Date: Aug 17, 2020 12:52 pm Title: Chapter 15
Malania is a true and good friend to Michael:) Yes, he was a bit of a jerk at the beginning of the chapter, but given his chaotic state of mind, and his fear that his secret has been discovered, it is forgivable (especially because he went back to "normal", caring Michael).
And something struck me in the previous chapter - it was present in the other chapters too: Michael had become too involved in the lives of Casey and Diane, I think it was not very healthy.
It would be very nice to see Michael and Malania's adventures in town in the next chapter. I am curious if Michael will go unnoticed:)
Date: Aug 11, 2020 01:29 pm Title: Chapter 13
i loved how Michael sensed there was something that was bothering Malania, that she was not herself. And it was nice to see her starting to open up to him about her past and about the relationship she has with her family. The understanding and connection between two hurt souls like Michael and Malania was done in a beautiful and realistic way.
Date: Aug 05, 2020 01:58 pm Title: Chapter 11
I love how beautifully insert the flashbacks into the present time (and without notifying the reader). I feel like I am watching a movie. And even if the flashback does not seem to immediately connect to the present time presented in the same chapter, it feels like it is not random at all.
Malania has had a hard life. I loved the scene between her and her father, they seem to have a beautiful relationship.
Date: Jul 25, 2020 09:18 am Title: Chapter 10
Lovely chapter! I have been waiting for a longer conversation between Malania and Michael, and I am not disappointed:) It seems they have established a connection, and that they have things in common. It appears that Malania hides some trauma (and Michael perceived that) and the moment with her brother in the previous chapter is just a part of it. I loved that she was not intimidated or overwhelmed by Michael's status, nor did she act like a fangirl, but treated Michael like a human being.
Date: Jul 22, 2020 09:20 am Title: Chapter 7
This story feels like a puzzle, with each chapter providing one small piece that would complete it - and I love it:) Judging by the number of chapters, there will be many pieces. I, for one, am not only curious about how Michael will get through this, but also about what the reasons are for Diane to accuse Michael of inappropirate behaviour with Casey.
I love how you portray Michael's vulnerability and fear, and also his kind heart. "Walking, talking cashcow, that's all I was to anyone" - that phrase was painful to read (and so true).
Date: Jul 21, 2020 01:52 pm Title: Chapter 5
Beautiful chapter! Malania's point of view adds another layer to the story. I think it is very realistic to see her awkwardness at finding herself face to face with Michael for more than 10-15 minutes (I don't know how long are backstage conversations between a star and a fan, lol), and see a more personal side of him. Very nice (and in-character) of Michael to offer her shelter:)
Date: Jul 19, 2020 12:02 pm Title: Chapter 2
Hi! New reader here:) Just dropping by to say that I have read the first 3 chapters of your story (the Prologue and the first 2 chapters), and I have enjoyed it very much! You have a wonderful way of immersing the reader into the heart of the characters (Michael, in this case, as the chapters have been from his point of view so far). I think your description of his thoughts and feelings is on point, I can easily imagine that he has experienced such emotions (or at least some of them) when he first heard about the allegations against him.
I am looking forward to reading more, although I am a slow reader (because of lack of time). Great story!
Date: Jun 09, 2020 10:32 pm Title: Chapter 76
Hopefully they'll find Larry to get all this resolved and clear Michael's name. But I also have to say that I wish Melina would just give Michael just a little bit of space to process orders all of this. Her insecurities are what is keeping Michael for sharing this newfound information with her about Larry because she'll most likely immediately think that Michael will want to go back to Diane and Casey.
Date: Apr 15, 2020 06:25 am Title: Prologue
Hands down the best fanfic on here!!!!
Wondering how I did not come across it for the past 5 years....
Absolutely brilliant! I love how "close to real life events" it is. Started reading it yesterday couldnt stop until the last available chapter.
You are a gifted author.
My heart goes out to you at the loss of your Mum, sending MJ hugs and kisses x
Thank you love! You are so sweet and this is such a kind message. Weirdly enough, my Mum has been gone now for almost 4 years! (It doesnt get any easier, though in all honesty so thank you!) And I'm still writing this :P I have a lot of time on my hands at the moment so I am looking forward to finishing it.
I hope you'll continue to enjoy the story as it unravels and closes :) Lots of love right back at ya!
Date: Apr 08, 2020 05:55 am Title: Chapter 5
I remember reading this story a long time ago and thinking it was pretty good, but at the time I was busy with other things and lost track of all the fanfiction I used to read. Since I saw that you were trying to finish it, I thought I'd revisit this.
Right off the bat, this story drew me in because of the lack of errors. XD But seriously, this came as a surprise and real treat. It is extremely well-written, leaps and bounds beyond most of what's on this site. It reads almost like an officially published novel. You should be proud of it, because not only is the prose excellent, I can tell you really did your research. I'm assuming you've been a fan and studying MJ for years, because your characterization of him is incredibly believable and authentic.
My only concern in these early chapters was that you would wind up spending too much time focusing on Michael's emotional suffering and grief to the point where it would become too repetitive, but you went ahead and switched the POV to Malania before it got to be too much. I also must say that I really like Malania so far. She's not a perfect Mary Sue type heroine; she has a detailed backstory and her characterization is very clear and strong. Like your depiction of Michael, she has both admirable qualities as well as flaws which can be exploited as the plot unfolds.
I look forward to reading on, and since you have shown yourself to be very receptive to comments from readers, I will be posting further reviews every few chapters or so. Rock on! <3
Thanks so much for your lovely detailed comment. Its really nice to hear from someone who has put a lot of thought in to their response. As a writer, that is incredibly complimentary and such a nice feeling. It takes a lot of effort to write detailed comments, I know! Thank you for saying such kind things about my writing. I am trying very hard to write books outside of my MJ fandom, so sometimes a bit of a build-me-up when self-doubt sets in is really nice! You are right, I have been a fan of MJ since the late 80s. Obviously the MJ in this story is closest to what I expect him to be with some poetic licence, of course! I'm sure he had his Peter Pan side, but I'm also sure he had his normal guy side too. I think its very important to highlight that although many of us thought of him as a hero to us, he was also just a human guy who probably did annoying stuff and had annoying habits and reactions that disappointed at times.
When I read Malania's name sometimes I get disappointed because of Trump's Malania, but honestly, Malania is a common Eastern European name and thankfully I dont conjure her up when I think of MY Malania. Malania can be a bit annoying but I'm glad that she can be because she is a flawed person, I like that she's not perfect and she can be incredibly frustrating and childish but also insightful and doesn't take Michael's shit and doesn't always eat up his "sunflowers and rainbows" outlook on the world. That makes her human. I think sometimes fictions make the female lead in to a "shell" of a woman that has no personality or who is obsessed with sex with Michael and the reality is, is after the initial excitement dies off, a personality will keep a romantic relationship more interesting than sex. I like that my characters are complexed and flawed. Its the best part about them both :)
Thank you so much again for writing your lovely comment. I am still writing chapters but I am near the end now and am trying to unravel the plot and take my time (as I have plenty of time at the moment!!!) with the ending so it doesn't feel rushed.
Have a great day :)