Date: Mar 17, 2016 01:38 pm Title: I Need a Friend in the Twilight Zone
I'm feeling you believe me, your not alone in this, though I'm not good in expressing my self, I'll be here reading your blog.
Love you you sweetie....
Thank you luv, you know I appreciate It <3
Date: Mar 05, 2016 04:41 am Title: No one like Mike - Seven Reasons Michael Rocks My World
Read some of your reviews: I highly highly doubt MJ had bipolar. Other DSM-5 dx's, but if I was doing his diagnostic interview, that'd probably be one of the first things I ruled-out.
Why's that? Just curious.
Date: Mar 05, 2016 04:26 am Title: I Need a Friend in the Twilight Zone
Anxiety, ADD, and OCD? There are meds that aren't prone to abuse which can help with those. Therapy is also not easily abused ;) Things often get worse in the beginning; it could also be poor therapeutic match and/or the context which is encouraging her anxiety and behavior has not changed. Not sure how school psychology works there, but in the areas I've lived school psychs mainly do testing, not therapy.
With children, if there are any problems/tensions at home, they will pick up on them. They are actually most likely to by effected by them during the first 2 years of life. If your marriage is failing, the tension is likely to be having a heavy impact on her. I'm not trying to point fingers here, just give context. In that case, family therapy (in conjunction with individual therapy for her) may help give her a place to speak up about how she's feeling.
You are welcome to email me if you'd like more imput. Something tells me that it'll help you to see her doing better and vice versa.
I agree completely :) I'm willing to do family counseling. Husband is not (because I'm the problem). I'll have to keep pushing for that. All the professionals know our situation and the strest that it is unfortunately putting on her. I'm trying as hard as I can to improve that situation, and we are also trying to get her to use her words when she is sad, angry, scared etc. She has trouble with that. Please be assured that she is loved, well cared for, safe, physically healthy and generally happy. We just have to get over some hurdles now. Thanks for insight <3
Date: Mar 04, 2016 07:40 pm Title: I Need a Friend in the Twilight Zone
Do you have a twitter account or instagram or email address? I mean believe me I've been where you are in a different context of course. Anytime you wanna talk, rant, or what i do is bitch and scream lol. I'm here :).
I wish I could, but I'm not allowed to give it out here, and I know I've been in a pain in the butt on this site. I'm probably lucky not to be banned, lol! We'll figure something out. I can tell that we definitely understand each other. <3
Date: Feb 29, 2016 06:53 pm Title: No one like Mike - Seven Reasons Michael Rocks My World
Whoa. That was intense. Interesting that you write him
as being bicurious? Im writing this on here not ur judges daughter story lol thot this format fit it better. This is a really well written story! I can tell you put in a lot of research into it! Ya i never have thought about what the syntomns of Bipolar disorder actually were. I can see how you would think he could have it I mean A LOT of creative people have it. One of my favorite actresses Vivien Leigh has it she just never got the proper treatment for it. And no I know you're not a doctor or a psychologist. It's an interesting theory. However much of what you mentioned and other things hes mentioned such as getting physically sick from seeing Joseph and such. I mean i don't think people know or realize how extensive the abuse was. He literally oiled them up first before beating them. It really fucks with your psyche to have your "parent" legitimately hate you and pretty much want you dead if not have complete and total indifference to whether you live or die. I managed to figure out because i feel like not a lot of people will say this much less have the guts to come out with it, it is possible to hate a parent for whatever reason mostly being they are a toxic person and it is entirely OK to not have ANY feelings towards said person whatsoever. I think and this is just my opinion that Mike was pressured to and i really do hate this word "forgive" Joseph in the sense that he's supposed to justify/make excuses for that abusive behavior part in fact by his mom who im sure is a good person but she acted like a damn bystander. So theres not having a parent who actually cares enough to defend you making you think subconsciously that behavior and actions like Joseph are ok. I dont have a bystander personality so i dont get how people easily let fear or whatever keep them from defending someone much less their kid. He i honestly believe judging from what i've studied about PTSD that he has it. The getting nauseous at the sight of joseph , huge syntomn there, not eating again leftover from being picked apart and harassed by his bros and joseph. I know i have ptsd because i have a psychopath for a biological father who well was abusive in a different context. However the difference is i had the support of my mom and lawyers and basically someone else who understood what he was and what was done to me. So i could recognize that i have ptsd. Mike really didn't. Except Lisa but i dont know if she really understood that he has ptsd. Anyway thats my ranting speech. It always irritates me in general to hear someone defend joseph or some dumb Shit. Idk if uve read the bodyguards book? Think what u want about if its a break in confidentiality, its pretty eye opening. It really describes how he has basically lived pretty isolated and not in the most healthy environment. I have to say he dealt with that pretty damn well. As always i love your stories hope alls well with u
Hey fire! I'm surviving, thanks for asking, cuz no one around me is, lol! I write Michael as bicurious/bisexual because I'm a perv and I like the mental image, lol. I'm not saying he was or wasn't in real life - but I'm not going to say I didn’t get that vibe from him either, lol. Michael was a bit fem, not macho, very sensitive and impeccably groomed (and I mean no disrespect here), all that's just very sexy to me for some reason. I'm also a believer in sexuality on a spectrum, not just one way or the other.
Wow! Forgiveness, hate, or indifference. I could write a whole entry just about that. But as always, I appreciate your sharing and your insight. I know that such intense insight doesn't come out of nowhere. Unfortunately there are a lot of toxic parents out there, parents who shouldn't be parents, and what's even scarier is that most of them don't even realize it. There is absolutely no excuse for the way JJ abused his kids. None. Child abuse in any form is evil. Period. So I say, whichever way helps an individual cope is fine, because it's about them. It's not about the abuser. F*k the abusers' feelings. If their victim resents or rejects or feels indifferent toward them, it's their own damn fault and they need to live with the consequences of what they have done. But I think that everyone copes differently. Me personally, I don't think I'm capable of indifference towards anyone or anything. My emotional skin is down to its last layer and I feel everything. It's just how it is.
I get nauseated when I go to my parents' house too, but I have no more hate for my dad (the non-blood related man who raised me). As sadistic, and physically abusive as he was, watching him die slowly and painfully of liver cancer is ripping my guts out and literally making my hair fall out. It's bad when the doctor offers to prescribe you Xanax without you even asking for it, lol! But seriously, I take no comfort in seeing him in that kind of pain. I forgive him.
Michael, I can't speak for of course, but I honestly think that he tried really hard to forgive his father, but the effects of what was done to him never went away. Yes it was horrific, and yes, I agree that he probably had ptsd. Bipolar - maybe, maybe not. I think this terminology is not the final say of what kind of person you are. These terms are just an attempt at labeling, and explaining abstract things like emotions, for the purpose of organizing information. But we still have a lot to learn about the human brain.
I loved what Michael said in his tear-extracting but beautiful Oxford speech:
"To all of you tonight who feel let down by your parents, I ask you to let down your disappointment. To all of you tonight who feel cheated by your fathers or mothers, I ask you not to cheat yourself further. And to all of you who wish to push your parents away, I ask you to extend you hand to them instead. I am asking you, I am asking myself, to give our parents the gift of unconditional love, so that they too may learn how to love from us, their children. So that love will finally be restored to a desolate and lonely world."
I think he really believed that. I don't think he just said it because it sounds good.
I see the world mostly in shades of gray, as you can probably tell. There are some things that are black and white, cut and dry, like child abuse being evil and such. But emotions are not black and white, and recovery is not a straight line. I hope you are able to make peace with your past, however you may get there, because you don't deserve to be cheated out of it <3
Date: Feb 01, 2016 11:28 pm Title: Michaelgate
Hey! I am so sorry for not responding to this blog before. I was going to but my phone won`t let me type anything else than really short messages before it messes everything up and I have avoided using my pc in case anyone could see where I had been...
I absolutely love this blog, I really do! I felt as though we had been friends for a really long time and I love your sense of humor and your spririt in face of difficult times. I hope you are doing fine and that he at least treats you okey, your husband. I am much younger than you (17) but I feel that if we had met we could have had so much fun talking about MJ and things in general.
As for the thing about the movie, I have the book and I had heard about the movie project, but not that something was actually happening, and when I saw what you had written, I nearly broke out screaming! I am sharing this wherever I can because this is ABSOLUTELY wonderful! Think about how many people a movie can reach! If this is successfull then it can reach so many people, much more than blogs and books (even though that is wonderful too).
Much L.O.V.E :)
PS, I read this right before I was going to sleep and now I have slept like... 5 hours tonight... x) well, well...
Awww, thank you :) It's all good luv! We would totally be friends! Thank you for considering supporting this movie campaign. I think it is SO important! And I appreciate the love and encouragement <3
Date: Feb 01, 2016 06:23 am Title: Michaelgate
Aw, don't give up girl, your blog is great! Don't be discouraged about getting few reviews, (I know it can be hard) just think of being able to help someone and making new friends who have similar interests as yours, like loving Michael :).
I've been seeing this project circulating on facebook. It's always refreshing and a relief seeing continued efforts to vindicate Michael's name. Those Chandlers, Arvizos and all the other idiots should not even have a platform to spread their lies. I hoe that it comes to fruition and manage to reach a wide audience ( particularly the skeptics and haters).
Let's all rally up and give hersome support. We finally put to an end the ever lingering doubt that Michael 'behaved inappropriately' with Jordan or any other child for that matter.
Sorry if my English/grammar is off. English isn't my first language.
Yes, thank you! We can do this.
Thank you so much for all the encouragement and support <3
Date: Feb 01, 2016 06:06 am Title: If one single problem in your life could just FO . . .
(((hugs to you dear)))
I empathise with what you've gone through. I, too, struggle with confidence issues.
But I think the one thing that irks me is not knowing what to do in life and being scared. Not even knowing what to do in university. I hate that feeling of just feeling empty, like you know nothing. Plus, always having to hear that 'people go their different ways, even family' scares me all the more. I know it happens but it's still scary to accept that.
I hope things will be better for you. It'll all be okay. As hard as it can be most of the times, there is always light at the end of every tunnel. :)
Thank you luv <3 We'll get there. Both of us.
Don't be scared to love what you love! Do the things that you are compelled to do - hobbies and interests, and then you'll know what you will be suited for. Don't go into any field that doesn't really interest you, just because it pays well. That never works. Listen to your most honest inner voices. They are true you, and you'll know them when you hear them :)
Date: Feb 01, 2016 05:51 am Title: The Anatomy of Mikegasm - Seven oddly sensual pics
Number 4 gets to me all the time! And it doesn't help that he looks amazing in all of them. Okay, I'm in need of holy water right now ~fans self.
What really amazes me is how he could effortlessly look sexy. He could be just standing somewhere, smiling... he could be dancing his ass off and look as fine as hell. Even when he is sad, angry, pensive etc, he manages to look beautiful.
"And I'm sure we have all strained our eyes to try to see under that strip of cloth in the yana video - again, not judging."
LOL, the struggle. Me neither. Been there, still there. :D
Hahahah! The struggle is real. Michael is/was the hotness! And beautiful inside and out <3
Date: Feb 01, 2016 05:40 am Title: No one like Mike - Seven Reasons Michael Rocks My World
I hope I'm not late in replying :)
Gaaah! I agree with you 100000%! You really said what I feel about him. I loved how you've explained your reasons for loving Michael. His beauty (in and out), sensitivity, love for people of the world, respect towards women, his voice...smile..eyes....etc. and many more!
I've been a fan since I was 3/4 years old. It has been great journey and I find myself loving him more and more as the years go by.
Thank you for expressing what millions of fans would.
Hey!!! Thank you for the love :) Michael . . . Sigh . . .he really was something else <3
Date: Feb 01, 2016 01:47 am Title: Michaelgate
I am actually gong to look into this, very interesting and it's abouut time that we have a documentary that proves this whole extortion attempt was a giant lie. t has my support im going to look for the GoFundMe page later on today here!
btw: I wouldn't delete this blog, if anything even though peole may not comment, it is still being read :) I think you're rather interesting t say the least. and to be quite honest, there could be some like myself who discover your art and reay like what you create and become curious abut the erson behind the fiction (Your descrotions and writing style as you know im a dire hard fan of haha) so just because it hasn't reached the masses so fr doesn't ean it wont. Haha Rome wasnt built and suceeded overnight right?
That's true, lol! Thank you so much for the encouragement. And I really appreciate you looking into this campaign. This thing is quite important to me. I want the truth about Michael to finally be told so effing bad! I want to shout it on the streets with a megaphone. Of course I won't do that though, lol!
Date: Feb 01, 2016 01:41 am Title: Total frustration and 5 reasons why I can't make it through the night
Excuse me ingesting everything that you have written. Allow me to be very serious for the moment.
1. I know exactly how you feel. on more than just this surfaced level. I felt like I was readig my own story. I am not speaking like someone whos just trying to identify but really I live this on a daily. I have kept with me several bottles of Over the counter generic liquid gel sleeping medication because I cannot get an ounce of sleep and if I do fall asleep it doesn't last but for an hour. Usually then I m groggy, sick to my stomach, and wide awake. I can already tell that these will not be enough and I have been on the verge of getting something stronger like Ambian. Currently, I have ingested 3 pills already that would usually put me to sleep and here I am at 3:32am lol go figure right?
I am sorry you seem to be not only battling with Anxiety (I understand you) but also with a compromised immune ystem that seems to put you in some issues. I know you didn't meantion anything as far as what you have beause I know its conidered "classified" information not to be shared wth the internet however, I get a sense if your anything like myself is there a chance for fibromyalgia?? It's awful and nothing seems to help.
You know I know life ad work seems to be a burden, and honestly it brings a sense of worry when you mention giving up on life, I know this blog entery is rather old howver it still worries me I hope you are currently doing much better!
For the record, I wouldn't worry about scaring people away, I wouldn't worry rather or not what you write about your life is either sad and depressing. It's sort of what life is.. Life is cruel, unfair, a pain in the ass and quite messy. I can't envision life being any different, exclusing the good days and happy moments. :) :) Givin you a virtual hug Miss! Hope things are in a better contrast to this!
Thank you lady luv <3 When I first wrote that, no one gave a crap, lol. It sucks that you can empathize on a personal level, cuz I know this is not easy for anyone :(
Fibromyalgia was one guess . . .no one knows exactly what's wrong with me besides the spinext and knee injury from a car accident. From that I have chronic pain. From the chronic pain, I have a vicodin addiction. You know how it goes lol. But yes, I am doing much better emotionally these days, so no worries, k?
The thing about Ambien: I can definitely empathize with the sleeplessness. I've had insomnia since I was a kid. I have suffered with it my whole life. Ambien has given me a chance to have a life, to keep a job, to take care of my kid. I need the stuff, so I'm never going to be free of it. It is a great medicine, it can give you your life back, but you will never again be able to sleep without it :/ You have to weigh the pros and cons.
Thank you so much for all the love! Big virtual hugs coming your way :) ((( )))