Date: Jun 09, 2020 10:32 pm Title: Chapter 76
Hopefully they'll find Larry to get all this resolved and clear Michael's name. But I also have to say that I wish Melina would just give Michael just a little bit of space to process orders all of this. Her insecurities are what is keeping Michael for sharing this newfound information with her about Larry because she'll most likely immediately think that Michael will want to go back to Diane and Casey.
Date: Apr 15, 2020 06:25 am Title: Prologue
Hands down the best fanfic on here!!!!
Wondering how I did not come across it for the past 5 years....
Absolutely brilliant! I love how "close to real life events" it is. Started reading it yesterday couldnt stop until the last available chapter.
You are a gifted author.
My heart goes out to you at the loss of your Mum, sending MJ hugs and kisses x
Thank you love! You are so sweet and this is such a kind message. Weirdly enough, my Mum has been gone now for almost 4 years! (It doesnt get any easier, though in all honesty so thank you!) And I'm still writing this :P I have a lot of time on my hands at the moment so I am looking forward to finishing it.
I hope you'll continue to enjoy the story as it unravels and closes :) Lots of love right back at ya!
Date: Apr 08, 2020 05:55 am Title: Chapter 5
I remember reading this story a long time ago and thinking it was pretty good, but at the time I was busy with other things and lost track of all the fanfiction I used to read. Since I saw that you were trying to finish it, I thought I'd revisit this.
Right off the bat, this story drew me in because of the lack of errors. XD But seriously, this came as a surprise and real treat. It is extremely well-written, leaps and bounds beyond most of what's on this site. It reads almost like an officially published novel. You should be proud of it, because not only is the prose excellent, I can tell you really did your research. I'm assuming you've been a fan and studying MJ for years, because your characterization of him is incredibly believable and authentic.
My only concern in these early chapters was that you would wind up spending too much time focusing on Michael's emotional suffering and grief to the point where it would become too repetitive, but you went ahead and switched the POV to Malania before it got to be too much. I also must say that I really like Malania so far. She's not a perfect Mary Sue type heroine; she has a detailed backstory and her characterization is very clear and strong. Like your depiction of Michael, she has both admirable qualities as well as flaws which can be exploited as the plot unfolds.
I look forward to reading on, and since you have shown yourself to be very receptive to comments from readers, I will be posting further reviews every few chapters or so. Rock on! <3
Thanks so much for your lovely detailed comment. Its really nice to hear from someone who has put a lot of thought in to their response. As a writer, that is incredibly complimentary and such a nice feeling. It takes a lot of effort to write detailed comments, I know! Thank you for saying such kind things about my writing. I am trying very hard to write books outside of my MJ fandom, so sometimes a bit of a build-me-up when self-doubt sets in is really nice! You are right, I have been a fan of MJ since the late 80s. Obviously the MJ in this story is closest to what I expect him to be with some poetic licence, of course! I'm sure he had his Peter Pan side, but I'm also sure he had his normal guy side too. I think its very important to highlight that although many of us thought of him as a hero to us, he was also just a human guy who probably did annoying stuff and had annoying habits and reactions that disappointed at times.
When I read Malania's name sometimes I get disappointed because of Trump's Malania, but honestly, Malania is a common Eastern European name and thankfully I dont conjure her up when I think of MY Malania. Malania can be a bit annoying but I'm glad that she can be because she is a flawed person, I like that she's not perfect and she can be incredibly frustrating and childish but also insightful and doesn't take Michael's shit and doesn't always eat up his "sunflowers and rainbows" outlook on the world. That makes her human. I think sometimes fictions make the female lead in to a "shell" of a woman that has no personality or who is obsessed with sex with Michael and the reality is, is after the initial excitement dies off, a personality will keep a romantic relationship more interesting than sex. I like that my characters are complexed and flawed. Its the best part about them both :)
Thank you so much again for writing your lovely comment. I am still writing chapters but I am near the end now and am trying to unravel the plot and take my time (as I have plenty of time at the moment!!!) with the ending so it doesn't feel rushed.
Have a great day :)
Date: Mar 14, 2020 05:31 pm Title: Chapter 44
What a rollercoaster! Omigod, that literally tore me apart. You have such if way of expressing emotions through dialogue, and I really enjoyed how you transitioned MJ from fear/sadness to complete anger/sadness. I love this so much. Like I said, you have a way with expressing emotions, and man, is it killing me!
I cant remember exactly what happens in this chapter without reading, but i have a brief idea. Poor MJ. Surely theres to be some relief soon.
Date: Mar 14, 2020 05:04 pm Title: Chapter 40
Amagawd. Jesus, your making my heart jump in happiness! I’m just enjoying this so much because it actually feels like they’ve finally reached this point of gushy romance stuff and it does not feel at all cringe like in some stories. It just feels so realistic and *well earned*.
haha you are so gorgeous! thanks :) i hate cheesy romance... i mean some cheese is OK but then it gets to the stage you want to punch puppies.
Date: Mar 14, 2020 12:32 pm Title: Chapter 30
I really love how Melania and MJ’s relationship is shaping. Wow, this is so realistic this is like a little gem. I’m so happy I found this! The way you write about their insecurities and their interactions and how they struggle to make their relationship is amazing. All the while, it totally feels like MJ is in-character. You have a real knack for diving into people’s POV and I feel like you captured MJ’s POV as close as anyone could. Wow!
WOW :) such a lovely compliment. Thanks so much, I am so glad you like reading this. I feel like I'm a bit of an empath toward people and sometimes would guess how MJ was feeling during the trial. Trying to be strong, but it would fucking terrible on the inside in private trying to deal with it all. Thank you thank you! :)
Date: Mar 14, 2020 12:11 pm Title: Chapter 2
That ending scene where MJ refuses to get out of bed was really well written. I’ve always thought of him as a guy who, as an adult, had a part of him who was a bit of a kid, slightly innocent, tired, bit whiny, but of course still jaded as he grew older. I feel like this scene highlighted that part of him, and honestly, I can totally imagine this happening in real life. Good job!
Thanks Cat! Your compliments mean a lot and yeah, thats totally how I imagined him as well :) a bit of a baby about things, wanting to try to block it all out and just have someone be able to swoop in and make it okay. I can understand that....