course, legible for readers.
I get the frustration with the defensive fangirl in many stories, however, I feel that in Grace's case, the girl actually is (rather, is about to be) a lawyer. She didn't defend him on a personal level, nor did she insist upon his complete innocence based on how pretty his eyes are. She simply said that nothing had been proven, and that he would receive "due process." Really, she's just thinking like a lawyer. She had also just gotten off the phone with her professor, who had just given her an assignment to "argue for the less popular side" of a particular case. The assignment is in her mind, there's MJ on the TV, at the time the less popular argument was the one for his innocence . . . therefore . . .you see where I'm going here, I'm sure.
Was there anything else that you felt seemed cliche or out of place?
I embrace constructive criticism, I find it very helpful, and I appreciate your attention to detail :) I hope you will continue to read and comment. Thanks!
Date: Aug 23, 2016 12:40 am Title: Chapter 1 - Amazing Grace
I'm loving the so far! by the way, did Michael drew that drawing of himself?? just wondering ^.^
Thank you so much! <3
I actually scribbled that little picture of Michael in a notebook myself while I was in a very boring class. :)
Date: Aug 20, 2016 07:19 am Title: Chapter 1 - Amazing Grace
Miss I just want to say you've getting better everyday. The thing I love the most is the humanity of both characters, both fighting against their personal demons. Keep going, you already have this fan 😉
Thank you so much for that. Encouragement from you guys means everything when I write <3
I always try to give my characters flesh and flaws. Everyone has personal demons and real world problems, so I try to illustrate that the best I can. Much love and appreciation!